Topic: "Best be straight Boy"(5)
Cracker Barrel is a restaurant chain headquartered in Lebanon, Tennessee. Those who travel the Interstate Highway System anywhere in the American South certainly have seen their billboards, and nearly all of us have stopped, at least once, in order to empty a bladder and re-charge the colon. The fare is something fried, two or three vegetables, corn bread, and all the sweet tea imaginable. Frodo is a particular fan of the fried okra, while Sam surreptitiously fills a "doggie bag" with every extra piece of corn bread. The prices attracts the local genre as well as the wayward.
The parent company got into a good bit of trouble some years ago when it became public knowledge that not only did they refuse to hire individuals they suspected to have homosexual tendencies, but they were doing their darned best to avoid even serving those with that inclination. The situation was resolved because the American Civil Liberties Union became a grouping of words that do not emanate from certain mouths in Lebanon, Tennessee, without a blasphemy that relates to traditional sex attached. Frodo mentions all of this because of an incident that occurred this past week outside the Cracker Barrel located in Morrow, Georgia, which is about 50 miles, and 100 years, from the Shire.
Based on eyewitness description, and the not-yet-available-to-be-publicly-viewed surveillance videotape, Mr. Troy Dale West, Jr., bumped a military reservist, Tashawnea Hill, and her 7 year-old daughter, while opening the door to the restaurant. When Ms. Hill objected, without further provocation, the considerably larger Mr. West commenced to beat the mortal hell out of her, in front of her child. Ms. West, more than a week later, complains of headaches. Police have charged Mr. West, who happens to be white, with assault on Ms. Hill, who happens to be black, and additionally cited him for racial insults while the beating was taking place. The FBI is investigating the incident as a hate crime.
Interestingly enough, the parent company of Cracker Barrel, after issuing a strongly-worded statement deploring the attack, and prior to any adjudication, decided to act on its own. The company announced that they were banning Mr. West from entering any of their restaurants for the rest of his life.
Imagine that! Looking at a picture of Mr. West, Frodo found himself wondering exactly how this ban would be enforced? Mr. West facially resembles at least 50% of the attendees at the "9-12 Protest" conducted by Fox News. Frodo is convinced that he has seen Mr. West in the stands of every University of Tennessee football game he has ever watched on television. In addition, Frodo believes him to be the crew chief of the racing motorcar driven by Dale Jarrett. Perhaps the Management of Cracker Barrel will start issuing ID Cards.
Considering the facts, Frodo found himself of two minds. Firstly, he could imagine the American Civil Liberties Union now entering the fray on behalf of Mr. West, charging that taking this action prior to the completion of the judicial process might be just a bit premature considering how one might interpret the Fourteenth Amendment, for example. On the other hand, Frodo sees considerable merit to the precedent established by the good folks at Cracker Barrel, and has decided to implement a similar policy applicable to potential visitors to the Shire.
The following individuals are hereby banned from entry to that geography defined as the Shire; George W. Bush, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Newt Gingrich, Joe Wilson, Kim Jong Il, Lisa (the Howler Monkey), Glenn Beck, Roger Ailes, Tony Romo, Paris Hilton, Dick Cheney, Joe Scarborough, Sarah Palin, Michael Vick, Osama-bin Ladn, Ralph Reed, Michelle Bachmann, Charles Krauthammer, Bill Kristol, and Bernie Madoff for starters.
Management reserves the right to refuse service to anyone.