Topic: "Help Wanted"
As a public service and in an effort to improve the efficiency of the United States Government, Frodo offers the following WANT ADS, free-of-charge, to the appropriate employer of record.
Chief of Staff, Office of the Vice President, Executive Branch, The White House, Washington D.C.--must be American citizen. Position requires professional compositional experience in fiction. Incumbent must be able to make mountains out of molehills in support of born liar. Incumbent will be expected to discourage journalistic integrity. Prefer individual with sophmoric nickname. No Veterans' preference will be granted to applicants. Position provides transitional opportunity to major government contracting corporate entity. Call 202-212-1112, ask for "Buffalo Bob."
Principal Adviser, Office of the President, Executive Branch, The White House, Washington D.C.--Visa not required. Position requires total absence of personality. Incumbent will be expected to obfuscate the facts regarding any situation. Incumbent will be expected to "stragetize" without regard to morality or other non-essential activities in behalf of American "bidness." Prefer individual who knows all the words to "Melancholy Baby." Position provides frequent travel to rural dude ranch and to staged public speeches in all-white settings. Call 202-212-1111, ask for "Howdy Doody."
Frodo volunteers to compose additional WANT ADS based on the findings of the Special Prosecutor, and the American people, who finally seem to have extricated their collective heads from their butts.