Topic: "Gwinnett Again?" (3)
Frodo is particularly cheeky when some of his more bizarre postulates apparently document the validity of his thesis. Such is the case that follows.
Readers will recall the "Runaway Bride," the Bank Robbery Bimbos," and other recent events making national news which all seem to occur in Gwinnett County, Georgia. Located just Northeast of Metropolitan Atlanta, this domicile for white, overweight, conservative Republican refugees from frozen suburbs is a center for controversial human behavior. Named for a non-descript, almost universally anonymous, signer of the Declaration of Independence, Gwinnett County deserves the derision heaped upon its residents. Until recently, Gwinnett County was the largest governmental territory in all of the United States of America without any form of public transportation. Frodo alleges that when one has no public transportation, then one need not worry about "them" coming into your neighborhood. Gwinnett County also consistently re-elects John Linder (R-GA) to Congress, who is, of course, known as the "Father" of the "Flat Tax."
In Frodo's opinion, the only thing that separates Gwinnett County from the other denizens of dementia, aka the great State of Texas, is that the F-150 is the preferred model of pick-up truck parked in each and every driveway as a precondition to residence.
Lisa Lynette Clark, 39, was released from Metro State Prison Friday, on the same day that 1000 copies of her biographical publication "Betrayed: The True Life Story of Lisa Lynette Clark," became available. Two years ago, Lisa Clark became a household name when her marriage to a 15-year-old boy made the rounds of news shows, and brought well-deserved attention to Georgia's quaint laws on the "institution of marriage" (does this sound like a familiar campaign issue to you, too?). Upon release dear reader, can you even vaguely imagine her first destination?
From that gastronomical experience, she reported to a probation office, and answered a few questions from reporters. As a convicted "sex offender," e.g. child molestation, statutory rape, and enticing a child for indecent purposes, Clark also carries a new title upon her return to public life. She is now also known as "Mom." The baby, born in jail, was placed in a foster home, where he still lives, with a friend of her family. The "father," whose name has never been released because he is the victim of a "sexual assault," now lives in (you're gonna love this) Texas. It is important, if not downright unbelievably insane, to note that Clark and the "father" were legally wed on the day before she was arrested.
As you exhale dear reader, Frodo can answer your question. Yes, a convicted sex offender is married to the victim, and they are the parents of a child, and preasumably, they will obtain custody.
Frodo will be surprised if there is much of a run on this new addition to American literature, but he simply had to recite a few lines for your entertainment. Noting her initial attraction to the (lover/husband/victim/co-conspirator, pick no more than two), Clark writes "He was buff with a six pack of abs, cut pecks and big arms. . .".
Also quoted from the book is part of a letter she wrote to the (lover/husband/victim/co-conspirator) which reads "I know we have made some mistakes, but I know we have what it takes. You are my best friend. Until we meet again, I love you baby, so much."
Frankly, thought Frodo, those words could come from the Farewell Address to be delivered by George W. Bush.
Oh, and Frodo almost forgot to mention this. Guess where the happy couple plan to reside?