Topic: "Black Jack"
"I don't know that man," said Sauron.
"Mr. President, aren't there a whole passel of pictures of you and him together?"
"Boy, I told you I have my picture taken with lots of people for lots a reasons. I don't remember that fella at all," insisted the smirking Veteran of the Texas Air National Guard.
"Sir, he made sizable personal political contributions to your Presidential Campaign."
"Well, so did lots of good people, all over this country. People who wanted good government, not people lookin' for favors. I have no recollections of ever meetin' him, and we're donatin' that money to a worthy charity," he said while standing under his "Mission Accomplished" banner.
"With all due respect, he has been invited to the White House for several functions since early in your first term."
"Do you have any idea how many people get invited to the White House for a handshake and a photo? I mean, it's not like somebody bein' invited to spend the night in the Lincoln Bedroom, or back at the ranch. I do not know this fella," he argued while wiping the dust off of the frame surrounding Saddam Hussein's personal sidearm.
Press Secretary Frodo paused.
"Well, cat gotcher tongue?," grinned the smirking mountain biker in his Speed-O briefs.
"Mr. President, Jack Abramoff says you invited him to the ranch in Crawford for the weekend."
Sauron paused. Little beads of sweat formed around his narrow lips, and his tongue darted between his teeth as he wrestled with a response.
"Oh, you mean Black Jack? Hell Boy, I thought you were talkin' about one of these Worshington-type lobbyists. Ole Black Jack and me go back a ways cause we both like to play cards. I think he used to call me "the Royal Straight," cause I never cheated anybody."
"Does that mean Sir, that your previous statements on the matter are "inoperative?"
The remaining 18 and a-half minutes of this taped transcript were accidentally erased. The White House has issued a statement suggesting that the erasure was the result of a "terrorist" act.