Topic: "3 Percent Turnout" (2)
This past week thousands of Virginians exercised their rights as free citizens. Most of them sat down and picked their noses, or so it seems to Frodo, and, of course, that is their right. Just ask all those Virginians who risked their "sacred life, honour, and fortune" to frame the Constitution. "If so inclined," said Frodo, "one might also consider those who felt that their rights extended to include secession." It is a truism that Virginia has often been on point in the battle for individual liberty.
Norton is a community of 4,000 located in the extreme southwestern tip of Virginia. It is Virginia's smallest city, and it was founded for the same reason as its' current status; it is a coal-mining town. Pretty much everyone in the community turned out for the "Best Friend Festival," to observe or participate in the bubble-gum-blowing, watermelon-seed-spitting, limbo, or karaoke activities held during the week-long celebration. Coincidentally, an election was held at the same time.
Jim Webb and Harris Miller were the Democratic combatants in the primary held to produce a challenger to erstwhile alleged US Senator George Allen. When the dust cleared and all the votes were counted, Webb emerged victorious. The significance of the victory may pale when statistics revealed that the turnout, statewide, of registered voters was 3%. That, dear reader, is no typo, it was 3%.
Mentioning the City of Norton serves a purpose to Frodo's composition this evening. In Norton, the vote count was 49. Not 49%, no, 49 total, out of 4,000, probably half of whom were at least registered voters.
George Allen is a stumbling, bumbling, fumbling, butt-kissing, tobacco-chewing hypocrite (As the saying goes, "And those are his good points"). Yet, only 49 people could interrupt the "Best Friend Festival" in order to determine his opponent in the Fall Election.
Has Frodo mis-judged the depth of voter discontent with the performance of the Congress of the United States? Or has the energy crisis given rise to the price of coal and added to the complacency of people who enjoy karaoke? According to one Norton resident, Joyce Payne, the answer is a simple one.
"None of that is what is on people's minds here this week. This is just a time of fun and relaxation. Sometimes you have to just chill and relax; people in Washington should try that. Really, it'll lengthen your life."
At this very moment, Frodo truly believes, Thomas Jefferson is trying to clean the boogers off the mantelpiece at Monticello.