Topic: "Girls Night Out" (6)
Frodo made a suggestion to another member of the Fellowship the other day, and was promptly notified that his ideas are just that, his. Frankly, Frodo had been hoping to entice a dialogue about the changing faces, and figures, of politics in America. What better way to start than to get feminine input to commence the construction of verbs, nouns, and adjectives that will surely flow toward the male of any species who attempts to explain why women are responsible for the pending collapse of the American form of government?
Frodo also notes that it is hot outside, and that his exhausting week at Mount Doom is far from over. That, dear reader, is his defense for not taking the time to document his findings, and thereby explain away the assault on his facts which is sure to follow.
100 years ago there weren't any women in politics. Most women, it seems, were clad in garb resembling the tents today worn by those who fly in-and-out of Heathrow daily from Saudi Arabia in order to shop at Harrod's. Frodo vaguely recalls that the first woman elected to the United States Senate, for example, was the widow of the incumbent from Arkansas who had the temerity to die in office without leaving a planned succession. She, whose name escapes Frodo, as does nearly everything else he ever recalls about Arkansas, became the first of the "weaker" sex to win a direct election into that formerly august body.
When Frodo was much smaller, he recalls the name Margaret Chase Smith, from Maine, who was a Republican, but who, amazingly, seemed to have both a functioning mind and a beating heart (Frodo remembers a single long-stemmed rose lying across the Senate desk once used by John Fitzgerald Kennedy that awful day in November, long ago). Today, to get to the point after that little soiree back in time, there are two women, both directly elected to the Senate, who represent the State of Maine. It is, almost, as if someone has discovered a way to clone the genetic code and produce politicians without any representation of sexual contact whatsoever.
A brief century has passed and now there are two, or is it three yet, female members of the Supreme Court. The Speaker of the House for the first time is a female (although Frodo must confess that he has assigned an occasional reference to Newt Gingrich as a potential for exclusion from the military because of the existence of 'don't ask, don't tell'). Both Senators from California, one from Louisiana, one from Missouri, one from Washington, one from Minnesota, and two or three more up there in those States not necessarily important to Frodo's continuing dialogue, are also female. Add in 'Congresspersons' from New York, California, Florida, Minnesota, and one or two from Tennessee, Texas, and assorted vagabond States, and one begins to wonder if the presence of testosterone isn't programmed into the 'death panels' wherein lie the remains of past representatives.
Now, let us consider the position of Guvnah. After the infamous half-assed performance of Sarah Palin (Sleazebaggers please note that Frodo's reference is to the incumbent having served one-half of her elected term before getting bored or discovering that she would really have to read a book or do real work), Frodo has taken note of Arizona, South Carolina, Michigan, and New Hampshire, among others probably but, frankly, Frodo is getting a little bored himself. Now (gasp) the reactionary homeland of Georgia has something named Karen Handel atilt with a windmill named Nathan Deal for the Republican nomination to replace the inimitable "Sonny" Perdue.
ASIDE: Perdue bears an uncanny likeness to the character named "Curly" in the "Three Stooges," and Frodo cannot help but be reminded of "Larry" when he watches Handel parade about a podium. The Lieutenant Governor, Casey Cagle, completes the triumvirate.
What Frodo truly fears is that the girls all get together, and come on down (sounds vaguely like an old game show, doesn't it?) to help their "sister" overcome the evil Roy Barnes. A damned "slumber party," no less. Imagine Sarah in her nightie, and Michele fixing s'mores, while the feminine Maharajah of South Carolina does her best to entertain a visitor from the Appalachian Trail who thought she would be spending a quality evening with the predecessor thereto.
Frodo has to back off an earlier comment whence he took a cheap shot at Arkansas. True it is that Frodo never thought he would ever miss Wilbur Mills. Ole Wilbur knew where women belonged, and he had his ways and means.