Topic: "50 Weeks of Reality TV"
When September came to the Shire, Frodo knew that he wanted to be the next Bert Parks. The fantasies of a young Hobbit were not wasted on one who sacrificed lust for ethics. Frodo could imagine what the decision-making process was truly like, but only when the Vanessa Williams controversy came to light was Frodo convinced that his fantasies touched upon reality. There was hanky-panky going on somewhere between the swimsuits and the talent portion of the show.
Frodo was distressed to learn that, with less than three months to go, no television network has picked up the broadcast rights for "The Miss America Pageant." Since the television contracts provide $5.8 million of the $6.9 million total revenue for the pageant, it is clear that the whole shebang (pun intended) is severely threatened.
Truth be told, the whole concept has gotten pretty dull, and that is why no network wants to cough up the cash to put on a show that not even Hobbits watch. What is interesting is that Mr. Art McMaster, CEO of the pageant, is promising to rework the entire framework of Miss America in order to adjust to the tastes of the viewing audience. Instead of a once-a-year special, McMaster is proposing several shows, akin to (gag) "American Idol."
Frodo imagines that such an initiative would require a panel of judges, capable of asessing the beauty, grace, talent, and sincerity of each candidate. Much like Paula Abdul apparently does as a judge on "American Idol." Given his willingness to serve when others hesitate, it seems only right that Frodo step forward to volunteer his services. 50 straight weeks is a daunting figure, but Frodo is up for it. Bert Parks, eat your heart out!
With all due respect to the intuition of friend Merry, it is true that Sam is once again, out of town.