Topic: "Thawt Yuze a Toad"(7)
The scene is priceless to Frodo. Two of three escapees from a chain gang continue their flight to freedom in "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?" with a brief respite in a movie theatre. To their shock they find the third member of their group therein, having rationally assumed that earlier activities had brought about his demise, or at least his transformation. From across the room, one mouths to the third that evil spirits had deemed that he become an amphibian. "We thought you was a toad," he attempts to explain. For some inexplicable reason, Frodo always thinks of Newt Gingrich.
Gingrich slithered up from subterranean locations, reportedly, at the same time that Frodo walked in the sunshine, and the rain, of the City of Orleans and the campus of Tulane University. As a graduate student, Frodo looked down his nose at mere undergraduates, so it is highly unlikely that the two ever shared the same table or drank from the same glass. For some reason however, Frodo has this dark memory of an overweight nose-picker with a plastic package in a shirt pocket who constantly railed about the unfairness of the Black Student Union. Frodo believes that on the day the Students for a Democratic Society (SDS) "took over" the Administration Building in a vain attempt to achieve some measure of social justice, or something, Gingrich got himself interviewed by a local TV station as a "loyal opponent" of the hooligans who chanted from the upper stories. Perhaps, thinks Frodo, he was there, at the very beginning of the Cyclops (played by John Goodman, of course).
No matter, but from the very first recognition thereof, Frodo has assumed that Newt was a toad. Newt, so the story goes, has a fondness for ice cream and beer, at the same time. Facts have likewise been brought to bear that he favors multiple wives, as if they were likewise contemporary servings of ice cream and beer. Later in his story, the Toadster was somewhat grumpy because his seat was too far to the rear in Air Force One, and so he shut down the government, and he took out a "Contract on America," a copy of which he retains immediately adjacent to the lardlike encasement which surrounds his coronary pump.
He also eats flies.
The Toadster has also followed in the footsteps of Richard Outhouse Nixon and changed churches. Outhouse, born a Quaker, became a Methodist, simply because there were more of them, thereby increasing the unthinkable assumption. The Toadster has become a Catholic, just like his third wife, Callista (ain't that a name fit for an amphibian's consort?).
She has to be hard up for money.
The Toadster has announced that he will decide within the next two weeks whether or not he will seek a nomination to the Presidency. Frodo wishes that Newt could run, but everybody, well at least most people, know that a Toad cannot run. It just sort of flops.
That tells you everything you ever needed to know.