Frodo, Keeper of the Ring

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Hold On Loosely, But Don't Let Go
Mood:

down
Topic: "Scooter" (2)
Mick, the Wonder Dog, has lost every vestige of patience with Scooter. Despite the innocent appearance and joyful expressions, his constant intrusions upon the peace and serenity of the Shire require a defensive posture. Aggression follows when there is an attempt to mark or otherwise infringe upon that which is the responsibility of the Wonder Dog. Frodo feels exactly the same way.

Scooter was a foster dog who wormed his way into the heart of Frodo's next-door neighbor, and erstwhile write-in candidate for Governor, Mr. Steve. Scooter is entirely peaceful, and maintains the bearing of one who is above the baser instincts of canine behavior. The creatures of the Shire, including Mr. Beau Neau, have taken delight in his presence, and have even found ways to mutually enjoy each others' company. That is, until Scooter decided that unannounced drop-in visits to Frodo's garage were appropriate. Adding to that, the occasional calling card proved to be more than Mick, the Wonder Dog, was prepared to ignore.

About the same time, the trial of "Scooter" Libby commenced in Washington, D.C. Frodo, in his zeal for justice, was often heard to scream something like "Fry the Snotty Bastard!" whenever mention was made of Libby on TV. Association, Frodo supposes, is what caused Mick, the Wonder Dog, to perhaps confuse the mention of the Cheney cloak-and-dagger bagman, with the unannounced presence of their next door neighbor. In any event, relations between the two canines has gone steadily downhill.

Now, Mick, the Wonder Dog, stands guard before his garage doors whenever Scooter strolls down the driveway. A slight snarl from his upper lip reveals a shiny set of canine molars prepared for action. A rumbling from deep in his thorax causes the most mild-mannered to take note of his displeasure. Scooter (the next door neighbor) heads toward another neighbor's yard, seeking relief. Scooter (the snotty bastard) had best be forewarned; enter the Shire at thy own peril. If a Hobbit doesn't kick your butt, then a Wonder Dog has his own methodology for making your memory improve.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:49 PM EST

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Tuesday, February 20, 2007

I Know It Sounds Absurd, Please Tell Me Who I Am
Mood:

energetic
Topic: "Here Come da Judge" (2)
The NCAA has been making life very difficult for Colleges & Universities with team symbols and names which could be interpreted as demeaning, predominantly to Native Americans. The "Warriors," "Seminoles," "Chiefs," "Red Men," "Indians," and "Braves" are all team names for schools which the NCAA has threatened with sanctions and loss of scholarships if their use is continued. Frodo is not interested in matters such as this, simply because what is demeaning in some minds is flattery somewhere else. The best example being the Florida State "Seminoles," widely regarded among that tribe as a very positive image of an independent and determined people. What bothers Frodo however, is hypocrisy.

Dear reader, please consider for a moment the one position in the United States Government that is borne from the terminology used by Native American People. This one position is so highly regarded and recognized that the ultimate symbol of authority, by title, is cast upon the holder of that office. How can it be that in the instance of the United States Government it is okay to call someone by that title, but not okay for some college kid to be a member of a team bearing that title?

The answer is, to Frodo, that it is inconsistent. Frodo is therefore suggesting, nay, Frodo is demanding, that appropriate changes be made to that title so that all Americans are properly served and recognized. Degradation of people by adapting a title of honour and respect in the alien culture that destroyed their independence is arrogant and colonial. As it would be inappropriate to refer to the President of the United States as a Plantation Owner (even though there are distinct parallels), so it is in the instance identified by Frodo.

Figured it out, dear reader? If not, you'll understand why Roberts might be a little upset when Frodo starts calling him "Da Judge" and not "Chief".

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:07 PM EST

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Monday, February 19, 2007

There's an Old Piano And They Play It Hot Behind The Green Door
Mood:

chatty
Topic: "Citizen Soldiers" (2)
Stephen Ambrose wrote in "Citizen Soldiers," that the Germans and the British similarly replaced entire armies for rest. The Americans and the Red Army, he wrote, relied entirely on a system of replacements. By the time of the struggles in 1944-45, over fully half of all the front-line soldiers were individual replacements. The mixing of veteran and replacement in the same ranks became characteristic of the Americans, and spawned a plethora of new terminology and acronyms for the military; SNAFU and FNG come first to mind.

It must be recognized, specifically based on the review of these combat veterans, that there were flaws aplenty in the American methodology. It is not surprising that in today's military actions abroad, entire divisions come and go en masse between active duty and replenishment.

As stated many times, Frodo is not a soldier. Frodo, however, can't help but wonder, philosophically, if the demise of the "Citizen Soldier" of World War II has not proven to be a mistake. It goes without saying that the high cost of this Pre-Emptive War has fallen on the backs of relatively few families, and that an overwhelming number of Americans may not know anyone who has suffered the loss or injury of an immediate family-member. The unquestioned support of the homefront during World War II is not even on a comparable plane to the verbal exchange between those who "support" our troops, and those who "cut and run." Today, we have a lot less invested; all we expend is money. The ability of our "system" to adequately provide for and assist wounded veterans is, unbelievably, grossly, unacceptable. Frodo wonders if that would be the case if a few more Members of the recently-concluded 109th Congress had direct familial involvement.

When the Vietnam War was over, and the Selective Service mechanism was disbanded, Frodo rejoiced. The conflict between those who are soldiers, and those who are not, it seemed, would be forever resolved in Middle Earth. Soldiers would serve as they saw fit, Hobbits would be good citizens, and the Age of Aquarius was at hand.

Frodo was a fool.

Today, Frodo feels that the Draft should be re-instated, and that universal service should exist in the United States, as it does in Israel, in France, and in all those nations who recognize that War requires a total national investment, or it will become too inexpensive. If not, then passing references to activity outside the "Green Zone" will continue to be meaningless, and flights into Dover will increase exponentially.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:54 PM EST

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Sunday, February 18, 2007

A Little Bitty Tear Let Me Down, Spoiled My Act as a Clown
Mood:

smelly
Topic: "Nielsen Ratings" (2)
The partially mummified body of Vincenzo Ricardo, 70, of Hampton Bays, New York, was found in a chair in his living room. The chair was located in front of Mr. Ricardo's television set, which was still on, according to authorities with the Suffolk County Medical Examiner. Mr. Ricardo, said Dr. Stuart Dawson, had been dead more than a year. There was no clear evidence of foul play.

It should be noted that, once the television set was turned off, ratings for "The O'Reilly Factor," and Faux News, in general, dropped more than 50% in overnight ratings recorded by A.C. Neilsen. Frodo concludes that this verifies the "Olbermann Theory" that at least half of all regular viewers of the Rupert Murdoch productions are brain dead.

As the title of this submission reads, Frodo can't help but step back from the humor, and contemplate life for an old man, all alone, whose absence is not noted by anyone for over a year. In reality, there are probably a good number of Vincenzo Ricardo's out there, as there surely will be even more in days to come. It is much to think about. Perhaps Frodo will give Bilbo a call this evening; just to check in. Although Frodo is sure that Bilbo will not be watching Bill O'Reilly, there are many like him who rise the bile in otherwise healthy television viewers, and they may be unable to call for help.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 4:32 PM EST

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Saturday, February 17, 2007

There's Something in The Air Tonight
Mood:

energetic
Although spared his predicted snowfall, the Shire is bitterly cold as Frodo, Fiona, and Mick, the Wonder Dog, engage in their traditional soccer match on Saturday morning. It is one of those frozen moments, soundless, with no movement except for the red-shouldered hawk circling, silently. Grey skies overhead however do not sit for Frodo's mood, for yesterday was the day, that which offers hope and optimism; thoughts of blue skies and puffy summer clouds. Pitchers and catchers reported for Spring training. The gallant Braves begin their quest for the return to greatness.

On countless days such as this Frodo and Strider, or Frodo and Faramir, or Frodo and anyone who could catch-and-return, would gently lob the first Rawlings product of the coming season. The energy encapsulated by frozen ground would burst the rugged seams of adolesence, which could not be controlled by any gymnasium. To chase the ball at breakneck speed, with a blur of green beneath his feet, is a true life scenario captured first in print by McCammon in his definitive book, "A Boy's Life." To run fast enough that soon the land would separate from the churning limbs and Frodo would soar, higher and higher, into that which separates heaven from earth. To return only when the ball lands softly in the webbing, and the throw must be returned.

Mick, the Wonder Dog, now breathes puffs of vapor as he returns a tennis ball to the hand of his best friend. Eagerly, he anticipates another sprint to that canine land which separates reality from dreams. Frodo knows that ancient athletes are limited by the cold, and that the limp or soreness which begins this day may last for many weeks. That applies especially to Hobbits and Wonder Dogs.

There is however, a sudden sound not unlike that of bat meeting ball, and Frodo wonders if Chipper Jones may have just laced a line-drive through a drawn-in infield? Mick, the Wonder Dog, assumes it to be a rabbit rising from the brush.

A limb falls from an old pecan tree, and Fiona leads the way home. The once-athletes trudge, sullenly, to tasks requiring their attention, but not their dreams.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 11:35 AM EST

Updated: Monday, February 19, 2007 8:58 PM EST

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Thursday, February 15, 2007

And Massachusetts is One Place I Have Seen
Mood:

cool
Topic: "Harry" (2)
He was just a little guy, not much bigger than a Hobbit. He was dark-complexioned, and his slicked-down dark hair was thinning as Frodo now remembers; it was not a distraction at the time. He was, as he indicated, Armenian by birth, and Frodo is ashamed to admit, even today, that actually pointing to Armenia on a map would be a formidable task. For a teenager, it was safe to assume that Armenia was not far from either Greece or Turkey, and Frodo knew where both of those were located. Conclusions such as that were close enough for Frodo, regardless of the subject matter.

Mr. Maranian taught History, doing so in a global context, and often interspersed with an emphasis on particular periods of civilizing peoples in the western world. Looking back, Frodo is disappointed that Mr. Maranian did not spend greater energy explaining the evolution of Middle Earth. It certainly would've made Frodo's writings considerably more intelligible today. His enthusiasm however made Reformations, Renaissances, and Revolutions cast an appearance of relevance which is difficult to even explain to the foundling MBA's currently searching for early wealth and hasty leisure.

He had sacrificed much in order to teach. His convictions were heartfelt, supported sometimes more by the heart than by logic, but Frodo felt the same way, so he came to revere the little man with the flashing eyes and the quick pace across the classroom stage. Harry Maranian was a mighty man and he was not afraid to speak his mind.

Frodo ran for class office one time. His opponent was daunting; intelligent, popular, involved in lots of activities, and he was dating little Janet Perry. Campaigning basically consisted of a limited number of posters and a speech, given in front of all the more than 350 members of the Junior Class. Frodo was given little chance to win, even by Frodo.

Frodo spoke forthrightly, perhaps with a word-by-word emphasis that might have been considered Kennedyesque, for those were the days of Camelot. Frodo drew rounds of applause, and smiles all around as he returned to his seat. Even little Janet Perry smiled at Frodo.

When they returned to the classroom, Frodo and his opponent happened to have the same period class in American History, Mr. Maranian walked in, looked at Frodo and yelled "Vote for Frodo." Frodo flushed, and felt badly for his opponent, but Mr. Maranian was not to be denied. "You stood up, you gave it your best shot, you had good and realistic goals, and it was a darn good speech. Vote for Frodo."

That evening Frodo's good friend, the current Class President, and the guy who had encouraged Frodo to run in the first place, Strider, came by Frodo's home to tell him that he had lost the election. Strider assured Frodo that the count had been very close.

Frodo congratulated his opponent, and waived away the hurt when little Janet Perry made a point of telling Frodo that she had cast her ballot for him. That battle fell to Frodo, and provided him with much greater satisfaction than a term of service and another photo in the yearbook. Harry Maranian would use that challenge many times to Frodo however, telling him that he could always accomplish something if he simply tried as hard as he had in that election.

A few years ago, Frodo learned before his class assembled one more time, that Harry Maranian was dead. It grieved him greatly that he knew nothing about when or how, or that he had never found the opportunity to say "Thank you, Harry." As the group sat in the bar and discoursed over the recalled events of those days, it was Strider who spoke and softly asked, "Do you think he was gay?" Frodo sucked air, for he had never had such a thought, and quite frankly did not, and does not, care.

Frodo only hopes that Mr. Maranian is still proud of Frodo.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:45 PM EST

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Tuesday, February 13, 2007

When You Were Young And Your Heart Was an Open Book
Mood:

cheeky
Topic: "Korea, Korea" (2)
"Ladies and Gentlemen of the White House Press Corps," began the 'Snowman,'"the Secretary of State."

"Thank you Tony, before I take any of your questions, I'd like to announce a major breakthrough in multi-party negotiations with North Korea."

Frodo rolled his eyes at Helen Thomas.

"The Peoples Republic has announced that it will begin to dismember its' nuclear reactor and to totally eliminate all efforts to constitute nuclear weaponry."

Andrea Mitchell's wig nearly fell into Frodo's lap.

"This diplomatic initiative, certainly among the most significant accomplishments of the current administration," and Rice paused long enough for Frodo to whisper to David Schuster, "She means the only," loud enough for the microphones to pick up his words. Slightly flustered, Secretary Rice concluded her comments "is a major step toward ensuring peaceful disarmament in the region."

"Ms. Secretary?"

"Yes, Mr. Frodo," she said as she glared at her adversary and intellectual superior,"what is your question?"

"Madame Secretary, that is certainly a significant public promise, but what exactly do the North Koreans get in exchange?"

"Well, Mr. Frodo, in exchange for 50,000 gallons of oil, and a lifting of any embargo at their main port-of-entry, there were only a few concessions to further the ability of North Korea to care for its' starving people. Now are there any more. . ."

"Excuse me Madame Secretary," said the wary Frodo, "but what sort of concessions EXACTLY?"

Rice's eyes zeroed in on Frodo as if he were a mongoose circling the disturbed cobra. "Well, MR. Frodo, the United States has agreed to provide the North Koreans with certain agricultural supplements. . ."

"What? Like chemicals?"

"No, Mr. Frodo, if you'd let me finish my sentence?"

A chagrined Frodo clammed up long enough for the gargoyle-like stance of the Secretary to swing back to the microphone.

"The United States will provide North Korea with non-chemical additions to their agricultural development program."

"Madame Secretary, just one more follow-up, and I promise to let you move on to the questions sure to emanate from Mr Chris Wallace of Faux News." Frodo smiled at the smirking little weasel.

"Proceed, Mr. Frodo."

"Madame Secretary, I was raised on a farm in the Shire, and for the benefit of others like me, I'm curious as to the nature of these agricultural 'additions,' you mentioned? Can you tell us what exactly we are giving to North Korea?"

"Nebraska."

"I beg your pardon, did you say Nebraska?"

"I believe that was your last question Mr. Frodo," grinned the Vampire, "and I believe Mr. Wallace has a question."

"Yes Madame Secretary I do. Could you tell us where you got those lovely shoes?"

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:10 PM EST

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Sunday, February 11, 2007

Nobody Gets Too Much Lovin' Anymore
Mood:

celebratory
Topic: "Vom Winde Verweht" (2)
Old times are not soon forgotten in the Shire. Nearly every day Frodo is reminded, by a mellifluous reference, to some ancient bygone which lingers, just below the surface. In simpler terms, there is an abiding belief that, sooner or later, justice will be done, and things returned to the way God intended. That is why some people saved "Dixie Cups" every time they went to a soda fountain, for years. Frodo is pleased that there are very few soda fountains, any more.

Otis W. Smith wanted to be a medical doctor, and he had all the tools, except money. About to drop out of Meharry Medical College, he was informed by Dr. Benjamin Mays that an "anonymous donor" had created more than 40 scholarships for Morehouse graduates who were attending Medical School. He went on to become Georgia's first certified pediatrician who just happened to be black. Remembering the generosity of the unknown benefactor, he subsequently created scholarships at Morehouse.

The story does not end there, and that is the reason for Frodo taking note of the passing of this talented, and generous, medical practitioner. You see, dear reader, Dr. Smith found out late in his own life who that mysterious benefactor had been. It was a lady named Margaret Mitchell, who just happened to believe that the black community badly needed a better level of medical care than what was received during her lifetime. If the name sounds vaguely familiar, it should be, because she wrote one of the best books ever written, and she was long reviled for her "glorification" of the "Old South" in the masterful "Gone With the Wind."

Dr. Smith wrote a personal check for $10,000 and submitted the first private contribution for the restoration of Margaret Mitchell's home in downtown Atlanta.

Indeed, dear reader, old times are not forgotten, and that is what Frodo likes about the South. Frodo has not visited that house, but now he thinks it is something he will do. His kind of people lived there.

"Vom Winde Verweht" is the title as translated into German. Frodo first saw the movie, before he had read the book, in Frankfurt in German (without subtitles), and he cried, although a little slower than the German audience.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 7:45 PM EST

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Saturday, February 10, 2007

Down On The Corner, Out In The Street
Mood:

lucky
Topic: "Man For All Seasons" (2)
Three years older than was John Fitzgerald Kennedy, and with more time served in the Congress of the United States than Abraham Lincoln, Barack Obama (D-IL) today officially becomes a candidate for President of the United States. Senator Obama announced his candidacy in the town of Springfield, Illinois. It was a bitterly cold day. The very breath of a nation seemed to blow about and disappear amidst the words of unity and mission.

Frodo has heard enough such announcements, and dreads the fact that, invariably, more are to follow. It is amazing, he thought, what 1400 days of failure since the declaration of "Mission Accomplished" have done to forever alter the balance of power that seemingly worked so well since the Spring of 1865. The apparent deliberate effort to strengthen the Presidency against the other components of government has diluted the confidence of the American people. The Congress is seen as weak and interminably preoccupied with procedure-versus-policy. The Judiciary has become little more than the appointed shill of the ideologue, at least in the mind of the voter. The Presidency itself, is a reflection of a part-time snake-oil salesman who has never gotten a grasp on what exactly he was supposed to be doing. The result is a divisiveness which seems to permeate everything.

That is why Frodo looks up to Barack Obama. There is no consideration for his "ethnicity." Whether he is liberal or conservative is not an issue to Frodo. What does matter is that Obama stood with Senator Robert Byrd (D-WV) and Frodo Baggins when they seemed to be the only inhabitants of Middle Earth who opposed the Pre-Emptive War. There is an air of "statesmanship" as opposed to "politician" about this young man.

Frodo is trying very hard not to paint a messianic portrait of a human being with flaws. Perhaps the analogy is of young Luke Skywalker, guided by the last of the Jedi Knights, to rise to a level of responsibility not sought, but accepted. In this winter of our continuing discontent, it is Frodo's fondest hope that in the spring to come the young man from Illinois will grow wiser still and become even more determined to bring all the peoples of Middle Earth together. Only then will the forces of darkness pull back from the horizon.

Frodo looks forward to the day when differing opinions again become the crux of progress, rather than instruments of divisiveness. If Barack Obama is the one to reach out to each of us, then so be it.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 12:36 PM EST

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Friday, February 9, 2007

Come On And Be My Little Good Luck Charm
Mood:

amorous
Topic: "Astronaughty" (2)
Frodo spent a little time today with the Men of Gondor, and they spent most of the time talking about Anna Nicole Smith, or, more appropriately, the late Anna Nicole Smith. From there the conversation digressed to "Desperate Housewives,""Boston Legal," and other television shows with which Frodo has little awareness other than name recognition. It seems that the premise of all these oft-watched shows is cheap and tawdry sex, even if in an exclusive atmosphere. That, perhaps, explains the easy segue from the late Ms. Smith.

What bothered Frodo afterwards is how quickly attention shifts in this era of instant fulfillment. Not once did any of the Men of Gondor mention a certain Astronautress who had captured attention earlier this week by allegedly attempting to convert a "menage-a-trois" into a more workable zone defense. Clad in a delay preventative adult garment, she motored 900 miles in order to talk sense into her rival. She left behind her soon-to-be ex-husband and three children, in order to properly dispose of the other interest maintained by a male Astronaut with whom she has been maintaining an "adult" relationship. All discussion of this seemingly untoppable behavioral toot has suddenly been halted by the latest, and the deadest.

Frodo is now considering sex in a weightless environment. Were he the producer of a hit TV show like "Desperate Housewives," Frodo would try to weave a show around shenanigans in an environment where the slightest movement would send bodies tumbling uncontrollably through space. Perhaps, he said, there has always been a latent sexuality to the Space Program that we non-participants never actually understood.

"Houston, the Eagle has landed."
"Tranquility base here."
"Roger that."
"That's one small step for Man. . ."

Now take the same words and imagine if they had been spoken by Anna Nicole while a passenger on the Space Shuttle?

"Hello, Mr. Spielberg? Frodo here. I have an idea for a movie. . ."

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:20 PM EST

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