Mood:
accident proneTopic: "No Googling Allowed"(4)
"Mr. President?"
"Yes, Special Advisor for Pre-Employment Vetting, Mr. Frodo, what do you need?"
"I screwed up, Sir."
"In what way?"
"Sir, I was absolutely convinced that the former Democratic Leader of the United States Senate, a man with a thirty-year track record in public life, was an absolute 'slam-dunk' as our Secretary of Health & Human Services nominee. I let you down. I let the country down by not pursuing tax issues to the Nth degree. I should have. . ."
"Mr. Frodo, we don't have time to look back and lament our mistakes. We need to learn from them, to go on, and not to repeat them. That includes you, as well as me."
"Thank you, Sir. Do you have any thoughts for me as we begin considering other candidates?"
"Well, in the spirit of cooperation, why don't we continue to look across the aisle? Bob Gates is terrific for the Defense Department, so why don't we look to the Secretary of Health & Human Services, at least on an interim basis, from the Bush 43 White House?"
"Okay. Sir, I can't seem to recall who that was?"
"That's funny, neither can I?"
The President hits his Blackberry and texts Vice President Biden, "Joe, who was HHS Secretary under Bush?"
A courier brings a hand-written message to the President, "Mr. President, the guy's name escapes me. It was a guy, wasn't it?"
"Oh this is ridiculous. Somebody has to know. Can't we just GOOGLE something like 'Bush HHS Secretary'?"
"The computer system has crashed again, Mr. President."
"Again?"
"Mr. President, can't we just call the former President at his ranch?"
"What time is it?"
"Oh right, it's after 10, he's in bed for sure."
"Do ya think Laura would know?"
Silence.
"Where's Cheney?"
"Still at an undisclosed location we believe, Mr. President."
"Frodo, do you think Merry or Eowyn might know? How about Annelle or Papamoka? Sam? Sam would know. Sam knows everything."
"Mr. President, if any one of them knew, they have done everything since then in their power to forget."
"This is unbelievable. Gone less than a month, and nobody can remember the name of a Cabinet Secretary responsible for everything from Social Security to Food Stamps."
"Uh, Mr. President?"
"What?"
"Food Stamps come under the Department of Agriculture."
"Is that right?"
"Just don't ask me to name him, either?"
