Topic: "Baby Doctors (2)"
Doctors are supposed to be old, and they are supposed to be wise. It is disconcerting to Frodo whenever he comes into contact with a physician who has not yet read the complete works of William Shakespeare, nor memorized Gray's Anatomy. Frodo truly resents medical practitioners who have deviated into the political arena, for they join the failed attorneys and over-the-hill jocks who populate the Halls of Congress. There are not enough of those people whom Frodo was led to believe worked in medicine because they wanted to "help people."
Frodo's personal physician is a crusty guy who once helped maintain the physical attributes of Navy Pilots. Frodo is comfortable with him because he does not remember Frodo from one visit to the next. Visiting the doctor is an event that, although significant to Frodo, should be handled routinely and efficiently by the medical practitioner. Special treatment and attention is what concerns Frodo.
Frodo once had a hemorrhoid (in this instance it was not George W. Bush). It was not a common occurrence, and neither Frodo nor Sam seemed to have any solution for the discomfort it caused Frodo. As the discomfort, and the swelling, grew, Frodo had to succumb to medical counsel and treatment. Frodo did not have a regular physician at the time so he had to endure the indignity of the local "doc in a box." It was Frodo's very first visit to this innovation in medical care arising from the franchised world of big business.
After a plethora of forms were filled, Frodo was eventually led to a private chamber to await the assigned physician. The wait was interminable, although in truth it was probably only a matter of minutes.
The "doctor" turned out to be an extremely attractive, young, black, female, approximately half Frodo's age. Only one of us blushed as she examined Frodo's chart.
After a few "Hmmm's" and "I see's," she told me that she would have to conduct a digital examination. She asked Frodo if he would be uncomfortable with her performing the examination. Without hesitation Frodo responded, "Young lady, Frodo has no objection whatsoever because you are about to satisfy a lifelong fantasy."
With that, the doctor began to laugh. She laughed so hard that she could not stand up straight, and tears ran down her cheeks onto the examination room floor. Everytime she raised her head and her eyes met Frodo's, she would begin to laugh again. Soon Frodo began to laugh, too. The laughter became so raucous that eventually a nurse knocked on the door to see if there was a problem of some sort. Neither Frodo nor the doctor could stop laughing long enough to answer the door. The nurse must've simply stood there for several minutes, hesitating to interrupt whatever was going on in that examination room.
When, finally, the laughter ceased, the digital examination was just about to commence when the doctor snickered. That started Frodo to laugh again, which, of course, led to the doctor developing another hysterical outburst. By now, Frodo was buck naked, and the doctor had probably wet her britches.
Then, as suddenly as it had begun, the two got their respective breaths, and went efficiently about the completion of their professional relationship. Upon completion, Frodo went to the reception area to finalize the fiscal aspect of his transaction, and to pick up the prescription the doctor had prepared for him. As he started out the door, he turned and looked back to see the doctor standing on the far side of the room, smiling. He said to her, "You were a dream come true." And she started to laugh again as Frodo stepped, smilingly, into a February's twilight.
One thing is for sure. Frodo would never have had such an experience with his present physician.