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" Citizen Soldiers" (5)
" Putin' Out" (5)
" Thin Ice"(9)
""I Ain't Got Much" (5)
""Soft Memories" (7)
"$100, Are You Sure?" (5)
"0 Preservative Added"(2)
"105 Minute Workday"(9)
"16 Percent Factor"(3)
"176,000,000 to 1"(8)
"26 Damn Dollars"(6)
"3 Percent Turnout" (2)
"37 Come 11" (5)
"3:10 to Yuma" (7)
"50 Weeks of Reality TV"
"501 (c)(4)"
"54 Pounds" (8)
"8.8 Pounds"(6)
"A Capitol Idea" (6)
"A Code in My Node"
"A Course is a Course"(2)
"A Day At The Beach" (3)
"A Dog Named Bo" (5)
"A Hobbit of an Idea"
"A Man's Army"
"A Patriot Act" (7)
"A Patriotic Act"
"A Perfect World"
"A soldier booed?'(7)
"A Space Odyssey" (4)
"A Taxing Story" (5)
"A Thousand Campfires"(4)
"A Three Hour Tour"(8)
"A Touch of Class"(5)
"A Waisted Day" (5)
"A Woman Scorned"
"Aagh,I'll Pay,I'll Pay"
"Abe Wong, of Gondor"(5)
"Act I, Scene I" (8)
"Act I, Scene II" (8)
"Act I, Scene III" (8)
"Adjustable 2nd Card"(3)
"Adjusting Policies"
"Adjusting the Clock"(8)
"Aegean Adventure" (2)
"Ah ah ah Stayin' Alive"
"Airline Highway" (5)
"Alan Scott" (7)
"All Aboard"
"All Bets Are In" (2)
"All Charged Up"
"All Good Things" (4)
"Allah Be Praised" (5)
"Almost Heaven" (2)
"Alpha Dog"(7)
"Alright, Who Did It?"(7)
"Also Sprach Frodo" (4)
"Always Wear Gloves" (3)
"AM Radio Next?"
"America's Toilet" (6)
"American Cemetery"(8)
"An Admission"
"An Apple A Day" (7)
"An Hour A Day" (6)
"An Ugly American"(4)
"Anchorman" (6)
"And the Winner Is" (2)
"Andy Griffith Redux"
"Another Single Woman?"
"Another Three-namer"(5)
"Another Time/Place"(4)
"Anvil Throwin' Time"(8)
"Apocalypse Now?" (3)
"Aragorn" (4)
"Armored Dildos" (3)
"As Far As We Know" (2)
"Ask Ann Landers" (3)
"Assembly LineDancing"(4)
"Astronaughty" (2)
"Atlanta Times Three"
"Augmentation" (2)
"Augustus Agonistes" (5)
"Aurora Borealis" (8)
"Autumnal Observances"(2)
"Avast You Lubbers"(6)
"Baby Doctors (2)"
"Baby Fiona"(7)
"Baby Nathan Yahoo"(10)
"Back Door Basra (2)"
"Back inthe Saddle Again"
"Bad Boys, Bad Boys"
"Bad Time for Bonzo" (3)
"Balance of Nature" (3)
"Balance of Payments"(5)
"Balancing the Budget"
"Ballamer" (4)
"Bang the Drum Slowly"
"Bank Prank" (5)
"Baptists are Pussies"(7)
"Barbed Wire Escape (2)"
"Barbie Banditos" (3)
"Barely Bearble"(7)
"Barely Defensible" (2)
"Barry Me Not (2)"
"Bathroom onna Right"(3)
"Beach Music" (7)
"Because It Is Hard" (4)
"Beechwood 4-5789"(6)
"Belling the Cat" (2)
"Ben McGee" (3)
"Benny and the Jets"(5)
"Berlusconi in Love"(6)
"Best be straight Boy"(5)
"Best Day/Worst Day"(6)
"Best in the South" (5)
"Best in the World?"(5)
"Betray Us" (3)
"Bettah than Etta"(4)
"Better Man" (3)
"Better Than Pong"
"Big Time Sports" (3)
"Big Words,LittleMind"(6)
"Bilbo's Birthday (2)"
"Bilbo's Little Boy"(5)
"Bilbo's Revenge" (5)
"Bill and Hillary (2)"
"Billy World" (2)
"Bimini Babes" (3)
"Bird is the Word" (3)
"Birmingham Jail" (5)
"Birthday Baggins"
"Birthday Buddies" (7)
"Birthday Memory" (4)
"Birthin' No Babies" (3)
"Bishop to King's Castle"
"Black Friday" (2)
"Black Gold, Texas Tea"
"Black Hole Blues" (4)
"Black Jack"
"Black Russians" (6)
"Black Widow" (3)
"Blackboard Jungle"
"Blame Game" (3)
"Bleached Bones" (5)
"Blitzkrieg Bellini" (2)
"Blood and Swash" (3)
"Bloopers" (5)
"Blue Christmas" (2)
"Bo's Birthday"(5)
"Bob Sikes' Cut"(9)
"Bob, Bob, Bobbit" (3)
"Bobby, not Ben"(6)
"Bon Air Bellicose" (4)
"Bon Giorno" (6)
"Bona Lisa" (5)
"Bonds-v-Skvara" (3)
"Boo Boo Poo Poo"(9)
"Boromir & Galadriel"(5)
"Bottled in Thyme"(7)
"Bottom Ten"(9)
"Bovine Stem Cells?"
"Boy, I Say Boy"
"Boycott BP"
"Breaker, Breaker" (4)
"Breakin' rules" (7)
"Breaking News" (7)
"Brer Fox (2)"
"Bridge at Andau"(11)
"Bring Back Ross" (2)
"Bring the Bowl"
"Broken News"(10)
"Brother of the Ring"
"Brownback Mountain"
"Brownie Hawkeye"
"Buckwheat Breathes" (2)
"Bumper Sticker"
"Burn Baby, Burn" (3)
"Bush in the Bullrushes"
"Bush Baby, Bush (2)"
"Bush is Chinese?" (2)
"Bush Press Conference"
"Bush-Bashers Be We (2)"
"Busman's Holiday(2)"
"Butt...Butt...Butt" (3)
"Butterflies? Sheesh!"
"Buttermilk Drops" (3)
"Buy a Subaru" (11)
"Buy Stock in America"(6)
"Cabin Fever" (5)
"Cain Not Able" (7)
"Cake in the Rain"
"Cake in the Rain"(3)
"Call Me Ishmael" (3)
"Callista, an Albino?"(7)
"Camp Pleasant" (2)
"Can She Name Them?(2)"
"Can You Hear Me Now?"
"Canaan Conspiracy"(6)
"Candygram" (4)
"Captive Audience"(6)
"Caramel or Carmel?"(3)
"Carolina Cougar(2)"
"Carolina Curmudgeon" (5)
"Cartoon Characters" (3)
"Case of Packy Stann"(3)
"Cash crash crashed?"(5)
"Cat Fight" (5)
"Caterpillar Quandry" (3)
"Causal Relationships"(9)
"Cause It's One, (2)"
"Ceramic s"
"Ch-ch-changin'" (4)
"Change a'comin" (5)
"Change is Good" (5)
"Change?" (3)
"Changin' Channels" (2)
"Chapter 13"
"Chariots of Fire"
"Chariots' a' Comin'"(4)
"Chassahowitzka" (2)
"Chauncey Gardner"(7)
"Chemical Alley" (6)
"Cheney of Fools" (2)
"Cherem" (3)
"Chew my Gazebo, Willya?"
"Chief Noc-a-Homa" (3)
"Chingachgook Lives"
"Chipmonkeys Alert (2)"
"Chipper" (6)
"Christian Balls"(10)
"Christian the Lion"(4)
"Christian Valuelessness"
"Christmas Communique"(3)
"Christmas, 1936" (2)
"Chutzpah Hooters" (4)
"Cilled a Bar?" (3)
"Cindy, oh Cindy"(4)
"Citizen Soldiers" (2)
"Clark and Lois (2)"
"Classified Ads are Cool"
"Claymore Gregg" (3)
"Clean Machine" (2)
"Clean up in Aisle 4!"(4)
"Climb It Chains" (8)
"Clinton Cuts" (7)
"Clone Chipper,Please"(4)
"Cockatiel Lounge" (2)
"College of the Shire"(6)
"Combat Kelly (2)"
"Come On Baby"(8)
"Come on Down" (3)
"Comin' Clean" (5)
"Comin' Home" (3)
"Commencement (2)"
"Comparables" (6)
"Condi for President" (3)
"Cone of Silence" (4)
"Conflagration" (3)
"Confusion Reigns"(10)
"Congress Goes to War (2)
"Congress' Schmidthead"
"Conspiracy Theory" (4)
"Copy Cat Chinese" (5)
"Country Roads" (7)
"Crawford Convention" (2)
"Crikey" (2)
"Crime and Punishment(2)"
"Crotch Rocket Delite"(4)
"Cult of the Wild"(7)
"Curious, George?"
"Currahee" (5)
"Da Juice Is Back" (3)
"Dad" (5)
"Damages Done (2)"
"Damn Close" (4)
"Damn It To Hell" (5)
"Damn Lies" (7)
"Dandy Dale" (7)
"Danger Will Robinson"(5)
"Danger,Will Robinson"(8)
"Darth Dick" (5)
"Darwin's Company" (4)
"Das Boot"
"Das Ende" (6)
"Date With David" (2)
"Day of Infamy" (4)
"Day-O, Me Wan Go"(7)
"De Tar-Ball Baby" (6)
"Dead Honkey"
"Dearest Bilbo"
"Debits on the Left?" (2)
"Decisions, Decisions"(6)
"Deep and Dark" (5)
"Deep Shiite" (3)
"Degree of Separation"(6)
"Deja 1958 Over Again"
"Deja Who?"(7)
"Delano" (4)
"Diazinon Ditties (2)"
"Dick Clark Top 10(2)"
"Dimmer Switch" (6)
"Dirty Copter" (4)
"Do They Like Kool Aid?"
"Doctor, Mr. MD"(9)
"Dodged a Bullet"(7)
"Dogmobile" (3)
"Dogs Rule"
"Doing the Right Thing"
"Don't Cut My DSL" (5)
"Don't Feed the Animals"
"Dont Touch That Dial"(6)
"Doofus" (9)
"Doohan's Delight" (3)
"Doris Miller" (6)
"Dorothy Rose" (4)
"Double Deal" (6)
"Doubting Thomases" (3)
"Doug Williams"(4)
"Dover" (4)
"Down Below Back Home"(4)
"Downtown Cardinals"(9)
"Dr. Phil" (5)
"Dubai-Bye" (3)
"Dueling Banjos" (3)
"Dumb and Dumber" (3)
"Dumb As We Wanna Be"(3)
"Dumber Than Dirt" (3)
"Dumbest Politico (2)"
"Eager Uighurs" (4)
"Early Admission" (8)
"Eight Nine Four" (4)
"Elect Jeff Jackson"(10)
"Elizabeth I" (5)
"Emily Latella Lives"
"Emperor's Clothes" (2)
"End of the Line"
"Ending Sams Patience"(7)
"Engine Uprisin'" (4)
"Ensign Pulver"(5)
"EOTUS" (5)
"Equinox Approaching"(10)
"Equinoxious" (4)
"Escalator Escalatin'"(5)
"ESP" (6)
"Etchings, Anyone?"(5)
"Ethel Merman Lives"
"Eve, It's Oil!"
"Evenin' Govnah" (6)
"Everyday Miracles"
"Evil Thoughts" (3)
"Eye Opener" (3)
"Eyes of a Gorilla"
"Fair is Fare"(7)
"Falcon" (8)
"Fall Ball" (3)
"Fallin' Behind"(11)
"Falling Apart" (9)
"Fargo Felines" (5)
"Fashionable Frodo" (5)
"Father Ed" (3)
"Faux les Bas" (2)
"Female Insurgency (2)"
"Ferengi or Ferangi?" (3)
"Fergit? Hell No!"
"Film at 11"
"Findin' William"(11)"
"Firing US Attorneys" (3)
"First Freeze" (6)
"First Learn to Lose"
"First National Bank" (5)
"First Sentence" (8)
"Five Easy Pieces" (4)
"Float Yer Boat" (4)
"Flower Power (2)"
"Foe Years Old" (4)
"Follow the Money"
"Followin' Ava" (4)
"For More Years" (3)
"Forbidden Fruit"
"Fords and Dads" (2)
"Foreclosure Follies" (7)
"Foreclosure Notice" (6)
"Forest Primeval"(8)
"Form 666" (3)
"Forms For Everything"(6)
"Foundling Fathers"(7)
"Fourteen Years Ago?"(5)
"Fox Views" (3)
"Frack You" (7)
"Frances Died Today"(7)
"Fred's Dead Head" (3)
"Free at Last"
"Free Hidden Telecast"(4)
"Freedom? Hell No" (3)
"Friend by Your Side" (3)
"Friend by your Side" (4)
"Friendly Persuasion" (5)
"Friends of Bill" (7)
"Frist Friends"
"Frodo and Housman" (2)
"Frodo and Jesus"
"Frodo and Revere?"(7)
"Frodo And Truckers (2)"
"Frodo Dissents" (6)
"Frodo Not Foggo (2)"
"Frodo of Arabia(2)"
"Frodo Op" (5)
"Frodo Regrets"
"Frodo Study Group" (2)
"Frodo visits Bilbo"
"Frodo's Almanac"(9)
"Frodo's Bad Day"
"Frodo's Book Club"(5)
"Frodo's Dilemma" (3)
"Frodo's Faux Pas" (3)
"Frodo's Final Four" (3)
"Frodo's Foreign Policy"
"Frodo's Hall of Fame"(4)
"Frodo's Newer Friend"(6)
"Frodo's Retirement"(8)
"Frodo's Revenge"
"Frodo's Revenge"(7)
"Frodo's Solutions" (6)
"Frodo's Xmas Story"(6)
"Frodo, James Frodo" (3)
"Furriners" (4)
"Gainful Employment" (3)
"Galadriel Is No More"(3)
"Gandalf's Challenge (2)"
"Garland Duesenberry" (2)
"Gas Guzzler A-Go-Go"
"Gasp, Wheeze (2)"
"Gay Faux Holes" (5)
"Genarlow de Chariot" (3)
"Genesis Ignored" (3)
"Geneva Accords Redux"
"Geography Lesson" (3)
"George to the Rescue"(3)
"Georgia on my Mind"(3)
"Getting Your Wish" (3)
"Gidget Goes Gondor"(7)
"Gimme Head With Hair"(3)
"Girls Night Out" (6)
"Give 'em Hell, Tom" (5)
"Give Heath a Chance (2)"
"Give Us Your Tired. . ."
"Giving Way to Anger" (2)
"Glenn Frey"(11)
"Glory Days"
"Goin' Home" (3)
"Gondor Goodfellas"(9)
"Gondor Gravitas" (3)
"Good Cop" (7)
"Good Day America" (6)
"Good Friday It Was"(9)
"Good Friday, Maybe"(11)
"Good Ol Mountain Dew"(5)
"Good Son"
"Goodbye Kids (2)"
"Goodbye, Ethan" (2)
"Goodman is Hard to Find"
"Goose Again"
"GOP Convention" (3)
"Gotta Have a Home (2)"
"Grading on a Curve"
"Graffiti Government" (2)
"Great American Hero"
"Great American Hero" (2)
"Greatest Duet Ever"(6)
"Greed is Good"(5)
"Greetings" (8)
"Grissom not Gruesome"(4)
"Groupies for Edwards"(4)
"Guess We Forgot?"(8)
"Guest Workers (2)"
"Guns of August" (7)
"Guts of August" (3)
"Gwinnett Again?" (3)
"Halo, 1,2,3?" (3)
"Ham I Am" (3)
"Handi-Wipes" (3)
"Hang 'em High" (2)
"Hanky Time, Ladies"
"Happens in Threes"(5)
"Happy Anniversary"(9)
"Happy Mardi Gras"(2)
"Harpo Speaks"
"Harry" (2)
"Harry's Bar-Venice" (2)
"Hawkeye, Redux"(7)
"Haz Mat" (3)
"He Ate the Olive!"(7)
"He is deeply missed (2)"
"He Picks Up Poop?" (5)
"He Took De Bait" (8)
"He's 'Little Ricky'?"(7)
"Healthcare for Frodo"(5)
"Heart Soar Like Hawk"(5)
"Heck of an Engineer"(7)
"Hedge Fund Hippies" (3)
"Heeeerrre's Frodo" (3)
"Heeere's Johnny" (6)
"Heeerrrre's Frodo" (3)
"Hello, Mr. Wilson" (5)
"Hello? Central?" (3)
"Help Wanted"
"Helping Frodo" (4)
"Here Come da Judge" (2)
"Here Come da Judge" (6)
"Here Kitty-Kitty" (4)
"Here Kitty-kitty"(5)
"Here's Help, Now Leave"
"Here's Your Watch" (3)
"Hi Jinx" (5)
"Hide Anythin' Edible"(5)
"High Chair" (2)
"Hobbits And a Truck"(4)
"Hold On Romo" (2)
"Hold the Malaise" (4)
"Honey Dew List"(9)
"Hopalong Frodo"(9)
"Horn of Africa (2)"
"Horse Latitudes" (6)
"Horsehockey" (3)
"Hosea Can You See" (3)
"Hosea Can You See?" (3)
"Hot Tamale" (3)
"Hotel Plimhimmon"(9)
"HOV or DOA?" (3)
"How Dogs Love Us" (10)
"How Many Delegates?"
"How Many Delegates?" (3)
"How Now Broun Cow"(8)
"Hraka" (4)
"Huckleberry Hound" (3)
"Hund Scheisse CSI" (5)
"Hungarian Answer" (4)
"I Believe in Music (2)"
"I can hope, can't I?"(9)
"I Could Cry" (2)
"I Inspired You?"
"I say it's Spinach. . ."
"I'll Get Back to You"(3)
"I'll Huff and Puff" (4)
"I'll Take a Vowel"
"I'm Baaack" (2)
"I'mSo In LoveWithYou"(7)
"Ides of March Again" (4)
"Ides of Texas" (6)
"IED's in Congress" (2)
"If Frodo Ran The DHS"(5)
"If It Ain't OneThing"(5)
"If the truth be told"(6)
"If You Remember,Then"(6)
"If" (6)
"Imagine,General Newt"(6)
"Imitation of Life" (5)
"Immigration Reform (2)"
"In a Galaxy Far Away(2)"
"In a Pig's Eye" (4)
"In Dog We Trust" (10)
"In the Beginning"
"In the Beginning" (3)
"Incomparable Moron" (4)
"Indoor Toilets Rule" (4)
"Intersex Village" (2)
"Interstate Parking (2)"
"Ion Propulsion"(7)
"Iran's Tom Hayden"
"Irish Spring"(3)
"Is it in the Water?"
"Is That in America?" (2)
"Is You da One,Jimmy?"(3)
"Islamic Fundamentals"(8)
"Isn't Amnesty Good?"(3)
"Isn't Change Good?"(6)
"It's A Trap" (6)
"It's Just a Movie"
"It's Just Business"
"Ja, Wir Konnen."
"Jack Crabb" (10)
"Jambo Jumbo" (3)
"Japanese Movie?" (3)
"Je suis Frodo"(10)
"Jefferson Rock" (3)
"Jes' the facts Ma'am"(4)
"Jim Crow" (5)
"Joad Family Reunion?"(6)
"Joad Jobs" (4)
"Joe Soptic" (8)
"Jonestown Redux" (3)
"Jose and Claudia" (4)
"Joshua Generation" (3)
"Just Another Day" (3)
"Just Clearin' Brush"(3)
"Just Desserts (2)"
"Just Desserts" (7)
"Just Say 'Nyet'"(7)
"Just to CU Smile" (5)
"Kandy Kakes 2"
"Ken Meets Jack"
"Key Word Apology" (6)
"Killer's Geraldine" (4)
"Kilowatts Per Mile" (6)
"Kiribati Republic"(6)
"Kirk Saves Nemo"
"Kiss a Girl Goodbye"(2)
"Knew You Not Pompey?"(3)
"Kodak Moment" (2)
"Kool Sailboat" (4)
"Korea, Korea" (2)
"Kudlow's Kreeps"(4)
"Lady of Rohan" (3)
"Land Ho"(8)
"Lean and Hungry " (2)
"Leeward, I Say, Leeward"
"Legs Diamond" (3)
"Legs" (3)
"Leslie" (4)
"Lessons Learned" (2)
"Let Them Eat Cake"
"Let's Bake Cookies" (3)
"Let's Play A Game" (6)
"Letter Home" (6)
"Letter to Lou" (4)
"Liberal Lament" (40)
"Lief, Leaf, or Loaf"(8)
"Life In A Red State"
"Lights of Chicago"
"Like a Barack" (2)
"Limbaugh Hero"(7)
"Lime Bandits" (3)
"Lime is on my side" (6)
"Limestone Cowboys" (3)
"Lip Smackin' Good?"(6)
"Little Big Horn (2)"
"Little Houdini" (5)
"Little Sky"
"Littlest Angel" (2)
"Livin' is Easy?"(7)
"Loans and Deposits" (4)
"Lois, I Never Lie"(8)
"Lonely Avenue" (3)
"Lonesome Frodo" (3)
"Look away Dixieland"(6)
"Look for da Union Label"
"Look Who's Talkin'" (2)
"Lookin' Back, Texas" (3)
"Lost Weekend"(8)
"Low Water, Slow Flow"(3)
"Lox? Or Locks?" (7)
"Lunatic Cattle Call"(8)
"M-G-M Material"
"Ma Bell is Baaack" (3)
"Ma Bell Lives" (7)
"Macaca, Your Macaca" (2)
"Mad Dogs&Englishmen"(6)
"Made You Look" (6)
"Magic Fridge (2)"
"Magic Moments"(7)
"Make Jobs, Not War"(7)
"MaMa's Little Babies"(3)
"Man For All Seasons" (2)
"Man of the Century"
"Man Up, Harry"(6)
"Man's Best Friend?"
"Many happy returns"
"March Forth" (8)
"Marking Time" (3)
"Martyr Magic" (2)
"Marvelous Mac"(8)
"Mary Lee & Genie"(8)
"Master of None" (8)
"May Day, Comrade"(7)
"Maynard G. Krebs" (7)
"Medal of Honor" (6)
"Media is the Message(2)"
"Media Reporting" (6)
"Mental Healthcare" (4)
"Michelle, my Belle"(7)
"Mick's Day"(8)
"Mickey and Me"(6)
"MidSummer Nights Dream"(7)
"Mikileaks" (6)
"Missionary Position" (3)
"Missionary Position" (7)
"Mississipp' Sippin'"(2)
"Mister Roberts" (8)
"Moamar:The Movie"(7)
"Mohair Sam" (5)
"Mon Petit Shoe"(4)
"Monkeys in Mississippi"
"Moody Blue"(7)
"Moody" (7)
"Mooman" (3)
"Moon Over Miami"(4)
"Mooosic" (5)
"Moovin' On Up" (2)
"Mordor or Antarctica?"
"More Than Some" (4)
"Moultrie Poultry" (3)
"Mount Mulch" (2)
"Movin' On Up" (2)
"Mr. Toad's Motorcar (2)"
"Mumbai, My Lord" (4)
"Murtha For President(2)"
"N. Leroy" (7)
"Name That Tune"(4)
"Nascaroil" (4)
"Nat King Cole Sucks"(5)
"NCAA---Blech!" (7)
"Nein, nein, nein"(7)
"Never Doubt Bilbo"
"Never heard of him"
"New Life, Old Leaves"(4)
"Newest Friend"(8)
"Newman's Own" (4)
"Newt/Mitt '12" (3)
"Next Case" (6)
"Next Door Neighbors" (3)
"NFL Commissioner (2)"
"NFL Trade" (3)
"Nielsen Ratings" (2)
"Nine Months PG" (7)
"Nixon Agonistes" (3)
"No Faux News?" (3)
"No Googling Allowed"(4)
"No Humor Today"
"No Peanut Left Behind"
"No Sale" (3)
"No, Not Russian" (4)
"No-No, No" (3)
"Nobody Even Asked"(8)
"Noo Yawk Stateamind"(2)
"Not a Bang,a Whimper"(7)
"Not Funny, Dr Jones"(5)
"Not North Carolina" (6)
"Not Percy Sledge?" (3)
"Not Percy Sledge?"(3)
"Number One" (3)
"Number Please?"(7)
"Number, Please"(8)
"Numbers Don't Lie" (3)
"Numbers Racket" (4)
"Obama Doctrine" (5)
"Obama's Generals"(5)
"October Dreamin'" (4)
"Ode to an Athlete (2)"
"Ogal Preston Crews (2)"
"Oh Kenny Boy (2)"
"Oh the possibilities"(8)
"Oh Ye White Whale" (3)
"Oh, Sadaharu" (2)
"OK Baptist Chorale" (4)
"Old McDonnell's Farm"(7)
"Old Time Baseball"(9)
"Old Times Topic" (6)
"Olympic Changes" (4)
"On Her Code?" (4)
"On Vacation, I'm Sure"
"One Act Play"
"One Down, More Comin'"
"One For the Good Guys"
"One More Round" (4)
"One Orbit of the Sun"(2)
"Only 434 More to Go" (2)
"Opportunity Sox" (3)
"Or the Yellow Peril?"(6)
"Osama Can You See?" (2)
"Our God Is Better" (3)
"Our Town" (5)
"Our Town" (8)
"Out Damned Spot (2)"
"Out of Kilter" (5)
"Out of the Ashes" (4)
"Overdue Books" (3)
"Pace Car" (3)
"Painted Toenails?"(4)
"Panic Attack"(10)
"Pants on Fire"
"Parade of Horribles"(4)
"Part Two" (5)
"Pass the Malais" (4)
"Passion Flowers" (5)
"Past is Prologue" (3)
"Pat bin Laden"
"Patsy for America"
"Peaceful Easy Feelin"(3)
"Peacetakescourage" (3)
"Permanent Vacation" (5)
"Persons of the Year"
"Philadelphia Bunnyface?"
"Philosopher Kings" (4)
"Pickled Cabbage?"
"Picture of Frodo"(5)
"Pilot Wales" (2)
"Pirate Booty"
"Pit Bull Revenge"(4)
"Pius Baloney I" (7)
"Place of Good Abode" (3)
"Plaque 42W, Line 12"
"Play It Again, Sam"
"Play Melancholy Baby"
"Play the Frodo Game"(6)
"Playin' Possum" (3)
"Poland Parole Patrol"(5)
"Polish or Polish?"
"Poll Results Just In"
"Poly Sci 101"(9)
"Poor People"
"Pope for a Day" (10)
"Pope-a-Dope" (5)
"Popeil Veg-o-matic"
"Potty Training" (3)
"Power Surge"(9)
"Pray for, Gas?" (4)
"Pray With Me Henry" (2)
"Pre-emptive Passages"(2)
"Preemptive Invasion"
"Presidential Erection"
"Problem, Officer?" (3)
"Problem, Officer?" (5)
"Problems?" (4)
"Promises Made" (3)
"Promises To Keep" (5)
"Promises to Keep"(9)
"Proud I Am"
"Proud Walter" (5)
"Proxy Server Error" (4)
"Prudent" (10)
"Psychiatrist,5 cents"(6)
"Pugnacious Maverick"
"Pulitzer Means Squat"(8)
"Punxatawney Bush"
"Puppy Angel" (2)
"Purple Pill Please" (2)
"Putin Tang" (3)
"Qaddafi Wins, For Now"(7)
"Qualified? Yeah Right!"
"Quayle Hunting"
"Queen of Memphis"
"Queen of the Damned"
"Quittin' Time" (8)
"Quoth the Raven"(7)
"QVC and Dorothy"
"Qwest For Truth (2)"
"Radio and TV"(7)
"Rain, Rain, Go Away?"(4)
"Rainy Day in Georgia(2)"
"Raptor Rapture" (7)
"Read All About It" (5)
"Real Men Don't Shop"(4)
"Rechargin' da Shire"(11)
"Recycled Air (Gasp)" (2)
"Red Sky at Morning" (3)
"Red Sky at Morning"(5)
"Reduced Flow Flush"(5)
"Reimers' Rhymers"(5)
"Remember These?"
"Remembering Jessica" (2)
"Remote Outpost" (7)
"Render Unto Wright" (4)
"Reverend LeRoy" (3)
"Rice on Hot Tin Roof(2)"
"Rick Santa Anna"(5)
"Right Not Privilege" (4)
"Road to Damascus"
"Road Trip" (5)
"Roads Scholar" (8)
"Rocket Man"
"Rocket Man" (5)
"Rockets Red Glare" (5)
"Rocks Rox"(8)
"Roger the Dodger"(4)
"Roger Williams Sucks"(2)
"Rooty-Toot" (6)
"Rose Garden Promises"(4)
"Royal Portrait" (2)
"Rubber Ducky" (2)
"Rubio's Cube"(6)
"Rules" (6)
"Rules" (7)
"Rumblin' Bumblin'" (3)
"Rumsfeldstiltskin" (2)
"Run Eddie, Run" (5)
"Run Far, Run Fast"(7)
"Run Forrest, Run"
"Run, old hare!"
"Runaround Tsu"
"Runs in the Family" (3)
"Rwanda Go Home?"(6)
"S'long Sarong (2)"
"Sabato Knows" (2)
"Sam Shopping" (2)
"San Juan de Capistrano"
"Sandy Hook" (8)
"Santos v. Vinnick"
"Satire-Apology to Mick"
"Sauron Psalms" (2)
"Sauron's Scythe" (4)
"Savin' Gas" (4)
"SAWB" (3)
"Say Cheese"(7)
"Say It Ain't So,Jo"(4)
"Say It Ain't So,Joe" (2)
"School Holiday" (4)
"Science Marches On"
"Scooter" (2)
"Scott Free" (4)
"Sears and Loveaduck" (5)
"Second Line (2)"
"Second of Two" (4)
"Seems Like Yesterday"(4)
"Seems Like Yesterday"(9)
"Seen Any Blue Swans?"(3)
"Selective Service"(8)
"September Twelfth"(5)
"Serendipity Strikes" (3)
"Serge is Working?" (3)
"Serious,For A Change"(6)
"Seven Samurai" (5)
"Sex or Gender?"
"Sexiest Man Alive"(5)
"Shaken, not stirred"(10)
"She is No Ma Kettle"
"Sheep and Museums"
"Sheep in Mindanao?"
"Shenandoah Rangers"(7)
"Shenandoah" (6)
"Shire Sunset"
"Shock and Awe" (4)
"Shoot 'em, Vern"
"Side by Side" (7)
"Sidin' With Anemone"(4)
"Silence of the Lambs"(2)
"Silent, but deadly"(6)
"Sing It Again" (4)
"Sink or Swim"
"Sir A Gut" (3)
"Six Days on the Road"
"Skull and Bones"(4)
"Skunk Cabbage" (3)
"Sleepy Time (2)"
"Slippin' and a Slidin'"
"Sludge Stimulus" (5)
"Small Businesses-Ha!"(6)
"Small Gray Planet"(2)
"Small Victories"
"Smellin' Roses"
"Smirk Jerk" (2)
"Smokin' Pesticide Dope"
"Smoochy Time" (4)
"Snazis" (2)
"Snow Tan"(11)
"Snowiches" (6)
"So Who's Sluggo?" (2)
"Social Security Reform"
"Social Security" (7)
"Socrates and Friends"(5)
"Soldier of the King"
"Soldier of the Storm(2)"
"Solitary Isolation" (3)
"Solving a Problem"(9)
"Somethin' Borrowed"(5)
"Something in Commons"(5)
"Sometimes Life Sucks"(4)
"Sorcerer's Apprentice"
"Soul Train" (5)
"Souter Rules, Dude"
"Southern Ladies" (5)
"Sow's Ear from Silk"(5)
"Space Poop" (3)
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"Spoonerized" (6)
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"St. George" (4)
"Stan & Ollie"(7)
"State Dinner" (3)
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"Sticker Shock"
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"Stragedy" (8)
"Strangerthan fiction"(6)
"Strip Searched" (9)
"Stupidly" (5)
"Stupor Bowl Sunday"(2)
"Subsidizing Seeds"(6)
"Sunday, Sunday"(9)
"Sunni Daze" (4)
"Supportin' da Troops"(2)
"Supportin' da Troops"(3)
"Survey Says" (6)
"Sweet Georgia Brown"
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"Take a letter, dearie"
"Take It Off Baby" (5)
"Takes a Worried Man"(4)
"Talibanme Banana"(8)
"Talkin' Turkey" (3)
"Tax Driver" (9)
"Taxpayer Assistance (2)"
"Tea Olive" (7)
"Tear Down That Wall"(4)
"Teflon Causes Cancer"
"Ten Cent Coke" (3)
"Tennessee Stinks" (6)
"Term Paper" (5)
"Terminal? Great!"
"Terre Bonne" (6)
"Terrible Swift Sword"(6)
"Terrible Two's" (2)
"Tess of D'Uberville"(8)
"Tess of the Dorghis" (8)
"Texas Exes" (8)
"Thank the Academy"(4)
"Thank You Rand Paul"
"Thank You, Molly" (2)
"Thanks, Dad" (3)
"Thar She Blows"
"That Looks Like Me"(5)
"That's the way it is"(5)
"Thawt Yuze a Toad"(7)
"The 60 Year Struggle"(5)
"The Atlanta Eye" (6)
"The Blue Dog"(11)
"The Boston Massacre"(9)
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"The Brotherhood Begins"
"The Eyes of Texas"
"The Forum" (2)
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"The Garden of Good"
"The Good Book" (4)
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"The Great Quixote" (9)
"The Grumpy Dwarf"(9)
"The Important Stuff"
"The Italian Stallion"
"The Litany" (6)
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"The Non-Issue" (3)
"The Perfect Storm" (2)
"The Pre-Fellowship"(4)
"The Prophecy"
"The Real Rhett" (4)
"The Second Amendment"
"The Silver Sow Award"(3)
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"The Turtle" (3)
"The Union Label"(6)
"There is a Virginia" (2)
"They're He-ear" (4)
"Thin Ice, Frodo" (4)
"Third Strike Nuance (2)"
"This Day in History"(3)
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"To Arms, To Arms"
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"Tom Bombadil isDying"(7)
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"Tom" (4)
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"Tra La,Spring,Tra La"(6)
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"Travel Sucks" (4)
"Tree Fishin' (2)"
"Trees v. Forest"(9)
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"Trouble Sleepin'" (3)
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"Unconditional Surrender"
"Unconventional, you say?"(7)
"Underdog Shmunderdog"(4)
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"Untimely Events"
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"Vacation Brouhaha" (3)
"Vacation Comin'" (2)
"Vandals at the Gates"(2)
"Vat of Chocolate"(6)
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"Veto Shmetoe (2)"
"Vick Drops, Cough!" (3)
"Video Thriller"(5)
"Vinson Can Gogh"(6)
"Virgin Birth" (2)
"Virginia is 4 Lovers"(4)
"Virginia Lovers" (4)
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"Vote for Steve" (2)
"Vote Frodo (Not)"(7)
"W is for Wuss""
"Wait 'til Next Year" (2)
"Wait 'Til Next Year"(2)A
"Walkin' in the Woods"(5)
"Walkin' the Dogs"(8)
"Walkin' the Walk"
"Wall of Libertad"
"War on Middle Class"(2)
"War on Tara"
"Warm Bucket of Spit"(4)
"Was Miers His Attorney?"
"Watch Mr. Wizard" (3)
"Water Into Wine" (11)
"Water into Wine?"
"Watts da plan, Man?"(5)
"Wayne Johnson"(4)
"We Make a Better Day"(5)
"We Sank a Truck"
"We Will Rock You"
"Weather Channel Follies"
"Weddin' Down South" (3)
"Wedding Bell Blues"
"Weeds Way Is Up?"(5)
"Weepy Seepy Peepee"(3)
"Welcome Home, Soldier"
"Well, Duh!"
"Well, Poop"(8)
"West Wing Redux" (2)
"What Goes Around" (6)
"What if JR Shot Back"(9)
"What is a Shimkus?" (2)
"What Mark Felt"
"What Schedule?" (2)
"What Time Is It (2)"
"What We Have Here (2)"
"What Would Mitt Do?"(3)
"What's A Cubit?"
"What's a Sgarbi?" (5)
"What, Me Worry?"
"What, Me Worry?" (3)
"Where Sun Doan Shine"(8)
"Where's Frodo?" (5)
"Where's my puppy?"(4)
"Where's the Beef?"
"Where's the Fire?"(5)
"Whither Frodo?"
"Whitman's Sampler"(6)
"Who Dat Say Who Dat?"
"Who dat?" (2)
"Who did it?" (2)
"Who Torted?"
"Who Was That Guy?" (5)
"Who's In Line?"(6)
"Who's We, White Boy?"(3)
"Why are you here"?(3)
"Why are you here?" (3)
"Why Black Folks Cheered"
"Wiccan I do for you?"(2)
"Wicked Pickett"
"Wide Stance" (4)
"Will better be?"(7)
"Willard" (7)
"Willie B had heart" (5)
"Winchester Women (2)"
"Wink at the Moon"
"Winter Solstice"
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"Wither Channels" (5)
"Wither Weather"(9)
"Wither Weather?"(4)
"WMD in the Shire"(6)
"Words To Live By"(7)
"Workin' on Night Moves"
"Worst Candidate Ever"(8)
"Worth Waiting For?"(5)
"Write a Letter" (7)
"Writer's Block" (2)
"Wrong Again, Frodo"(3)
"Wyomin' Gloamin'" (2)
"Xmas in Shreveport"(6)
"Yahoo" (4)
"Yankee Humor" (5)
"Yankee Ingenuity"
"Yella Rose a Taxes"(4)
"Yellow Peril" (3)
"Yes, No, Who Knows?" (2)
"You Betcha" (6)
"You Put Your Eye Out"(2)
"You Snake in the Grass"
"You Take the High Road"
"Zimmerman Noted"(6)
"Zinni in Bloom (2)"
"Zounds, Sounds!" (5)
"Zounds, you varlet"(4)
Southern Pine Beetles"(4)
The H Word" (6)
Citizens of Middle Earth
The Fellowship of the Ring
The Return of the King
Frodo, Keeper of the Ring
Thursday, March 4, 2010
It Takes Two Baby
Mood:  vegas lucky
Topic: "Double Deal" (6)

Just about the time Frodo begins to exhibit concern about the state of the world, something comes along to remind him that the opposition, although loyal, is just about the dumbest collection of characters on God's green earth.  By that, Frodo does not dwell on Karl Rove's assertion that the Bush Administration would "probably not" have gone to war in Iraq had they known there were no "weapons of mass destruction."  Rather, it is the unbelievable antics of a nondescript Congressman who is about to slip into the state of ignominy that he has truly earned.

Nathan Deal, once a Democrat, but now a Republican, announced YESTERDAY that he was resigning his seat in the US House of Representatives in order to concentrate on his race for the position of Governor, in his home state of Georgia.  TODAY however, Representative Deal announced a change of plans so that he could adequately represent the opinions of his constituents in looming climactic votes on healthcare reform.

Between these polar positions there stands a conversation with the National Republican Party, which asserted that they were "unaware" of Representative Deal's initial decision. 

Representative Deal, it should be added, denies the allegations of his political enemies that he directed federal contracts towards businesses controlled by family members. 

Frodo is struck by the changing of times down South.  He remembers when his father would only buy a Zenith TV or a Pontiac motorcar.  It was as if there were a vested interest between company and consumer, and by supporting one religiously there was a level of quality assurance to be assumed, forever.  Now, there are Congressmen everywhere who were "one thing before they became another," and, not unlike the former presidential aspirant now mocked, "they were for it before they were against it."

It is very likely that healthcare reform will pass and soon be signed by the President of the United States.  It is also likely that Nathan Deal will not only fail to win the governorship in Georgia, but he will lose the nomination of his own (now) party.  He will also, of course, be out-of-luck should he, again, decide to withdraw from his congressional position.  The only negative that Frodo evaluates from this turn of events is that there will be one more unemployed person in America, and he will be named Nathan Deal.

Some days, good things happen when you least expect it.


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:56 PM EST
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Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Here's To You, Mrs. Robinson
Mood:  don't ask
Topic: "Strangerthan fiction"(6)

As discussed several days ago, the Speaker of the Georgia House of Representatives was forced to resign when his wife publicly disclosed his infidelity.  Glenn Richardson, necessarily also represented a segment of Paulding County, Georgia, in the State House.  A special election was held to replace Richardson, and what transpired from the electorate is almost difficult to explain.

Daniel Stout, a 29 year-old community banker, won a three-way election in the heavily-Republican electoral area.  The election was decided by less than 5 percent of the county's voters.  This, despite the fact that Stout was forced to explain the affair, which took place ten years ago, with his mother-in-law, while he was still married to her daughter.  Stout, it should be noted, is a supporter of anti-choice legislation, smaller government, and lower taxes.

A representative of the local "Right to Life," and a mother of six, said she supported Stout in the election because she's been impressed by his solid second marriage.  She dismissed the affair as a mistake of youth. 

Stout did remarry in 2005 and he remains close to the daughter from that first marriage.  The identity and the age of the daughter's mother was not disclosed.

Frodo is taking bets.   

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 7:47 PM EST
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Monday, March 1, 2010
You Better Take Care of Business Mr. Businessman
Mood:  down
Topic: "What Goes Around" (6)

Saint George, the subject of a discussion some months ago, is he who involved Frodo in the annual bell-ringing in behalf of the Salvation Army.  He is one of the kindest, most community-minded individuals that Frodo has ever known.  He participates in the annual census of the homeless in Atlanta, and can always be counted upon to offer time and service to worthy causes.

More than a year ago, Saint George and his Honey had scheduled a vacation cruise commencing in Chile, circling the South American continent, and ending in Miami.  The beginning leg of their journey was a flight from Atlanta to Santiago, where they would spend a night or two in a hotel and spend the free day touring the charm of the city, before boarding ship.

The trip began innocently enough, and after their arrival and check-in at their hotel, the good people decided to take a walk out the front door of the hotel in order to get their body clocks in operation.  Not ten feet outside, Honey was knocked to the pavement by a thief absconding with her handbag.  The result was a broken hip, ribs, and significant, unidentifiable pain in her lumbar region.  She was rushed to a hospital, and spent the next five days in intensive care, rather than beneath an umbrella on the deck of a cruise ship.  The refugee from justice escaped.

Honey still limps noticeably, according to Saint George, and she is generally confined to a wheelchair.  Sometimes, thinks Frodo, bad things do happen to good people.

Frodo has been watching the devastation and the carnage surrounding the earthquake and tsunami which has stricken Chile.  Frodo knows that neither Saint George nor Honey share his feelings this evening, but he can't help but hope that something bad has happened to that jerk that caused so much pain.  

Frodo, too, is imperfect.  He is merely a Hobbit.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:06 PM EST
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Sunday, February 28, 2010
Devil Or Angel? I Can't Make Up My Mind.
Mood:  chatty
Topic: "It's A Trap" (6)

There is a debate tonight in the sovereign State of Mississippi, in order for the student body at Ole Miss to determine whether or not to replace "Colonel Reb" as mascot of the school's sports teams.  Despite the "political correctness" of the decision, it struck Fropo's fancy that some true soul-searching was evident whence he noted the competition.

Admiral Ackbar, the fishy-faced rebel commander from the original "Star Wars" movie was supported by students who felt that the movie score would provide an outstanding back drop for halftime. 

Sir William Wallace, the rebel Scot commander portrayed by Mel Gibson in "Braveheart," who also tends to be the namesake of more than one Scottish-descended Confederate.

Spartacus, the commanding leader of a slave revolt against mighty Rome, portrayed by Kirk Douglas in the movie of the same name.

Vince Everett, the rebellious character portrayed by Elvis Presley in the movie, "Jailhouse Rock," who might also offer a few tunes for halftime.

Appropriate it is, thought Frodo, that the audio and the visual art form are the apparent sources for the distinguished nominees.  What bothers him however, is that "Spartacus," for example, was produced in 1960, meaning therefore that votes were submitted by "students" as old as 60.

Is it any wonder that the Ole Miss sports teams suck? 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 7:18 PM EST
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Saturday, February 27, 2010
Oh Bla Di, Oh Bla Da, Life Goes On
Mood:  lucky
Topic: "Change a'comin" (5)

First there was the Goddess Athena, then she who was to be known as Merry, followed by Ted (who sailed with Odysseus), and others who happened upon the words of he who personified the Hobbit.  Thus was born by suggestion he whose words, thoughts, and deeds, are chronicled upon the miasma of that which was once papyrus.  The morrow will change a single number, as the tales of the Hobbit rapidly approach 1000 in total.  The number, he supposes, will continue to grow.

It has been suggested that a "Best of Frodo'" would offer potential commercial success.  Noted also is the desire by many Texans and other borderline lunatics to eradicate all trace of the offal which offends their sensitivities.  What neither seem to realize is that the Hobbit is merely the most ancient of those who first walked upright, and gathered about a fire, to share warmth and to tell stories.  Stories which brought laughter and tears to the camaraderie of those who struggled through each night in the simple hope to merely greet another morning.

One of those in the Fellowship told Frodo that he spent three hours one day simply reading the most current entry, and then the one prior to that, and so on.  At that point he attempted  to document the subject matter, for future reference.  His conclusion was that, not unlike the words of Forrest Gump, one will never know what one gets in Frodo's box of chocolates, if, indeed, anything at all.   It is that diversity which maintains the interest of the Hobbit himself, and allows him to open his soul to those similarly fixated by the infinite combinations of the written word.

There are great struggles before the Hobbit and the Fellowship, but he refuses to allow threat to dominate his attention to the footfalls which mark his journeys.  He is fortunate that some choose to join him with sword and shield abreast to confront the power of the Ring.  It is not for them alone that he composes, rather it is for himself, and the smiles that he sees in his mind's eye, from those who share the firelight.

Happy Birthday to us all, ye good and gentle souls. 


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 11:51 AM EST
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Tuesday, February 23, 2010
I Get Down On My Knees And Pray, We Won't Be Fooled Again
Mood:  irritated
Topic: "Tiger By The Tail" (5)

Frodo is acquainted with a "Groupie."  She collects autographs.  Frodo knows this because, as a gift, she gave him several signatures which, she thought, would be impressive to him and perhaps someday of pecuniary value.  From time-to-time Frodo fingers through his inventory noting the primary presence of professional athletes and concert performers (Frodo divulging only that the names Presley, Simpson, and Woods are absent).  Most recently, he considered the collection after listening to the CBS Evening News devote twelve minutes of broadcast time to the "Confessions of Tiger Woods," at the beginning of the show.

Frodo was struck by the commentary from one of the Woods' "conquests" who noted that "Tiger" had apologized to everyone except those in her particular grouping.  She attempted to relate the rehabilitation process undergone by Mr. Woods as somewhat similar to the "twelve-step process" in which those addicted to alcoholic beverages participate.  Her point being that the "addict" must first apologize to everyone 

Frodo has not heard anyone make the point that the "Groupies" are everywhere, and that those in public life fall to temptation due to sheer volume, at least occasionally.  Frodo has often thought about the distinction between "conquest" and "gift-giving."  Cocktail waitresses, at least those in the acquaintance of Mr. Woods, surely, must be blessed, because of their proclivity to instill gifts upon those with whom they can share a few moments of fame, and perhaps receive an autograph.  Frodo likes to feel that, as a virtual unknown, he earned it, the old fashioned-way(regretting only that he failed to work even harder in times past).

Frodo wandered into the subject-area not because he advocates or decries the "treatment" offered the apologetic protagonist, but because he wonders about the psyche of those who see themselves as innocents in the process.   Some fruit falls from the branch before it is plucked, he supposes.

Wanna bet there isn't a political message in here somewhere?   

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:49 PM EST
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Thursday, February 18, 2010
I've Got a Brand New Pair Of Roller Skates, You've Got a Brand New Key
Mood:  don't ask
Topic: "Another Three-namer"(5)

"Commissioner Frodo, I would like to express my appreciation for your willingness to testify before this Committee, investigating the performance and subsequent recall of Toyota automotive products. . ."

"Uh, Senator Useless (R-GA), excuse me, but I am not here to testify about Toyota, or any other automotive issue."

"Oh, pardon me, Commissioner, I'm afraid that I got my teleprompter notes confused, I realize that you're here to discuss the Public Option. . ."

"Senator, I'm the Commissioner of Internal Revenue."

"Well, what are you doing here in this Healthcare Committee hearing?  Is this another effort by the Administration to. . ."

"Senator, unless I am mistaken, this Hearing, which your office initiated, is intended to gather information about the events of this past Thursday in Austin, Texas."

"What happened?"

"That's why we're here."

"Why is that?"

"Senator, perhaps you'd like to consult with the Minority Chair, Senator Dimwit (R-SC), as to the purpose of this Hearing?"

A slight pause while a conversation takes place away from the microphones.

"I see now, Commissioner Frodo, you're here to help those of us concerned about America's security figure out exactly who this terrorist was that destroyed Federal Property in Austin, and what we can do to see that this Administration begins to do something about these threats to the safety of the American people."

"If that's your purpose, so be it Senator, but let me say that there is no evidence to support this tragedy as anything approaching anything other than the act of a person deranged."

"Hmph, I assume, Commissioner, that you've read the document prepared by Mr. Andrew Joseph Stack which he posted on the Internet prior to his alleged attack on the Austin District Office of the IRS?"

"I have read the document, Senator."


"And what?"

"Is it true?"

"Is what true?  There are more than 5,000 rambling words in the statement."

"Commissioner, you know damn well, that this letter was a cry for help by another Middle-Class American put upon by an oppressive giant behemoth called the Federal Government."

"Senator, I could not begin to speculate on the motivation of this individual, and, as you know, I am unable to comment on any knowledge I may or may not have about the dealings the IRS may or may not have had previously with Mr. Stack."

"Say what?  You mean you won't tell this Committee what the Government did to drive this poor man to such an insane act?  Is this another act of "transparency" under President Obama?"

"Senator, the Congress of the United States, in its wisdom, has issued laws and regulations which specifically prohibit any IRS employee from commenting on the tax affairs of any individual, absent the written approval of the taxpayer himself."

"Even if the taxpayer is dead?"

"That is correct."

"Well, that's a damn dumb law."

"Senator, since all of the tax laws and regulations under the Internal Revenue Code are initiated in Congress, it is probably impolitic of you to criticize your own work without accepting the blame for the confusion, the complexity, and the unfairness thereof.  In the Shire, one might say that it would be fitting for the "fox to smell his own hole first'."

"The Committee thanks the Commissioner. . ."

"Senator, one more thing if you please, there is nothing keeping you from releasing information about who this guy was, and what his problems were."

The Senator's bad knee was bothering him, so he exited the Hearing Room without further comment.


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:23 PM EST
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Wednesday, February 17, 2010
You And I Must Make a Pact
Mood:  crushed out
Topic: "Somethin' Borrowed"(5)

Frodo sometimes has a lot to say, but the placement of words into the paperless compositions that confront the ocular seemingly lessen the content of the intent.  The result is maddening silence.  Occasionally, Frodo will himself be confronted by something so profound in its creation that he, once again, has to stand in silent, maddening, awe.  The result is this new trick.

What follows is one entire exact quotation from a book entitled "The Kite Runner."  It was the first book written by Khaled Hosseini, although it was his second, read by the Hobbit.  For a million reasons, it is a novel you should read, and not try to make into something other than what it is. 

The music you hear in the background is the humming of the Hobbit.

"We saw our first Western together, RIO BRAVO, with John Wayne, at the Cinema Park, across the street from my favorite bookstore.  I remember begging Baba to take us to Iran so we could meet John Wayne.  Baba burst out in gales of his deep-throated laughter--a sound not unlike a truck engine revving up--and, when he could talk again, explained to us the concept of voice dubbing.  Hassan and I were stunned.  Dazed.  John Wayne didn't really speak Farsi and he wasn't Iranian!  He was American, just like the friendly, longhaired men and women we always saw hanging around in Kabul, dressed in their tattered, brightly colored shirts.  We saw RIO BRAVO three times, but we saw our favorite Western, THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN, thirteen times.  With each viewing, we cried at the end when the Mexican kids buried Charles Bronson--who, as it turned out, wasn't Iranian either." 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:35 PM EST
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Friday, February 12, 2010
Everytime I Tried To Tell You The Words Just Came Out Wrong
Mood:  mischievious
Topic: "Read All About It" (5)

"Man Destroys TVs in Wal-Mart Bat Attack."

Frodo was thrilled at the headline in the Metro Section of the once-great, now-sorry, ATLANTA JOURNAL-CONSTITUTION.

In his mind's eye, Frodo envisioned a story whereby the Lords of Bentonville had unknowingly constructed a megalith over the entrance to a cave which harbored millions of hibernants.  Imagine if, dare he say it, they were fruit bats, and the story would go on to explain how the "greeter" at the front of the store had been overwhelmed by a storm of uninvited "window shoppers" and the result had been the destruction of the entire store supply of HDTV's by tons of bat poop.  Frodo would have paid for admission to the claims presentation by store management to the insurance company underwriters.  

Alternatively, the story might have been about some member of the Tea Bag Party who was attacked by the store mascot, i.e. the Wal-Mart Bat, and who destroyed hundreds of TVs attempting to escape from another lunatic in a clown suit.  Frodo dreamed of his make-believe role as Officer Frodo attempting to present charges for malicious mischief to a wary judge.

What he didn't expect to read, given the wording of the headline, was that a miscreant named Wesley Strellis, 23, of Gwinnett County Georgia (home to the "Runaway Bride," the "Barbie Banditos," and the attempted assassin of Larry Flynt) had calmly walked into his local Wal-Mart, selected a baseball bat from the Sporting Goods section, and proceeded to smash the daylights out of every TV on display.  At "press time," there had been no information available as to the motivation for the alleged destruction of more than $22,000 worth of televisions.

Frodo would argue "justifiable self-defense" in Mr. Strellis' behalf if, as is often the case, all the TVs had all been tuned into FOX News.  No rational person could withstand that much bat shit.



Posted by loveysdaddyga at 4:26 PM EST
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Thursday, February 11, 2010
Sometimes We'll Sigh, Sometimes We'll Cry
Mood:  caffeinated
Topic: "Healthcare for Frodo"(5)

Benzedrine, or "Bennies" as they were known in the day, was used to assist struggling scholars somnambulate through the third exam in only two days.  Everyone has heard the story of the "other guy" who dropped his pencil on the floor, and spent the remainder of the available time on the floor, contemplating how the pencil could once again assume its rightful position in his hand.  Frodo heard the story too, and it is one of the reasons he never tried the stuff.  Besides, his Old Man would've killed him.

Frodo is not ashamed to surprise everyone and admit that even as an offspring of the era, he didn't do anything like that (of course, he did everything else imaginable, except land an airplane on an aircraft carrier).  Frodo enjoyed the more temporal pleasures, and he did his best to become an artiste.

In 1965, Frodo was administered anesthesia.  As much as he'd like to profess that surgery was required in order to salve wounds suffered in arguing against another unjust war, it was actually of assistance in correcting the "deviated septum" with which he had been born.   This is relevant only because this past Monday encompassed another anesthesia injection, and helped to convince Frodo that it will be at least another 45 years before he gets wasted in that format, voluntarily.

Frodo has long believed that there have been no white, American, males admitted to medical practice since 1965.  In fact, in some "specialties" the practitioners are even more segregated.  It has been Frodo's experience that every gastroenterologist whom he has ever met was a Jewish guy named Cohen.  Everyone was at least a foot shorter than the Hobbit, and weighed fifty pounds more.  In truth, every one was married to a "Jewish American Princess" whose mother stalked the unwitting medical student until he relented and married her daughter.  Of note is the fact that Frodo has also never seen a gastoenterologist smile, and perhaps the imagination is a better producer of straight lines than the Hobbit at this juncture.

Frodo had never undergone a colonoscopy, which has been the reason behind the sincere and intense haranguing in recent days by a bevy of associates.  Frodo was referred to a guy he had never met, and when Frodo was wheeled into the "medical facility," he was greeted by a smiling Italian, named Tranchina.  Frodo should have known to ask for a fat Jew.

When Frodo came to, Sam was beside him.  The "procedure," scheduled for no more than 30 minutes, lasted more than 50.  It seems that the hacking cough which plagued Frodo throughout January was somehow re-energized by the presence of anesthesia, and Frodo had hacked his way through the entire procedure, and the staff were somewhat concerned about the "restricted airway" which resulted.  In all, Frodo came to with no knowledge of what had transpired, except for the fact that he felt pretty funky.

Frodo has developed a "dry" cough that is accentuated in moments of excitement or mild exercise.  As long as he stays close to cough medicine, which is a narcotic he supposes, he is slowly regaining normalcy.

By the by, all that was discovered was a 'medium-sized" polyp, "way back up in there," and appropriate slides are being pored over by scientists who do not get paid enough for what they do, every single day.

Georgia, a laughingstock by most measures against other parts of America, does require that health insurance providers include the colonoscopy as a part of every policy they write.  That doesn't mean they are cheap, it just means that you can get one easy enough.

Frodo is not ashamed to document this instance of "public enema number one" for all his friends and followers.  He hopes that all will take advantage of a service which helps fight premature demise, even if, sometimes, the cure is like Timothy Leary on steroids.

Frodo hopes you will be there when he next returns to utilize the services of Dr. Tranchina--in 45 years.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:52 PM EST
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