Make your own free website on Tripod.com
Blog Tools
Edit your Blog
Build a Blog
View Profile
« November 2008 »
S M T W T F S
1
2 3 4 5 6 7 8
9 10 11 12 13 14 15
16 17 18 19 20 21 22
23 24 25 26 27 28 29
30
You are not logged in. Log in
Entries by Topic
All topics  «
" Citizen Soldiers" (5)
" Putin' Out" (5)
" Thin Ice"(9)
""I Ain't Got Much" (5)
""Soft Memories" (7)
"$100, Are You Sure?" (5)
"0 Preservative Added"(2)
"105 Minute Workday"(9)
"16 Percent Factor"(3)
"176,000,000 to 1"(8)
"26 Damn Dollars"(6)
"3 Percent Turnout" (2)
"37 Come 11" (5)
"3:10 to Yuma" (7)
"50 Weeks of Reality TV"
"501 (c)(4)"
"54 Pounds" (8)
"8.8 Pounds"(6)
"A Capitol Idea" (6)
"A Code in My Node"
"A Course is a Course"(2)
"A Day At The Beach" (3)
"A Dog Named Bo" (5)
"A Hobbit of an Idea"
"A Man's Army"
"A Patriot Act" (7)
"A Patriotic Act"
"A Perfect World"
"A soldier booed?'(7)
"A Space Odyssey" (4)
"A Taxing Story" (5)
"A Thousand Campfires"(4)
"A Three Hour Tour"(8)
"A Touch of Class"(5)
"A Waisted Day" (5)
"A Woman Scorned"
"A-Train"
"AAARRRGGGHH" (6)
"Aagh,I'll Pay,I'll Pay"
"Abe Wong, of Gondor"(5)
"Act I, Scene I" (8)
"Act I, Scene II" (8)
"Act I, Scene III" (8)
"Adjustable 2nd Card"(3)
"Adjusting Policies"
"Adjusting the Clock"(8)
"Aegean Adventure" (2)
"Ah ah ah Stayin' Alive"
"Airline Highway" (5)
"Alan Scott" (7)
"All Aboard"
"All Bets Are In" (2)
"All Charged Up"
"All Good Things" (4)
"Allah Be Praised" (5)
"Almost Heaven" (2)
"Alpha Dog"(7)
"Alright, Who Did It?"(7)
"Also Sprach Frodo" (4)
"Always Wear Gloves" (3)
"AM Radio Next?"
"America's Toilet" (6)
"American Cemetery"(8)
"An Admission"
"An Apple A Day" (7)
"An Hour A Day" (6)
"An Ugly American"(4)
"Anchorman" (6)
"And the Winner Is" (2)
"Andy Griffith Redux"
"Another Single Woman?"
"Another Three-namer"(5)
"Another Time/Place"(4)
"Anvil Throwin' Time"(8)
"Apocalypse Now?" (3)
"Aragorn" (4)
"Armored Dildos" (3)
"As Far As We Know" (2)
"Ask Ann Landers" (3)
"Assembly LineDancing"(4)
"Astronaughty" (2)
"Atlanta Times Three"
"Augmentation" (2)
"Augustus Agonistes" (5)
"Aurora Borealis" (8)
"Autumnal Observances"(2)
"Avast You Lubbers"(6)
"Baby Doctors (2)"
"Baby Fiona"(7)
"Baby Nathan Yahoo"(10)
"Back Door Basra (2)"
"Back inthe Saddle Again"
"Bad Boys, Bad Boys"
"Bad Time for Bonzo" (3)
"Balance of Nature" (3)
"Balance of Payments"(5)
"Balancing the Budget"
"Ballamer" (4)
"Balls"(10)
"Bang the Drum Slowly"
"Bank Prank" (5)
"Baptists are Pussies"(7)
"Barbed Wire Escape (2)"
"Barbie Banditos" (3)
"Barely Bearble"(7)
"Barely Defensible" (2)
"Barry Me Not (2)"
"Bathroom onna Right"(3)
"Beach Music" (7)
"Because It Is Hard" (4)
"Beechwood 4-5789"(6)
"Belling the Cat" (2)
"Ben McGee" (3)
"Benny and the Jets"(5)
"Berlusconi in Love"(6)
"Best be straight Boy"(5)
"Best Day/Worst Day"(6)
"Best in the South" (5)
"Best in the World?"(5)
"Betray Us" (3)
"Bettah than Etta"(4)
"Better Man" (3)
"Better Than Pong"
"Big Time Sports" (3)
"Big Words,LittleMind"(6)
"Bilbo's Birthday (2)"
"Bilbo's Little Boy"(5)
"Bilbo's Revenge" (5)
"Bill and Hillary (2)"
"Billy World" (2)
"Bimini Babes" (3)
"Bird is the Word" (3)
"Birmingham Jail" (5)
"Birthday Baggins"
"Birthday Buddies" (7)
"Birthday Memory" (4)
"Birthin' No Babies" (3)
"Bishop to King's Castle"
"bitch,bitch,bitch"(6)
"Black Friday" (2)
"Black Gold, Texas Tea"
"Black Hole Blues" (4)
"Black Jack"
"Black Russians" (6)
"Black Widow" (3)
"Blackboard Jungle"
"Blame Game" (3)
"Bleached Bones" (5)
"Blitzkrieg Bellini" (2)
"Blood and Swash" (3)
"Bloopers" (5)
"Blue Christmas" (2)
"Bo's Birthday"(5)
"Bob Sikes' Cut"(9)
"Bob, Bob, Bobbit" (3)
"Bobby, not Ben"(6)
"Bon Air Bellicose" (4)
"Bon Giorno" (6)
"Bona Lisa" (5)
"Bonds-v-Skvara" (3)
"Boo Boo Poo Poo"(9)
"Boromir & Galadriel"(5)
"Bottled in Thyme"(7)
"Bottom Ten"(9)
"Bovine Stem Cells?"
"Boy, I Say Boy"
"Boycott BP"
"Breaker, Breaker" (4)
"Breakin' rules" (7)
"Breaking News" (7)
"Brer Fox (2)"
"Bridge at Andau"(11)
"Bring Back Ross" (2)
"Bring the Bowl"
"Broken News"(10)
"Brother of the Ring"
"Brownback Mountain"
"Brownie Hawkeye"
"Buckwheat Breathes" (2)
"Bumper Sticker"
"Burn Baby, Burn" (3)
"Bush in the Bullrushes"
"Bush Baby, Bush (2)"
"Bush is Chinese?" (2)
"Bush Press Conference"
"Bush-Bashers Be We (2)"
"Bushenomics"
"Busman's Holiday(2)"
"Butt...Butt...Butt" (3)
"Butterflies? Sheesh!"
"Buttermilk Drops" (3)
"Buy a Subaru" (11)
"Buy Stock in America"(6)
"Cabin Fever" (5)
"Cain Not Able" (7)
"Cake in the Rain"
"Cake in the Rain"(3)
"Call Me Ishmael" (3)
"Callista, an Albino?"(7)
"Camp Pleasant" (2)
"Can She Name Them?(2)"
"Can You Hear Me Now?"
"Canaan Conspiracy"(6)
"Candygram" (4)
"Captive Audience"(6)
"Caramel or Carmel?"(3)
"Carolina Cougar(2)"
"Carolina Curmudgeon" (5)
"Cartoon Characters" (3)
"Case of Packy Stann"(3)
"Cash crash crashed?"(5)
"Cat Fight" (5)
"Caterpillar Quandry" (3)
"Causal Relationships"(9)
"Cause It's One, (2)"
"Ceramic s"
"Ch-ch-changin'" (4)
"Change a'comin" (5)
"Change is Good" (5)
"Change?" (3)
"Changin' Channels" (2)
"Chapter 13"
"Chariots of Fire"
"Chariots' a' Comin'"(4)
"Chassahowitzka" (2)
"Chauncey Gardner"(7)
"Checkmate"(5)
"Chemical Alley" (6)
"Cheney of Fools" (2)
"Cherem" (3)
"Chew my Gazebo, Willya?"
"Chief Noc-a-Homa" (3)
"Chingachgook Lives"
"Chipmonkeys Alert (2)"
"Chipper" (6)
"Christian Balls"(10)
"Christian the Lion"(4)
"Christian Valuelessness"
"Christmas Communique"(3)
"Christmas, 1936" (2)
"Chutzpah Hooters" (4)
"Cilled a Bar?" (3)
"Cindy, oh Cindy"(4)
"Citizen Soldiers" (2)
"Clark and Lois (2)"
"Classified Ads are Cool"
"Claymore Gregg" (3)
"Clean Machine" (2)
"Clean up in Aisle 4!"(4)
"Climb It Chains" (8)
"Clinton Cuts" (7)
"Clone Chipper,Please"(4)
"Cockatiel Lounge" (2)
"College of the Shire"(6)
"Colosseum"
"Combat Kelly (2)"
"Come On Baby"(8)
"Come on Down" (3)
"Comin' Clean" (5)
"Comin' Home" (3)
"Commencement (2)"
"Comparables" (6)
"Condi for President" (3)
"Cone of Silence" (4)
"Conflagration" (3)
"Confusion Reigns"(10)
"Congress Goes to War (2)
"Congress' Schmidthead"
"Conspiracy Theory" (4)
"Copy Cat Chinese" (5)
"Country Roads" (7)
"Crawford Convention" (2)
"Crikey" (2)
"Crime and Punishment(2)"
"Crotch Rocket Delite"(4)
"Cult of the Wild"(7)
"Curious, George?"
"Currahee" (5)
"Da Juice Is Back" (3)
"Dad" (5)
"Damages Done (2)"
"Damn Close" (4)
"Damn It To Hell" (5)
"Damn Lies" (7)
"Dandy Dale" (7)
"Danger Will Robinson"(5)
"Danger,Will Robinson"(8)
"Darth Dick" (5)
"Darwin's Company" (4)
"Das Boot"
"Das Ende" (6)
"Date With David" (2)
"Day of Infamy" (4)
"Day-O, Me Wan Go"(7)
"De Tar-Ball Baby" (6)
"Dead Honkey"
"Dearest Bilbo"
"Debits on the Left?" (2)
"Decisions, Decisions"(6)
"Deep and Dark" (5)
"Deep Shiite" (3)
"Degree of Separation"(6)
"Deja 1958 Over Again"
"Deja Who?"(7)
"Delano" (4)
"DevelopmentalStudies"(4)
"Diazinon Ditties (2)"
"Dick Clark Top 10(2)"
"Dimmer Switch" (6)
"Dirty Copter" (4)
"Do They Like Kool Aid?"
"Doctor, Mr. MD"(9)
"Dodged a Bullet"(7)
"Dogmobile" (3)
"Dogs Rule"
"Doing the Right Thing"
"Don't Cut My DSL" (5)
"Don't Feed the Animals"
"Dont Touch That Dial"(6)
"Doofus" (9)
"Doohan's Delight" (3)
"Doris Miller" (6)
"Dorothy Rose" (4)
"Double Deal" (6)
"Doubting Thomases" (3)
"Doug Williams"(4)
"Dover" (4)
"Down Below Back Home"(4)
"Downtown Cardinals"(9)
"Dr. Phil" (5)
"DroughtExitStragedy"(3)
"Dubai-Bye" (3)
"Dueling Banjos" (3)
"Dumb and Dumber" (3)
"Dumb As We Wanna Be"(3)
"Dumber Than Dirt" (3)
"Dumbest Politico (2)"
"Eager Uighurs" (4)
"Early Admission" (8)
"Eight Nine Four" (4)
"Elect Jeff Jackson"(10)
"Elizabeth I" (5)
"Emily Latella Lives"
"Emperor's Clothes" (2)
"End of the Line"
"Ending Sams Patience"(7)
"Engine Uprisin'" (4)
"Ensign Pulver"(5)
"EOTUS" (5)
"Equinox Approaching"(10)
"Equinoxious" (4)
"ERA"
"Escalator Escalatin'"(5)
"ESP" (6)
"Etchings, Anyone?"(5)
"Ethel Merman Lives"
"Eve, It's Oil!"
"Evenin' Govnah" (6)
"Everyday Miracles"
"Evil Thoughts" (3)
"Eye Opener" (3)
"Eyes of a Gorilla"
"Fair is Fare"(7)
"Falcon" (8)
"Fall Ball" (3)
"Fallin' Behind"(11)
"Falling Apart" (9)
"Fargo Felines" (5)
"Fashionable Frodo" (5)
"Father Ed" (3)
"Faux les Bas" (2)
"Female Insurgency (2)"
"Ferengi or Ferangi?" (3)
"Fergit? Hell No!"
"Film at 11"
"Findin' William"(11)"
"Firing US Attorneys" (3)
"First Freeze" (6)
"First Learn to Lose"
"First National Bank" (5)
"First Sentence" (8)
"Five Easy Pieces" (4)
"Float Yer Boat" (4)
"Flower Power (2)"
"Foe Years Old" (4)
"Follow the Money"
"Followin' Ava" (4)
"For More Years" (3)
"Forbidden Fruit"
"Fords and Dads" (2)
"Foreclosure Follies" (7)
"Foreclosure Notice" (6)
"Forest Primeval"(8)
"Form 666" (3)
"Forms For Everything"(6)
"Foundling Fathers"(7)
"Fourteen Years Ago?"(5)
"Fox Views" (3)
"Frack You" (7)
"Frances Died Today"(7)
"Fred's Dead Head" (3)
"Free at Last"
"Free Hidden Telecast"(4)
"Freedom? Hell No" (3)
"Friend by Your Side" (3)
"Friend by your Side" (4)
"Friendly Persuasion" (5)
"Friends of Bill" (7)
"Frist Friends"
"Frodo and Housman" (2)
"Frodo and Jesus"
"Frodo and Revere?"(7)
"Frodo And Truckers (2)"
"Frodo Dissents" (6)
"Frodo Not Foggo (2)"
"Frodo of Arabia(2)"
"Frodo Op" (5)
"Frodo Regrets"
"Frodo Study Group" (2)
"Frodo visits Bilbo"
"Frodo's Almanac"(9)
"Frodo's Bad Day"
"Frodo's Book Club"(5)
"Frodo's Dilemma" (3)
"Frodo's Faux Pas" (3)
"Frodo's Final Four" (3)
"Frodo's Foreign Policy"
"Frodo's Hall of Fame"(4)
"Frodo's Newer Friend"(6)
"Frodo's Retirement"(8)
"Frodo's Revenge"
"Frodo's Revenge"(7)
"Frodo's Solutions" (6)
"Frodo's Xmas Story"(6)
"Frodo, James Frodo" (3)
"Furriners" (4)
"Gainful Employment" (3)
"Galadriel Is No More"(3)
"Gandalf's Challenge (2)"
"Garland Duesenberry" (2)
"Gas Guzzler A-Go-Go"
"Gasp, Wheeze (2)"
"Gay Faux Holes" (5)
"Genarlow de Chariot" (3)
"Genesis Ignored" (3)
"Geneva Accords Redux"
"Geography Lesson" (3)
"George to the Rescue"(3)
"Georgia on my Mind"(3)
"Getting Your Wish" (3)
"Gidget Goes Gondor"(7)
"Gimme Head With Hair"(3)
"Girls Night Out" (6)
"Give 'em Hell, Tom" (5)
"Give Heath a Chance (2)"
"Give Us Your Tired. . ."
"Giving Way to Anger" (2)
"Glenn Frey"(11)
"Glory Days"
"Goin' Home" (3)
"Gondor Goodfellas"(9)
"Gondor Gravitas" (3)
"Good Cop" (7)
"Good Day America" (6)
"Good Friday It Was"(9)
"Good Friday, Maybe"(11)
"Good Ol Mountain Dew"(5)
"Good Son"
"Goodbye Kids (2)"
"Goodbye, Ethan" (2)
"Goodman is Hard to Find"
"Goose Again"
"GOP Convention" (3)
"Gotta Have a Home (2)"
"Grading on a Curve"
"Graffiti Government" (2)
"Great American Hero"
"Great American Hero" (2)
"Greatest Duet Ever"(6)
"Greed is Good"(5)
"Greetings" (8)
"Grissom not Gruesome"(4)
"Groupies for Edwards"(4)
"Guess We Forgot?"(8)
"Guest Workers (2)"
"Guns of August" (7)
"Guts of August" (3)
"Gwinnett Again?" (3)
"Halo, 1,2,3?" (3)
"Ham I Am" (3)
"Handi-Wipes" (3)
"Hang 'em High" (2)
"Hanky Time, Ladies"
"Happens in Threes"(5)
"Happy Anniversary"(9)
"Happy Mardi Gras"(2)
"Harpo Speaks"
"Harry" (2)
"Harry's Bar-Venice" (2)
"Hatfield-vs-McCoy"
"Hawkeye, Redux"(7)
"Haz Mat" (3)
"He Ate the Olive!"(7)
"He is deeply missed (2)"
"He Picks Up Poop?" (5)
"He Took De Bait" (8)
"He's 'Little Ricky'?"(7)
"Healthcare for Frodo"(5)
"Heart Soar Like Hawk"(5)
"Heck of an Engineer"(7)
"Hedge Fund Hippies" (3)
"Heeeerrre's Frodo" (3)
"Heeere's Johnny" (6)
"Heeerrrre's Frodo" (3)
"Hello, Mr. Wilson" (5)
"Hello? Central?" (3)
"Help Wanted"
"Helping Frodo" (4)
"Here Come da Judge" (2)
"Here Come da Judge" (6)
"Here Kitty-Kitty" (4)
"Here Kitty-kitty"(5)
"Here's Help, Now Leave"
"Here's Your Watch" (3)
"Hi Jinx" (5)
"Hide Anythin' Edible"(5)
"High Chair" (2)
"Hobbits And a Truck"(4)
"Hold On Romo" (2)
"Hold the Malaise" (4)
"Homeless"
"Honey Dew List"(9)
"Hopalong Frodo"(9)
"Horn of Africa (2)"
"Horse Latitudes" (6)
"Horsehockey" (3)
"Hosea Can You See" (3)
"Hosea Can You See?" (3)
"Hot Tamale" (3)
"Hotel Plimhimmon"(9)
"HOV or DOA?" (3)
"How Dogs Love Us" (10)
"How Many Delegates?"
"How Many Delegates?" (3)
"How Now Broun Cow"(8)
"Hraka" (4)
"Huckleberry Hound" (3)
"Hund Scheisse CSI" (5)
"Hungarian Answer" (4)
"I Believe in Music (2)"
"I can hope, can't I?"(9)
"I Could Cry" (2)
"I Inspired You?"
"I say it's Spinach. . ."
"I'll Get Back to You"(3)
"I'll Huff and Puff" (4)
"I'll Take a Vowel"
"I'm Baaack" (2)
"I'mSo In LoveWithYou"(7)
"Ides of March Again" (4)
"Ides of Texas" (6)
"IED's in Congress" (2)
"If Frodo Ran The DHS"(5)
"If It Ain't OneThing"(5)
"If the truth be told"(6)
"If You Remember,Then"(6)
"If" (6)
"Imagine,General Newt"(6)
"Imitation of Life" (5)
"Immigration Reform (2)"
"Impregnated"(10)
"In a Galaxy Far Away(2)"
"In a Pig's Eye" (4)
"In Dog We Trust" (10)
"In the Beginning"
"In the Beginning" (3)
"Incomparable Moron" (4)
"Indoor Toilets Rule" (4)
"Intersex Village" (2)
"Interstate Parking (2)"
"Ion Propulsion"(7)
"Iran's Tom Hayden"
"Irish Spring"(3)
"Is it in the Water?"
"Is That in America?" (2)
"Is You da One,Jimmy?"(3)
"Islamic Fundamentals"(8)
"Isn't Amnesty Good?"(3)
"Isn't Change Good?"(6)
"It's A Trap" (6)
"It's Just a Movie"
"It's Just Business"
"Ja, Wir Konnen."
"Jack Crabb" (10)
"Jambo Jumbo" (3)
"Japanese Movie?" (3)
"Je suis Frodo"(10)
"Jefferson Rock" (3)
"Jes' the facts Ma'am"(4)
"Jim Crow" (5)
"Joad Family Reunion?"(6)
"Joad Jobs" (4)
"Joe Soptic" (8)
"Jonestown Redux" (3)
"Jose and Claudia" (4)
"Joshua Generation" (3)
"Just Another Day" (3)
"Just Clearin' Brush"(3)
"Just Desserts (2)"
"Just Desserts" (7)
"Just Say 'Nyet'"(7)
"Just to CU Smile" (5)
"Kandy Kakes 2"
"Ken Meets Jack"
"Key Word Apology" (6)
"Killer's Geraldine" (4)
"Kilowatts Per Mile" (6)
"Kiribati Republic"(6)
"Kirk Saves Nemo"
"Kiss a Girl Goodbye"(2)
"Knew You Not Pompey?"(3)
"Kodak Moment" (2)
"Kool Sailboat" (4)
"Korea, Korea" (2)
"Kudlow's Kreeps"(4)
"Lady of Rohan" (3)
"Land Ho"(8)
"Lean and Hungry " (2)
"Leeward, I Say, Leeward"
"Legs Diamond" (3)
"Legs" (3)
"Leslie" (4)
"Lessons Learned" (2)
"Let Them Eat Cake"
"Let's Bake Cookies" (3)
"Let's Play A Game" (6)
"Letter Home" (6)
"Letter to Lou" (4)
"Liberal Lament" (40)
"Lief, Leaf, or Loaf"(8)
"Life In A Red State"
"Lights of Chicago"
"Like a Barack" (2)
"Limbaugh Hero"(7)
"Lime Bandits" (3)
"Lime is on my side" (6)
"Limestone Cowboys" (3)
"Lip Smackin' Good?"(6)
"Little Big Horn (2)"
"Little Houdini" (5)
"Little Sky"
"Littlest Angel" (2)
"Livin' is Easy?"(7)
"Loans and Deposits" (4)
"Lois, I Never Lie"(8)
"Lonely Avenue" (3)
"Lonesome Frodo" (3)
"Look away Dixieland"(6)
"Look for da Union Label"
"Look Who's Talkin'" (2)
"Lookin' Back, Texas" (3)
"Lost Weekend"(8)
"Low Water, Slow Flow"(3)
"Lox? Or Locks?" (7)
"Lunatic Cattle Call"(8)
"M-G-M Material"
"Ma Bell is Baaack" (3)
"Ma Bell Lives" (7)
"Macaca, Your Macaca" (2)
"Mad Dogs&Englishmen"(6)
"Made You Look" (6)
"Magic Fridge (2)"
"Magic Moments"(7)
"Make Jobs, Not War"(7)
"MaMa's Little Babies"(3)
"Man For All Seasons" (2)
"Man of the Century"
"Man Up, Harry"(6)
"Man's Best Friend?"
"Many happy returns"
"March Forth" (8)
"Marking Time" (3)
"Martyr Magic" (2)
"Marvelous Mac"(8)
"Mary Lee & Genie"(8)
"Master of None" (8)
"MatriculationMadness"(5)
"May Day, Comrade"(7)
"Maynard G. Krebs" (7)
"McCan't"(9)
"Medal of Honor" (6)
"Media is the Message(2)"
"Media Reporting" (6)
"Memories"(10)
"Mental Healthcare" (4)
"Michelle, my Belle"(7)
"Mick's Day"(8)
"Mickey and Me"(6)
"MidSummer Nights Dream"(7)
"Mikileaks" (6)
"Missionary Position" (3)
"Missionary Position" (7)
"Mississipp' Sippin'"(2)
"Mister Roberts" (8)
"Moamar:The Movie"(7)
"Mohair Sam" (5)
"Mon Petit Shoe"(4)
"Monkeys in Mississippi"
"Moody Blue"(7)
"Moody" (7)
"Mooman" (3)
"Moon Over Miami"(4)
"Mooosic" (5)
"Moovin' On Up" (2)
"Mordor or Antarctica?"
"More Than Some" (4)
"Moultrie Poultry" (3)
"Mount Mulch" (2)
"Movin' On Up" (2)
"Mr. Toad's Motorcar (2)"
"Mudbums"(9)
"Mumbai, My Lord" (4)
"Murtha For President(2)"
"N. Leroy" (7)
"Name That Tune"(4)
"Nascaroil" (4)
"Nat King Cole Sucks"(5)
"NCAA---Blech!" (7)
"Nein, nein, nein"(7)
"Never Doubt Bilbo"
"Never heard of him"
"Nevermore"(6)
"New Life, Old Leaves"(4)
"Newest Friend"(8)
"Newman's Own" (4)
"Newt/Mitt '12" (3)
"Next Case" (6)
"Next Door Neighbors" (3)
"NFL Commissioner (2)"
"NFL Trade" (3)
"Nielsen Ratings" (2)
"Nine Months PG" (7)
"Nixon Agonistes" (3)
"Nkosi"
"No Faux News?" (3)
"No Googling Allowed"(4)
"No Humor Today"
"No Peanut Left Behind"
"No Sale" (3)
"No, Not Russian" (4)
"No-No, No" (3)
"Nobody Even Asked"(8)
"Noo Yawk Stateamind"(2)
"Not a Bang,a Whimper"(7)
"Not Funny, Dr Jones"(5)
"Not North Carolina" (6)
"Not Percy Sledge?" (3)
"Not Percy Sledge?"(3)
"Number One" (3)
"Number Please?"(7)
"Number, Please"(8)
"Numbers Don't Lie" (3)
"Numbers Racket" (4)
"Obama Doctrine" (5)
"Obama's Generals"(5)
"October Dreamin'" (4)
"Ode to an Athlete (2)"
"Ogal Preston Crews (2)"
"Oh Kenny Boy (2)"
"Oh the possibilities"(8)
"Oh Ye White Whale" (3)
"Oh, Sadaharu" (2)
"OK Baptist Chorale" (4)
"OkefenokeeArtichokee"(3)
"Old McDonnell's Farm"(7)
"Old Time Baseball"(9)
"Old Times Topic" (6)
"Olympic Changes" (4)
"On Her Code?" (4)
"On Vacation, I'm Sure"
"One Act Play"
"One Down, More Comin'"
"One For the Good Guys"
"One More Round" (4)
"One Orbit of the Sun"(2)
"Only 434 More to Go" (2)
"Op-Ed"
"Opportunity Sox" (3)
"Or the Yellow Peril?"(6)
"Osama Can You See?" (2)
"Our God Is Better" (3)
"Our Town" (5)
"Our Town" (8)
"Out Damned Spot (2)"
"Out of Kilter" (5)
"Out of the Ashes" (4)
"Overdue Books" (3)
"Pace Car" (3)
"Painted Toenails?"(4)
"Panic Attack"(10)
"Pants on Fire"
"Parade of Horribles"(4)
"Part Two" (5)
"Pass the Malais" (4)
"Passion Flowers" (5)
"Past is Prologue" (3)
"Pat bin Laden"
"Patsy for America"
"Peaceful Easy Feelin"(3)
"Peacetakescourage" (3)
"Permanent Vacation" (5)
"Persons of the Year"
"Philadelphia Bunnyface?"
"Philosopher Kings" (4)
"Pickled Cabbage?"
"Picture of Frodo"(5)
"Pilot Wales" (2)
"Pirate Booty"
"Pit Bull Revenge"(4)
"Pius Baloney I" (7)
"Place of Good Abode" (3)
"Plaque 42W, Line 12"
"Play It Again, Sam"
"Play Melancholy Baby"
"Play the Frodo Game"(6)
"Playin' Possum" (3)
"Poland Parole Patrol"(5)
"Polish or Polish?"
"Politics-PulleyTicks"(8)
"Poll Results Just In"
"Poly Sci 101"(9)
"Poor People"
"Pope for a Day" (10)
"Pope-a-Dope" (5)
"Popeil Veg-o-matic"
"Potty Training" (3)
"Power Surge"(9)
"PPSI?"
"Pray for, Gas?" (4)
"Pray With Me Henry" (2)
"Pre-emptive Passages"(2)
"Preemptive Invasion"
"Presidential Erection"
"Problem, Officer?" (3)
"Problem, Officer?" (5)
"Problems?" (4)
"Promises Made" (3)
"Promises To Keep" (5)
"Promises to Keep"(9)
"Proud I Am"
"Proud Walter" (5)
"Proxy Server Error" (4)
"Prudent" (10)
"Psychiatrist,5 cents"(6)
"Pugnacious Maverick"
"Pulitzer Means Squat"(8)
"Punxatawney Bush"
"Puppy Angel" (2)
"Purple Pill Please" (2)
"Putin Tang" (3)
"Qaddafi Wins, For Now"(7)
"Quadrillions?"
"Qualified? Yeah Right!"
"Quayle Hunting"
"Que?"
"Queen of Memphis"
"Queen of the Damned"
"Quittin' Time" (8)
"Quoth the Raven"(7)
"QVC and Dorothy"
"Qwest For Truth (2)"
"Radio and TV"(7)
"Rain, Rain, Go Away?"(4)
"Rainy Day in Georgia(2)"
"Raptor Rapture" (7)
"Read All About It" (5)
"Real Men Don't Shop"(4)
"Rechargin' da Shire"(11)
"Recycled Air (Gasp)" (2)
"Red Sky at Morning" (3)
"Red Sky at Morning"(5)
"Reduced Flow Flush"(5)
"Reimers' Rhymers"(5)
"Remember These?"
"Remembering Jessica" (2)
"Remote Outpost" (7)
"Render Unto Wright" (4)
"Reverend LeRoy" (3)
"Revoltin'Development"(5)
"Rice on Hot Tin Roof(2)"
"Rick Santa Anna"(5)
"Right Not Privilege" (4)
"RNC--2036"(8)
"Road to Damascus"
"Road Trip" (5)
"Roads Scholar" (8)
"Rocket Man"
"Rocket Man" (5)
"Rockets Red Glare" (5)
"Rocks Rox"(8)
"Roger the Dodger"(4)
"Roger Williams Sucks"(2)
"Rooty-Toot" (6)
"Rose Garden Promises"(4)
"Royal Portrait" (2)
"RSVP"
"Rubber Ducky" (2)
"Rubio's Cube"(6)
"Rules" (6)
"Rules" (7)
"Rumblin' Bumblin'" (3)
"Rumsfeldstiltskin" (2)
"Run Eddie, Run" (5)
"Run Far, Run Fast"(7)
"Run Forrest, Run"
"Run, old hare!"
"Runaround Tsu"
"Runs in the Family" (3)
"Rwanda Go Home?"(6)
"S'long Sarong (2)"
"Sabato Knows" (2)
"Sam Shopping" (2)
"San Juan de Capistrano"
"Sandy Hook" (8)
"Santos v. Vinnick"
"Satire-Apology to Mick"
"Sauron Psalms" (2)
"Sauron's Scythe" (4)
"Savin' Gas" (4)
"SAWB" (3)
"Say Cheese"(7)
"Say It Ain't So,Jo"(4)
"Say It Ain't So,Joe" (2)
"School Holiday" (4)
"Science Marches On"
"Scooter" (2)
"Scott Free" (4)
"Sears and Loveaduck" (5)
"Second Line (2)"
"Second of Two" (4)
"Seems Like Yesterday"(4)
"Seems Like Yesterday"(9)
"Seen Any Blue Swans?"(3)
"Selective Service"(8)
"September Twelfth"(5)
"Serendipity Strikes" (3)
"Serge is Working?" (3)
"Serious,For A Change"(6)
"Seven Samurai" (5)
"Sex or Gender?"
"Sexiest Man Alive"(5)
"Shaken, not stirred"(10)
"She is No Ma Kettle"
"Sheep and Museums"
"Sheep in Mindanao?"
"Shenandoah Rangers"(7)
"Shenandoah" (6)
"Shire Sunset"
"Shock and Awe" (4)
"Shoot 'em, Vern"
"Side by Side" (7)
"Sidin' With Anemone"(4)
"Silence of the Lambs"(2)
"Silent, but deadly"(6)
"Simba"(8)
"Sing It Again" (4)
"Sink or Swim"
"Sir A Gut" (3)
"Six Days on the Road"
"Skull and Bones"(4)
"Skunk Cabbage" (3)
"Sleepy Time (2)"
"Slippin' and a Slidin'"
"Sludge Stimulus" (5)
"Small Businesses-Ha!"(6)
"Small Gray Planet"(2)
"Small Victories"
"Smellin' Roses"
"Smirk Jerk" (2)
"Smokin' Pesticide Dope"
"Smoochy Time" (4)
"Snazis" (2)
"Snow Tan"(11)
"Snowed-in"(9)
"Snowiches" (6)
"So Who's Sluggo?" (2)
"Social Security Reform"
"Social Security" (7)
"Socrates and Friends"(5)
"Soldier of the King"
"Soldier of the Storm(2)"
"Solitary Isolation" (3)
"Solving a Problem"(9)
"Somethin' Borrowed"(5)
"Something in Commons"(5)
"Sometimes Life Sucks"(4)
"Sorcerer's Apprentice"
"Soul Train" (5)
"Souter Rules, Dude"
"Southern Ladies" (5)
"Sow's Ear from Silk"(5)
"Space Poop" (3)
"Speechifyin'" (4)
"Speedy Gonzales" (3)
"Spelling, -23" (6)
"Sperm Count" (3)
"Spiro T. Palin" (4)
"Spoonerized" (6)
"Spring Equal Knox" (3)
"St. George" (4)
"Stan & Ollie"(7)
"Startin'fromScratch"(6)
"State Dinner" (3)
"States' Rahts" (3)
"Sticker Shock"
"Stolen Bases" (3)
"Stragedy" (2)
"Stragedy" (8)
"Strangerthan fiction"(6)
"Strip Searched" (9)
"Stupidly" (5)
"Stupor Bowl Sunday"(2)
"Subsidizing Seeds"(6)
"Sunday, Sunday"(9)
"Sunni Daze" (4)
"Supportin' da Troops"(2)
"Supportin' da Troops"(3)
"Survey Says" (6)
"Sweet Georgia Brown"
"Swiss Miss" (5)
"Take a letter, dearie"
"Take It Off Baby" (5)
"Takes a Worried Man"(4)
"Talibanme Banana"(8)
"Talkin' Turkey" (3)
"Tax Driver" (9)
"Taxpayer Assistance (2)"
"Tea Olive" (7)
"Tear Down That Wall"(4)
"Teflon Causes Cancer"
"Ten Cent Coke" (3)
"Tennessee Stinks" (6)
"Term Paper" (5)
"Terminal? Great!"
"Terre Bonne" (6)
"Terrible Swift Sword"(6)
"Terrible Two's" (2)
"Tess of D'Uberville"(8)
"Tess of the Dorghis" (8)
"Texas Exes" (8)
"Thank the Academy"(4)
"Thank You Rand Paul"
"Thank You, Molly" (2)
"Thanks, Dad" (3)
"Thar She Blows"
"That Looks Like Me"(5)
"That's the way it is"(5)
"Thawt Yuze a Toad"(7)
"The 60 Year Struggle"(5)
"The Atlanta Eye" (6)
"The Blue Dog"(11)
"The Boston Massacre"(9)
"The Boys of '63" (8)
"The Brotherhood Begins"
"The Eyes of Texas"
"The Forum" (2)
"The Future is Now (2)"
"The Garden of Good"
"The Good Book" (4)
"The Good Doctor"(6)
"The Great Quixote" (9)
"The Grumpy Dwarf"(9)
"The Important Stuff"
"The Italian Stallion"
"The Litany" (6)
"The Longest Day" (5)
"The Non-Issue" (3)
"The Perfect Storm" (2)
"The Pre-Fellowship"(4)
"The Prophecy"
"The Real Rhett" (4)
"The Second Amendment"
"The Silver Sow Award"(3)
"The Splurge" (4)
"The Turtle" (3)
"The Union Label"(6)
"There is a Virginia" (2)
"They're He-ear" (4)
"Thin Ice, Frodo" (4)
"Third Strike Nuance (2)"
"This Day in History"(3)
"This, Too, Shall Pass"
"Three A.M." (4)
"Three Siblings" (4)
"Three Votes Short" (3)
"Thriller" (9)
"Thunder Road"
"Thy Name be Peace" (2)
"Tie a Yellow Ribbon" (3)
"Tiger By The Tail" (5)
"Time to Cut Brush" (3)
"Time With Friends" (3)
"Times A' Wastin'" (3)
"Title IX Disaster" (5)
"To Arms, To Arms"
"To the Hoop (2)"
"Together Again" (3)
"Tokyo Rush" (5)
"Tom Bombadil isDying"(7)
"Tom Bombadil Returns"(9)
"Tom" (4)
"Top Two Percent" (7)
"Tora Bora Lora. . ." (2)
"Torah, Torah..."(6)
"Toro, Andalay,Toro (2)"
"Touchdown Swabbie" (3)
"Tovarich" (4)
"Tra La,Spring,Tra La"(6)
"Train Wreck"(8)
"Transparency" (4)
"Travel Sucks" (4)
"Tree Fishin' (2)"
"Trees v. Forest"(9)
"Trekking Mount Doom" (2)
"Tripod Hackers?"(9)
"Trojans?"
"Trouble Sleepin'" (3)
"Truckin' for Isaiah" (3)
"Truly,Totally, Nuts"(3)
"Tuesdays with Nancy"(4)
"Tullahoma Tequila (2)"
"Tumbler" (3)
"Turkey Day Walkabout"(2)
"TW3" (3)
"Tweety Pie" (2)
"Twenty to Life" (5)
"Twismas Tunes" (5)
"Twisted Sister" (4)
"Two Americas" (4)
"Two Americas" (9)
"Two Steps Back" (4)
"Two Thousand, Ate" (4)
"Unademdaze" (4)
"Unborn in the USA" (6)
"Unbroken Circle" (7)
"Unconditional Surrender"
"Unconventional, you say?"(7)
"Underdog Shmunderdog"(4)
"Unmarked Grave" (6)
"Untimely Events"
"UR Number Is Up" (7)
"Vacation Brouhaha" (3)
"Vacation Comin'" (2)
"Vandals at the Gates"(2)
"Vat of Chocolate"(6)
"Vero Possumus" (4)
"Veto Shmetoe (2)"
"Vick Drops, Cough!" (3)
"Video Thriller"(5)
"Vinson Can Gogh"(6)
"Virgin Birth" (2)
"Virginia is 4 Lovers"(4)
"Virginia Lovers" (4)
"Vom Winde Verweht" (2)
"Vote for Steve" (2)
"Vote Frodo (Not)"(7)
"W is for Wuss""
"Wait 'til Next Year" (2)
"Wait 'Til Next Year"(2)A
"Walkin' in the Woods"(5)
"Walkin' the Dogs"(8)
"Walkin' the Walk"
"Wall of Libertad"
"War on Middle Class"(2)
"War on Tara"
"Warm Bucket of Spit"(4)
"Was Miers His Attorney?"
"Watch Mr. Wizard" (3)
"Water Into Wine" (11)
"Water into Wine?"
"Watts da plan, Man?"(5)
"Wayne Johnson"(4)
"We Make a Better Day"(5)
"We Sank a Truck"
"We Will Rock You"
"Weather Channel Follies"
"Weddin' Down South" (3)
"Wedding Bell Blues"
"Weeds Way Is Up?"(5)
"Weepy Seepy Peepee"(3)
"Welcome Home, Soldier"
"Well, Duh!"
"Well, Poop"(8)
"West Wing Redux" (2)
"What Goes Around" (6)
"What if JR Shot Back"(9)
"What is a Shimkus?" (2)
"What Mark Felt"
"What Schedule?" (2)
"What Time Is It (2)"
"What We Have Here (2)"
"What Would Mitt Do?"(3)
"What's A Cubit?"
"What's a Sgarbi?" (5)
"What, Me Worry?"
"What, Me Worry?" (3)
"Where Sun Doan Shine"(8)
"Where's Frodo?" (5)
"Where's my puppy?"(4)
"Where's the Beef?"
"Where's the Fire?"(5)
"Whither Frodo?"
"Whitman's Sampler"(6)
"Who Dat Say Who Dat?"
"Who dat?" (2)
"Who did it?" (2)
"Who Torted?"
"Who Was That Guy?" (5)
"Who's In Line?"(6)
"Who's We, White Boy?"(3)
"Whopper"
"Whosdalederofdaclub?"(4)
"Why are you here"?(3)
"Why are you here?" (3)
"Why Black Folks Cheered"
"Wiccan I do for you?"(2)
"Wicked Pickett"
"Wide Stance" (4)
"Will better be?"(7)
"Willard" (7)
"Willie B had heart" (5)
"Winchester Women (2)"
"Wink at the Moon"
"Winter Solstice"
"Wishin' and Hopin'"
"Wither Channels" (5)
"Wither Weather"(9)
"Wither Weather?"(4)
"WMD in the Shire"(6)
"Words To Live By"(7)
"Workin' on Night Moves"
"Worst Candidate Ever"(8)
"Worth Waiting For?"(5)
"Wrinkly,White-haired"(4)
"Write a Letter" (7)
"Writer's Block" (2)
"Wrong Again, Frodo"(3)
"www.arlinbuyert.com"(9)
"Wynot"(6)
"Wyomin' Gloamin'" (2)
"Xmas in Shreveport"(6)
"Yahoo" (4)
"Yankee Humor" (5)
"Yankee Ingenuity"
"Yella Rose a Taxes"(4)
"Yellow Peril" (3)
"Yes, No, Who Knows?" (2)
"You Betcha" (6)
"You Put Your Eye Out"(2)
"You Snake in the Grass"
"You Take the High Road"
"Zimmerman Noted"(6)
"Zinni in Bloom (2)"
"Zounds, Sounds!" (5)
"Zounds, you varlet"(4)
Southern Pine Beetles"(4)
The H Word" (6)
Citizens of Middle Earth
The Fellowship of the Ring
MoveOn.org
The Return of the King
BarackObama.com
Frodo, Keeper of the Ring
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
I Will Never Be The Same Again, I Hear The Whisper Of The Wind
Mood:  cool
Topic: "Ch-ch-changin'" (4)

Harry Truman, noting the return home of men who fought, men who died, and men forever scarred by war, guided the military forces into an equilibrium.  For more than a generation, the rest of American society trailed badly behind the recruitment, training, and development of a multi-racial workforce which followed the American Flag wherever and whenever called.  That realization causes Frodo to remember, as well as regret, many of his words directed at those who dared to describe "light at the end of the tunnel," and "Vietnamization."  Frodo now recognizes accomplishment amidst stupidity.  

This past Monday, more than 100 retired generals and admirals called for repeal of the "Don't ask, don't tell," policy regarding military service.  Their joint statement in part stated, "As is the case with Great Britain, Israel and other nations that allow gays and lesbians to serve openly, our service members are professionals who are able to work together effectively despite differences in race, gender, religion, and sexuality."  In this case, Frodo had no words to regret, so there was absolutely nothing holding him back from standing up and cheering.

Perhaps, and likely it is, that among the 100 or so retired officers there are a sprinkling of black guys.  In any event, it is the military institution itself which leads the way for this, the next generation of national service participation.  Frodo realizes that he is very, very proud of all these changes, and of those who help to bring such change to bear. 

Frodo would go into battle with these guys any day.  The Fellowship of the Ring is much more real today.


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:17 PM EST
Post Comment | View Comments (2) | Permalink
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Take A Letter, Maria
Mood:  special
Topic: "An Ugly American"(4)

Mr. Johnathan Smoot;

Congratulations on your selection as this years' recipient of the Sgt. John A. Jenkins Scholarship.  Your academic and personal accomplishments at the College of the Shire merit both recognition and reward.  Let me assure you that Alumni throughout Middle Earth take special note of your name, alongside that of someone so very special to all of us.

John Jenkins was the nicest boy I ever knew.  He had three sisters, and he learned early on how important it was to respect, and to protect them.  His parents taught him the value of hard work, and for John that was a crucial factor.  For no matter how hard he worked, school work did not come easy for him.  He was athletic, but he always seemed to be the guy who dropped the long pass, or threw the ball out-of-bounds.  He was however, the guy you wanted in your corner if you had to fight your way out of a situation.

As he neared the end of his fifth year, he was notified that his student deferment was to thereupon expire, and he was to report to Basic Training.  It was touch-and-go, right up until the day before graduation, and the strain was on his face and in his heart.  Less than thirty days after he graduated, he was on his way to Fort Benning.

I saw him several months later at the Wedding of one of our Fraternity Brothers, and I walked with him to his car as the happy couple departed.  I told him to be careful, and he said to me, "Frodo, I just hope I do a good job."  

I learned, years later, that in September of 1968, near a little piss-ant of a place called Duc Lap, Republic of South Vietnam, his outfit was engaged by North Vietnamese Regulars in a conflict known as "The Ambushes."  The enemy, according to official military records, threw itself directly upon Sgt. Jenkins position.  Rallying his troops, and utilizing the weapon of a fallen comrade, he led a vicious battle and accounted for numerous enemy casualties.  The battle continued until he ran out of ammunition.

I was a thousand miles away when they buried my friend at Arlington.  I have visited him there, and have an etching from Plaque 47W, Line 12, of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial.  His Mother was presented with the Silver Star, awarded posthumously.  I have held that Medal in my hands.  It is the most expensive thing I have ever touched.  His Mother told me that the only thing that he would have valued more than that Medal was the Diploma he earned at the College of the Shire.

Soon Johnathan, you will share that diploma with Sgt. John A. Jenkins.  He thought so much of it, and I truly believe that he indeed felt that his sacrifice would be worthwhile if it gave you the opportunity to do better.

It is a great gift you have received.  It came at great cost.  I certainly hope that you, too, do a good job.

Semper Fi,

 

Frodo Baggins on Veterans Day, 2008. 


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:09 PM EST
Post Comment | View Comments (3) | Permalink
Monday, November 10, 2008
You Walked Out of My Heart And Into My Dreams
Mood:  sharp
Topic: "Breaker, Breaker" (4)

"Special Agent Frodo, TV Monitor here, I have ROSEBUD skating the hall in her stocking feet just outside the Oval Office."  

"Where is RADIANCE?"

"She is in the kitchen helping herself to the Cherry Vanilla."

"Does RENAISSANCE have control of the situation?"

"Actually Sir, she told me that you were in charge for the afternoon."

"Me?  I'm out here on the South Lawn with a dog that piddles more than Oktoberfest in an Old Folks Home.  It'll be thirty minutes before I get back inside."

"Special Agent Frodo, RENEGADE here, is there a problem?"

"Oh no problem Sir, we just seem to be having a little trouble coordinating our escort assignments for RADIANCE and REDBUD."

"Have they done their homework?"

"Affirmative Sir, and that seems to be the problem.  They got their homework done much faster than we planned, and they have taken off in different directions."

"I was under the impression that you had the same reponsibility for the Bush family, and were therefore quite experienced in situations like this.?"

"That is correct RENE. . .I mean Sir.  It's just that the Bush daughters never finished their homework on time, much less early."

"I see.  And why was that?"

"Well Sir, you have to remember that they were from Texas."

"Special Agent Frodo?  TV Monitor here, I now have ROSEBUD in the bowling alley, all by herself.  RADIANCE is in the War Room playing some sort of computer simulation.  Does that present a problem?"

"TV Monitor, this is the President, would you head to the War Room and disconnect my daughter from any and all systems, right now.  I'll see that we put a parental chip in there as soon as possible."

"What about ROSEBUD Sir?"

"I'll go down to the bowling alley and keep her occupied until Special Agent Frodo gets back from walking the dog."

"Sir, I'm not sure that is a good idea."

"Oh, and why would you say that."

"Sir, she's bowled three straight strikes."

"Sir, TV Monitor here."

"What now?"

"Sir, the dog has slipped his leash and is practicing evasive manuvers on Special Agent Frodo.  He is in hot pursuit, but it now appears that it will be quite some time before Frodo is on-line again. "

"I'm on my way to the War Room, please call RENAISSANCE and request back-up."

SOME TIME LATER.

"Special Agent Frodo?"

"Yes Ma'am."

"Am I to understand that my daughters, collectively, ruined a new pair of socks, ate ice cream an hour before dinner, threw heavy bowling balls around without supervision, failed to walk their dog as they promised, and came close to instituting a thermonuclear war by identifying three unreported Iranian power plants as potential targets for destruction?"

"Well, I'm not so sure about all of that, Ma'am."

"Of which part are you not sure?"

"I think it was a little more than an hour before dinner when the, uh, ice cream, was, uh. . ."

"Special Agent."

"Ma'am?"

"What was your assignment before the White House?"

"I was assigned to the Fairbanks District."

"Fairbanks?  Like in, Alaska?"

"Yes, uh, Ma'am."

"What were your duties at that time?"

"I was on an Intergovernmental Task Force assisting the State of Alaska."

"So you worked for. . .?"

"Yes Ma'am, Governor Palin.  That would be correct."

"Might I ask. . .?"

"I, uh, kept Russia under surveillance."

"So, how did you end up here, in this assignment?'

"The Bush daughters requested me.  I, evidently, was highly recommended by Governor Palin."

THE NEXT MORNING.

"I'm awfully sorry that you'll be leaving us Frodo, it won't be quite the same without you around."

"I appreciate that TV Monitor, but that's the name of the game."

"Where are you off to, this time."

"Well, the orders are sealed for now, but I have overheard the use of a code word."

"And what was that?"

"PAYBACK."

 

 

 

 

 

 


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:52 PM EST
Post Comment | View Comments (1) | Permalink
Saturday, November 8, 2008
That'll Be The Day When I Die
Mood:  don't ask
Topic: "Real Men Don't Shop"(4)

Frodo is not unlike most of his gender; there is order, and there is disorder.  Order exists as long as things continue just as they have always been done, and disorder reigns whenever anything changes.  Sam goes shopping, and that includes the megalith known as the "grocery store."  Frodo consumes that which returns in plastic or in paper.  Given this preamble, all of life should be simple and uncomplicated.

Sam is in recovery, and is forbidden to utilize a motorcar for the next two weeks.  Under normal circumstances, this would be a point of revelry for Frodo.  Unconsumed petrol is an asset these days worthy of entry on Frodo's ledger of accounts.  However, the need for sustenance in the Shire requires that Frodo substitute for Sam, and thereby seek provisions at the 21st Century version of the "general store."  True it is that these centralized placements in every retail mausoleum in America do, indeed, sell anything, and everything.

Frodo is therefore entrusted with a list.  Once he emerges unscathed, at least in this instance, from that which is known as a parking lot, although there seems to be a constancy of unplanned traffic flow throughout, he then takes temporary possession of a cart.  Frodo knows that, within seconds, the complexion of his hands will pale against the light.  Frodo is truly a "white-knuckle shopper," fearing the inevitable consequence of one without patience loosed upon the methodically unreasonable aisles and lanes of that which distinguishes our land from all other civilized nations.

Bread, bacon, milk, orange juice, hamburger, steak fries, lettuce are not generally the kind of items which require participation in a safari.  Frodo is, however, immediately accosted by an elderly person wanting him to sample apple juice.  Although Frodo has a certain fondness for apple juice, particularly when it is offered sans cost, he is irritated by intrusions upon his appointed rounds.  Once he has laid waste to this insurgent, he decides to start the search for those items on his list least likely to spoil or to suffer once removed from their storage unit and placed in Frodo's cart.

Frodo determined that the frozen steak fries should be the last item placed in the cart, logically enough.  For whatever purpose Frodo first found himself in the frozen foods, with steak fries prominently displayed therein.  Fearing that he might not be able to pass this way again, Frodo decided to scrap his original plan and to take advantage of this easy kill.  Amazingly, the milk, juice, and lettuce followed soon thereafter, and Frodo was beginning to feel a certain level of comfort amidst the ladies who insist upon stopping in the absolute middle of an aisle, almost daring the passage of any male on either side.

Bacon is a pork product, is it not?  Why therefore would bacon not be assembled in the meat section alongside anything labeled as "pork?"  While in the general vicinity, Frodo was accosted by another elderly person wanting him to taste her "cracker with cheese."  She was very insistent.  Frodo thinks she was hitting on him.

At last, Frodo had only the "hamburger" on his list, and he had already noted many plastic wrapped piles of ground meat from afar.  Ground "chuck," ground "roast," and something that looked like a "ground ball," once neatly arranged, had been examined, quite obviously, by the entire population of Wasilla, Alaska, during the past thirty minutes.  It took Frodo's real tears to bring a sympathetic response from the "butcher," which resulted not only in the final "kill" of this adventure, but a permanent level of gratitude to the nameless individual who will have a special place in Heaven (right next to Frodo).

Then, the white knuckled mania struck as originally feared by Frodo.  Proud he was that he could enter the "10 items or less  only, checks accepted," line honestly, he noted that there was only one shopper in line in front of him.  Frodo recognized her as one who had parked herself in the middle of the aisle that separated soup from dog food.  Frodo noted the presence of at least 75 items in her cart.  Sensing danger, Frodo began his retreat from the check-out line, only to find himself trapped by the same lady who had blocked the aisle between magazines and greeting cards.  She was reading a copy of "National Enquirer" and did not respond to Frodo's whimper.  Frodo accepted his fate.

The lady in front of Frodo carefully analyzed every keystroke by the smiling check-out lady, that is until the cantaloupe rang up at $1.19 rather than $.89.  The entire function of business in North America came to a halt due to the allegation of an incorrect price by the one person in line in front of Frodo.  The blood disappeared from Frodo's extremities, and he considered making a break for it and running over the miscreant.  The lady required a "price check" (two of the most dreaded words in Frodo's vocabulary).  After an inordinate delay, Frodo cleared his throat, and offered to give the shopper 20 cents if she would merely pass through the system as is, and bring order back into the universe.

Frodo had never before been publicly identidfied as a "Communist."  As he considered the indignity of the allegation, he briefly thought about strangulation, or perhaps a thrashing with a plastic container of milk. 

Eventually, the harpie moved on, and Frodo was greeted by the overly-friendly check-out lady, who noted that she lived in the same subdivision as the Shire, and that she hoped Frodo was having a "good day."  Frodo was speechless.  Hadn't she paid attention?  Hadn't she been humilated by the overweight aisle-blocker?

From his rear Frodo heard the "National Enquirer" reader complain about the "slow-mover" in front of her.

Had there been a United States Marine Corps Enlistment Booth in front of the store, Frodo would have sought enlistment.  He wanted to kill someone, soon.

Get well soon Sam, please. 


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:17 PM EST
Post Comment | View Comments (2) | Permalink
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Tell Me Who, Who Wrote The Book of Love
Mood:  celebratory
Topic: "Frodo's Hall of Fame"(4)

Michael Crichton was 66 years old, and he almost made Frodo pee his pants.  It happened while Frodo was reading "Jurassic Park," and it was a scene that did not recur in the movie.  The T-Rex suddenly appeared at the bottom of a waterfall while the human main course found themselves in a raft at the top of the waterfall.  Frodo supposes all that water may have added to his discomfort.  Frodo can never remember whether the theme of the book was "Life finds a way," or if it was "Nature finds a way."  It matters not, because since the time of Jules Verne, excepting perhaps Arthur C. Clarke, has anyone  been able to excoriate science from fiction with the precision of this surgeon.  Only time separates Man from that which he predicted in his numerous best sellers.

Madelyn Dunham, born in 1927, was, in the words of her grandson, "humble and plain-spoken."  People say much the same thing about the town in Kansas where she was born.  Little has yet been published about the lady who passed away just 48 hours before her grandson was elected to the Presidency of the United States of America.  Her passing was noted even by her grandson's opponent in the historic election.  The whole world shed a tear for someone they knew only as she who took responsibility, and passed it on as a lesson to he who now grieves for his grandmother.

Harold McClendon is an Obstetrician and Gynecologist in private practice in Marietta, Georgia.  He has an infectious laugh, and a bounce in his step.  It probably comes from the joy he brings to so many families when he helps catapult an addition into their care.  Then, again, Frodo recognizes that he may, indeed, simply be a leprechaun.  What merits Frodo's admiration is his skill, and his ability to carry his good nature into situations far less joyful than the miracle of birth.  To note that Sam's birthday was at hand, while reporting an excellent pathological report, is a present that indeed keeps on giving.  Smiles abound.

Some, it seems, make history, and some make the present.     


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:58 PM EST
Post Comment | View Comments (2) | Permalink
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
What's It All About, Alfie
Mood:  quizzical
Topic: "Whither Frodo?"

There is a scene in the latter of the trilogy in which Frodo and Sam are joined by Merry and Pippin in a pub, back home in the Shire.  Amid the celebration, the eyes of these members of the Fellowship meet, one-after-the-other, and, just as quickly, are followed by conscious efforts to avoid contact.  Perhaps it is the moment when they realize that they have confronted the greatest struggle of their lives, and now must part.  It could, of course, contain the simple understanding that change has, indeed, at last, come, and that it will make everything different. 

Frodo, in the chronicle, works tirelessly to complete that which was begun by Bilbo.  Frodo knows that his time grows short, that his wounds are deep and that life must go on in the Shire.  He is being called home.  The stories, he knows, will now always be of things that have already occurred.

The tone, the inflection, in fact the very definition of Frodo must necessarily change now that the Ring has been destroyed.  Sauron will soon be returned to the coffin known as Texas.  All trace of his followers and his surrogates will be removed from monuments, memorials, public buildings, and libraries.  Soon there will be little short of dyspepsia which will even bring a reminder of this evil time to the mind of Man, or Hobbit.

Frodo's journey is far from over, but it will certainly be different.  You are welcome, dear reader, to stay on board.  If you choose otherwise, then Hail, Farewell, and Thank You for your service.  Lord Aragorn is restored to the throne, and Middle Earth will long remember his words:

"Yes we can."

 


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:05 PM EST
Post Comment | View Comments (1) | Permalink
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Get Out Of That Bed, Wash Your Face And Hands
Mood:  bright
Topic: "Followin' Ava" (4)

Quite some time ago, Frodo passed on some information to you, dear reader, about a young woman who was trying to do something about ending the Pre-Emptive War.  She had designed and sponsored a blog entitled "Peace Takes Courage" (www.peacetakescourage.com).  She was desperately trying to do something, anything, to influence if not to deter the conduct of that which still shackles our nation.  Her blog was receiving national publicity and was inspirational to many, like Frodo, who opposed a War for which the case had never fully been made.

Frodo had not visited for quite some time.  Tonight he found that Ava Lowery, age 18, from Alabama, was preparing to vote in her first Presidential election.  Her blog is full of the hope that comes from those who know only how to look forward.  Looking back is anathema to those  who have the vast majority of experience in front of them.  Frodo is envious of the ferocity of Ms. Lowery's desire and the eloquence of her action.  Truth be told, it is for her that this election is so pivotal.

Frodo's eyes well with dreams unfulfilled, and stolen.  He reaches out to those to whom the day to come will be a fulfillment of something that required a lifetime of sacrifice, in order to share in the achievement.  It is to the younger however, that Frodo feels a special sense of obligation.  It is they who must to suffer the costs of a financial burden that will yield them nothing.  Their dreams will be deferred until the bonds are all retired.

Looking forward, Ava Lowery must know that her life will encompass technological change equivalent to Project Apollo.  Energy, economy, environment, education; these are the directions they will follow, and arguments about who pays the most taxes, and who associated with unusual characters are of little relevance.

Relevance?  A word that Frodo remembers well.  He just hasn't used it in a long, long time.  When Frodo looked only forward, he argued for relevance.  Today, he pleads for it.

Cast your vote, young Ava Lowery.  Cheer your champion.  Understand that the work does not end here, it is as formative today as it was when you initiated "Peace Takes Courage."  What you did, and the time you spent, was relevant.  When the last soldier comes home, don't you dare rest on your laurels.  Take what you have learned and open another door.

Thank you for what you do, young lady.  May your champion lead you down a path that is wide and free to walk.  Frodo follows.

 

 

 

   

  


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:25 PM EDT
Post Comment | View Comments (1) | Permalink
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Let's Go, Let's Go, Let's Go Little Darlin'
Mood:  surprised
Topic: "Here Kitty-Kitty" (4)

Eveyone has heard the semi-jest that "To go to Hell, you have to change planes in Atlanta," so it is not surprising that some pretty strange things take place in the confines of Hartsfield-Jackson Airport.  The dialogue which follows is added to the circumstances which usurped all of Frodo's creative juices.  To the protagonist so identified, Frodo says "Trick or Treat?"

"Hello."

"Who is this?"

"This is Willie, in baggage."

"Sir, you are on a restricted channel and are disrupting communications in the Airport Control Tower."

"Hey man, all I know is I dialed 911, cause I got a serious problem here."

"Sir, clear this line immediately, you are endangering flight control operations."

"Listen here sucker, it's either you gettin' me some help down here, or I'm gonna be a hamburger for the biggest damn cat I've ever seen."

"What?  Who are you?  Where are you?  What are you talkin' about?"

"Not so loud man, he might hear you?"

"Who? He? Repeat.  Can I have a supervisor over here, please?"

"Listen, I'm Willie Andrews, workin' baggage, and I jus' opened the cargo hatch on 'dis plane in from Oregon, and here's da biggest damn cat I ever seen."

"So what's. . ."

"Man, he's jes walkin' around like he owns da joint."

"Wait a minute, are you sayin' he's loose?  What kind of cat is it?"

"He's a big cat."

"How big?  Does he have a mane?"

"What's a mane?"

"Sir, this is Flight Supervisor Landers.  Are you reporting a wild animal loose in the baggage compartment of an incoming aircraft at Hartsfield-Jackson Airport?  Are you reporting this as an emergency?"

"What the hell you think I'm doin'?  Calling Roto-Rooter?"

"Hang up now Sir, I will call you back."

"What you got up there, Caller ID?"

"Security, this is Flight Supervisor Landers, please dispatch a Team to the Baggage Area, we have a potential wild animal threat."

"Say what?"

"We have a report by Baggage Handler Willie Andrews that there is a wild feline loose in the baggage compartment of an incoming flight from Oregon.  We are diverting all incoming traffic away until such time as you report back to this station."

"Any description?"

"According to his on-line photo ID, he's male, about 6'2", 255 pounds."

"I mean the 'feline'."

"Oh, negative on that."

"Hello, Mr. Andrews?"

"Nice kitty."

"Mr. Andrews?  Come in."

"Nice kitty, you wanna chew on this phone?  Jes' don't use up all my minutes."

FRODO NOTE:  the one-year-old female cheetah, en route to the Memphis Zoo, apparently got out of her crate while changing planes.  The Delta 757 was brought into a closed hangar and Dr. Sam Rivera, a Zoo Atlanta veterinarian, shot the 90 pound kitty with a tranquilizer gun.  She is doing well in quarantine in the Atlanta Zoo, and will continue her journey to her new home next week.

Willie Andrews has filed for early retirement, and is seeking compensatory damages for both the "roaming charges" which appeared on his telephone bill from AT&T, and for dry cleaning.

 

 


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 11:12 AM EDT
Post Comment | View Comments (2) | Permalink
Friday, October 31, 2008
Saturday In The Park, And Every Day's The Fourth of July
Mood:  a-ok
Topic: "Philosopher Kings" (4)

It was almost exactly two hours from the moment when Frodo and Sam had joined the end of the line, until they were handed their ballots.   Frodo is notoriously impatient, and is widely-known for irrational outbursts when suffering incompetence.  This day however, was very different.

The young man immediately in front of the Hobbits had moved to the Shire a year ago from Seattle, and this was his first voting experience in a non-coastal setting.  About 100 places in line ahead, but only 20 feet away, were a couple of black guys who offered to trade places with Sam for $20.  When they mentioned that they had been in that exact spot 45 minutes earlier, Frodo authorized the beginning of negotiations.  Their good humor told Frodo that he would have to suffer delay, and like it.  Soon, Frodo began to find that he was enjoying himself, and, what's more, so was everybody else.

There was a little boy eating a saltine cracker, which he offered to Frodo from his stroller.  Since he was not yet to a communicative level, Frodo was hesitant to accept such a gift.  Frodo asked him if he knew that he was a part of history, and his mother smiled at Frodo.  She was snapping his picture with a digital camera.

There was a college-aged young lady, reading a best seller familiar to Sam, but unknown to Frodo.  She carried a bookmark which read "Yes We Can."

Frodo returned to his Grisham paperback ("Playing for Pizza") until he was interrupted by the stir all about a talking head from the local Faux News channel who was chronicling the long lines associated with early voting in this, one of six available locations in the county.  Had it been Rachel Maddow or Andrea Mitchell, Frodo would have grinned "that" grin in order to elicit an opportunity to be interviewed.  The reality was that whoever she was, she still appeared to have acne bumps hidden under a Clearisil-colored mountain of make-up.  Frodo turned his attention back to the real people.

The poll workers were both efficient and sensitive.  One grey-haired lady explained exactly where the restrooms were, and how to access them without losing ones' place-in-line.  Another cautioned everyone to "turn-off" their cellphones once they entered the building; the why was not explained, mainly because no one asked.  Frodo didn't care.  Another poll worker asked if anyone were over 75, or had any physical discomfort, and for those who indicated in the affirmative there was an immediate guide provided to the front-of-the line.  No one either complained, or seemed to take any notice whatsoever.  That, dear reader, was what caught the full bore attention of the Hobbit.

Nobody complained.  It was as if everyone knew that this was an important day, and that what they were doing was equally important.  Perhaps, as Frodo surmised, each person there, and in lines just like them in other locations, was moved by something between a sense of history, and a sense of participation.  No one, at any point, ever mentioned a candidate's name, or how they were going to vote. 

Frodo likes to think that he was wise enough to figure out for whom all of those people were voting.  Perhaps he is, but beyond that intellectual arrogance, there rests the knowledge that, for whatever reason, Frodo and Sam had just participated in a plebiscite.  People were determining whether or not, and at what level, civilization and life upon our small, blue planet would proceed against the many challenges we all face this day.  It was this experience which was guaranteed to Frodo by his Uncle "Junior," by Johnnie Jenkins, and by all those who rest beneath marble stones in Arlington and places just like it.

Damn, it was a good day.  Frodo wishes he could vote again.

 

 

 

 

 


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:24 PM EDT
Post Comment | View Comments (1) | Permalink
Thursday, October 30, 2008
I'm Being Followed By A Moon Shadow
Mood:  special
Topic: "Birthday Memory" (4)

Gumbo was a mixed-breed terrier, thrown from a passing car.  The frightened dog spent the next several days hiding from any passing stranger.  Sam was determined that cruelty would be treated with kindness, and did everything possible to encourage the little creature to come out and accept food and water.  Fear is difficult to overcome, and just when it seemed that nothing more could be done, the little dog took the risk of its' life and crawled out to accept Sams' gifts.  Thus was born a relationship of fidelity which lasted well beyond the next decade.

Gumbo may have been small, but she was fearless whenever the perception arose that Sam was under threat.  The most ferocious of snarls and the most ominous of growls would be presented to any stranger approaching too close, or without a proper introduction.  In those days Sam's Mother was very ill with breast cancer, and Frodo was often occupied at Mount Doom, unable to join in the frequent and long trips to the bedside.  Frodo did not fear for Sam's well-being because of the presence of her defender, the tireless Gumbo.  Many was the befuddled wayfarer who offered to pet "the cute puppy," and found himself in the sights of a guided missile, disguised as a dog.

When Frodo's father succumbed, Gumbo joined Frodo and Sam in the long trek to the land of Frodo's birth.  While services were being conducted, Gumbo had to remain in a strange house, all alone, instead of being on active duty at the side of Sam.  While Sam and Frodo were long-delayed at the graveside, Frodo's Uncle "Junior," remembering the little dog, back at "the house," all alone, and probably under severe distress left earlier than most.  The former Marine, wounded at Okinawa, drove back, all alone, in order to free "the cute puppy."  The gentle giant of a Man swept the dog up in his arms and carried her out into the yard.  He stayed with her while she performed her required duties, and the two of them probably talked for quite some time about Frodo and Sam.

When everyone else arrived, the two were now fast friends.  Sam, who worried all the way from the cemetery about how long the dog had been alone, was moved to tears by the two new friends, and the kindness of Uncle "Junior."  For many years after Gumbo's demise, and whenever Sam and Uncle "Junior" got together, they would speak of their tiny friend.  Sam loved Uncle "Junior," as did Frodo.

One-half-an-hour into Frodo's birthday the suffering ended for Uncle "Junior."  Grieve not, dear reader, for Frodo, and the seeming inequity of death borne on the shoulders of celebration.  Frodo will remember this man, every year, on his own birthday, and celebrate a life that Frodo admired as long as he can remember.  Every year, on that date, Frodo will toast Uncle "Junior," and fill a small water bowl for the little dog who walks with him; of this, Frodo is very sure.


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:28 PM EDT
Post Comment | View Comments (2) | Permalink

Newer | Latest | Older