Mood: accident prone
Topic: "Clean up in Aisle 4!"(4)
The following is based on actual events, only the facts have been slightly changed in order to humiliate the otherwise innocent.
Ken Mifume was very lonely in Wilcox Memorial Hospital in Lihue, Hawaii. Not unlike many of us who spend a measure of our rehabilitation under the care and watchful eyes of those to whom a hospital is a vocation, Mifume appreciated the effort, but he really missed being home. His uncle Donald was concerned because of the length of time that the young farmer would be away from his normal routine. Donald could tell from Ken's discussions that he was particularly worried about the animals who depended on him, and he missed having them around.
Donald Mifume happened to notice a father carrying a puppy into the room of a small boy. While the boy played with his puppy, Donald asked the father about the hospital policy for bringing pets into the room of a patient. He was told that as long as the hospital is notified, and that the visitor takes responsibility for any "mistakes," or the behavior of the animal, then the hospital welcomed the therapeutic visitation. Donald immediately went to the nurses' station and asked permission to bring a pet with him for the visiting hours the following day. With approval in hand, he hurried home in order to make proper arrangements for the big surprise.
Ken Mifume was still sleeping when Uncle Donald arrived at 8 AM with "King Kamehala" in tow. The doctors, nurses, and hospital attendants were busy with everything from "rounds" to breakfast, and no one even took note of their progress through the front door, into the lobby, and to the elevators. When Donald exited the elevator on the 7th floor, "King Kamehala" followed, and that was when anyone first took note of the palomino stallion trooping through the hospital, behind Donald Mifume.
Suddenly, a plethora of voices united to prevent any further incursion of the equine into the room of a patient. Donald tried to assure them that "King Kamehala" was Ken's "pet," and that he was doing only as the hospital had authorized. The attending physician tried to explain to Donald that the authorization was for "house pets," like cats or a dog, but not for a "farm animal." At least two people were overcome and required treatment; the benefit being that they were at least in reasonable proximity of a physician.
Ken Mifume sat up in bed, bemused. Eventually, his eyes met those of his uncle, and he inquired, "Where'd you get the horse?" Donald replied that he found Ken's favorite horse in the pasture in front of Ken's farm. Ken smiled, and asked his uncle to note that this was not a stallion, but a mare, and her name was certainly not "King Kamehala." Ken also noted that the mare, along with several other mares from neighbors' farms, had been in the pasture for quite some time with "King Kamehala" for the purpose of breeding. It quickly became apparent to all that the mare had noted the fact that she was in a hospital, and that this would present her with an excellent opportunity to receive expert maternity assistance.
While the seeming entire staff of the hospital hovered about the delivery taking place on the 7th floor, none seemed to note the arrival, much less the presence, of the Hawaiian State Police. Ken Mifume got up from his bed, and strolled out into the hall to offer assistance to the "gendarmerie." One of the officers told him that they were investigating a report of horse rustling from a local farmer. Ken asked if either of the officers could describe the alleged victim. Neither of the officers laughed.
It took almost all day to get all of the details ironed out. The "spouse" of "King Kamehala," and his offspring, were loaded back into Donald's horse trailer and returned to the pasture from which the mother had been removed. Donald drove. The Hawaiian State Police followed. The attending physician smoked a cigar, and waved as they drove away. Ken Mifume put on his clothes, walked to the nearest bus-stop, and caught an express, without bothering to tell anyone.
It was Tuesday before anybody happened to notice that Ken was gone. Ken Mifume, in case you wondered dear reader, will be representing the State of Hawaii at the upcoming Democratic Party Convention in Denver.
Why are you not surprised?