Topic: "Nielsen Ratings" (2)
The partially mummified body of Vincenzo Ricardo, 70, of Hampton Bays, New York, was found in a chair in his living room. The chair was located in front of Mr. Ricardo's television set, which was still on, according to authorities with the Suffolk County Medical Examiner. Mr. Ricardo, said Dr. Stuart Dawson, had been dead more than a year. There was no clear evidence of foul play.
It should be noted that, once the television set was turned off, ratings for "The O'Reilly Factor," and Faux News, in general, dropped more than 50% in overnight ratings recorded by A.C. Neilsen. Frodo concludes that this verifies the "Olbermann Theory" that at least half of all regular viewers of the Rupert Murdoch productions are brain dead.
As the title of this submission reads, Frodo can't help but step back from the humor, and contemplate life for an old man, all alone, whose absence is not noted by anyone for over a year. In reality, there are probably a good number of Vincenzo Ricardo's out there, as there surely will be even more in days to come. It is much to think about. Perhaps Frodo will give Bilbo a call this evening; just to check in. Although Frodo is sure that Bilbo will not be watching Bill O'Reilly, there are many like him who rise the bile in otherwise healthy television viewers, and they may be unable to call for help.