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" Citizen Soldiers" (5)
" Putin' Out" (5)
" Thin Ice"(9)
""I Ain't Got Much" (5)
""Soft Memories" (7)
"$100, Are You Sure?" (5)
"0 Preservative Added"(2)
"105 Minute Workday"(9)
"16 Percent Factor"(3)
"176,000,000 to 1"(8)
"26 Damn Dollars"(6)
"3 Percent Turnout" (2)
"37 Come 11" (5)
"3:10 to Yuma" (7)
"50 Weeks of Reality TV"
"501 (c)(4)"
"54 Pounds" (8)
"8.8 Pounds"(6)
"A Capitol Idea" (6)
"A Code in My Node"
"A Course is a Course"(2)
"A Day At The Beach" (3)
"A Dog Named Bo" (5)
"A Hobbit of an Idea"
"A Man's Army"
"A Patriot Act" (7)
"A Patriotic Act"
"A Perfect World"
"A soldier booed?'(7)
"A Space Odyssey" (4)
"A Taxing Story" (5)
"A Thousand Campfires"(4)
"A Three Hour Tour"(8)
"A Touch of Class"(5)
"A Waisted Day" (5)
"A Woman Scorned"
"Aagh,I'll Pay,I'll Pay"
"Abe Wong, of Gondor"(5)
"Act I, Scene I" (8)
"Act I, Scene II" (8)
"Act I, Scene III" (8)
"Adjustable 2nd Card"(3)
"Adjusting Policies"
"Adjusting the Clock"(8)
"Aegean Adventure" (2)
"Ah ah ah Stayin' Alive"
"Airline Highway" (5)
"Alan Scott" (7)
"All Aboard"
"All Bets Are In" (2)
"All Charged Up"
"All Good Things" (4)
"Allah Be Praised" (5)
"Almost Heaven" (2)
"Alpha Dog"(7)
"Alright, Who Did It?"(7)
"Also Sprach Frodo" (4)
"Always Wear Gloves" (3)
"AM Radio Next?"
"America's Toilet" (6)
"American Cemetery"(8)
"An Admission"
"An Apple A Day" (7)
"An Hour A Day" (6)
"An Ugly American"(4)
"Anchorman" (6)
"And the Winner Is" (2)
"Andy Griffith Redux"
"Another Single Woman?"
"Another Three-namer"(5)
"Another Time/Place"(4)
"Anvil Throwin' Time"(8)
"Apocalypse Now?" (3)
"Aragorn" (4)
"Armored Dildos" (3)
"As Far As We Know" (2)
"Ask Ann Landers" (3)
"Assembly LineDancing"(4)
"Astronaughty" (2)
"Atlanta Times Three"
"Augmentation" (2)
"Augustus Agonistes" (5)
"Aurora Borealis" (8)
"Autumnal Observances"(2)
"Avast You Lubbers"(6)
"Baby Doctors (2)"
"Baby Fiona"(7)
"Baby Nathan Yahoo"(10)
"Back Door Basra (2)"
"Back inthe Saddle Again"
"Bad Boys, Bad Boys"
"Bad Time for Bonzo" (3)
"Balance of Nature" (3)
"Balance of Payments"(5)
"Balancing the Budget"
"Ballamer" (4)
"Bang the Drum Slowly"
"Bank Prank" (5)
"Baptists are Pussies"(7)
"Barbed Wire Escape (2)"
"Barbie Banditos" (3)
"Barely Bearble"(7)
"Barely Defensible" (2)
"Barry Me Not (2)"
"Bathroom onna Right"(3)
"Beach Music" (7)
"Because It Is Hard" (4)
"Beechwood 4-5789"(6)
"Belling the Cat" (2)
"Ben McGee" (3)
"Benny and the Jets"(5)
"Berlusconi in Love"(6)
"Best be straight Boy"(5)
"Best Day/Worst Day"(6)
"Best in the South" (5)
"Best in the World?"(5)
"Betray Us" (3)
"Bettah than Etta"(4)
"Better Man" (3)
"Better Than Pong"
"Big Time Sports" (3)
"Big Words,LittleMind"(6)
"Bilbo's Birthday (2)"
"Bilbo's Little Boy"(5)
"Bilbo's Revenge" (5)
"Bill and Hillary (2)"
"Billy World" (2)
"Bimini Babes" (3)
"Bird is the Word" (3)
"Birmingham Jail" (5)
"Birthday Baggins"
"Birthday Buddies" (7)
"Birthday Memory" (4)
"Birthin' No Babies" (3)
"Bishop to King's Castle"
"Black Friday" (2)
"Black Gold, Texas Tea"
"Black Hole Blues" (4)
"Black Jack"
"Black Russians" (6)
"Black Widow" (3)
"Blackboard Jungle"
"Blame Game" (3)
"Bleached Bones" (5)
"Blitzkrieg Bellini" (2)
"Blood and Swash" (3)
"Bloopers" (5)
"Blue Christmas" (2)
"Bo's Birthday"(5)
"Bob Sikes' Cut"(9)
"Bob, Bob, Bobbit" (3)
"Bobby, not Ben"(6)
"Bon Air Bellicose" (4)
"Bon Giorno" (6)
"Bona Lisa" (5)
"Bonds-v-Skvara" (3)
"Boo Boo Poo Poo"(9)
"Boromir & Galadriel"(5)
"Bottled in Thyme"(7)
"Bottom Ten"(9)
"Bovine Stem Cells?"
"Boy, I Say Boy"
"Boycott BP"
"Breaker, Breaker" (4)
"Breakin' rules" (7)
"Breaking News" (7)
"Brer Fox (2)"
"Bridge at Andau"(11)
"Bring Back Ross" (2)
"Bring the Bowl"
"Broken News"(10)
"Brother of the Ring"
"Brownback Mountain"
"Brownie Hawkeye"
"Buckwheat Breathes" (2)
"Bumper Sticker"
"Burn Baby, Burn" (3)
"Bush in the Bullrushes"
"Bush Baby, Bush (2)"
"Bush is Chinese?" (2)
"Bush Press Conference"
"Bush-Bashers Be We (2)"
"Busman's Holiday(2)"
"Butt...Butt...Butt" (3)
"Butterflies? Sheesh!"
"Buttermilk Drops" (3)
"Buy a Subaru" (11)
"Buy Stock in America"(6)
"Cabin Fever" (5)
"Cain Not Able" (7)
"Cake in the Rain"
"Cake in the Rain"(3)
"Call Me Ishmael" (3)
"Callista, an Albino?"(7)
"Camp Pleasant" (2)
"Can She Name Them?(2)"
"Can You Hear Me Now?"
"Canaan Conspiracy"(6)
"Candygram" (4)
"Captive Audience"(6)
"Caramel or Carmel?"(3)
"Carolina Cougar(2)"
"Carolina Curmudgeon" (5)
"Cartoon Characters" (3)
"Case of Packy Stann"(3)
"Cash crash crashed?"(5)
"Cat Fight" (5)
"Caterpillar Quandry" (3)
"Causal Relationships"(9)
"Cause It's One, (2)"
"Ceramic s"
"Ch-ch-changin'" (4)
"Change a'comin" (5)
"Change is Good" (5)
"Change?" (3)
"Changin' Channels" (2)
"Chapter 13"
"Chariots of Fire"
"Chariots' a' Comin'"(4)
"Chassahowitzka" (2)
"Chauncey Gardner"(7)
"Chemical Alley" (6)
"Cheney of Fools" (2)
"Cherem" (3)
"Chew my Gazebo, Willya?"
"Chief Noc-a-Homa" (3)
"Chingachgook Lives"
"Chipmonkeys Alert (2)"
"Chipper" (6)
"Christian Balls"(10)
"Christian the Lion"(4)
"Christian Valuelessness"
"Christmas Communique"(3)
"Christmas, 1936" (2)
"Chutzpah Hooters" (4)
"Cilled a Bar?" (3)
"Cindy, oh Cindy"(4)
"Citizen Soldiers" (2)
"Clark and Lois (2)"
"Classified Ads are Cool"
"Claymore Gregg" (3)
"Clean Machine" (2)
"Clean up in Aisle 4!"(4)
"Climb It Chains" (8)
"Clinton Cuts" (7)
"Clone Chipper,Please"(4)
"Cockatiel Lounge" (2)
"College of the Shire"(6)
"Combat Kelly (2)"
"Come On Baby"(8)
"Come on Down" (3)
"Comin' Clean" (5)
"Comin' Home" (3)
"Commencement (2)"
"Comparables" (6)
"Condi for President" (3)
"Cone of Silence" (4)
"Conflagration" (3)
"Confusion Reigns"(10)
"Congress Goes to War (2)
"Congress' Schmidthead"
"Conspiracy Theory" (4)
"Copy Cat Chinese" (5)
"Country Roads" (7)
"Crawford Convention" (2)
"Crikey" (2)
"Crime and Punishment(2)"
"Crotch Rocket Delite"(4)
"Cult of the Wild"(7)
"Curious, George?"
"Currahee" (5)
"Da Juice Is Back" (3)
"Dad" (5)
"Damages Done (2)"
"Damn Close" (4)
"Damn It To Hell" (5)
"Damn Lies" (7)
"Dandy Dale" (7)
"Danger Will Robinson"(5)
"Danger,Will Robinson"(8)
"Darth Dick" (5)
"Darwin's Company" (4)
"Das Boot"
"Das Ende" (6)
"Date With David" (2)
"Day of Infamy" (4)
"Day-O, Me Wan Go"(7)
"De Tar-Ball Baby" (6)
"Dead Honkey"
"Dearest Bilbo"
"Debits on the Left?" (2)
"Decisions, Decisions"(6)
"Deep and Dark" (5)
"Deep Shiite" (3)
"Degree of Separation"(6)
"Deja 1958 Over Again"
"Deja Who?"(7)
"Delano" (4)
"Diazinon Ditties (2)"
"Dick Clark Top 10(2)"
"Dimmer Switch" (6)
"Dirty Copter" (4)
"Do They Like Kool Aid?"
"Doctor, Mr. MD"(9)
"Dodged a Bullet"(7)
"Dogmobile" (3)
"Dogs Rule"
"Doing the Right Thing"
"Don't Cut My DSL" (5)
"Don't Feed the Animals"
"Dont Touch That Dial"(6)
"Doofus" (9)
"Doohan's Delight" (3)
"Doris Miller" (6)
"Dorothy Rose" (4)
"Double Deal" (6)
"Doubting Thomases" (3)
"Doug Williams"(4)
"Dover" (4)
"Down Below Back Home"(4)
"Downtown Cardinals"(9)
"Dr. Phil" (5)
"Dubai-Bye" (3)
"Dueling Banjos" (3)
"Dumb and Dumber" (3)
"Dumb As We Wanna Be"(3)
"Dumber Than Dirt" (3)
"Dumbest Politico (2)"
"Eager Uighurs" (4)
"Early Admission" (8)
"Eight Nine Four" (4)
"Elect Jeff Jackson"(10)
"Elizabeth I" (5)
"Emily Latella Lives"
"Emperor's Clothes" (2)
"End of the Line"
"Ending Sams Patience"(7)
"Engine Uprisin'" (4)
"Ensign Pulver"(5)
"EOTUS" (5)
"Equinox Approaching"(10)
"Equinoxious" (4)
"Escalator Escalatin'"(5)
"ESP" (6)
"Etchings, Anyone?"(5)
"Ethel Merman Lives"
"Eve, It's Oil!"
"Evenin' Govnah" (6)
"Everyday Miracles"
"Evil Thoughts" (3)
"Eye Opener" (3)
"Eyes of a Gorilla"
"Fair is Fare"(7)
"Falcon" (8)
"Fall Ball" (3)
"Fallin' Behind"(11)
"Falling Apart" (9)
"Fargo Felines" (5)
"Fashionable Frodo" (5)
"Father Ed" (3)
"Faux les Bas" (2)
"Female Insurgency (2)"
"Ferengi or Ferangi?" (3)
"Fergit? Hell No!"
"Film at 11"
"Findin' William"(11)"
"Firing US Attorneys" (3)
"First Freeze" (6)
"First Learn to Lose"
"First National Bank" (5)
"First Sentence" (8)
"Five Easy Pieces" (4)
"Float Yer Boat" (4)
"Flower Power (2)"
"Foe Years Old" (4)
"Follow the Money"
"Followin' Ava" (4)
"For More Years" (3)
"Forbidden Fruit"
"Fords and Dads" (2)
"Foreclosure Follies" (7)
"Foreclosure Notice" (6)
"Forest Primeval"(8)
"Form 666" (3)
"Forms For Everything"(6)
"Foundling Fathers"(7)
"Fourteen Years Ago?"(5)
"Fox Views" (3)
"Frack You" (7)
"Frances Died Today"(7)
"Fred's Dead Head" (3)
"Free at Last"
"Free Hidden Telecast"(4)
"Freedom? Hell No" (3)
"Friend by Your Side" (3)
"Friend by your Side" (4)
"Friendly Persuasion" (5)
"Friends of Bill" (7)
"Frist Friends"
"Frodo and Housman" (2)
"Frodo and Jesus"
"Frodo and Revere?"(7)
"Frodo And Truckers (2)"
"Frodo Dissents" (6)
"Frodo Not Foggo (2)"
"Frodo of Arabia(2)"
"Frodo Op" (5)
"Frodo Regrets"
"Frodo Study Group" (2)
"Frodo visits Bilbo"
"Frodo's Almanac"(9)
"Frodo's Bad Day"
"Frodo's Book Club"(5)
"Frodo's Dilemma" (3)
"Frodo's Faux Pas" (3)
"Frodo's Final Four" (3)
"Frodo's Foreign Policy"
"Frodo's Hall of Fame"(4)
"Frodo's Newer Friend"(6)
"Frodo's Retirement"(8)
"Frodo's Revenge"
"Frodo's Revenge"(7)
"Frodo's Solutions" (6)
"Frodo's Xmas Story"(6)
"Frodo, James Frodo" (3)
"Furriners" (4)
"Gainful Employment" (3)
"Galadriel Is No More"(3)
"Gandalf's Challenge (2)"
"Garland Duesenberry" (2)
"Gas Guzzler A-Go-Go"
"Gasp, Wheeze (2)"
"Gay Faux Holes" (5)
"Genarlow de Chariot" (3)
"Genesis Ignored" (3)
"Geneva Accords Redux"
"Geography Lesson" (3)
"George to the Rescue"(3)
"Georgia on my Mind"(3)
"Getting Your Wish" (3)
"Gidget Goes Gondor"(7)
"Gimme Head With Hair"(3)
"Girls Night Out" (6)
"Give 'em Hell, Tom" (5)
"Give Heath a Chance (2)"
"Give Us Your Tired. . ."
"Giving Way to Anger" (2)
"Glenn Frey"(11)
"Glory Days"
"Goin' Home" (3)
"Gondor Goodfellas"(9)
"Gondor Gravitas" (3)
"Good Cop" (7)
"Good Day America" (6)
"Good Friday It Was"(9)
"Good Friday, Maybe"(11)
"Good Ol Mountain Dew"(5)
"Good Son"
"Goodbye Kids (2)"
"Goodbye, Ethan" (2)
"Goodman is Hard to Find"
"Goose Again"
"GOP Convention" (3)
"Gotta Have a Home (2)"
"Grading on a Curve"
"Graffiti Government" (2)
"Great American Hero"
"Great American Hero" (2)
"Greatest Duet Ever"(6)
"Greed is Good"(5)
"Greetings" (8)
"Grissom not Gruesome"(4)
"Groupies for Edwards"(4)
"Guess We Forgot?"(8)
"Guest Workers (2)"
"Guns of August" (7)
"Guts of August" (3)
"Gwinnett Again?" (3)
"Halo, 1,2,3?" (3)
"Ham I Am" (3)
"Handi-Wipes" (3)
"Hang 'em High" (2)
"Hanky Time, Ladies"
"Happens in Threes"(5)
"Happy Anniversary"(9)
"Happy Mardi Gras"(2)
"Harpo Speaks"
"Harry" (2)
"Harry's Bar-Venice" (2)
"Hawkeye, Redux"(7)
"Haz Mat" (3)
"He Ate the Olive!"(7)
"He is deeply missed (2)"
"He Picks Up Poop?" (5)
"He Took De Bait" (8)
"He's 'Little Ricky'?"(7)
"Healthcare for Frodo"(5)
"Heart Soar Like Hawk"(5)
"Heck of an Engineer"(7)
"Hedge Fund Hippies" (3)
"Heeeerrre's Frodo" (3)
"Heeere's Johnny" (6)
"Heeerrrre's Frodo" (3)
"Hello, Mr. Wilson" (5)
"Hello? Central?" (3)
"Help Wanted"
"Helping Frodo" (4)
"Here Come da Judge" (2)
"Here Come da Judge" (6)
"Here Kitty-Kitty" (4)
"Here Kitty-kitty"(5)
"Here's Help, Now Leave"
"Here's Your Watch" (3)
"Hi Jinx" (5)
"Hide Anythin' Edible"(5)
"High Chair" (2)
"Hobbits And a Truck"(4)
"Hold On Romo" (2)
"Hold the Malaise" (4)
"Honey Dew List"(9)
"Hopalong Frodo"(9)
"Horn of Africa (2)"
"Horse Latitudes" (6)
"Horsehockey" (3)
"Hosea Can You See" (3)
"Hosea Can You See?" (3)
"Hot Tamale" (3)
"Hotel Plimhimmon"(9)
"HOV or DOA?" (3)
"How Dogs Love Us" (10)
"How Many Delegates?"
"How Many Delegates?" (3)
"How Now Broun Cow"(8)
"Hraka" (4)
"Huckleberry Hound" (3)
"Hund Scheisse CSI" (5)
"Hungarian Answer" (4)
"I Believe in Music (2)"
"I can hope, can't I?"(9)
"I Could Cry" (2)
"I Inspired You?"
"I say it's Spinach. . ."
"I'll Get Back to You"(3)
"I'll Huff and Puff" (4)
"I'll Take a Vowel"
"I'm Baaack" (2)
"I'mSo In LoveWithYou"(7)
"Ides of March Again" (4)
"Ides of Texas" (6)
"IED's in Congress" (2)
"If Frodo Ran The DHS"(5)
"If It Ain't OneThing"(5)
"If the truth be told"(6)
"If You Remember,Then"(6)
"If" (6)
"Imagine,General Newt"(6)
"Imitation of Life" (5)
"Immigration Reform (2)"
"In a Galaxy Far Away(2)"
"In a Pig's Eye" (4)
"In Dog We Trust" (10)
"In the Beginning"
"In the Beginning" (3)
"Incomparable Moron" (4)
"Indoor Toilets Rule" (4)
"Intersex Village" (2)
"Interstate Parking (2)"
"Ion Propulsion"(7)
"Iran's Tom Hayden"
"Irish Spring"(3)
"Is it in the Water?"
"Is That in America?" (2)
"Is You da One,Jimmy?"(3)
"Islamic Fundamentals"(8)
"Isn't Amnesty Good?"(3)
"Isn't Change Good?"(6)
"It's A Trap" (6)
"It's Just a Movie"
"It's Just Business"
"Ja, Wir Konnen."
"Jack Crabb" (10)
"Jambo Jumbo" (3)
"Japanese Movie?" (3)
"Je suis Frodo"(10)
"Jefferson Rock" (3)
"Jes' the facts Ma'am"(4)
"Jim Crow" (5)
"Joad Family Reunion?"(6)
"Joad Jobs" (4)
"Joe Soptic" (8)
"Jonestown Redux" (3)
"Jose and Claudia" (4)
"Joshua Generation" (3)
"Just Another Day" (3)
"Just Clearin' Brush"(3)
"Just Desserts (2)"
"Just Desserts" (7)
"Just Say 'Nyet'"(7)
"Just to CU Smile" (5)
"Kandy Kakes 2"
"Ken Meets Jack"
"Key Word Apology" (6)
"Killer's Geraldine" (4)
"Kilowatts Per Mile" (6)
"Kiribati Republic"(6)
"Kirk Saves Nemo"
"Kiss a Girl Goodbye"(2)
"Knew You Not Pompey?"(3)
"Kodak Moment" (2)
"Kool Sailboat" (4)
"Korea, Korea" (2)
"Kudlow's Kreeps"(4)
"Lady of Rohan" (3)
"Land Ho"(8)
"Lean and Hungry " (2)
"Leeward, I Say, Leeward"
"Legs Diamond" (3)
"Legs" (3)
"Leslie" (4)
"Lessons Learned" (2)
"Let Them Eat Cake"
"Let's Bake Cookies" (3)
"Let's Play A Game" (6)
"Letter Home" (6)
"Letter to Lou" (4)
"Liberal Lament" (40)
"Lief, Leaf, or Loaf"(8)
"Life In A Red State"
"Lights of Chicago"
"Like a Barack" (2)
"Limbaugh Hero"(7)
"Lime Bandits" (3)
"Lime is on my side" (6)
"Limestone Cowboys" (3)
"Lip Smackin' Good?"(6)
"Little Big Horn (2)"
"Little Houdini" (5)
"Little Sky"
"Littlest Angel" (2)
"Livin' is Easy?"(7)
"Loans and Deposits" (4)
"Lois, I Never Lie"(8)
"Lonely Avenue" (3)
"Lonesome Frodo" (3)
"Look away Dixieland"(6)
"Look for da Union Label"
"Look Who's Talkin'" (2)
"Lookin' Back, Texas" (3)
"Lost Weekend"(8)
"Low Water, Slow Flow"(3)
"Lox? Or Locks?" (7)
"Lunatic Cattle Call"(8)
"M-G-M Material"
"Ma Bell is Baaack" (3)
"Ma Bell Lives" (7)
"Macaca, Your Macaca" (2)
"Mad Dogs&Englishmen"(6)
"Made You Look" (6)
"Magic Fridge (2)"
"Magic Moments"(7)
"Make Jobs, Not War"(7)
"MaMa's Little Babies"(3)
"Man For All Seasons" (2)
"Man of the Century"
"Man Up, Harry"(6)
"Man's Best Friend?"
"Many happy returns"
"March Forth" (8)
"Marking Time" (3)
"Martyr Magic" (2)
"Marvelous Mac"(8)
"Mary Lee & Genie"(8)
"Master of None" (8)
"May Day, Comrade"(7)
"Maynard G. Krebs" (7)
"Medal of Honor" (6)
"Media is the Message(2)"
"Media Reporting" (6)
"Mental Healthcare" (4)
"Michelle, my Belle"(7)
"Mick's Day"(8)
"Mickey and Me"(6)
"MidSummer Nights Dream"(7)
"Mikileaks" (6)
"Missionary Position" (3)
"Missionary Position" (7)
"Mississipp' Sippin'"(2)
"Mister Roberts" (8)
"Moamar:The Movie"(7)
"Mohair Sam" (5)
"Mon Petit Shoe"(4)
"Monkeys in Mississippi"
"Moody Blue"(7)
"Moody" (7)
"Mooman" (3)
"Moon Over Miami"(4)
"Mooosic" (5)
"Moovin' On Up" (2)
"Mordor or Antarctica?"
"More Than Some" (4)
"Moultrie Poultry" (3)
"Mount Mulch" (2)
"Movin' On Up" (2)
"Mr. Toad's Motorcar (2)"
"Mumbai, My Lord" (4)
"Murtha For President(2)"
"N. Leroy" (7)
"Name That Tune"(4)
"Nascaroil" (4)
"Nat King Cole Sucks"(5)
"NCAA---Blech!" (7)
"Nein, nein, nein"(7)
"Never Doubt Bilbo"
"Never heard of him"
"New Life, Old Leaves"(4)
"Newest Friend"(8)
"Newman's Own" (4)
"Newt/Mitt '12" (3)
"Next Case" (6)
"Next Door Neighbors" (3)
"NFL Commissioner (2)"
"NFL Trade" (3)
"Nielsen Ratings" (2)
"Nine Months PG" (7)
"Nixon Agonistes" (3)
"No Faux News?" (3)
"No Googling Allowed"(4)
"No Humor Today"
"No Peanut Left Behind"
"No Sale" (3)
"No, Not Russian" (4)
"No-No, No" (3)
"Nobody Even Asked"(8)
"Noo Yawk Stateamind"(2)
"Not a Bang,a Whimper"(7)
"Not Funny, Dr Jones"(5)
"Not North Carolina" (6)
"Not Percy Sledge?" (3)
"Not Percy Sledge?"(3)
"Number One" (3)
"Number Please?"(7)
"Number, Please"(8)
"Numbers Don't Lie" (3)
"Numbers Racket" (4)
"Obama Doctrine" (5)
"Obama's Generals"(5)
"October Dreamin'" (4)
"Ode to an Athlete (2)"
"Ogal Preston Crews (2)"
"Oh Kenny Boy (2)"
"Oh the possibilities"(8)
"Oh Ye White Whale" (3)
"Oh, Sadaharu" (2)
"OK Baptist Chorale" (4)
"Old McDonnell's Farm"(7)
"Old Time Baseball"(9)
"Old Times Topic" (6)
"Olympic Changes" (4)
"On Her Code?" (4)
"On Vacation, I'm Sure"
"One Act Play"
"One Down, More Comin'"
"One For the Good Guys"
"One More Round" (4)
"One Orbit of the Sun"(2)
"Only 434 More to Go" (2)
"Opportunity Sox" (3)
"Or the Yellow Peril?"(6)
"Osama Can You See?" (2)
"Our God Is Better" (3)
"Our Town" (5)
"Our Town" (8)
"Out Damned Spot (2)"
"Out of Kilter" (5)
"Out of the Ashes" (4)
"Overdue Books" (3)
"Pace Car" (3)
"Painted Toenails?"(4)
"Panic Attack"(10)
"Pants on Fire"
"Parade of Horribles"(4)
"Part Two" (5)
"Pass the Malais" (4)
"Passion Flowers" (5)
"Past is Prologue" (3)
"Pat bin Laden"
"Patsy for America"
"Peaceful Easy Feelin"(3)
"Peacetakescourage" (3)
"Permanent Vacation" (5)
"Persons of the Year"
"Philadelphia Bunnyface?"
"Philosopher Kings" (4)
"Pickled Cabbage?"
"Picture of Frodo"(5)
"Pilot Wales" (2)
"Pirate Booty"
"Pit Bull Revenge"(4)
"Pius Baloney I" (7)
"Place of Good Abode" (3)
"Plaque 42W, Line 12"
"Play It Again, Sam"
"Play Melancholy Baby"
"Play the Frodo Game"(6)
"Playin' Possum" (3)
"Poland Parole Patrol"(5)
"Polish or Polish?"
"Poll Results Just In"
"Poly Sci 101"(9)
"Poor People"
"Pope for a Day" (10)
"Pope-a-Dope" (5)
"Popeil Veg-o-matic"
"Potty Training" (3)
"Power Surge"(9)
"Pray for, Gas?" (4)
"Pray With Me Henry" (2)
"Pre-emptive Passages"(2)
"Preemptive Invasion"
"Presidential Erection"
"Problem, Officer?" (3)
"Problem, Officer?" (5)
"Problems?" (4)
"Promises Made" (3)
"Promises To Keep" (5)
"Promises to Keep"(9)
"Proud I Am"
"Proud Walter" (5)
"Proxy Server Error" (4)
"Prudent" (10)
"Psychiatrist,5 cents"(6)
"Pugnacious Maverick"
"Pulitzer Means Squat"(8)
"Punxatawney Bush"
"Puppy Angel" (2)
"Purple Pill Please" (2)
"Putin Tang" (3)
"Qaddafi Wins, For Now"(7)
"Qualified? Yeah Right!"
"Quayle Hunting"
"Queen of Memphis"
"Queen of the Damned"
"Quittin' Time" (8)
"Quoth the Raven"(7)
"QVC and Dorothy"
"Qwest For Truth (2)"
"Radio and TV"(7)
"Rain, Rain, Go Away?"(4)
"Rainy Day in Georgia(2)"
"Raptor Rapture" (7)
"Read All About It" (5)
"Real Men Don't Shop"(4)
"Rechargin' da Shire"(11)
"Recycled Air (Gasp)" (2)
"Red Sky at Morning" (3)
"Red Sky at Morning"(5)
"Reduced Flow Flush"(5)
"Reimers' Rhymers"(5)
"Remember These?"
"Remembering Jessica" (2)
"Remote Outpost" (7)
"Render Unto Wright" (4)
"Reverend LeRoy" (3)
"Rice on Hot Tin Roof(2)"
"Rick Santa Anna"(5)
"Right Not Privilege" (4)
"Road to Damascus"
"Road Trip" (5)
"Roads Scholar" (8)
"Rocket Man"
"Rocket Man" (5)
"Rockets Red Glare" (5)
"Rocks Rox"(8)
"Roger the Dodger"(4)
"Roger Williams Sucks"(2)
"Rooty-Toot" (6)
"Rose Garden Promises"(4)
"Royal Portrait" (2)
"Rubber Ducky" (2)
"Rubio's Cube"(6)
"Rules" (6)
"Rules" (7)
"Rumblin' Bumblin'" (3)
"Rumsfeldstiltskin" (2)
"Run Eddie, Run" (5)
"Run Far, Run Fast"(7)
"Run Forrest, Run"
"Run, old hare!"
"Runaround Tsu"
"Runs in the Family" (3)
"Rwanda Go Home?"(6)
"S'long Sarong (2)"
"Sabato Knows" (2)
"Sam Shopping" (2)
"San Juan de Capistrano"
"Sandy Hook" (8)
"Santos v. Vinnick"
"Satire-Apology to Mick"
"Sauron Psalms" (2)
"Sauron's Scythe" (4)
"Savin' Gas" (4)
"SAWB" (3)
"Say Cheese"(7)
"Say It Ain't So,Jo"(4)
"Say It Ain't So,Joe" (2)
"School Holiday" (4)
"Science Marches On"
"Scooter" (2)
"Scott Free" (4)
"Sears and Loveaduck" (5)
"Second Line (2)"
"Second of Two" (4)
"Seems Like Yesterday"(4)
"Seems Like Yesterday"(9)
"Seen Any Blue Swans?"(3)
"Selective Service"(8)
"September Twelfth"(5)
"Serendipity Strikes" (3)
"Serge is Working?" (3)
"Serious,For A Change"(6)
"Seven Samurai" (5)
"Sex or Gender?"
"Sexiest Man Alive"(5)
"Shaken, not stirred"(10)
"She is No Ma Kettle"
"Sheep and Museums"
"Sheep in Mindanao?"
"Shenandoah Rangers"(7)
"Shenandoah" (6)
"Shire Sunset"
"Shock and Awe" (4)
"Shoot 'em, Vern"
"Side by Side" (7)
"Sidin' With Anemone"(4)
"Silence of the Lambs"(2)
"Silent, but deadly"(6)
"Sing It Again" (4)
"Sink or Swim"
"Sir A Gut" (3)
"Six Days on the Road"
"Skull and Bones"(4)
"Skunk Cabbage" (3)
"Sleepy Time (2)"
"Slippin' and a Slidin'"
"Sludge Stimulus" (5)
"Small Businesses-Ha!"(6)
"Small Gray Planet"(2)
"Small Victories"
"Smellin' Roses"
"Smirk Jerk" (2)
"Smokin' Pesticide Dope"
"Smoochy Time" (4)
"Snazis" (2)
"Snow Tan"(11)
"Snowiches" (6)
"So Who's Sluggo?" (2)
"Social Security Reform"
"Social Security" (7)
"Socrates and Friends"(5)
"Soldier of the King"
"Soldier of the Storm(2)"
"Solitary Isolation" (3)
"Solving a Problem"(9)
"Somethin' Borrowed"(5)
"Something in Commons"(5)
"Sometimes Life Sucks"(4)
"Sorcerer's Apprentice"
"Soul Train" (5)
"Souter Rules, Dude"
"Southern Ladies" (5)
"Sow's Ear from Silk"(5)
"Space Poop" (3)
"Speechifyin'" (4)
"Speedy Gonzales" (3)
"Spelling, -23" (6)
"Sperm Count" (3)
"Spiro T. Palin" (4)
"Spoonerized" (6)
"Spring Equal Knox" (3)
"St. George" (4)
"Stan & Ollie"(7)
"State Dinner" (3)
"States' Rahts" (3)
"Sticker Shock"
"Stolen Bases" (3)
"Stragedy" (2)
"Stragedy" (8)
"Strangerthan fiction"(6)
"Strip Searched" (9)
"Stupidly" (5)
"Stupor Bowl Sunday"(2)
"Subsidizing Seeds"(6)
"Sunday, Sunday"(9)
"Sunni Daze" (4)
"Supportin' da Troops"(2)
"Supportin' da Troops"(3)
"Survey Says" (6)
"Sweet Georgia Brown"
"Swiss Miss" (5)
"Take a letter, dearie"
"Take It Off Baby" (5)
"Takes a Worried Man"(4)
"Talibanme Banana"(8)
"Talkin' Turkey" (3)
"Tax Driver" (9)
"Taxpayer Assistance (2)"
"Tea Olive" (7)
"Tear Down That Wall"(4)
"Teflon Causes Cancer"
"Ten Cent Coke" (3)
"Tennessee Stinks" (6)
"Term Paper" (5)
"Terminal? Great!"
"Terre Bonne" (6)
"Terrible Swift Sword"(6)
"Terrible Two's" (2)
"Tess of D'Uberville"(8)
"Tess of the Dorghis" (8)
"Texas Exes" (8)
"Thank the Academy"(4)
"Thank You Rand Paul"
"Thank You, Molly" (2)
"Thanks, Dad" (3)
"Thar She Blows"
"That Looks Like Me"(5)
"That's the way it is"(5)
"Thawt Yuze a Toad"(7)
"The 60 Year Struggle"(5)
"The Atlanta Eye" (6)
"The Blue Dog"(11)
"The Boston Massacre"(9)
"The Boys of '63" (8)
"The Brotherhood Begins"
"The Eyes of Texas"
"The Forum" (2)
"The Future is Now (2)"
"The Garden of Good"
"The Good Book" (4)
"The Good Doctor"(6)
"The Great Quixote" (9)
"The Grumpy Dwarf"(9)
"The Important Stuff"
"The Italian Stallion"
"The Litany" (6)
"The Longest Day" (5)
"The Non-Issue" (3)
"The Perfect Storm" (2)
"The Pre-Fellowship"(4)
"The Prophecy"
"The Real Rhett" (4)
"The Second Amendment"
"The Silver Sow Award"(3)
"The Splurge" (4)
"The Turtle" (3)
"The Union Label"(6)
"There is a Virginia" (2)
"They're He-ear" (4)
"Thin Ice, Frodo" (4)
"Third Strike Nuance (2)"
"This Day in History"(3)
"This, Too, Shall Pass"
"Three A.M." (4)
"Three Siblings" (4)
"Three Votes Short" (3)
"Thriller" (9)
"Thunder Road"
"Thy Name be Peace" (2)
"Tie a Yellow Ribbon" (3)
"Tiger By The Tail" (5)
"Time to Cut Brush" (3)
"Time With Friends" (3)
"Times A' Wastin'" (3)
"Title IX Disaster" (5)
"To Arms, To Arms"
"To the Hoop (2)"
"Together Again" (3)
"Tokyo Rush" (5)
"Tom Bombadil isDying"(7)
"Tom Bombadil Returns"(9)
"Tom" (4)
"Top Two Percent" (7)
"Tora Bora Lora. . ." (2)
"Torah, Torah..."(6)
"Toro, Andalay,Toro (2)"
"Touchdown Swabbie" (3)
"Tovarich" (4)
"Tra La,Spring,Tra La"(6)
"Train Wreck"(8)
"Transparency" (4)
"Travel Sucks" (4)
"Tree Fishin' (2)"
"Trees v. Forest"(9)
"Trekking Mount Doom" (2)
"Tripod Hackers?"(9)
"Trouble Sleepin'" (3)
"Truckin' for Isaiah" (3)
"Truly,Totally, Nuts"(3)
"Tuesdays with Nancy"(4)
"Tullahoma Tequila (2)"
"Tumbler" (3)
"Turkey Day Walkabout"(2)
"TW3" (3)
"Tweety Pie" (2)
"Twenty to Life" (5)
"Twismas Tunes" (5)
"Twisted Sister" (4)
"Two Americas" (4)
"Two Americas" (9)
"Two Steps Back" (4)
"Two Thousand, Ate" (4)
"Unademdaze" (4)
"Unborn in the USA" (6)
"Unbroken Circle" (7)
"Unconditional Surrender"
"Unconventional, you say?"(7)
"Underdog Shmunderdog"(4)
"Unmarked Grave" (6)
"Untimely Events"
"UR Number Is Up" (7)
"Vacation Brouhaha" (3)
"Vacation Comin'" (2)
"Vandals at the Gates"(2)
"Vat of Chocolate"(6)
"Vero Possumus" (4)
"Veto Shmetoe (2)"
"Vick Drops, Cough!" (3)
"Video Thriller"(5)
"Vinson Can Gogh"(6)
"Virgin Birth" (2)
"Virginia is 4 Lovers"(4)
"Virginia Lovers" (4)
"Vom Winde Verweht" (2)
"Vote for Steve" (2)
"Vote Frodo (Not)"(7)
"W is for Wuss""
"Wait 'til Next Year" (2)
"Wait 'Til Next Year"(2)A
"Walkin' in the Woods"(5)
"Walkin' the Dogs"(8)
"Walkin' the Walk"
"Wall of Libertad"
"War on Middle Class"(2)
"War on Tara"
"Warm Bucket of Spit"(4)
"Was Miers His Attorney?"
"Watch Mr. Wizard" (3)
"Water Into Wine" (11)
"Water into Wine?"
"Watts da plan, Man?"(5)
"Wayne Johnson"(4)
"We Make a Better Day"(5)
"We Sank a Truck"
"We Will Rock You"
"Weather Channel Follies"
"Weddin' Down South" (3)
"Wedding Bell Blues"
"Weeds Way Is Up?"(5)
"Weepy Seepy Peepee"(3)
"Welcome Home, Soldier"
"Well, Duh!"
"Well, Poop"(8)
"West Wing Redux" (2)
"What Goes Around" (6)
"What if JR Shot Back"(9)
"What is a Shimkus?" (2)
"What Mark Felt"
"What Schedule?" (2)
"What Time Is It (2)"
"What We Have Here (2)"
"What Would Mitt Do?"(3)
"What's A Cubit?"
"What's a Sgarbi?" (5)
"What, Me Worry?"
"What, Me Worry?" (3)
"Where Sun Doan Shine"(8)
"Where's Frodo?" (5)
"Where's my puppy?"(4)
"Where's the Beef?"
"Where's the Fire?"(5)
"Whither Frodo?"
"Whitman's Sampler"(6)
"Who Dat Say Who Dat?"
"Who dat?" (2)
"Who did it?" (2)
"Who Torted?"
"Who Was That Guy?" (5)
"Who's In Line?"(6)
"Who's We, White Boy?"(3)
"Why are you here"?(3)
"Why are you here?" (3)
"Why Black Folks Cheered"
"Wiccan I do for you?"(2)
"Wicked Pickett"
"Wide Stance" (4)
"Will better be?"(7)
"Willard" (7)
"Willie B had heart" (5)
"Winchester Women (2)"
"Wink at the Moon"
"Winter Solstice"
"Wishin' and Hopin'"
"Wither Channels" (5)
"Wither Weather"(9)
"Wither Weather?"(4)
"WMD in the Shire"(6)
"Words To Live By"(7)
"Workin' on Night Moves"
"Worst Candidate Ever"(8)
"Worth Waiting For?"(5)
"Write a Letter" (7)
"Writer's Block" (2)
"Wrong Again, Frodo"(3)
"Wyomin' Gloamin'" (2)
"Xmas in Shreveport"(6)
"Yahoo" (4)
"Yankee Humor" (5)
"Yankee Ingenuity"
"Yella Rose a Taxes"(4)
"Yellow Peril" (3)
"Yes, No, Who Knows?" (2)
"You Betcha" (6)
"You Put Your Eye Out"(2)
"You Snake in the Grass"
"You Take the High Road"
"Zimmerman Noted"(6)
"Zinni in Bloom (2)"
"Zounds, Sounds!" (5)
"Zounds, you varlet"(4)
Southern Pine Beetles"(4)
The H Word" (6)
Citizens of Middle Earth
The Fellowship of the Ring
The Return of the King
Frodo, Keeper of the Ring
Saturday, July 31, 2010
She Don't Often Say What She Really Means
Mood:  quizzical
Topic: "Heeere's Johnny" (6)

On this, the last day of the seventh month beyond the commencement of the second decade of the twenty-first century, and the day on which Chelsea Clinton says "Bye Daddy," Frodo found himself in an evocative mood.  Over his morning coffee, he scanned the print edition of the news of the day, and discovered a happening he would not otherwise have imagined.  It seems that a Mr. John L. Carson of Atlanta passed away, and since his obituary highlighted his involvement in the founding of the Georgia Music Hall of Fame, Frodo decided to learn a little something about the man.  What follows is a direct quote from the obituary:  "In addition to his son, Carson is survived by a daughter, Cindy Donegan, a number of grandchildren, and his widow, to whom he was married for 57 years, and who asked not to be named. . ."


Frodo decided to pay even closer attention to the article.

The burial it seems, is private.

His son, John Junior, is quoted as saying "I will always remember how as young children he took the role of 'Mr. Mom' while our mother worked at night." 

Aha.  So, maybe the unidentified widow of a 57-year marriage was a little peeved that she worked all night while Dad was strumming his 12-string?

Frodo also learned that the departed had raised more than $2 Million in order to fund the "Special Children's Christmas Fund" and "Children with AIDS" during his tenure as founder of the Atlanta Country Music Academy in order to further provide free music classes for aspiring singers (it should be noted that none of the successful graduates of the Academy were identified in the obituary).

Frodo concludes that some people, God bless 'em, are probably more interesting in death than they were in life.

Are you listening, Mr. Cheney? 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:54 PM EDT
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Monday, July 26, 2010
Young Man, Put Your Pride On the Shelf
Mood:  d'oh
Topic: "Serious,For A Change"(6)

The question becomes, would you want a 22-year-old from Oklahoma making life-and-death decisions that may impact on you and yours?  If Frodo were to stray from a serious topic, he would say that anybody dumb enough to live in the tornado capital of the entire fricking universe is not capable of either sound judgment or sane conduct.  Evidence to support such a conclusion is now public knowledge, thanks largely to someone who took the law into his own hands.

Frodo remembers the Berrigan Brothers and Daniel Elsberg with fondness for courage, and Frodo is grateful for the lives that they undoubtedly helped to save, on both sides of a terrible war.  What they did, that differs from the action taken by computer-savvy, self-appointed, vagabonds of justice, was to make public the intentional effort to deceive.  For an individual to make actual military engagement available for public scrutiny, while the activity between combatants continues, does portend a threat to the safety of American and Coalition forces.

That, dear reader, could be the kid who used to deliver your newspaper.  Or the young guy (or gal) who felt his country's call to help protect her from the insanity of the 9-11 murders.  It is not right, in a nation of 300 million people, for one to act in the fervor of conscience or righteous indignation, without taking full responsibility for the consequences of such independent action.  That is why we have elections.  That is why we have ascended to the pinnacle of civilization, despite the madness of our partisan feelings toward one another.

This young man is no different than the young Californian who joined al-Qaeda, and took up arms against his fellow citizens.  Frodo is confident that he does not act imprudently when he supports a call for swift justice and an interminable sentence under the law which binds us all. 

Now, Mr. President, your most devoted of supporters asks that you again consider both the costs and the objectives of what has become an illustrated lesson in both how one nation is built, and how another is threatened beyond repair.  It is time.  Time to come home.  

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:37 PM EDT
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Thursday, July 22, 2010
Come On People Now, Smile On Your Brother
Mood:  loud
Topic: "Girls Night Out" (6)

Frodo made a suggestion to another member of the Fellowship the other day, and was promptly notified that his ideas are just that, his.  Frankly, Frodo had been hoping to entice a dialogue about the changing faces, and figures, of politics in America.  What better way to start than to get feminine input to commence the construction of verbs, nouns, and adjectives that will surely flow toward the male of any species who attempts to explain why women are responsible for the pending collapse of the American form of government?

Frodo also notes that it is hot outside, and that his exhausting week at Mount Doom is far from over.  That, dear reader, is his defense for not taking the time to document his findings, and thereby explain away the assault on his facts which is sure to follow.

100 years ago there weren't any women in politics.  Most women, it seems, were clad in garb resembling the tents today worn by those who fly in-and-out of Heathrow daily from Saudi Arabia in order to shop at Harrod's.  Frodo vaguely recalls that the first woman elected to the United States Senate, for example, was the widow of the incumbent from Arkansas who had the temerity to die in office without leaving a planned succession.  She, whose name escapes Frodo, as does nearly everything else he ever recalls about Arkansas, became the first of the "weaker" sex to win a direct election into that formerly august body.

When Frodo was much smaller, he recalls the name Margaret Chase Smith, from Maine, who was a Republican, but who, amazingly, seemed to have both a functioning mind and a beating heart (Frodo remembers a single long-stemmed rose lying across the Senate desk once used by John Fitzgerald Kennedy that awful day in November, long ago).  Today, to get  to the point after that little soiree back in time, there are two women, both directly elected to the Senate, who represent the State of Maine.  It is, almost, as if someone has discovered a way to clone the genetic code and produce politicians without any representation of sexual contact whatsoever.

A brief century has passed and now there are two, or is it three yet, female members of the Supreme Court.  The Speaker of the House for the first time is a female (although Frodo must confess that he has assigned an occasional reference to Newt Gingrich as a potential for exclusion from the military because of the existence of 'don't ask, don't tell').  Both Senators from California, one from Louisiana, one from Missouri, one from Washington, one from Minnesota, and two or three more up there in those States not necessarily important to Frodo's continuing dialogue, are also female.  Add in 'Congresspersons' from New York, California, Florida, Minnesota, and one or two from Tennessee, Texas, and assorted vagabond States, and one begins to wonder if the presence of testosterone isn't programmed into the 'death panels' wherein lie the remains of past representatives.

Now, let us consider the position of Guvnah.  After the infamous half-assed performance of Sarah Palin (Sleazebaggers please note that Frodo's reference is to the incumbent having served one-half of her elected term before getting bored or discovering that she would really have to read a book or do real work), Frodo has taken note of Arizona, South Carolina, Michigan, and New Hampshire, among others probably but, frankly, Frodo is getting a little bored himself.  Now (gasp) the reactionary homeland of Georgia has something named Karen Handel atilt with a windmill named Nathan Deal for the Republican nomination to replace the inimitable "Sonny" Perdue.

ASIDE:  Perdue bears an uncanny likeness to the character named "Curly" in the "Three Stooges," and Frodo cannot help but be reminded of "Larry" when he watches Handel parade about a podium.  The Lieutenant Governor, Casey Cagle, completes the triumvirate.

What Frodo truly fears is that the girls all get together, and come on down (sounds vaguely like an old game show, doesn't it?) to help their "sister" overcome the evil Roy Barnes.  A damned "slumber party," no less.  Imagine Sarah in her nightie, and Michele fixing s'mores, while the feminine Maharajah of South Carolina does her best to entertain a visitor from the Appalachian Trail who thought she would be spending a quality evening with the predecessor thereto.

Frodo has to back off an earlier comment whence he took a cheap shot at Arkansas.  True it is that Frodo never thought he would ever miss Wilbur Mills.  Ole Wilbur knew where women belonged, and he had his ways and means.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:27 PM EDT
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Monday, July 19, 2010
Nobody Knows Like Me
Mood:  energetic
Topic: "Rules" (6)

Amid his bureaucracy phase, Frodo often joined with his comrades in a mockery of the world in which they lived.  The Harvard Law of Behavior, for example, was often used to describe their joint efforts to make life better for the American taxpayer ("Under carefully controlled laboratory conditions, human beings behave as they damn well please").  The Hobbit felt fully justified applying his considerable creative abilities to such a worthwhile task.  That explains, he supposes, his affinity for the the Newtonian Law of Government, which states that "Work expands to fill the time available for its conclusion."

All of this becomes particularly relevant now that the WASHINGTON POST has finally done something to make people remember that it is still published and delivered daily.  Frodo must admit that he misses Ben Bradlee and still gets chills when Hal Holbrook smokes a cigarette with Bob Redford while Dustin Hoffman follows the money.  When the POST gets something right, it really gets it right, and today, Frodo is cheering for his old friend.

Frodo has referred to the Department of Homeland Obscurity with disdain since first the megalith was dumped on the taxpaying public by the dynamic duo of Cheney and Bush, or is that Abbott and Costello?  The largest civilian agency in the History of Man combined everything from the Secret Service to the Federal Emergency Management folks into a plethora of unrelated, uncontrolled, bells, whistles, and quarterly reports on progress toward equal employment opportunity.  Each report was, of course, first addressed to an Assistant Regional Director under the aegis of the Interim Assistant Commissioner for Operations.  Frodo knows, because he was one, an Assistant Program Manager, on detail from his permanent responsibility as a District Director.

What that means is that Frodo could catch a bus home at 3:30 and nobody would miss him.

Imagine, if you will, what it must be like to take the wisdom of the "9-11 Commission," and produce an intelligence function that makes the word "redundancy" seem almost as pithy as the word "transparency?"  People actually get paid for dreaming up these words, and then devoting their entire work effort to their implementation in manuals and transmittals which no one ever reads, ahead of time.  This obfuscation of responsibility was exactly what Cheney and Bush produced, despite their assertions to the contrary.  The WASHINGTON POST came out in print today with its study of the ineffectiveness of the American Intelligence effort, which had taken them two years to conclude that we are less safe now, simply because we have an unbridled monster collating, but not integrating.

Frodo was hopeful when Lawrence O'Donnell interviewed Richard Clark, who has become the Master of "I Told You So."  Cark, however, seems to have gone over to the Dark Side, because he recommends an "Independent Commission" to cut through the fat and streamline the effort. 


Frodo remembers the other homily which guided him in his passage through the endless hallways to the third "morning meeting."  If he recalls close enough, it seemed to whisper "This, too, shall pass."



Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:35 PM EDT
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Sunday, July 18, 2010
Tomorrow May Rain So I'll Follow The Sun
Mood:  lucky
Topic: "Allah Be Praised" (5)

Two notes of Explanation:

Farid Tan is from Singapore, and he is the President of a Bank.  Farid and Frodo became acquainted during the course of business, and maintain an easygoing, but respectful dialogue.  Farid is a Muslim, and he prays five times each day.  If he has one personal goal, it would be to own a franchise of Starbuck's.

Bilbo is dying.  She who begat Frodo requires oxygen twenty-four hours per day, every day.  The demand approaches its zenith, and that which would follow for the sake of sheer survival would involve a ventilator.  Bilbo has formally requested that such a course of action not be taken.  Somewhere in the span of one-to-six months, the presence of carbon dioxide in her system will be dominant, and she will decline, rapidly.  Until that time, she will probably fall under hospice care in her assisted living residence.  Frodo and Sam are nearby, and Bilbo enjoys three meals per day, the gallant Braves on her black-and-white, and telephone calls from people she will not see again, as far as we know.

"Mr. Frodo, this is Farid.  How is your Mom?"

"She is 92 years old, so each and every day is an adventure.  Thank you for asking, for she is doing as well as we could expect, if not more."

"We do what we must do.  Do we not?"

"Indeed, we do."

"I will remember her in my prayers this afternoon, and in the days that follow."

"Thank you.  She will be very pleased to hear that.  I don't believe that a prayer to Allah in her name is something which she has known before.  It will be a fine gift."

"Do not worry about our business needs.  They will be here for us at another time."

"Thank you."

"Salaam Alaikam Mr. Frodo, and Bilbo."

"Salaam Alaikam Mr. Tan." 


Middle Earth is a wondrous place.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 4:58 PM EDT
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Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Bring Me a Higher Love
Mood:  amorous
Topic: "Unborn in the USA" (6)

"The gentleman from the Shire shall speak for eight minutes."

"Thank you Madam Speaker.  I ask permission of the Chair to revise and extend my remarks."

"Let it be so, you may proceed Congressman Frodo."

"Madam Speaker," began the Hobbit, "I note with increasing alarm the frivolous issue addressed by those who challenge the citizenship status of the President of the United States.  The clearly-defined rebuttal of all these allegations has been ignored by several on the, shall we say, lunatic fringe, for many days.  Despite the certification by the State of Hawaii and its political officials, on both sides of the aisle, and the historical record posted at the time in the local newspaper, these ideological foes of the President continue to harangue and defy the evidence.  There has been little harm done since a vast majority of the citizenry recognizes these bubbabutts for what they truly are.  That is changed however, with the public remarks of a United States Senator who, despite his own public foibles, remarked this week that legal action to challenge the citizenship of the duly-elected President had merit."

"Senator David Vitter (R-LA), a publicly-admitted adulterer, who has steadfastly refused to step down from his position despite his Sin, has chosen to give a level of credence to the Sleaze Bag proponents of the continuing falsehood.  This, in spite of the fact that he is not the product of birth on American soil."

"Point of Order.  Will the gentleman yield to a question?," asked the Minority Leader, Congressman Bonehead (R-KY).

"For a question, yes."

"Your statement that Senator Vitter is not a citizen is a preposterous charge."

"That is not a question."

"Then may I ask from whence your information comes to substantiate such an allegation?"

"From his wife."

Congressman Bonehead was aghast, and clearly did not know what to say.

"Congressman," said Frodo, "you will be facinated to learn that Senator Vitter was conceived in a petri dish."

"A petri dish, you say?"

"Madam Speaker, I note that the Congressman had not been recognized, and request that my available time be extended to reflect this improper interruption."

"So granted, Mr. Frodo," said the beaming Ms. Pelosi (D-CA).

"Senator Vitter, for the sake of all appearances is obviously not a fully-conceived product of the normal birth process.  In fact, the available evidence points to the fact that he is truly the biggest shrimp in the US Senate.  His wife, publicly wronged, and forced to wear leopard skin to the public admission of infidelity, has provided this office with slide evidence of the chemical process performed by medical students on the island of Grenada."

"Will the gentleman yield?", asked Congressman Cannot (R-VA).

"For what purpose?"

"To clarify the point of the gentleman's observation, if you will."

"I yield 30 seconds to the gentleman from Virginia."

"Sir, the Constitution does not require that Members of either body of the Congress. . ."

"Point taken and noted.  However, the point is offered that it should be clearly established that others in this body, or those who may wish to serve in this body, sometimes protest simply to hide their own "shorts," if that term may be applied to Senator Vitter, and others."

"Sir, if I may finish, do you allege that there are others whose citizenship needs to be verified?"

"Congressman, how about the Republican candidate for the Senate seat presently held by Mr. Bunning?"

"Rand Paul?"

"Born in Mexico.  In fact, had he been born thirty minutes later, his birth would've taken place in the United States, and he would've been a citizen at birth."

"Madam Speaker. . .I. . ."

"Listen Cannot, have you ever seen his mother?  Don't make a fool of yourself without hearing from his old man, Ronaldo."

The entire chamber was drawn to the crack of the Second Amendment.

The bullet of his .45 failed to penetrate the folds of kinetic energy surrounding the head of Congressman Joe Barton.

"Madam Speaker, I yield the remainder of my time."

"Thank you Mr. Frodo, is there a doctor in the House?  I mean one that can read, Congressman Broun (R-GA)." 


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:15 PM EDT
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Saturday, July 10, 2010
Well That's The Way I've Always Heard It Should Be
Mood:  irritated
Topic: "Forms For Everything"(6)

Upon the death of his father, Frodo first told Bilbo that his wish was that when Bilbo's time comes, Bilbo would leave exactly .05 cents.  Frodo wished then, and has never stopped hoping that Bilbo would enjoy the time available, and not worry about what is left behind.  Frodo has repeated, and repeated, and repeated, but the issue keeps coming up and biting him in the butt.  Now there is a different twist, and Frodo fights to avoid problems.

Frodo's father was a combat veteran of World War II.  The Veteran's Administration, so Frodo discovered quite by accident, has a benefit available to eligible widows of combat veterans to off-set the cost of a home care or assisted living situation.  The benefit, for those with less than a gazillion dollars, can be as much as $1,056 monthly.  Since Bilbo's savings and monthly Social Security benefits are entirely devoted to her assisted living facility, there is an end-date in sight for the dispersal of everything, including the aforementioned .05.  The grand a month from the VA would take the 92-year-old Bilbo onto a new level of things to worry about.  It would also give Frodo a few more minutes of sound sleep.

Frodo anticipated that there would be a lot of paperwork, so he sought out the Georgia Veterans Office, a State agency, to soften his approach to the Federal behemoth.  He obtained all of the necessary forms, and got everything filled out, and reviewed, within a short distance from the Shire, and with no interminable lines awaiting.  Even better, the State agency filed Frodo's forms for him.  Frodo was actually thinking of writing Georgia's Governor a congratulatory letter, and thereby publicly admitting that he may not be a complete and total failure in office, after all.

Frodo should not have been either surprised or non-plussed when a package arrived within 10 days, ta da, requesting more forms.  What bothered him however was that they appeared to be a virtual repeat of the documents already submitted.  A careful reading of the instructions was in order, and Frodo found that he was going to spend almost two hours indeed, answering all of the questions previously answered, save one.  There was a question regarding the "type" of marriage ceremony.

Frodo has the original marriage certificate, so certified in Winchester, Virginia, on the 5th of October 1943.  The actual document does not identify if the marriage was "tribal," or  "common law," or "ceremonial," or "other."  The light shone on Frodo's countenance as he comprehended the subtlety of this new request.  Frodo thought about asking Bilbo, but he would probably hear that there were no gay people during World War II.  The longer Frodo tarries over the, as yet, unanswered question, the angrier he becomes.  He knows, first and foremost, that he will have to answer, forthrightly, just what response is required, or his application will return to the absolute bottom of the pile.  That will do Bilbo no good at all.

But it pisses Frodo to the max.  Did the Congress of the United States, who created the benefit, intend or even consider not paying benefit in the name of a deceased combat veteran who was gay?  Maybe they did, but if Bilbo is correct about the absence of a gay population, they probably didn't.  The benefit itself is short-term assistance to golden generationers quickly slipping into the long goodnight, and some ideological bullfrog has seen fit to make sure that no queers need apply.  It is a good thing that the same determination is not made to determine who is buried in a military cemetery, like Arlington.

Holy mackerel!  You don't suppose?


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 11:16 PM EDT
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Friday, July 9, 2010
Walk On Through The Wind, Walk On Through The Rain
Mood:  hug me
Topic: "The Good Doctor"(6)

"Emergency" is one of those words that fails to connote true meaning, at least to Frodo.  It is closer to "Stop" or "Problem" than it is to "Danger" or "Fire."  An "emergency situation" can refer to a shortage of lettuce in a salad bar, as well as a life-threatening natural disaster.  If Frodo were King of the World, he would require that every word would have but one meaning despite the confusion that might be caused by the use of polish by anyone who happened to be Polish.

Fiona was named for the host of an NPR broadcast entitled "Thistle and Shamrock," Ms. Fiona Richie.  This factoid disputes Frodo's claim to thousands of youngsters who have grown up with the presence of Shrek (or is it Shreck?) that Fiona was truly "the most beautiful girl in the world," as identified in the movie.  It has always been a conversation starter with a new generation for Frodo, and continuously wins Fiona new friends, and lots of nice pets on the head.

Fiona seemed to be squinting, if not blinking her eyes when she stepped into the sunlight.  Despite the reasonableness thereto, it was something noted by Frodo.  A day or so later, he further noted the prence of waste matter in one eye.  He brought it to the attention of Samwise, who wisely suggested a quick visit to Dr. Porsche (referring to the motorcars driven by the veterinarian and financed by the Hobbit) to remove any foreign objects or minor infection.

Sam called Frodo at Mount Doom to inform him that Fiona was to be treated at the "Emergency" Clinic after her examination at the office of Dr. Porsche.  It was his preliminary prognosis that Fiona was suffering from glaucoma.  Sam was cool, and Frodo wore a similar, if not false, veil.  The "Emergency" Clinic practitioner, according to Sam, was a graduate of Tuskeegee, and she seemed both capable and authoritative.  She confirmed the diagnosis as glaucoma, and informed Sam, who informed Frodo, that it was an "Emergency" and that Fiona required immediate surgery.  Treatment otherwise would not be effective in this instance, and Fiona's vision was at risk.

The doctor called a few minutes ago to inform Frodo that Fiona had come through the hour-and-a-half surgery famously.  Frodo thanked her for her sensitivity, her knowledge, and her skill.  She seemed a bit taken aback, and told Frodo that Fiona had been an "excellent patient." 

Mick, the Wonder Dog, has been upset all evening.  He lies at Frodo's feet and silently stares at his friend, asking where Fiona is and wondering who will play soccer with he and Frodo in the morn.  Beau Neau McKitty wanders in and out of every room in the abode upon the Shire, looking to find where Fiona is hiding.  He has entered Frodo's computer room 8 times in the past half-hour.

Frodo and Sam, along with Mick, the Wonder Dog, will rescue Fiona at 10:00 tomorrow morning.  On the way home, Frodo will examine the plastic Elizabethan collar to which Fiona will be sentenced for a couple of weeks, and he will listen as she recants everything that happened during Frodo's absence.  Frodo is sure the dialogue will include a new definition to the word "Emergency."  Frodo, it seems, will have to think up another word to take its place.  Fiona rules.


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 11:50 PM EDT
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Thursday, July 8, 2010
You've Been So Much More Than Kind, You Can keep The Dime
Mood:  cheeky
Topic: "Made You Look" (6)

Frodo is plagued by lookalikes; not Frodo lookalikes, but those who look like somebody whom Frodo knows.  Perhaps it is the eyes, or the cheekbone, or an ankle, but, especially with the fairer sex, Frodo lives in constant fear that he will come across someone he once "knew," and blow the recognition, big time.

The young lady was named Brenda, and it was only their third date.  Frodo, honestly, dragged her into an ice cream parlor after a football game.  It was very crowded, but Frodo found a couple he knew occupying a four-person booth, and he hustled his date into the bench across from the occupants.  He glided smoothly through their names and then stumbled badly when he introduced Brenda (note that Frodo has never forgotten that name since) as "a friend of mine."  That night remains in Frodo's memory as one of those in which he did "without." 

Frodo has been struggling with the appearance of Sarah Palin.  She reminds him of somebody.  It has caused the Hobbit great consternation, for he has dreaded, perhaps, the possibility that he once "knew" Sarah Palin.  The thought has made him take several apparently unnecessary showers. 

This evening, Frodo has resolved the lookalike crisis, and is prepared to face the BP oil spill, the War in Afghanistan, the national debt, and the jobs crunch.  Frodo knows who Sarah Palin resembles, and he is sure that he has never come into contact with either.

She is Paula Jones.

Frodo will bet former President Clinton has to take two showers.



Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:48 PM EDT
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Friday, July 2, 2010
All Of Those Tourists Covered With Oil
Mood:  party time!
Topic: "Avast You Lubbers"(6)

In those early years, it was Frodo and Legolas, representing the urban, and Smeagol and Denethor spawned from the open spaces to the West.  On this particular Fourth of July, Legolas was ensconced in the pubescent hormonal rapture, and had no interest in separating himself from his partner of the moment.  The Hobbit entourage was then but three, conjuring magical plans to disperse their unfulfilled energies, and soon Frodo found himself outnumbered by his chums.  The two-to-one vote was to observe the Fourth of July Celebration at the Lincoln Memorial, the most magnificent fireworks display in all the lands of Middle Earth, but something that Frodo had seen several times before.  Frodo kept cajoling his associates that there was beer to drink, and that time was wasting.

Denethor was from Utah, and he knew much of wild rivers and frantic runs between huge boulders, things which Frodo enjoyed hearing about but had never imagined as reality.  Frodo was aghast when Smeagol suggested the use of Denethor's canoe as a transit object into the middle of the wide Potomac, a peaceful spot to watch the fireworks undisturbed by those lacking imagination.  Besides, said Smeagol, a case of beer would be a welcome addition, and would automatically placate Frodo.  Frodo argued with futility that he had no experience in a canoe, and might get them all sent to Davy Jones Locker, or at least knock the beer overboard.

His comrades finally convinced him that their superior skills would offset the flaws in Frodo's participation.  "Besides," said Denethor, "you'll get in the middle, and there is no way you could tip us over."

Frodo saw the flaw in the plan when they pulled up next to the Columbia Island Marina in order to launch the canoe.  It seemed that every owner of a yacht, or whatever one might call something large and white with motors aroar, that floated upon the river that night was placed directly in the path of Frodo and his companions.  As the canoe slid into the water, with Frodo as passenger, while Denethor and Smeagol provided the intial thrust on behalf of the engineless vehicle, Frodo noted the wake from every passing ocean liner.  Frodo kept his hands upon the bug spray, the jackets, and the beer, while his friends leaped into the canoe.

Things were going amazingly well until Smeagol attempted to cast himself into the pilot's position in front of Frodo, and Frodo's slight lean of assistance to the left turned out to be a miscalculation, at best.  In the subsequent attempt to assist Smeagol back into the canoe, Frodo again adjusted position without informing the remaining crew.  Now Frodo was all alone, with no paddle.

It should come as no surprise that neither Smeagol nor Denethor ever again invited Frodo when they went canoeing.  They were not amused at Frodo's effort to put things into true perspective when he noted that "at least he'd saved the beer."

As is his usual practice this Fouth of July, Frodo will grudgingly watch an inferior fireworks display while he recalls the majesty of the lights above the Washington Monument.  He will smile, and think of friends, long gone, who still curse the clumsy Hobbit for their unwanted dunking.  He knows they still laugh about him, but you know what? 

At least he saved the beer.



Posted by loveysdaddyga at 6:07 PM EDT
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