The Evil Woman, Hey, Hey, Hey
Topic: "Space Poop" (3)
On the 29th of October, 1978, in Frostbite, Florida, a Space Alien, full of Space Junk Food, defecated on the planet Earth. From those droppings sprung young Travis Henry.
Twenty-eight years later, Travis "Space Poop" Henry is a running back for the Denver Broncos with a $25 Million contract (which computes to a base MONTHLY salary of $50,000). After supposedly attending class at the University of Tennessee (sometimes referred to as "The Kindergarten of the South") where he "majored" in SOCIOLOGY, "Space Poop" was drafted by the Buffalo Bills, and subsequently traded to first the Tennessee Titans and now the Denver Broncos. Along the way "Space Poop" found time to father 9 children by 9 different women in North Carolina, Georgia, Tennessee, Florida, and other states, too numerous to mention. Various judges have ordered "Space Poop" to pay child support in 7 different cases so far.
In an extremely unique ruling, DeKalb Superior Court Judge Clarence Seeliger has noted an inability of "Space Poop" to keep current on mandated child support, and therefore required that he establish a $250,000 trust fund in the name of his now three-year old son. "Space Poop," who is unmarried, "has some concerns and is weighing his options" according to his barrister (Frodo prefers the use of this word as opposed to the more conventional "attorney," simply because it sounds more like "bastard"), Shiel Edlin (Frodo kids you not). His barrister reports that, although he received a $1 Million bonus to sign with Denver earlier this year, "He doesn't have any money. The guy has significant financial issues." The barrister slaving on behalf of the mother of the three-year-old reports that after taxes were subtracted from the bonus, "Space Poop" spent the remainder on a new Mercedes and gold jewelry.
If these facts, dear reader, aren't enough to make you agree with Frodo's depiction of MISTER Henry as "Space Poop," then get this. Under court-mandated custody arrangements, in order to save time, "Space Poop" proposed gathering all 9 children TOGETHER and letting them attend training camp for two weeks with dear, old Dad. Now that would be a families reunion, wouldn't it? Barrister Edlin, acting in support of his client said, "I know these are a lot of kids, and there might be some questions about it, but he's a really committed father."
Dear reader, Frodo does not know Judge Seeliger, but he thinks the establishment of a trust fund, requiring the payment of child support up front, is the solution to a very big problem. If you have a mind, why not contact your State Representative and suggest something similar where you live? Maybe there will be something good to be found in "Space Poop" after all.
In the meantime, Frodo sincerely hopes the Denver Broncos, and the University of Tennessee, go winless in the upcoming season. Not unlike Michael Vick, there is a lot of "reprehensible" behavior out there, and nothing will change until we make them pull up their pants.
Posted by loveysdaddyga
at 12:54 PM EDT
Updated: Saturday, August 25, 2007 1:29 PM EDT