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" Citizen Soldiers" (5)
" Putin' Out" (5)
" Thin Ice"(9)
""I Ain't Got Much" (5)
""Soft Memories" (7)
"$100, Are You Sure?" (5)
"0 Preservative Added"(2)
"105 Minute Workday"(9)
"16 Percent Factor"(3)
"176,000,000 to 1"(8)
"26 Damn Dollars"(6)
"3 Percent Turnout" (2)
"37 Come 11" (5)
"3:10 to Yuma" (7)
"50 Weeks of Reality TV"
"501 (c)(4)"
"54 Pounds" (8)
"8.8 Pounds"(6)
"A Capitol Idea" (6)
"A Code in My Node"
"A Course is a Course"(2)
"A Day At The Beach" (3)
"A Dog Named Bo" (5)
"A Hobbit of an Idea"
"A Man's Army"
"A Patriot Act" (7)
"A Patriotic Act"
"A Perfect World"
"A soldier booed?'(7)
"A Space Odyssey" (4)
"A Taxing Story" (5)
"A Thousand Campfires"(4)
"A Three Hour Tour"(8)
"A Touch of Class"(5)
"A Waisted Day" (5)
"A Woman Scorned"
"Aagh,I'll Pay,I'll Pay"
"Abe Wong, of Gondor"(5)
"Act I, Scene I" (8)
"Act I, Scene II" (8)
"Act I, Scene III" (8)
"Adjustable 2nd Card"(3)
"Adjusting Policies"
"Adjusting the Clock"(8)
"Aegean Adventure" (2)
"Ah ah ah Stayin' Alive"
"Airline Highway" (5)
"Alan Scott" (7)
"All Aboard"
"All Bets Are In" (2)
"All Charged Up"
"All Good Things" (4)
"Allah Be Praised" (5)
"Almost Heaven" (2)
"Alpha Dog"(7)
"Alright, Who Did It?"(7)
"Also Sprach Frodo" (4)
"Always Wear Gloves" (3)
"AM Radio Next?"
"America's Toilet" (6)
"American Cemetery"(8)
"An Admission"
"An Apple A Day" (7)
"An Hour A Day" (6)
"An Ugly American"(4)
"Anchorman" (6)
"And the Winner Is" (2)
"Andy Griffith Redux"
"Another Single Woman?"
"Another Three-namer"(5)
"Another Time/Place"(4)
"Anvil Throwin' Time"(8)
"Apocalypse Now?" (3)
"Aragorn" (4)
"Armored Dildos" (3)
"As Far As We Know" (2)
"Ask Ann Landers" (3)
"Assembly LineDancing"(4)
"Astronaughty" (2)
"Atlanta Times Three"
"Augmentation" (2)
"Augustus Agonistes" (5)
"Aurora Borealis" (8)
"Autumnal Observances"(2)
"Avast You Lubbers"(6)
"Baby Doctors (2)"
"Baby Fiona"(7)
"Baby Nathan Yahoo"(10)
"Back Door Basra (2)"
"Back inthe Saddle Again"
"Bad Boys, Bad Boys"
"Bad Time for Bonzo" (3)
"Balance of Nature" (3)
"Balance of Payments"(5)
"Balancing the Budget"
"Ballamer" (4)
"Bang the Drum Slowly"
"Bank Prank" (5)
"Baptists are Pussies"(7)
"Barbed Wire Escape (2)"
"Barbie Banditos" (3)
"Barely Bearble"(7)
"Barely Defensible" (2)
"Barry Me Not (2)"
"Bathroom onna Right"(3)
"Beach Music" (7)
"Because It Is Hard" (4)
"Beechwood 4-5789"(6)
"Belling the Cat" (2)
"Ben McGee" (3)
"Benny and the Jets"(5)
"Berlusconi in Love"(6)
"Best be straight Boy"(5)
"Best Day/Worst Day"(6)
"Best in the South" (5)
"Best in the World?"(5)
"Betray Us" (3)
"Bettah than Etta"(4)
"Better Man" (3)
"Better Than Pong"
"Big Time Sports" (3)
"Big Words,LittleMind"(6)
"Bilbo's Birthday (2)"
"Bilbo's Little Boy"(5)
"Bilbo's Revenge" (5)
"Bill and Hillary (2)"
"Billy World" (2)
"Bimini Babes" (3)
"Bird is the Word" (3)
"Birmingham Jail" (5)
"Birthday Baggins"
"Birthday Buddies" (7)
"Birthday Memory" (4)
"Birthin' No Babies" (3)
"Bishop to King's Castle"
"Black Friday" (2)
"Black Gold, Texas Tea"
"Black Hole Blues" (4)
"Black Jack"
"Black Russians" (6)
"Black Widow" (3)
"Blackboard Jungle"
"Blame Game" (3)
"Bleached Bones" (5)
"Blitzkrieg Bellini" (2)
"Blood and Swash" (3)
"Bloopers" (5)
"Blue Christmas" (2)
"Bo's Birthday"(5)
"Bob Sikes' Cut"(9)
"Bob, Bob, Bobbit" (3)
"Bobby, not Ben"(6)
"Bon Air Bellicose" (4)
"Bon Giorno" (6)
"Bona Lisa" (5)
"Bonds-v-Skvara" (3)
"Boo Boo Poo Poo"(9)
"Boromir & Galadriel"(5)
"Bottled in Thyme"(7)
"Bottom Ten"(9)
"Bovine Stem Cells?"
"Boy, I Say Boy"
"Boycott BP"
"Breaker, Breaker" (4)
"Breakin' rules" (7)
"Breaking News" (7)
"Brer Fox (2)"
"Bridge at Andau"(11)
"Bring Back Ross" (2)
"Bring the Bowl"
"Broken News"(10)
"Brother of the Ring"
"Brownback Mountain"
"Brownie Hawkeye"
"Buckwheat Breathes" (2)
"Bumper Sticker"
"Burn Baby, Burn" (3)
"Bush in the Bullrushes"
"Bush Baby, Bush (2)"
"Bush is Chinese?" (2)
"Bush Press Conference"
"Bush-Bashers Be We (2)"
"Busman's Holiday(2)"
"Butt...Butt...Butt" (3)
"Butterflies? Sheesh!"
"Buttermilk Drops" (3)
"Buy a Subaru" (11)
"Buy Stock in America"(6)
"Cabin Fever" (5)
"Cain Not Able" (7)
"Cake in the Rain"
"Cake in the Rain"(3)
"Call Me Ishmael" (3)
"Callista, an Albino?"(7)
"Camp Pleasant" (2)
"Can She Name Them?(2)"
"Can You Hear Me Now?"
"Canaan Conspiracy"(6)
"Candygram" (4)
"Captive Audience"(6)
"Caramel or Carmel?"(3)
"Carolina Cougar(2)"
"Carolina Curmudgeon" (5)
"Cartoon Characters" (3)
"Case of Packy Stann"(3)
"Cash crash crashed?"(5)
"Cat Fight" (5)
"Caterpillar Quandry" (3)
"Causal Relationships"(9)
"Cause It's One, (2)"
"Ceramic s"
"Ch-ch-changin'" (4)
"Change a'comin" (5)
"Change is Good" (5)
"Change?" (3)
"Changin' Channels" (2)
"Chapter 13"
"Chariots of Fire"
"Chariots' a' Comin'"(4)
"Chassahowitzka" (2)
"Chauncey Gardner"(7)
"Chemical Alley" (6)
"Cheney of Fools" (2)
"Cherem" (3)
"Chew my Gazebo, Willya?"
"Chief Noc-a-Homa" (3)
"Chingachgook Lives"
"Chipmonkeys Alert (2)"
"Chipper" (6)
"Christian Balls"(10)
"Christian the Lion"(4)
"Christian Valuelessness"
"Christmas Communique"(3)
"Christmas, 1936" (2)
"Chutzpah Hooters" (4)
"Cilled a Bar?" (3)
"Cindy, oh Cindy"(4)
"Citizen Soldiers" (2)
"Clark and Lois (2)"
"Classified Ads are Cool"
"Claymore Gregg" (3)
"Clean Machine" (2)
"Clean up in Aisle 4!"(4)
"Climb It Chains" (8)
"Clinton Cuts" (7)
"Clone Chipper,Please"(4)
"Cockatiel Lounge" (2)
"College of the Shire"(6)
"Combat Kelly (2)"
"Come On Baby"(8)
"Come on Down" (3)
"Comin' Clean" (5)
"Comin' Home" (3)
"Commencement (2)"
"Comparables" (6)
"Condi for President" (3)
"Cone of Silence" (4)
"Conflagration" (3)
"Confusion Reigns"(10)
"Congress Goes to War (2)
"Congress' Schmidthead"
"Conspiracy Theory" (4)
"Copy Cat Chinese" (5)
"Country Roads" (7)
"Crawford Convention" (2)
"Crikey" (2)
"Crime and Punishment(2)"
"Crotch Rocket Delite"(4)
"Cult of the Wild"(7)
"Curious, George?"
"Currahee" (5)
"Da Juice Is Back" (3)
"Dad" (5)
"Damages Done (2)"
"Damn Close" (4)
"Damn It To Hell" (5)
"Damn Lies" (7)
"Dandy Dale" (7)
"Danger Will Robinson"(5)
"Danger,Will Robinson"(8)
"Darth Dick" (5)
"Darwin's Company" (4)
"Das Boot"
"Das Ende" (6)
"Date With David" (2)
"Day of Infamy" (4)
"Day-O, Me Wan Go"(7)
"De Tar-Ball Baby" (6)
"Dead Honkey"
"Dearest Bilbo"
"Debits on the Left?" (2)
"Decisions, Decisions"(6)
"Deep and Dark" (5)
"Deep Shiite" (3)
"Degree of Separation"(6)
"Deja 1958 Over Again"
"Deja Who?"(7)
"Delano" (4)
"Diazinon Ditties (2)"
"Dick Clark Top 10(2)"
"Dimmer Switch" (6)
"Dirty Copter" (4)
"Do They Like Kool Aid?"
"Doctor, Mr. MD"(9)
"Dodged a Bullet"(7)
"Dogmobile" (3)
"Dogs Rule"
"Doing the Right Thing"
"Don't Cut My DSL" (5)
"Don't Feed the Animals"
"Dont Touch That Dial"(6)
"Doofus" (9)
"Doohan's Delight" (3)
"Doris Miller" (6)
"Dorothy Rose" (4)
"Double Deal" (6)
"Doubting Thomases" (3)
"Doug Williams"(4)
"Dover" (4)
"Down Below Back Home"(4)
"Downtown Cardinals"(9)
"Dr. Phil" (5)
"Dubai-Bye" (3)
"Dueling Banjos" (3)
"Dumb and Dumber" (3)
"Dumb As We Wanna Be"(3)
"Dumber Than Dirt" (3)
"Dumbest Politico (2)"
"Eager Uighurs" (4)
"Early Admission" (8)
"Eight Nine Four" (4)
"Elect Jeff Jackson"(10)
"Elizabeth I" (5)
"Emily Latella Lives"
"Emperor's Clothes" (2)
"End of the Line"
"Ending Sams Patience"(7)
"Engine Uprisin'" (4)
"Ensign Pulver"(5)
"EOTUS" (5)
"Equinox Approaching"(10)
"Equinoxious" (4)
"Escalator Escalatin'"(5)
"ESP" (6)
"Etchings, Anyone?"(5)
"Ethel Merman Lives"
"Eve, It's Oil!"
"Evenin' Govnah" (6)
"Everyday Miracles"
"Evil Thoughts" (3)
"Eye Opener" (3)
"Eyes of a Gorilla"
"Fair is Fare"(7)
"Falcon" (8)
"Fall Ball" (3)
"Fallin' Behind"(11)
"Falling Apart" (9)
"Fargo Felines" (5)
"Fashionable Frodo" (5)
"Father Ed" (3)
"Faux les Bas" (2)
"Female Insurgency (2)"
"Ferengi or Ferangi?" (3)
"Fergit? Hell No!"
"Film at 11"
"Findin' William"(11)"
"Firing US Attorneys" (3)
"First Freeze" (6)
"First Learn to Lose"
"First National Bank" (5)
"First Sentence" (8)
"Five Easy Pieces" (4)
"Float Yer Boat" (4)
"Flower Power (2)"
"Foe Years Old" (4)
"Follow the Money"
"Followin' Ava" (4)
"For More Years" (3)
"Forbidden Fruit"
"Fords and Dads" (2)
"Foreclosure Follies" (7)
"Foreclosure Notice" (6)
"Forest Primeval"(8)
"Form 666" (3)
"Forms For Everything"(6)
"Foundling Fathers"(7)
"Fourteen Years Ago?"(5)
"Fox Views" (3)
"Frack You" (7)
"Frances Died Today"(7)
"Fred's Dead Head" (3)
"Free at Last"
"Free Hidden Telecast"(4)
"Freedom? Hell No" (3)
"Friend by Your Side" (3)
"Friend by your Side" (4)
"Friendly Persuasion" (5)
"Friends of Bill" (7)
"Frist Friends"
"Frodo and Housman" (2)
"Frodo and Jesus"
"Frodo and Revere?"(7)
"Frodo And Truckers (2)"
"Frodo Dissents" (6)
"Frodo Not Foggo (2)"
"Frodo of Arabia(2)"
"Frodo Op" (5)
"Frodo Regrets"
"Frodo Study Group" (2)
"Frodo visits Bilbo"
"Frodo's Almanac"(9)
"Frodo's Bad Day"
"Frodo's Book Club"(5)
"Frodo's Dilemma" (3)
"Frodo's Faux Pas" (3)
"Frodo's Final Four" (3)
"Frodo's Foreign Policy"
"Frodo's Hall of Fame"(4)
"Frodo's Newer Friend"(6)
"Frodo's Retirement"(8)
"Frodo's Revenge"
"Frodo's Revenge"(7)
"Frodo's Solutions" (6)
"Frodo's Xmas Story"(6)
"Frodo, James Frodo" (3)
"Furriners" (4)
"Gainful Employment" (3)
"Galadriel Is No More"(3)
"Gandalf's Challenge (2)"
"Garland Duesenberry" (2)
"Gas Guzzler A-Go-Go"
"Gasp, Wheeze (2)"
"Gay Faux Holes" (5)
"Genarlow de Chariot" (3)
"Genesis Ignored" (3)
"Geneva Accords Redux"
"Geography Lesson" (3)
"George to the Rescue"(3)
"Georgia on my Mind"(3)
"Getting Your Wish" (3)
"Gidget Goes Gondor"(7)
"Gimme Head With Hair"(3)
"Girls Night Out" (6)
"Give 'em Hell, Tom" (5)
"Give Heath a Chance (2)"
"Give Us Your Tired. . ."
"Giving Way to Anger" (2)
"Glenn Frey"(11)
"Glory Days"
"Goin' Home" (3)
"Gondor Goodfellas"(9)
"Gondor Gravitas" (3)
"Good Cop" (7)
"Good Day America" (6)
"Good Friday It Was"(9)
"Good Friday, Maybe"(11)
"Good Ol Mountain Dew"(5)
"Good Son"
"Goodbye Kids (2)"
"Goodbye, Ethan" (2)
"Goodman is Hard to Find"
"Goose Again"
"GOP Convention" (3)
"Gotta Have a Home (2)"
"Grading on a Curve"
"Graffiti Government" (2)
"Great American Hero"
"Great American Hero" (2)
"Greatest Duet Ever"(6)
"Greed is Good"(5)
"Greetings" (8)
"Grissom not Gruesome"(4)
"Groupies for Edwards"(4)
"Guess We Forgot?"(8)
"Guest Workers (2)"
"Guns of August" (7)
"Guts of August" (3)
"Gwinnett Again?" (3)
"Halo, 1,2,3?" (3)
"Ham I Am" (3)
"Handi-Wipes" (3)
"Hang 'em High" (2)
"Hanky Time, Ladies"
"Happens in Threes"(5)
"Happy Anniversary"(9)
"Happy Mardi Gras"(2)
"Harpo Speaks"
"Harry" (2)
"Harry's Bar-Venice" (2)
"Hawkeye, Redux"(7)
"Haz Mat" (3)
"He Ate the Olive!"(7)
"He is deeply missed (2)"
"He Picks Up Poop?" (5)
"He Took De Bait" (8)
"He's 'Little Ricky'?"(7)
"Healthcare for Frodo"(5)
"Heart Soar Like Hawk"(5)
"Heck of an Engineer"(7)
"Hedge Fund Hippies" (3)
"Heeeerrre's Frodo" (3)
"Heeere's Johnny" (6)
"Heeerrrre's Frodo" (3)
"Hello, Mr. Wilson" (5)
"Hello? Central?" (3)
"Help Wanted"
"Helping Frodo" (4)
"Here Come da Judge" (2)
"Here Come da Judge" (6)
"Here Kitty-Kitty" (4)
"Here Kitty-kitty"(5)
"Here's Help, Now Leave"
"Here's Your Watch" (3)
"Hi Jinx" (5)
"Hide Anythin' Edible"(5)
"High Chair" (2)
"Hobbits And a Truck"(4)
"Hold On Romo" (2)
"Hold the Malaise" (4)
"Honey Dew List"(9)
"Hopalong Frodo"(9)
"Horn of Africa (2)"
"Horse Latitudes" (6)
"Horsehockey" (3)
"Hosea Can You See" (3)
"Hosea Can You See?" (3)
"Hot Tamale" (3)
"Hotel Plimhimmon"(9)
"HOV or DOA?" (3)
"How Dogs Love Us" (10)
"How Many Delegates?"
"How Many Delegates?" (3)
"How Now Broun Cow"(8)
"Hraka" (4)
"Huckleberry Hound" (3)
"Hund Scheisse CSI" (5)
"Hungarian Answer" (4)
"I Believe in Music (2)"
"I can hope, can't I?"(9)
"I Could Cry" (2)
"I Inspired You?"
"I say it's Spinach. . ."
"I'll Get Back to You"(3)
"I'll Huff and Puff" (4)
"I'll Take a Vowel"
"I'm Baaack" (2)
"I'mSo In LoveWithYou"(7)
"Ides of March Again" (4)
"Ides of Texas" (6)
"IED's in Congress" (2)
"If Frodo Ran The DHS"(5)
"If It Ain't OneThing"(5)
"If the truth be told"(6)
"If You Remember,Then"(6)
"If" (6)
"Imagine,General Newt"(6)
"Imitation of Life" (5)
"Immigration Reform (2)"
"In a Galaxy Far Away(2)"
"In a Pig's Eye" (4)
"In Dog We Trust" (10)
"In the Beginning"
"In the Beginning" (3)
"Incomparable Moron" (4)
"Indoor Toilets Rule" (4)
"Intersex Village" (2)
"Interstate Parking (2)"
"Ion Propulsion"(7)
"Iran's Tom Hayden"
"Irish Spring"(3)
"Is it in the Water?"
"Is That in America?" (2)
"Is You da One,Jimmy?"(3)
"Islamic Fundamentals"(8)
"Isn't Amnesty Good?"(3)
"Isn't Change Good?"(6)
"It's A Trap" (6)
"It's Just a Movie"
"It's Just Business"
"Ja, Wir Konnen."
"Jack Crabb" (10)
"Jambo Jumbo" (3)
"Japanese Movie?" (3)
"Je suis Frodo"(10)
"Jefferson Rock" (3)
"Jes' the facts Ma'am"(4)
"Jim Crow" (5)
"Joad Family Reunion?"(6)
"Joad Jobs" (4)
"Joe Soptic" (8)
"Jonestown Redux" (3)
"Jose and Claudia" (4)
"Joshua Generation" (3)
"Just Another Day" (3)
"Just Clearin' Brush"(3)
"Just Desserts (2)"
"Just Desserts" (7)
"Just Say 'Nyet'"(7)
"Just to CU Smile" (5)
"Kandy Kakes 2"
"Ken Meets Jack"
"Key Word Apology" (6)
"Killer's Geraldine" (4)
"Kilowatts Per Mile" (6)
"Kiribati Republic"(6)
"Kirk Saves Nemo"
"Kiss a Girl Goodbye"(2)
"Knew You Not Pompey?"(3)
"Kodak Moment" (2)
"Kool Sailboat" (4)
"Korea, Korea" (2)
"Kudlow's Kreeps"(4)
"Lady of Rohan" (3)
"Land Ho"(8)
"Lean and Hungry " (2)
"Leeward, I Say, Leeward"
"Legs Diamond" (3)
"Legs" (3)
"Leslie" (4)
"Lessons Learned" (2)
"Let Them Eat Cake"
"Let's Bake Cookies" (3)
"Let's Play A Game" (6)
"Letter Home" (6)
"Letter to Lou" (4)
"Liberal Lament" (40)
"Lief, Leaf, or Loaf"(8)
"Life In A Red State"
"Lights of Chicago"
"Like a Barack" (2)
"Limbaugh Hero"(7)
"Lime Bandits" (3)
"Lime is on my side" (6)
"Limestone Cowboys" (3)
"Lip Smackin' Good?"(6)
"Little Big Horn (2)"
"Little Houdini" (5)
"Little Sky"
"Littlest Angel" (2)
"Livin' is Easy?"(7)
"Loans and Deposits" (4)
"Lois, I Never Lie"(8)
"Lonely Avenue" (3)
"Lonesome Frodo" (3)
"Look away Dixieland"(6)
"Look for da Union Label"
"Look Who's Talkin'" (2)
"Lookin' Back, Texas" (3)
"Lost Weekend"(8)
"Low Water, Slow Flow"(3)
"Lox? Or Locks?" (7)
"Lunatic Cattle Call"(8)
"M-G-M Material"
"Ma Bell is Baaack" (3)
"Ma Bell Lives" (7)
"Macaca, Your Macaca" (2)
"Mad Dogs&Englishmen"(6)
"Made You Look" (6)
"Magic Fridge (2)"
"Magic Moments"(7)
"Make Jobs, Not War"(7)
"MaMa's Little Babies"(3)
"Man For All Seasons" (2)
"Man of the Century"
"Man Up, Harry"(6)
"Man's Best Friend?"
"Many happy returns"
"March Forth" (8)
"Marking Time" (3)
"Martyr Magic" (2)
"Marvelous Mac"(8)
"Mary Lee & Genie"(8)
"Master of None" (8)
"May Day, Comrade"(7)
"Maynard G. Krebs" (7)
"Medal of Honor" (6)
"Media is the Message(2)"
"Media Reporting" (6)
"Mental Healthcare" (4)
"Michelle, my Belle"(7)
"Mick's Day"(8)
"Mickey and Me"(6)
"MidSummer Nights Dream"(7)
"Mikileaks" (6)
"Missionary Position" (3)
"Missionary Position" (7)
"Mississipp' Sippin'"(2)
"Mister Roberts" (8)
"Moamar:The Movie"(7)
"Mohair Sam" (5)
"Mon Petit Shoe"(4)
"Monkeys in Mississippi"
"Moody Blue"(7)
"Moody" (7)
"Mooman" (3)
"Moon Over Miami"(4)
"Mooosic" (5)
"Moovin' On Up" (2)
"Mordor or Antarctica?"
"More Than Some" (4)
"Moultrie Poultry" (3)
"Mount Mulch" (2)
"Movin' On Up" (2)
"Mr. Toad's Motorcar (2)"
"Mumbai, My Lord" (4)
"Murtha For President(2)"
"N. Leroy" (7)
"Name That Tune"(4)
"Nascaroil" (4)
"Nat King Cole Sucks"(5)
"NCAA---Blech!" (7)
"Nein, nein, nein"(7)
"Never Doubt Bilbo"
"Never heard of him"
"New Life, Old Leaves"(4)
"Newest Friend"(8)
"Newman's Own" (4)
"Newt/Mitt '12" (3)
"Next Case" (6)
"Next Door Neighbors" (3)
"NFL Commissioner (2)"
"NFL Trade" (3)
"Nielsen Ratings" (2)
"Nine Months PG" (7)
"Nixon Agonistes" (3)
"No Faux News?" (3)
"No Googling Allowed"(4)
"No Humor Today"
"No Peanut Left Behind"
"No Sale" (3)
"No, Not Russian" (4)
"No-No, No" (3)
"Nobody Even Asked"(8)
"Noo Yawk Stateamind"(2)
"Not a Bang,a Whimper"(7)
"Not Funny, Dr Jones"(5)
"Not North Carolina" (6)
"Not Percy Sledge?" (3)
"Not Percy Sledge?"(3)
"Number One" (3)
"Number Please?"(7)
"Number, Please"(8)
"Numbers Don't Lie" (3)
"Numbers Racket" (4)
"Obama Doctrine" (5)
"Obama's Generals"(5)
"October Dreamin'" (4)
"Ode to an Athlete (2)"
"Ogal Preston Crews (2)"
"Oh Kenny Boy (2)"
"Oh the possibilities"(8)
"Oh Ye White Whale" (3)
"Oh, Sadaharu" (2)
"OK Baptist Chorale" (4)
"Old McDonnell's Farm"(7)
"Old Time Baseball"(9)
"Old Times Topic" (6)
"Olympic Changes" (4)
"On Her Code?" (4)
"On Vacation, I'm Sure"
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"Parade of Horribles"(4)
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"Persons of the Year"
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"Pickled Cabbage?"
"Picture of Frodo"(5)
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"Pit Bull Revenge"(4)
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"Plaque 42W, Line 12"
"Play It Again, Sam"
"Play Melancholy Baby"
"Play the Frodo Game"(6)
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"Poland Parole Patrol"(5)
"Polish or Polish?"
"Poll Results Just In"
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"Potty Training" (3)
"Power Surge"(9)
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"Prudent" (10)
"Psychiatrist,5 cents"(6)
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"Pulitzer Means Squat"(8)
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"Qaddafi Wins, For Now"(7)
"Qualified? Yeah Right!"
"Quayle Hunting"
"Queen of Memphis"
"Queen of the Damned"
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"Quoth the Raven"(7)
"QVC and Dorothy"
"Qwest For Truth (2)"
"Radio and TV"(7)
"Rain, Rain, Go Away?"(4)
"Rainy Day in Georgia(2)"
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"Read All About It" (5)
"Real Men Don't Shop"(4)
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"Red Sky at Morning" (3)
"Red Sky at Morning"(5)
"Reduced Flow Flush"(5)
"Reimers' Rhymers"(5)
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"Road to Damascus"
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"Rocket Man" (5)
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"Roger the Dodger"(4)
"Roger Williams Sucks"(2)
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"Run Forrest, Run"
"Run, old hare!"
"Runaround Tsu"
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"San Juan de Capistrano"
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"Satire-Apology to Mick"
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"Say Cheese"(7)
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"Science Marches On"
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"Selective Service"(8)
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"Seven Samurai" (5)
"Sex or Gender?"
"Sexiest Man Alive"(5)
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"She is No Ma Kettle"
"Sheep and Museums"
"Sheep in Mindanao?"
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"Shoot 'em, Vern"
"Side by Side" (7)
"Sidin' With Anemone"(4)
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"Six Days on the Road"
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"Social Security" (7)
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"Stupor Bowl Sunday"(2)
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"Thar She Blows"
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"Wait 'Til Next Year"(2)A
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"Zounds, you varlet"(4)
Southern Pine Beetles"(4)
The H Word" (6)
Citizens of Middle Earth
The Fellowship of the Ring
The Return of the King
Frodo, Keeper of the Ring
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Signed, Sealed, Delivered, Here I Am
Mood:  special
Topic: "Aragorn" (4)

In the movie "The Return of the King," Aragorn appears on horseback as the army of Middle Earth stands before the Black Gate.  At the same moment, Frodo and Sam battle Gollum above the fires of Mount Doom, in order to destroy the Ring.  Sauron and all his evil forces are massed against the Hobbits, the Men of Gondor, the Riders of Rohan, Elves, Dwarves, and the badly outnumbered fighters from all of Middle Earth.  Aragorn knows that he must buy time for the Hobbit, but the cost will be great, and he must somehow inspire, and lead.  He calls to those who recognize the danger they face and the battle they must fight, with his sword aloft, and his steed in stride, he proclaims "For Frodo."

Perhaps Aragorn was not the strongest, or the most experienced, of those in the Fellowship who gathered with Frodo on his quest.  It was he, however, who picked up the broken Sword and forged, time-after-time, victories afield or in court.  It was not without cost that he rode toward the Black Gate ahead of all the soldiers who followed him against that which challenged Middle Earth.  His ride was, perhaps, in a word, providential.

On the day that Barack Obama will speak before the Democratic Party Convention in Denver, Providence has decided that it will be on the forty-fifth anniversary of a speech given by the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.  In that speech, King stated that "I have a dream today."  He went on to say that he dreamed of a day when the content of character will determine judgment, as opposed to the color of skin.  Frodo could go on and on about words which have driven him over many obstacles, and guided him when he felt lost and alone.  It was as if King's words were meant specifically, for Frodo.  King, perhaps, was giving Frodo time to overcome Gollum, and to destroy the Ring.

Aragorn never speaks the words "For Frodo" in Lord Tolkiens' final book.  The addition of the verbiage in the cinematic presentation is editorial license.  Lord Tolkien, had he felt the need for an inspirational moment, would have probably given Aragorn the words "For Middle Earth."  It is striking however, given the amazing turnabout and results of this particular election, concluding in a concentrated time-frame, that it corresponds to the anniversary of a real "Return of the King." 

Providential.  A very interesting word, and one that Frodo will hold close abreast as events pass before his eyes.  Some things, it seems, are almost meant to be, and coincidence is a word easily dismissed.  Perhaps we are but actors, moved about on a board as pawns and knights.  Frodo may indeed be written into the drama to stand for those smaller, weaker, but ever-willing to serve the common good.  The game will be determined by those who believe, and who join together. 

Frodo will take notes.    



Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:37 PM EDT
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Sunday, June 1, 2008
Goodnight Irene, I'll See You In My Dreams
Mood:  hungry
Topic: "Day of Infamy" (4)

June 2, 1932, dawned like any other day for Mr. George Perry.  One can imagine that the Depression hit hardest for those in farming communities like his in south central Georgia.  If there was no work in a textile mill or on a large farm, then it fell upon him to somehow provide food for his family.  On this particular day, George Perry had it in his mind to catch a "mess" of fish in a nearby farm pond.  What followed from that decision has impacted on the lives of thousands, if not millions, of people ever since.

Seventy-six years ago this Monday, George Perry landed a 22-pound, 4-ounce largemouth bass, arguably what has since become the most sought-after freshwater angling record in the world.  Frodo, in his quest to surpass Mr. Perry, has achieved 7 pounds, 1-ounce in his closest approximation.  Frodo keeps a number of pictures comparing his "lunker" to small dogs, a grown Hobbit, and an ice chest.  Frodo can only imagine equivalent comparisons to Mr. Perry's catch.  Although Frodo has never seen the site of that magnificent event, he understands it to be a rather modest spot, and that no one is really sure what Mr. Perry used for "bait" (although Frodo assumes it was probably a live goat, a la "Jurassic Park").

Frodo has been a generous contributor to the largely-American industry which supplies paraphenalia to assist in the effort to best George Perry.  Frodo has lures that fizzle, pop, go whirl, twirl, sink, float, dive, and fully expects to someday own one which actually flies.  Frodo notes that this singular achievement is, indeed, a world record, and that these American manufactured goods are exported to largemouth bass pursuers in almost every nation in the world.  Saudi Arabia and Iceland are unfortunately not active trading partners with the US of A in this regard however.  What is most amazing about all of this is that a multi-billion dollar industry has grown from the simple fact that a good old boy just went fishin'.

For explainable reasons, Frodo envisions Mr. Perry as looking a lot like Jed Clampett.  Which then raises fond memories of "Elly Mae."

Frodo has been working too hard.  Maybe he needs to go fishin'. 


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 12:15 PM EDT
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Thursday, May 29, 2008
Cast Your Destined Spell My Way
Mood:  chillin'
Topic: "Scott Free" (4)

Motivation is not a subject matter in Frodo's vocabulary.  Although Frodo greatly enjoys the product of motivation, particularly by a group of athletes, he learned a long time ago to never assume that he understands the specifics behind any form of human behavior.   He once heard that there is a "Harvard Law of Behavior," which states that "Under carefully controlled laboratory conditions, human beings behave as they damn well please."  "Who," asks Frodo, am I to argue with anyone from Harvard?  Especially if that individual had anything to do with granting admittance to George W. Bush."

The second of the four Press Secretaries who have served the Incomparable Moron will be on every television channel this day, with the possible exceptions of Animal Planet and the Weather Channel.  The provocative publication, written without the assistance of ghosts or anyone named Bush, is being quoted in part almost everywhere.  From overheard conversations about possible cocaine use to direct prevarication by senior staff, the quotations even unsettle Barney and Laura.  Frodo, as usual, listens with the jaundiced ear of one who recognizes that there are many, and varied, reasons for a shrimpy little guy to write a book.  Not all of the reasons are green.

Frodo has found that, over the years, his athletic accomplishments as a teenager have been magnified, at least in his own mind and recollections.  Perhaps, Frodo supposes, the significance of ones' involvement in matters of great public policy is similarly recalled by those who stood in the hallway or poured the coffee.  By the same token however, Frodo was a pretty good athlete, and big-mouth Texans do tend to brag, publicly.  Could it be that, despite any knowledge of his motivations, Mr. McClellan has chronicled some things that might otherwise never have been viewed in order to shine light on this increasingly dark period in American History? 

Frodo's speculation is that there is substance herein.  He says so because of the nature of the response, at least so far.  Even Katie Couric was able to assemble the incredibly similar verbiage which emanated from Bartlett, Fleischer, and Dana Whatever-her-last-name is.  None of the respondees seemed to "recognize" the guy they knew as the same person authoring something so salacious.  Amazing it was that Karl Rove also used almost exactly the same words. 

With a little less than six months to go before the long national nightmare is pushed aside, and a replacement is identified, Frodo worries about the damage done.  The coming Presidency is not an enviable task.  There are pressures, foreign and domestic, which challenge the very framework of the system itself.  Frodo cannot help but remember how he was reassured, after each of the past two elections, that the "experience" of the winners would work to our national benefit. 

That was, of course, before Scott wrote the book.  Maybe John McCain should read the book before he speaks further about "experience."  

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 1:14 AM EDT
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Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Every Dream Has Only Brought Me Pain
Mood:  not sure
Topic: "Hold the Malaise" (4)

Hillary Clinton is toast.  Gasoline is $4 per gallon.  Scott McClellan has admitted that the War in Iraq had an ulterior motive.  The embodiment of NCLB in Georgia produced a social studies failure rate of over 80% among middle-school-aged children.  And to top it all off, squirrels wreaked havoc in the bird feeders of the Shire during Frodo's absence.

The last time so many things seemed to go wrong for everybody, the speed limit on interstate highways was lowered to 55 MPH.  The President wrapped himself in a sweater, and started talking about some sort of fog that had befallen the American people, and he started inviting great minds to discuss the situation with him at Camp David.  The result being that he received a return ticket to Plains, and some cowboy came into office trying to tell us that ketchup was part of a three-course meal at our nation's schools.

Frodo has been watching, and listening, and he has learned that, for often entirely different reasons, almost everybody is just plain pissed.  Things are getting so bad that Jenna and that Goober she married haven't given any indication that they are going to return to Daddy's tutelage.  According to "News Reports" on the Faux News Channel, the wrong character was even selected as "The American Idol" (Frodo would not know since he is the only Hobbit who has never watched a single episode).  It appears as if the whole world is festering with unhappy souls.

Even in the world of sports, the Tampa Bay Devil Rays have the best record in Major League Baseball, so that means that the overwhelming majority of baseball fanatics are frustrated with their home-town team, and the remainder are going nuts trying to simply locate Tampa Bay on a Rand McNally product.  Frodo believes Tampa Bay is someplace where one can purchase neither homeowners insurance nor find the word "chad" in a Funk & Wagnall's.

Frodo knows that Sauron's power is strong, and that he will do all that he can to keep the ring or to at least ensure its care upon the finger of McCain (that is, if he can wrest the finger from McCain's nose).  "Change" remains as the last great hope for all, if not dear reader, then we may all be measuring each other as being over 60, frustrated with men, and making less than $50K on our Associates Degree (or something akin).


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 1:13 PM EDT
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Monday, May 19, 2008
In a Castle Dark Or a Fortress Strong, With Chains Upon My Feet
Mood:  mischievious
Topic: "Sidin' With Anemone"(4)

Mr. Beau Neau is a magnificent white cat.  After several years of confinement, he found his way to the Shire and promptly put the dog-door to good use.  Fortunately, the Shire provides both a barrier and protection to those who wander beneath the azaleas and amidst the English Ivy.  Thus Mr. Beau Neau patrols the edges of the territory in exactly the same manner as do his larger, less domestic, feline relatives on continents beyond Middle Earth.  Watching him patrol the fenced border is something that the folks at "Animal Planet" would find worthy of a Sunday afternoon special broadcast.  He is however, not a pure denizen to the potential prey at his disposal, for he also participates in the marvelous symbiosis of life in the slow lane.

Frodo has several artifical residences for the songbirds, which is an acceptable supplement to the natural environs subscribed to by most.  In all likelihood, it is chickadees, wrens, and titmice who seem to eventually try Frodo's offerings, and to raise families in his rental units.  While examining one of the boxes with a quick one-eyed stare, Frodo happened to note light colors in the darkness.  Subsequently, once he was sure that the inhabitants had vacated the premises, Frodo opened the box in order to closely examine the nest therein.  What he found was cat fur, white cat fur, completely lining the nest as insulation for the most recent entrants into the wide world of life in the Shire.

Frodo initiated an examination of all the bird boxes in the Shire, and, sure enough, he found at least some white cat fur in each of them.  The titmice tended to best utilize the cat fur, with the wrens showing some, but not much, use for the excess, shall we say, couture of Mr. Beau Neau.  Frodo could not help but recall the several consecutive years in which the fur of his dear, departed, gentle Lovey (surrogate mother of Mick, the Wonder Dog), appeared in bird nests.  Marveled Frodo however, that he had never seen cat fur used in such a manner.

Frodo could not help but note that Mr. Beau Neau seemed to raise his nose and head off in the direction of each of the subject bird boxes at some point during his observations.  Perhaps, thought Frodo, the noble feline is merely exercising his dominion over his territory.  Then again, the craven homocidal maniac may have laid out excess fur for the purpose of providing himself with a stocked hunting supply. 

Perhaps Frodo and Sam may consider changing his name to "Dick Cheney."

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:00 PM EDT
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Saturday, May 17, 2008
A Time to Every Purpose Under Heaven
Mood:  caffeinated
Topic: "Letter to Lou" (4)

Dear Mr. Lou Dobbs,

   Frodo is a very big fan, especially when you lambaste the stupidity of the Bush Administration.  Frodo does have to admit however, that you become very tiresome dealing with the same issue over-and-over-and-over.  Frodo appreciates the business approach taken to analyze the machinations of government, but feels that you sometimes overlook the trees in the forest by constantly viewing situations from a single perspective.  Respectfully Lou, please read the following as an example, because friend Frodo thinks he makes a very important point.

   As you know, mortgages are something relatively new in Mexico, since most homes were either inherited, or built by hand.  In 2000, the Mexican government began an active promotion of home loans through government agencies in order to stimulate the housing industry.  Slowly, traditional bank mortgages became more accessible as interest rates fell.  At this point, analysts now estimate that Mexico has a housing shortage of about 4 million homes.  The Mexican government is planning for a miilion housing starts annually over the next four years.  The goal is to double the present housing inventory by the year 2030.  This, friend Lou, means that there is a need for workers trained in new-home construction, in Mexico.

   Perhaps Frodo's point is swiftly becoming evident.  From where are so many skilled workers going to come?  In the United States, where there is a virtual shut-down of new-home construction, with sufficient inventory completed to meet all projected demand for up to five years, there are thousands, if not millions, of immigrants from Mexico who have been working, many illegally, in new-home construction, who are now unable to find jobs.  That, kind Sir, is what you've been telling us, night-after-night-after-night.  The jobs are now back in their homeland, and that is where they are bound to go, at least in Frodo's opinion.

   "Nice theory Mr. Frodo, but how do you know this?," you ask.  Well Lou, take a look at the current financials of a little old company based here in Atlanta; you know it, it's Home Depot.  Home Depot, since it opened its first retail location in Mexico seven years ago, now has 69 stores in Mexico, and is planning to open 9, or more, this year alone.  At the same time, Home Depot has announced the closing of 15 stores in the US.  Home Depot, as Frodo is sure you know, makes most of its money from the sale of building materials for residential purposes.  At the same time, Home Depot's biggest competitor, Lowe's, has announced plans to open five stores in the City of Monterey by the end of next year.

   What this means Mr. Dobbs, is that a lot of those people you've been so concerned about are going to disappear from our borders.  They are going to go home, build desperately-needed housing, raise families, and become consumers.  They will likely significantly increase living standards in Mexico, and perhaps the next trips they take across the border into our country will be to purchase the goods and services we sell to them.

   Now that you've thought about it, aren't you glad we didn't put 12 million people in jail?

   Sometimes, Mr. Dobbs, patience is a virtue.

Your friend and admirer,


Frodo Baggins                                                                        

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:08 AM EDT
Updated: Saturday, May 17, 2008 10:09 AM EDT
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Thursday, May 15, 2008
No Matter Who You Are, No Matter Where You've Been
Mood:  party time!
Topic: "Shock and Awe" (4)

Constable Wayne Burnett of Alice Springs, in the "Land Down Under," recently exhibited a level of naivete which inspired the creative juices in friend Frodo.  The Constable ticketed the driver of a car he pulled over, subsequently resulting in a $710 fine, after noting that the front passenger seat had the seat belt securely wrapped around a case of beer.   At the same time, the driver's 5-year-old child was bouncing along on the floorboard.  Constable Burnett stated that he was "shocked and appalled," adding that this was the "first time that the beer has taken priority over a child."

"Well, exxxxccccuuuuusssse me!," said Frodo.  This was a straight line which could not pass undetected.

"Jenna, this is Dad."

"Hi Dad, wasssup?"

"Honey, could you slip on down to the 7-11 and get your old Dad a six-pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon?"

"Why me?  Why not send one of the Agents out to get it for ya?"

"Now you know how your Mother is.  She checks their logs to make sure I'm not sending them out to the liquor store like I did back in Texshish."

"Daddy, me and Harold just got hitched, and he's over there making googly eyes at me, and I am his wife now, y'know."

"Well, just tell him to put a sock on it while you do a favor for your dear ole Dad.  It'll only take a few minutes, and besides, I don't want him messin' around with 'my little girl' anyways."


"Oh, tell ya what, why not pick up a couple of six-packs and keep one for you two?"

"Can I put it on your account?  I mean things are a little tight for us newly-weds, y'know."

"Of course, I understand these things.  I remember what it was like before the Trust Fund kicks in."

"Can I pick out a couple of 'Slim Jims' for dinner?"

"Dinner?  I've hearda livin' on love, but ain't that a might severe?"

"Daddy, you've told me more than once of the days when you lived on beer and Slim Jims for semesters on end while you were gettin' your legacy at Harvard." 

"Hee-hee, that is true.  Did I ever tell you about the time I traded your sister for a case of Rolling Rock?"

"Go on."

"It's true, I swear, and boy did your Momma get mad."

"Well what happened?"

"Understand, everything worked out just fine, especially since I got the names confused and told your momma I'd traded my Momma, who's also named Bararbara. . ."

"Yes Daddy, I know."

"So, anyways, I took your sister to the AM/PM up in Midland and told the Wetback who owned the place that if he gave me a case of Rolling Rock, I'd trade him my firstborn."

"What did he say?"

"He jes shook his head, and tole me that if I needed it that bad, I could jes have it.  Boy, did I fool him."

"Fool him, how?'

"Shoot girl, everbody knows you was the firstborn twin."

Listen to what that Fool said and did today, and tell Frodo he ain't still poppin' the top?   



Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:17 PM EDT
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Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Freedom's Just Another Word For Nothin' Left to Lose
Mood:  on fire
Topic: "Yahoo" (4)

When one is the smallest, and the weakest, it is generally not advisable to enter a room looking for a fight.  Frodo further learned that if unable to win the fight, then speed would be of paramount value.  In the unlikely event that one encounters a foe both stronger and faster, then the ability to talk oneself out of trouble is the only salvation.  This, thought Frodo, is the rule of the life that he would lead for all his days.  Frodo miscalculated.

Frodo never, for even one second, ever believed that violence would accomplish anything.  George W. Bush however, whose moronic display now includes his stated personal sacrifice of the game of golf, in order to better bind with the families of the young men and women whom he sent to a pointless, and unforgivable, war, deserves a punch in the nose.  Beyond the imbecility of such a statement, it must be added that photographs reveal that even then, he lied.  He was so cavalier in his facts that he forgot about published pictures of himself on the fairway, more than two months beyond the "unforgettable day" when he no longer felt it appropriate for the "commander-in-chief" to be at play during a war.

The phrase "spitting mad" is on Frodo's lips.  Frodo knows that some, dear reader, who delight in his stories, may be taken aback by the visceral fervor which Frodo allows to pass this night.  Frodo is truly angry for the damage that this Incomparable Moron has done to this, the last great "castle on a hill."  Our collective wealth, our safety, our very reputation, have all been put to risk by he who truly does not understand the immense harm he has done.

Frodo knows one thing, if the Incomparable Moron wants to go through the rest of his life with that beak, he'd better be able to out-run Frodo.  If Frodo should catch him, rest assured dear reader, the first word out of his mouth would be the only one that exited over teeth.

Another of the rules of life would bite the dust.    Gandhi never met George W. Bush.  

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:45 PM EDT
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Tuesday, May 13, 2008
She Works Hard For Her Money, So You'd Better Treat Her Right
Mood:  special
Topic: "Dorothy Rose" (4)

It has been a year since the loss of Galadriel.  Her only daughter yesterday gave birth to the grand-daughter of whom she had dreamed.  It was a joyous, yet stricken, Boromir who called to Samwise with the news. 

Galadriel hovered, unseen, smiling, touching the hearts of all those who knew she was in that room.  This Frodo truly believes, if nothing else.

Boromir has sold all of his cattle, including the one he named for Sam.  His farm is up for sale, and there is another, who waits for Boromir when he is ready.  Frodo knows that, soon, Boromir will go to her.  That is what Galadriel would want.  That is what Boromir needs.  Frodo knows Boromir will return often, but there will not be time for old warriors to gather when grandfathers hold angels.  The Fellowship will grow that much smaller.

Makes the rest of the news seem kind of unimportant, doesn't it?

Welcome Dorothy Rose, my but you must have your mothers' eyes!  Your heart, it is said, will always belong to daddy. 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:51 PM EDT
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Sunday, May 11, 2008
Go Ahead And Hate Your Neighbor, Go Ahead And Cheat a Friend
Mood:  d'oh
Topic: "They're He-ear" (4)

Frodo can sometimes be the contrarian to the complete and absolute consternation of the Fellowship.  Frodo, for one, does not want to see the struggle for the Democratic Presidential nomination come to a premature end.  In fact, Frodo may be the only Hobbit who, at this moment, wants to see the internecine struggle go all the way to the last possible legal second.  Frodo is also confident that when all others consider his reasoning, the process will continue unabated.

There are four good reasons why all of the collective attention in Middle Earth needs to remain transfixed on Hillary and Barack.  The four reasons are Anna Nicole, Lindsay, Paris, and Brittany. 

Slowly this day, Frodo began to notice references to the late and unlamented on the black-and-white.  Now that the nominating process is beginning to lose some of its' "news du jour" luster, it is increasingly probable that the talking heads will now return to that which plagued us all before the Iowa Caucuses.  What else, pray tell, can dominate every cable news show that Nancy Grace hasn't already spread-eagled on the operating room table of forensic voyeurism?  Frodo fears that soon we will hear that Anna Nicole has been spotted, alive, on the beach at Ipanema.

It was learned today that, aaargggh, Brittany will receive additional court-sponsored time with her children.  It will, Frodo predicts, probably mean that the children have now seen their last pair of underpants.

Frodo is frightened of Paris (better dubbed "Moscow Motel Six" by friend Merry) and Lindsay, working in tandem.  They might actually miss a turn off Mulholland Drive, and keep going until they run out of gas right in the middle of the Shire.  This would be the point at which Frodo would find himself in complete agreement with Lou Dobbs, and require that our borders be secured against improper immigration.

These are not idle fears, dear reader.  After all, the most interesting thing about the John McCain campaign is just how much Cindy looks like Paris.

Frodo notices little things like that.  

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:49 PM EDT
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