Blog Tools
Edit your Blog
Build a Blog
View Profile
« April 2012 »
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
8 9 10 11 12 13 14
15 16 17 18 19 20 21
22 23 24 25 26 27 28
29 30
You are not logged in. Log in
Entries by Topic
All topics  «
" Citizen Soldiers" (5)
" Putin' Out" (5)
" Thin Ice"(9)
""I Ain't Got Much" (5)
""Soft Memories" (7)
"$100, Are You Sure?" (5)
"0 Preservative Added"(2)
"105 Minute Workday"(9)
"16 Percent Factor"(3)
"176,000,000 to 1"(8)
"26 Damn Dollars"(6)
"3 Percent Turnout" (2)
"37 Come 11" (5)
"3:10 to Yuma" (7)
"50 Weeks of Reality TV"
"501 (c)(4)"
"54 Pounds" (8)
"8.8 Pounds"(6)
"A Capitol Idea" (6)
"A Code in My Node"
"A Course is a Course"(2)
"A Day At The Beach" (3)
"A Dog Named Bo" (5)
"A Hobbit of an Idea"
"A Man's Army"
"A Patriot Act" (7)
"A Patriotic Act"
"A Perfect World"
"A soldier booed?'(7)
"A Space Odyssey" (4)
"A Taxing Story" (5)
"A Thousand Campfires"(4)
"A Three Hour Tour"(8)
"A Touch of Class"(5)
"A Waisted Day" (5)
"A Woman Scorned"
"Aagh,I'll Pay,I'll Pay"
"Abe Wong, of Gondor"(5)
"Act I, Scene I" (8)
"Act I, Scene II" (8)
"Act I, Scene III" (8)
"Adjustable 2nd Card"(3)
"Adjusting Policies"
"Adjusting the Clock"(8)
"Aegean Adventure" (2)
"Ah ah ah Stayin' Alive"
"Airline Highway" (5)
"Alan Scott" (7)
"All Aboard"
"All Bets Are In" (2)
"All Charged Up"
"All Good Things" (4)
"Allah Be Praised" (5)
"Almost Heaven" (2)
"Alpha Dog"(7)
"Alright, Who Did It?"(7)
"Also Sprach Frodo" (4)
"Always Wear Gloves" (3)
"AM Radio Next?"
"America's Toilet" (6)
"American Cemetery"(8)
"An Admission"
"An Apple A Day" (7)
"An Hour A Day" (6)
"An Ugly American"(4)
"Anchorman" (6)
"And the Winner Is" (2)
"Andy Griffith Redux"
"Another Single Woman?"
"Another Three-namer"(5)
"Another Time/Place"(4)
"Anvil Throwin' Time"(8)
"Apocalypse Now?" (3)
"Aragorn" (4)
"Armored Dildos" (3)
"As Far As We Know" (2)
"Ask Ann Landers" (3)
"Assembly LineDancing"(4)
"Astronaughty" (2)
"Atlanta Times Three"
"Augmentation" (2)
"Augustus Agonistes" (5)
"Aurora Borealis" (8)
"Autumnal Observances"(2)
"Avast You Lubbers"(6)
"Baby Doctors (2)"
"Baby Fiona"(7)
"Baby Nathan Yahoo"(10)
"Back Door Basra (2)"
"Back inthe Saddle Again"
"Bad Boys, Bad Boys"
"Bad Time for Bonzo" (3)
"Balance of Nature" (3)
"Balance of Payments"(5)
"Balancing the Budget"
"Ballamer" (4)
"Bang the Drum Slowly"
"Bank Prank" (5)
"Baptists are Pussies"(7)
"Barbed Wire Escape (2)"
"Barbie Banditos" (3)
"Barely Bearble"(7)
"Barely Defensible" (2)
"Barry Me Not (2)"
"Bathroom onna Right"(3)
"Beach Music" (7)
"Because It Is Hard" (4)
"Beechwood 4-5789"(6)
"Belling the Cat" (2)
"Ben McGee" (3)
"Benny and the Jets"(5)
"Berlusconi in Love"(6)
"Best be straight Boy"(5)
"Best Day/Worst Day"(6)
"Best in the South" (5)
"Best in the World?"(5)
"Betray Us" (3)
"Bettah than Etta"(4)
"Better Man" (3)
"Better Than Pong"
"Big Time Sports" (3)
"Big Words,LittleMind"(6)
"Bilbo's Birthday (2)"
"Bilbo's Little Boy"(5)
"Bilbo's Revenge" (5)
"Bill and Hillary (2)"
"Billy World" (2)
"Bimini Babes" (3)
"Bird is the Word" (3)
"Birmingham Jail" (5)
"Birthday Baggins"
"Birthday Buddies" (7)
"Birthday Memory" (4)
"Birthin' No Babies" (3)
"Bishop to King's Castle"
"Black Friday" (2)
"Black Gold, Texas Tea"
"Black Hole Blues" (4)
"Black Jack"
"Black Russians" (6)
"Black Widow" (3)
"Blackboard Jungle"
"Blame Game" (3)
"Bleached Bones" (5)
"Blitzkrieg Bellini" (2)
"Blood and Swash" (3)
"Bloopers" (5)
"Blue Christmas" (2)
"Bo's Birthday"(5)
"Bob Sikes' Cut"(9)
"Bob, Bob, Bobbit" (3)
"Bobby, not Ben"(6)
"Bon Air Bellicose" (4)
"Bon Giorno" (6)
"Bona Lisa" (5)
"Bonds-v-Skvara" (3)
"Boo Boo Poo Poo"(9)
"Boromir & Galadriel"(5)
"Bottled in Thyme"(7)
"Bottom Ten"(9)
"Bovine Stem Cells?"
"Boy, I Say Boy"
"Boycott BP"
"Breaker, Breaker" (4)
"Breakin' rules" (7)
"Breaking News" (7)
"Brer Fox (2)"
"Bridge at Andau"(11)
"Bring Back Ross" (2)
"Bring the Bowl"
"Broken News"(10)
"Brother of the Ring"
"Brownback Mountain"
"Brownie Hawkeye"
"Buckwheat Breathes" (2)
"Bumper Sticker"
"Burn Baby, Burn" (3)
"Bush in the Bullrushes"
"Bush Baby, Bush (2)"
"Bush is Chinese?" (2)
"Bush Press Conference"
"Bush-Bashers Be We (2)"
"Busman's Holiday(2)"
"Butt...Butt...Butt" (3)
"Butterflies? Sheesh!"
"Buttermilk Drops" (3)
"Buy a Subaru" (11)
"Buy Stock in America"(6)
"Cabin Fever" (5)
"Cain Not Able" (7)
"Cake in the Rain"
"Cake in the Rain"(3)
"Call Me Ishmael" (3)
"Callista, an Albino?"(7)
"Camp Pleasant" (2)
"Can She Name Them?(2)"
"Can You Hear Me Now?"
"Canaan Conspiracy"(6)
"Candygram" (4)
"Captive Audience"(6)
"Caramel or Carmel?"(3)
"Carolina Cougar(2)"
"Carolina Curmudgeon" (5)
"Cartoon Characters" (3)
"Case of Packy Stann"(3)
"Cash crash crashed?"(5)
"Cat Fight" (5)
"Caterpillar Quandry" (3)
"Causal Relationships"(9)
"Cause It's One, (2)"
"Ceramic s"
"Ch-ch-changin'" (4)
"Change a'comin" (5)
"Change is Good" (5)
"Change?" (3)
"Changin' Channels" (2)
"Chapter 13"
"Chariots of Fire"
"Chariots' a' Comin'"(4)
"Chassahowitzka" (2)
"Chauncey Gardner"(7)
"Chemical Alley" (6)
"Cheney of Fools" (2)
"Cherem" (3)
"Chew my Gazebo, Willya?"
"Chief Noc-a-Homa" (3)
"Chingachgook Lives"
"Chipmonkeys Alert (2)"
"Chipper" (6)
"Christian Balls"(10)
"Christian the Lion"(4)
"Christian Valuelessness"
"Christmas Communique"(3)
"Christmas, 1936" (2)
"Chutzpah Hooters" (4)
"Cilled a Bar?" (3)
"Cindy, oh Cindy"(4)
"Citizen Soldiers" (2)
"Clark and Lois (2)"
"Classified Ads are Cool"
"Claymore Gregg" (3)
"Clean Machine" (2)
"Clean up in Aisle 4!"(4)
"Climb It Chains" (8)
"Clinton Cuts" (7)
"Clone Chipper,Please"(4)
"Cockatiel Lounge" (2)
"College of the Shire"(6)
"Combat Kelly (2)"
"Come On Baby"(8)
"Come on Down" (3)
"Comin' Clean" (5)
"Comin' Home" (3)
"Commencement (2)"
"Comparables" (6)
"Condi for President" (3)
"Cone of Silence" (4)
"Conflagration" (3)
"Confusion Reigns"(10)
"Congress Goes to War (2)
"Congress' Schmidthead"
"Conspiracy Theory" (4)
"Copy Cat Chinese" (5)
"Country Roads" (7)
"Crawford Convention" (2)
"Crikey" (2)
"Crime and Punishment(2)"
"Crotch Rocket Delite"(4)
"Cult of the Wild"(7)
"Curious, George?"
"Currahee" (5)
"Da Juice Is Back" (3)
"Dad" (5)
"Damages Done (2)"
"Damn Close" (4)
"Damn It To Hell" (5)
"Damn Lies" (7)
"Dandy Dale" (7)
"Danger Will Robinson"(5)
"Danger,Will Robinson"(8)
"Darth Dick" (5)
"Darwin's Company" (4)
"Das Boot"
"Das Ende" (6)
"Date With David" (2)
"Day of Infamy" (4)
"Day-O, Me Wan Go"(7)
"De Tar-Ball Baby" (6)
"Dead Honkey"
"Dearest Bilbo"
"Debits on the Left?" (2)
"Decisions, Decisions"(6)
"Deep and Dark" (5)
"Deep Shiite" (3)
"Degree of Separation"(6)
"Deja 1958 Over Again"
"Deja Who?"(7)
"Delano" (4)
"Diazinon Ditties (2)"
"Dick Clark Top 10(2)"
"Dimmer Switch" (6)
"Dirty Copter" (4)
"Do They Like Kool Aid?"
"Doctor, Mr. MD"(9)
"Dodged a Bullet"(7)
"Dogmobile" (3)
"Dogs Rule"
"Doing the Right Thing"
"Don't Cut My DSL" (5)
"Don't Feed the Animals"
"Dont Touch That Dial"(6)
"Doofus" (9)
"Doohan's Delight" (3)
"Doris Miller" (6)
"Dorothy Rose" (4)
"Double Deal" (6)
"Doubting Thomases" (3)
"Doug Williams"(4)
"Dover" (4)
"Down Below Back Home"(4)
"Downtown Cardinals"(9)
"Dr. Phil" (5)
"Dubai-Bye" (3)
"Dueling Banjos" (3)
"Dumb and Dumber" (3)
"Dumb As We Wanna Be"(3)
"Dumber Than Dirt" (3)
"Dumbest Politico (2)"
"Eager Uighurs" (4)
"Early Admission" (8)
"Eight Nine Four" (4)
"Elect Jeff Jackson"(10)
"Elizabeth I" (5)
"Emily Latella Lives"
"Emperor's Clothes" (2)
"End of the Line"
"Ending Sams Patience"(7)
"Engine Uprisin'" (4)
"Ensign Pulver"(5)
"EOTUS" (5)
"Equinox Approaching"(10)
"Equinoxious" (4)
"Escalator Escalatin'"(5)
"ESP" (6)
"Etchings, Anyone?"(5)
"Ethel Merman Lives"
"Eve, It's Oil!"
"Evenin' Govnah" (6)
"Everyday Miracles"
"Evil Thoughts" (3)
"Eye Opener" (3)
"Eyes of a Gorilla"
"Fair is Fare"(7)
"Falcon" (8)
"Fall Ball" (3)
"Fallin' Behind"(11)
"Falling Apart" (9)
"Fargo Felines" (5)
"Fashionable Frodo" (5)
"Father Ed" (3)
"Faux les Bas" (2)
"Female Insurgency (2)"
"Ferengi or Ferangi?" (3)
"Fergit? Hell No!"
"Film at 11"
"Findin' William"(11)"
"Firing US Attorneys" (3)
"First Freeze" (6)
"First Learn to Lose"
"First National Bank" (5)
"First Sentence" (8)
"Five Easy Pieces" (4)
"Float Yer Boat" (4)
"Flower Power (2)"
"Foe Years Old" (4)
"Follow the Money"
"Followin' Ava" (4)
"For More Years" (3)
"Forbidden Fruit"
"Fords and Dads" (2)
"Foreclosure Follies" (7)
"Foreclosure Notice" (6)
"Forest Primeval"(8)
"Form 666" (3)
"Forms For Everything"(6)
"Foundling Fathers"(7)
"Fourteen Years Ago?"(5)
"Fox Views" (3)
"Frack You" (7)
"Frances Died Today"(7)
"Fred's Dead Head" (3)
"Free at Last"
"Free Hidden Telecast"(4)
"Freedom? Hell No" (3)
"Friend by Your Side" (3)
"Friend by your Side" (4)
"Friendly Persuasion" (5)
"Friends of Bill" (7)
"Frist Friends"
"Frodo and Housman" (2)
"Frodo and Jesus"
"Frodo and Revere?"(7)
"Frodo And Truckers (2)"
"Frodo Dissents" (6)
"Frodo Not Foggo (2)"
"Frodo of Arabia(2)"
"Frodo Op" (5)
"Frodo Regrets"
"Frodo Study Group" (2)
"Frodo visits Bilbo"
"Frodo's Almanac"(9)
"Frodo's Bad Day"
"Frodo's Book Club"(5)
"Frodo's Dilemma" (3)
"Frodo's Faux Pas" (3)
"Frodo's Final Four" (3)
"Frodo's Foreign Policy"
"Frodo's Hall of Fame"(4)
"Frodo's Newer Friend"(6)
"Frodo's Retirement"(8)
"Frodo's Revenge"
"Frodo's Revenge"(7)
"Frodo's Solutions" (6)
"Frodo's Xmas Story"(6)
"Frodo, James Frodo" (3)
"Furriners" (4)
"Gainful Employment" (3)
"Galadriel Is No More"(3)
"Gandalf's Challenge (2)"
"Garland Duesenberry" (2)
"Gas Guzzler A-Go-Go"
"Gasp, Wheeze (2)"
"Gay Faux Holes" (5)
"Genarlow de Chariot" (3)
"Genesis Ignored" (3)
"Geneva Accords Redux"
"Geography Lesson" (3)
"George to the Rescue"(3)
"Georgia on my Mind"(3)
"Getting Your Wish" (3)
"Gidget Goes Gondor"(7)
"Gimme Head With Hair"(3)
"Girls Night Out" (6)
"Give 'em Hell, Tom" (5)
"Give Heath a Chance (2)"
"Give Us Your Tired. . ."
"Giving Way to Anger" (2)
"Glenn Frey"(11)
"Glory Days"
"Goin' Home" (3)
"Gondor Goodfellas"(9)
"Gondor Gravitas" (3)
"Good Cop" (7)
"Good Day America" (6)
"Good Friday It Was"(9)
"Good Friday, Maybe"(11)
"Good Ol Mountain Dew"(5)
"Good Son"
"Goodbye Kids (2)"
"Goodbye, Ethan" (2)
"Goodman is Hard to Find"
"Goose Again"
"GOP Convention" (3)
"Gotta Have a Home (2)"
"Grading on a Curve"
"Graffiti Government" (2)
"Great American Hero"
"Great American Hero" (2)
"Greatest Duet Ever"(6)
"Greed is Good"(5)
"Greetings" (8)
"Grissom not Gruesome"(4)
"Groupies for Edwards"(4)
"Guess We Forgot?"(8)
"Guest Workers (2)"
"Guns of August" (7)
"Guts of August" (3)
"Gwinnett Again?" (3)
"Halo, 1,2,3?" (3)
"Ham I Am" (3)
"Handi-Wipes" (3)
"Hang 'em High" (2)
"Hanky Time, Ladies"
"Happens in Threes"(5)
"Happy Anniversary"(9)
"Happy Mardi Gras"(2)
"Harpo Speaks"
"Harry" (2)
"Harry's Bar-Venice" (2)
"Hawkeye, Redux"(7)
"Haz Mat" (3)
"He Ate the Olive!"(7)
"He is deeply missed (2)"
"He Picks Up Poop?" (5)
"He Took De Bait" (8)
"He's 'Little Ricky'?"(7)
"Healthcare for Frodo"(5)
"Heart Soar Like Hawk"(5)
"Heck of an Engineer"(7)
"Hedge Fund Hippies" (3)
"Heeeerrre's Frodo" (3)
"Heeere's Johnny" (6)
"Heeerrrre's Frodo" (3)
"Hello, Mr. Wilson" (5)
"Hello? Central?" (3)
"Help Wanted"
"Helping Frodo" (4)
"Here Come da Judge" (2)
"Here Come da Judge" (6)
"Here Kitty-Kitty" (4)
"Here Kitty-kitty"(5)
"Here's Help, Now Leave"
"Here's Your Watch" (3)
"Hi Jinx" (5)
"Hide Anythin' Edible"(5)
"High Chair" (2)
"Hobbits And a Truck"(4)
"Hold On Romo" (2)
"Hold the Malaise" (4)
"Honey Dew List"(9)
"Hopalong Frodo"(9)
"Horn of Africa (2)"
"Horse Latitudes" (6)
"Horsehockey" (3)
"Hosea Can You See" (3)
"Hosea Can You See?" (3)
"Hot Tamale" (3)
"Hotel Plimhimmon"(9)
"HOV or DOA?" (3)
"How Dogs Love Us" (10)
"How Many Delegates?"
"How Many Delegates?" (3)
"How Now Broun Cow"(8)
"Hraka" (4)
"Huckleberry Hound" (3)
"Hund Scheisse CSI" (5)
"Hungarian Answer" (4)
"I Believe in Music (2)"
"I can hope, can't I?"(9)
"I Could Cry" (2)
"I Inspired You?"
"I say it's Spinach. . ."
"I'll Get Back to You"(3)
"I'll Huff and Puff" (4)
"I'll Take a Vowel"
"I'm Baaack" (2)
"I'mSo In LoveWithYou"(7)
"Ides of March Again" (4)
"Ides of Texas" (6)
"IED's in Congress" (2)
"If Frodo Ran The DHS"(5)
"If It Ain't OneThing"(5)
"If the truth be told"(6)
"If You Remember,Then"(6)
"If" (6)
"Imagine,General Newt"(6)
"Imitation of Life" (5)
"Immigration Reform (2)"
"In a Galaxy Far Away(2)"
"In a Pig's Eye" (4)
"In Dog We Trust" (10)
"In the Beginning"
"In the Beginning" (3)
"Incomparable Moron" (4)
"Indoor Toilets Rule" (4)
"Intersex Village" (2)
"Interstate Parking (2)"
"Ion Propulsion"(7)
"Iran's Tom Hayden"
"Irish Spring"(3)
"Is it in the Water?"
"Is That in America?" (2)
"Is You da One,Jimmy?"(3)
"Islamic Fundamentals"(8)
"Isn't Amnesty Good?"(3)
"Isn't Change Good?"(6)
"It's A Trap" (6)
"It's Just a Movie"
"It's Just Business"
"Ja, Wir Konnen."
"Jack Crabb" (10)
"Jambo Jumbo" (3)
"Japanese Movie?" (3)
"Je suis Frodo"(10)
"Jefferson Rock" (3)
"Jes' the facts Ma'am"(4)
"Jim Crow" (5)
"Joad Family Reunion?"(6)
"Joad Jobs" (4)
"Joe Soptic" (8)
"Jonestown Redux" (3)
"Jose and Claudia" (4)
"Joshua Generation" (3)
"Just Another Day" (3)
"Just Clearin' Brush"(3)
"Just Desserts (2)"
"Just Desserts" (7)
"Just Say 'Nyet'"(7)
"Just to CU Smile" (5)
"Kandy Kakes 2"
"Ken Meets Jack"
"Key Word Apology" (6)
"Killer's Geraldine" (4)
"Kilowatts Per Mile" (6)
"Kiribati Republic"(6)
"Kirk Saves Nemo"
"Kiss a Girl Goodbye"(2)
"Knew You Not Pompey?"(3)
"Kodak Moment" (2)
"Kool Sailboat" (4)
"Korea, Korea" (2)
"Kudlow's Kreeps"(4)
"Lady of Rohan" (3)
"Land Ho"(8)
"Lean and Hungry " (2)
"Leeward, I Say, Leeward"
"Legs Diamond" (3)
"Legs" (3)
"Leslie" (4)
"Lessons Learned" (2)
"Let Them Eat Cake"
"Let's Bake Cookies" (3)
"Let's Play A Game" (6)
"Letter Home" (6)
"Letter to Lou" (4)
"Liberal Lament" (40)
"Lief, Leaf, or Loaf"(8)
"Life In A Red State"
"Lights of Chicago"
"Like a Barack" (2)
"Limbaugh Hero"(7)
"Lime Bandits" (3)
"Lime is on my side" (6)
"Limestone Cowboys" (3)
"Lip Smackin' Good?"(6)
"Little Big Horn (2)"
"Little Houdini" (5)
"Little Sky"
"Littlest Angel" (2)
"Livin' is Easy?"(7)
"Loans and Deposits" (4)
"Lois, I Never Lie"(8)
"Lonely Avenue" (3)
"Lonesome Frodo" (3)
"Look away Dixieland"(6)
"Look for da Union Label"
"Look Who's Talkin'" (2)
"Lookin' Back, Texas" (3)
"Lost Weekend"(8)
"Low Water, Slow Flow"(3)
"Lox? Or Locks?" (7)
"Lunatic Cattle Call"(8)
"M-G-M Material"
"Ma Bell is Baaack" (3)
"Ma Bell Lives" (7)
"Macaca, Your Macaca" (2)
"Mad Dogs&Englishmen"(6)
"Made You Look" (6)
"Magic Fridge (2)"
"Magic Moments"(7)
"Make Jobs, Not War"(7)
"MaMa's Little Babies"(3)
"Man For All Seasons" (2)
"Man of the Century"
"Man Up, Harry"(6)
"Man's Best Friend?"
"Many happy returns"
"March Forth" (8)
"Marking Time" (3)
"Martyr Magic" (2)
"Marvelous Mac"(8)
"Mary Lee & Genie"(8)
"Master of None" (8)
"May Day, Comrade"(7)
"Maynard G. Krebs" (7)
"Medal of Honor" (6)
"Media is the Message(2)"
"Media Reporting" (6)
"Mental Healthcare" (4)
"Michelle, my Belle"(7)
"Mick's Day"(8)
"Mickey and Me"(6)
"MidSummer Nights Dream"(7)
"Mikileaks" (6)
"Missionary Position" (3)
"Missionary Position" (7)
"Mississipp' Sippin'"(2)
"Mister Roberts" (8)
"Moamar:The Movie"(7)
"Mohair Sam" (5)
"Mon Petit Shoe"(4)
"Monkeys in Mississippi"
"Moody Blue"(7)
"Moody" (7)
"Mooman" (3)
"Moon Over Miami"(4)
"Mooosic" (5)
"Moovin' On Up" (2)
"Mordor or Antarctica?"
"More Than Some" (4)
"Moultrie Poultry" (3)
"Mount Mulch" (2)
"Movin' On Up" (2)
"Mr. Toad's Motorcar (2)"
"Mumbai, My Lord" (4)
"Murtha For President(2)"
"N. Leroy" (7)
"Name That Tune"(4)
"Nascaroil" (4)
"Nat King Cole Sucks"(5)
"NCAA---Blech!" (7)
"Nein, nein, nein"(7)
"Never Doubt Bilbo"
"Never heard of him"
"New Life, Old Leaves"(4)
"Newest Friend"(8)
"Newman's Own" (4)
"Newt/Mitt '12" (3)
"Next Case" (6)
"Next Door Neighbors" (3)
"NFL Commissioner (2)"
"NFL Trade" (3)
"Nielsen Ratings" (2)
"Nine Months PG" (7)
"Nixon Agonistes" (3)
"No Faux News?" (3)
"No Googling Allowed"(4)
"No Humor Today"
"No Peanut Left Behind"
"No Sale" (3)
"No, Not Russian" (4)
"No-No, No" (3)
"Nobody Even Asked"(8)
"Noo Yawk Stateamind"(2)
"Not a Bang,a Whimper"(7)
"Not Funny, Dr Jones"(5)
"Not North Carolina" (6)
"Not Percy Sledge?" (3)
"Not Percy Sledge?"(3)
"Number One" (3)
"Number Please?"(7)
"Number, Please"(8)
"Numbers Don't Lie" (3)
"Numbers Racket" (4)
"Obama Doctrine" (5)
"Obama's Generals"(5)
"October Dreamin'" (4)
"Ode to an Athlete (2)"
"Ogal Preston Crews (2)"
"Oh Kenny Boy (2)"
"Oh the possibilities"(8)
"Oh Ye White Whale" (3)
"Oh, Sadaharu" (2)
"OK Baptist Chorale" (4)
"Old McDonnell's Farm"(7)
"Old Time Baseball"(9)
"Old Times Topic" (6)
"Olympic Changes" (4)
"On Her Code?" (4)
"On Vacation, I'm Sure"
"One Act Play"
"One Down, More Comin'"
"One For the Good Guys"
"One More Round" (4)
"One Orbit of the Sun"(2)
"Only 434 More to Go" (2)
"Opportunity Sox" (3)
"Or the Yellow Peril?"(6)
"Osama Can You See?" (2)
"Our God Is Better" (3)
"Our Town" (5)
"Our Town" (8)
"Out Damned Spot (2)"
"Out of Kilter" (5)
"Out of the Ashes" (4)
"Overdue Books" (3)
"Pace Car" (3)
"Painted Toenails?"(4)
"Panic Attack"(10)
"Pants on Fire"
"Parade of Horribles"(4)
"Part Two" (5)
"Pass the Malais" (4)
"Passion Flowers" (5)
"Past is Prologue" (3)
"Pat bin Laden"
"Patsy for America"
"Peaceful Easy Feelin"(3)
"Peacetakescourage" (3)
"Permanent Vacation" (5)
"Persons of the Year"
"Philadelphia Bunnyface?"
"Philosopher Kings" (4)
"Pickled Cabbage?"
"Picture of Frodo"(5)
"Pilot Wales" (2)
"Pirate Booty"
"Pit Bull Revenge"(4)
"Pius Baloney I" (7)
"Place of Good Abode" (3)
"Plaque 42W, Line 12"
"Play It Again, Sam"
"Play Melancholy Baby"
"Play the Frodo Game"(6)
"Playin' Possum" (3)
"Poland Parole Patrol"(5)
"Polish or Polish?"
"Poll Results Just In"
"Poly Sci 101"(9)
"Poor People"
"Pope for a Day" (10)
"Pope-a-Dope" (5)
"Popeil Veg-o-matic"
"Potty Training" (3)
"Power Surge"(9)
"Pray for, Gas?" (4)
"Pray With Me Henry" (2)
"Pre-emptive Passages"(2)
"Preemptive Invasion"
"Presidential Erection"
"Problem, Officer?" (3)
"Problem, Officer?" (5)
"Problems?" (4)
"Promises Made" (3)
"Promises To Keep" (5)
"Promises to Keep"(9)
"Proud I Am"
"Proud Walter" (5)
"Proxy Server Error" (4)
"Prudent" (10)
"Psychiatrist,5 cents"(6)
"Pugnacious Maverick"
"Pulitzer Means Squat"(8)
"Punxatawney Bush"
"Puppy Angel" (2)
"Purple Pill Please" (2)
"Putin Tang" (3)
"Qaddafi Wins, For Now"(7)
"Qualified? Yeah Right!"
"Quayle Hunting"
"Queen of Memphis"
"Queen of the Damned"
"Quittin' Time" (8)
"Quoth the Raven"(7)
"QVC and Dorothy"
"Qwest For Truth (2)"
"Radio and TV"(7)
"Rain, Rain, Go Away?"(4)
"Rainy Day in Georgia(2)"
"Raptor Rapture" (7)
"Read All About It" (5)
"Real Men Don't Shop"(4)
"Rechargin' da Shire"(11)
"Recycled Air (Gasp)" (2)
"Red Sky at Morning" (3)
"Red Sky at Morning"(5)
"Reduced Flow Flush"(5)
"Reimers' Rhymers"(5)
"Remember These?"
"Remembering Jessica" (2)
"Remote Outpost" (7)
"Render Unto Wright" (4)
"Reverend LeRoy" (3)
"Rice on Hot Tin Roof(2)"
"Rick Santa Anna"(5)
"Right Not Privilege" (4)
"Road to Damascus"
"Road Trip" (5)
"Roads Scholar" (8)
"Rocket Man"
"Rocket Man" (5)
"Rockets Red Glare" (5)
"Rocks Rox"(8)
"Roger the Dodger"(4)
"Roger Williams Sucks"(2)
"Rooty-Toot" (6)
"Rose Garden Promises"(4)
"Royal Portrait" (2)
"Rubber Ducky" (2)
"Rubio's Cube"(6)
"Rules" (6)
"Rules" (7)
"Rumblin' Bumblin'" (3)
"Rumsfeldstiltskin" (2)
"Run Eddie, Run" (5)
"Run Far, Run Fast"(7)
"Run Forrest, Run"
"Run, old hare!"
"Runaround Tsu"
"Runs in the Family" (3)
"Rwanda Go Home?"(6)
"S'long Sarong (2)"
"Sabato Knows" (2)
"Sam Shopping" (2)
"San Juan de Capistrano"
"Sandy Hook" (8)
"Santos v. Vinnick"
"Satire-Apology to Mick"
"Sauron Psalms" (2)
"Sauron's Scythe" (4)
"Savin' Gas" (4)
"SAWB" (3)
"Say Cheese"(7)
"Say It Ain't So,Jo"(4)
"Say It Ain't So,Joe" (2)
"School Holiday" (4)
"Science Marches On"
"Scooter" (2)
"Scott Free" (4)
"Sears and Loveaduck" (5)
"Second Line (2)"
"Second of Two" (4)
"Seems Like Yesterday"(4)
"Seems Like Yesterday"(9)
"Seen Any Blue Swans?"(3)
"Selective Service"(8)
"September Twelfth"(5)
"Serendipity Strikes" (3)
"Serge is Working?" (3)
"Serious,For A Change"(6)
"Seven Samurai" (5)
"Sex or Gender?"
"Sexiest Man Alive"(5)
"Shaken, not stirred"(10)
"She is No Ma Kettle"
"Sheep and Museums"
"Sheep in Mindanao?"
"Shenandoah Rangers"(7)
"Shenandoah" (6)
"Shire Sunset"
"Shock and Awe" (4)
"Shoot 'em, Vern"
"Side by Side" (7)
"Sidin' With Anemone"(4)
"Silence of the Lambs"(2)
"Silent, but deadly"(6)
"Sing It Again" (4)
"Sink or Swim"
"Sir A Gut" (3)
"Six Days on the Road"
"Skull and Bones"(4)
"Skunk Cabbage" (3)
"Sleepy Time (2)"
"Slippin' and a Slidin'"
"Sludge Stimulus" (5)
"Small Businesses-Ha!"(6)
"Small Gray Planet"(2)
"Small Victories"
"Smellin' Roses"
"Smirk Jerk" (2)
"Smokin' Pesticide Dope"
"Smoochy Time" (4)
"Snazis" (2)
"Snow Tan"(11)
"Snowiches" (6)
"So Who's Sluggo?" (2)
"Social Security Reform"
"Social Security" (7)
"Socrates and Friends"(5)
"Soldier of the King"
"Soldier of the Storm(2)"
"Solitary Isolation" (3)
"Solving a Problem"(9)
"Somethin' Borrowed"(5)
"Something in Commons"(5)
"Sometimes Life Sucks"(4)
"Sorcerer's Apprentice"
"Soul Train" (5)
"Souter Rules, Dude"
"Southern Ladies" (5)
"Sow's Ear from Silk"(5)
"Space Poop" (3)
"Speechifyin'" (4)
"Speedy Gonzales" (3)
"Spelling, -23" (6)
"Sperm Count" (3)
"Spiro T. Palin" (4)
"Spoonerized" (6)
"Spring Equal Knox" (3)
"St. George" (4)
"Stan & Ollie"(7)
"State Dinner" (3)
"States' Rahts" (3)
"Sticker Shock"
"Stolen Bases" (3)
"Stragedy" (2)
"Stragedy" (8)
"Strangerthan fiction"(6)
"Strip Searched" (9)
"Stupidly" (5)
"Stupor Bowl Sunday"(2)
"Subsidizing Seeds"(6)
"Sunday, Sunday"(9)
"Sunni Daze" (4)
"Supportin' da Troops"(2)
"Supportin' da Troops"(3)
"Survey Says" (6)
"Sweet Georgia Brown"
"Swiss Miss" (5)
"Take a letter, dearie"
"Take It Off Baby" (5)
"Takes a Worried Man"(4)
"Talibanme Banana"(8)
"Talkin' Turkey" (3)
"Tax Driver" (9)
"Taxpayer Assistance (2)"
"Tea Olive" (7)
"Tear Down That Wall"(4)
"Teflon Causes Cancer"
"Ten Cent Coke" (3)
"Tennessee Stinks" (6)
"Term Paper" (5)
"Terminal? Great!"
"Terre Bonne" (6)
"Terrible Swift Sword"(6)
"Terrible Two's" (2)
"Tess of D'Uberville"(8)
"Tess of the Dorghis" (8)
"Texas Exes" (8)
"Thank the Academy"(4)
"Thank You Rand Paul"
"Thank You, Molly" (2)
"Thanks, Dad" (3)
"Thar She Blows"
"That Looks Like Me"(5)
"That's the way it is"(5)
"Thawt Yuze a Toad"(7)
"The 60 Year Struggle"(5)
"The Atlanta Eye" (6)
"The Blue Dog"(11)
"The Boston Massacre"(9)
"The Boys of '63" (8)
"The Brotherhood Begins"
"The Eyes of Texas"
"The Forum" (2)
"The Future is Now (2)"
"The Garden of Good"
"The Good Book" (4)
"The Good Doctor"(6)
"The Great Quixote" (9)
"The Grumpy Dwarf"(9)
"The Important Stuff"
"The Italian Stallion"
"The Litany" (6)
"The Longest Day" (5)
"The Non-Issue" (3)
"The Perfect Storm" (2)
"The Pre-Fellowship"(4)
"The Prophecy"
"The Real Rhett" (4)
"The Second Amendment"
"The Silver Sow Award"(3)
"The Splurge" (4)
"The Turtle" (3)
"The Union Label"(6)
"There is a Virginia" (2)
"They're He-ear" (4)
"Thin Ice, Frodo" (4)
"Third Strike Nuance (2)"
"This Day in History"(3)
"This, Too, Shall Pass"
"Three A.M." (4)
"Three Siblings" (4)
"Three Votes Short" (3)
"Thriller" (9)
"Thunder Road"
"Thy Name be Peace" (2)
"Tie a Yellow Ribbon" (3)
"Tiger By The Tail" (5)
"Time to Cut Brush" (3)
"Time With Friends" (3)
"Times A' Wastin'" (3)
"Title IX Disaster" (5)
"To Arms, To Arms"
"To the Hoop (2)"
"Together Again" (3)
"Tokyo Rush" (5)
"Tom Bombadil isDying"(7)
"Tom Bombadil Returns"(9)
"Tom" (4)
"Top Two Percent" (7)
"Tora Bora Lora. . ." (2)
"Torah, Torah..."(6)
"Toro, Andalay,Toro (2)"
"Touchdown Swabbie" (3)
"Tovarich" (4)
"Tra La,Spring,Tra La"(6)
"Train Wreck"(8)
"Transparency" (4)
"Travel Sucks" (4)
"Tree Fishin' (2)"
"Trees v. Forest"(9)
"Trekking Mount Doom" (2)
"Tripod Hackers?"(9)
"Trouble Sleepin'" (3)
"Truckin' for Isaiah" (3)
"Truly,Totally, Nuts"(3)
"Tuesdays with Nancy"(4)
"Tullahoma Tequila (2)"
"Tumbler" (3)
"Turkey Day Walkabout"(2)
"TW3" (3)
"Tweety Pie" (2)
"Twenty to Life" (5)
"Twismas Tunes" (5)
"Twisted Sister" (4)
"Two Americas" (4)
"Two Americas" (9)
"Two Steps Back" (4)
"Two Thousand, Ate" (4)
"Unademdaze" (4)
"Unborn in the USA" (6)
"Unbroken Circle" (7)
"Unconditional Surrender"
"Unconventional, you say?"(7)
"Underdog Shmunderdog"(4)
"Unmarked Grave" (6)
"Untimely Events"
"UR Number Is Up" (7)
"Vacation Brouhaha" (3)
"Vacation Comin'" (2)
"Vandals at the Gates"(2)
"Vat of Chocolate"(6)
"Vero Possumus" (4)
"Veto Shmetoe (2)"
"Vick Drops, Cough!" (3)
"Video Thriller"(5)
"Vinson Can Gogh"(6)
"Virgin Birth" (2)
"Virginia is 4 Lovers"(4)
"Virginia Lovers" (4)
"Vom Winde Verweht" (2)
"Vote for Steve" (2)
"Vote Frodo (Not)"(7)
"W is for Wuss""
"Wait 'til Next Year" (2)
"Wait 'Til Next Year"(2)A
"Walkin' in the Woods"(5)
"Walkin' the Dogs"(8)
"Walkin' the Walk"
"Wall of Libertad"
"War on Middle Class"(2)
"War on Tara"
"Warm Bucket of Spit"(4)
"Was Miers His Attorney?"
"Watch Mr. Wizard" (3)
"Water Into Wine" (11)
"Water into Wine?"
"Watts da plan, Man?"(5)
"Wayne Johnson"(4)
"We Make a Better Day"(5)
"We Sank a Truck"
"We Will Rock You"
"Weather Channel Follies"
"Weddin' Down South" (3)
"Wedding Bell Blues"
"Weeds Way Is Up?"(5)
"Weepy Seepy Peepee"(3)
"Welcome Home, Soldier"
"Well, Duh!"
"Well, Poop"(8)
"West Wing Redux" (2)
"What Goes Around" (6)
"What if JR Shot Back"(9)
"What is a Shimkus?" (2)
"What Mark Felt"
"What Schedule?" (2)
"What Time Is It (2)"
"What We Have Here (2)"
"What Would Mitt Do?"(3)
"What's A Cubit?"
"What's a Sgarbi?" (5)
"What, Me Worry?"
"What, Me Worry?" (3)
"Where Sun Doan Shine"(8)
"Where's Frodo?" (5)
"Where's my puppy?"(4)
"Where's the Beef?"
"Where's the Fire?"(5)
"Whither Frodo?"
"Whitman's Sampler"(6)
"Who Dat Say Who Dat?"
"Who dat?" (2)
"Who did it?" (2)
"Who Torted?"
"Who Was That Guy?" (5)
"Who's In Line?"(6)
"Who's We, White Boy?"(3)
"Why are you here"?(3)
"Why are you here?" (3)
"Why Black Folks Cheered"
"Wiccan I do for you?"(2)
"Wicked Pickett"
"Wide Stance" (4)
"Will better be?"(7)
"Willard" (7)
"Willie B had heart" (5)
"Winchester Women (2)"
"Wink at the Moon"
"Winter Solstice"
"Wishin' and Hopin'"
"Wither Channels" (5)
"Wither Weather"(9)
"Wither Weather?"(4)
"WMD in the Shire"(6)
"Words To Live By"(7)
"Workin' on Night Moves"
"Worst Candidate Ever"(8)
"Worth Waiting For?"(5)
"Write a Letter" (7)
"Writer's Block" (2)
"Wrong Again, Frodo"(3)
"Wyomin' Gloamin'" (2)
"Xmas in Shreveport"(6)
"Yahoo" (4)
"Yankee Humor" (5)
"Yankee Ingenuity"
"Yella Rose a Taxes"(4)
"Yellow Peril" (3)
"Yes, No, Who Knows?" (2)
"You Betcha" (6)
"You Put Your Eye Out"(2)
"You Snake in the Grass"
"You Take the High Road"
"Zimmerman Noted"(6)
"Zinni in Bloom (2)"
"Zounds, Sounds!" (5)
"Zounds, you varlet"(4)
Southern Pine Beetles"(4)
The H Word" (6)
Citizens of Middle Earth
The Fellowship of the Ring
The Return of the King
Frodo, Keeper of the Ring
Sunday, April 15, 2012
I've Been Cry-eye-in Over You
Mood:  caffeinated
Topic: "Islamic Fundamentals"(8)

There is, has been, and apparently, always will be, a major international conspiracy virtually ignored by the "lamestream media."  Frodo has suspected, ever since his ninth year at the High School of the Shire (note:  Frodo did not spend nine years at the High School of the Shire, but during his ninth year of academic excellence he happened to be housed at said institution), that certain required subjects reflected a bias that was not readily explainable.  Now he has the proof.  Let us begin, dear reader, with the proverbial question, about the "crap" we learned in high school.

Algebra.  Frodo can truthfully say, to the best of his knowledge, that he has never used, much less even considered using, anything he ever learned uttered by his Algebra teacher, Colonel Myers.  Frodo is however proud of the fact that he has managed to remember the name of said teacher, despite the fact that he probably was on the Axis side during WWII.

Frodo has recently learned that the word "algebra" comes from the title of a book written by an Arabic scholar named "al-Khwariami."  The word "algorithm" derives from this dude's name, and, most damning of all, the book was entitled "Al-Jabr wa-al-Muqua-bilah."  

Frodo, in the vernacular, Shiites you not.

Everything is there except the power behind the conspiracy, al-Qaeda.  It is only too clear to Frodo that his high school experience was intentionally diverted from the useful to the irrelevant.  Now, Frodo knows that x does not equal "why," rather x most probably equals "why not?"  It also opens up the entire issue of "Arabic numerals," and makes Frodo wonder if the US of A isn't being short-changed at the gasoline pumps by guys who not only control the product, but also compute the pricing therein.

Frodo now wonders about his old playmate, al-Horne.  He always looked foreign to Frodo. 

Well, what do you expect when Frodo gets home from paying $55 for a fill-up at his local al-Texaco? 


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 7:54 PM EDT
Post Comment | View Comments (1) | Permalink
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Where Were You When I Needed Ya, Where Were You When I Wanted Ya?
Mood:  spacey
Topic: "Master of None" (8)

Frodo wonders if writers ever have too much material?  Surely, in Middle Earth, there is presently no shortage of irrational political comments or senseless actions geared to unachievable goals.  Has this always been the case, or are we simply victims of the 24/7 news cycle?  It has gotten so bad that Frodo will not settle on a specific television channel unless the crawler "Breaking News" is prominently displayed. 

Perhaps this explains why the Hobbit is maximizing his efforts afield.  Ladies in the Shire are always giving Frodo flowers to plant amid that which is already crowded all about.  There generally follows a discussion about him becoming a "Master Gardener," and learning how to further expand his personal link with tropical growth.  Frodo has learned that there are many ladies, but few masculine types about to pull weeds and to show off their abs.

Frodo has also read about a program developed by the Audubon Society in which one learns to become a "Master Birder."  Sightings and songs are the measurements for success around short jaunts to parks and fields in the nearby trails encircling the Shire.  Frodo may enjoy this even more, given the fact that becoming a "birdwatcher" was not a necessary component of Frodo's adult life goals.  This, certainly, requires something more than a glossy brochure and a saliva-filled sales pitch.

Perhaps in jest, a sportsperson has also recommended that Frodo expand his bass-catching expertise to include cold-water trout in the nearby mountains of North Georgia.  Purchasing fly rods and flies to go with specialized tackle could be more expensive than the Hobbit is willing to consider.  He snickered when informed that such skill wins one the title of "Master Baiter."  Probable it is that, not unlike the play on words therein, the Hobbit does not need any assistance in furthering his proficiency.

All of this relates, of course, to an organized plan in active retirement.  For now, the unseasonably warm days, and the continuing presence of the aged Mick, the Wonder Dog, keep Frodo busy.  These, he knows, last not forever.  A major literary assault is eveningtide underway as Frodo pursues his effort to read at least one book by everybody, just so that no one be disappointed.  Fareed Zakaria is the current target, Dorothy Parker to follow.  Noted on his Kindle is the World War II centered addition, scheduled for release in September, to the latest trilogy of Ken Follet (this may mean that Diana Gabaldon remains on the inactive list even longer).

Busy, busy, busy. 



Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:07 PM EDT
Post Comment | View Comments (1) | Permalink
Thursday, April 5, 2012
I Wanna Sing You a Love Song
Mood:  vegas lucky
Topic: "The Boys of '63" (8)

Frodo has been asked to read a manuscript.  It is much, much more than Frodo expected.  Since much of the text involves real people and real places known to him, it is difficult for Frodo to retain a truly objective opinion.  Simply because the odds are great that what has been written will never reach the public marketplace, and because there is so much value in the banter of young men as innocence stands naked in their headlights, Frodo offers a setting, and some dialogue. 

It is the spring of 1963.  A bus transits small towns in Appalachia with a cargo of young men, who play baseball.  What follows herein is copyrighted material whose use is assumed solely for the purpose of non-commercial reference.

"He was staring out the window as if searching for something unseen, or contemplating something far away from baseball and our bus.  Half turning in his seat, Bob responded with his own query, 'what do you think is out there?'"

"You know, out there, beyond everything, where we all go when we punch out, when the big game is over?"

"Professor Neal was talking about the Great Depression last week and about how desperate things were.  He talked about how a lot of rich people thought the government should just let nature take its course, and let the country recover on its own steam.  And these people hated Roosevelt, they didn't just disagree with him or dislike him, they hated him for what he was doing with government programs and the New Deal creating make work jobs and programs to help poor people actually survive with some dignity and try to get back on their feet."

"What Roosevelt said when he ran for re-election in 1936 really hit home and I memorized the words after hearing them just that one time in the Professor's lecture.  It goes like this 'The immortal Dante tells us that the sins of the cold blooded are measured in different scales.  Better the occasional faults of a government that lives in a spirit of charity than the persistent omissions of a government frozen in the ice of its own indiffrence.'"

"I guess where I come down is believing that whatever the best thing is that's out there will be the place for the warm hearted."

For long minutes neither of us said anything as we both looked out the window at the greening Tennessee landscape, slipping serenely by as the Fuller bus hummed along, amid the murmuring of light banter in the conversations around us.

That night, in the dormitory, we lit farts. 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:06 AM EDT
Updated: Thursday, April 5, 2012 10:10 AM EDT
Post Comment | View Comments (2) | Permalink
Saturday, March 31, 2012
What Will I Be, When I Grow Up To Be a Man
Mood:  accident prone
Topic: "Well, Poop"(8)

"Mr. Frodo."

"Who dat?"

"This is God."

"Yo, Big Guy, Wassup?

"Where were you last night?"

"Whatchu mean?  Where was I?  I lined up my Financial Planner, you know him, Mark, the Pharisee?  Then I started arranging for wire transfers of more than $650M to banks all around the world.  Based on what you'd said, I then. . ."

"Whoa, big fella."

"Don't shush me Dude.  I was making big plans because you implied that I was about to take on some new business in your behalf."

"Then how come you didn't go to Baltimore like I told you?'

"Baltimore?  I thought you said 'Bald No More.'  Weren't you telling me to put bear grease on my skull and then. . ."

"No.  I was telling you to use the primary machine at the convenience store in Baltimore County."

"Hmph.  I guess, what we have here is, 'Failure to communicate.'"

"Well, any way, now we have to figure out how. . ."

"Figure. Schmigure.  You think I didn't hear about the Dude in Kansas who got struck by lightning after buying a couple of lottery tickets that had several winning numbers?  I'm not sure I wanna mess with you at all."

"That was Randolph Terry, the Anti-Choice Fruitcake."

"No kiddin'?"

"It was just my way of letting everyone know that Deism was a bad idea even for Thomas Jefferson."

"So, did you set Tom up with Sally Hemmings?"

"It would be inconsistent for me to first say I was involved in affairs on the small, blue planet, then to deny the possibility."

"Okay, that's fair.  What about Halle Berry?  You know her?"

"Mr. Frodo, can we get back to the lottery, and how to help you move $600M into the hands of the poor and the underprivileged?"

"Oh yeah.  Good point.  But can we talk about Halle Berry a little later?"



Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:03 PM EDT
Post Comment | View Comments (1) | Permalink
Friday, March 30, 2012
I Wonder If You Think About It, Once Upon a Time, In Your Wildest Dreams
Mood:  happy
Topic: "176,000,000 to 1"(8)

Okay, here's the deal.  If, dear reader, you post to Frodo, Keeper of the Ring, by Midnight this eve, AND if Frodo or Sam should win the MEGA MILLIONS drawing, then you share in the prize money.  Now keep in mind that the approximately $600M only goes so far, but no matter how one dices it, we will all become members of the top 1%.  In addition, what Frodo will also do is to walk right up to Willard Mitt, with his $600M check in hand, and say "WM, I understand that because of your Father's legacy that your investments paid you a paltry $42M this past year?  You know what Frodo has to say about that?  Well, WM, Frodo says 'Is that all?'"

Frodo would be very pleased to pay his taxes at a rate higher than that of the poverty-stricken Willard Mitt.

Frodo and Sam have been thinking good thoughts for the ASPCA, the people who fight ALS, the homeless, and everyone else who believes that Willard Mitt is truly a dork, or whoever needs a helping hand.  Yes, President Obama will also be well-advised to take Frodo's call, even at 3 A.M.

So, before the Evening News cuts on, say a lfew kind words for the Hobbits, and know that you are in the mix with the Hobbits of the Shire.

Last one in the pool is a rotten egg. 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 4:32 PM EDT
Post Comment | View Comments (1) | Permalink
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
On a Day Like Today
Mood:  don't ask
Topic: "Train Wreck"(8)

Frodo is learning patience, but he is not evolving into a nincompoop.  Two prior disappointments, known as "Bush v. Gore" and "Citizens United," established a precedent for whatever it will be that our current trauma is labelled in our national history.  Despite the addition of a few new members to the SCOTUS, familiar names continue to pluck pubic hairs from the soft drink cans of society.  Frodo is quietly pessimistic.

Jeffrey Toobin, an attorney with the countenance of a leprechaun, utilized the title above in a Tweet/Twitter (whatever) from the inner sanctum of the Supreme Court this very day.  His comment was that the attorney representing the "good guys" was getting reamed by the "Hole in the Wall" gang (dressed in black, no less).  Frodo looked for Greta of the artifically structured nasal passages for clarity.  It was Greta, after all, who impressed Frodo because she first caught the significance of the wording on that terrible night when the Incomparable Moron was issued the national checkbook.  Fortunately, he was unable to devote sufficient resources of time to the effort.  Frodo sees no reason to believe that the eventual outcome will be anything other than bad news for "truth, justice, and the American Way."

Frodo recalls the one occasion when he visited the Land of the Lost.  Knowing that he had no school the next day because of the impending field trip, Frodo and Andy Cleland stayed up late shooting baskets and drinking soft drinks (out of a bottle).  Upon their arrival to the Supreme Court a'morrow, they were both barely awake as they descended upon the wooden pews that offered neither comfort nor cups of coffee.  They noted the presence of the young men in suits all along the walls of the chamber, but paid them no mind.

Frodo felt the hand clasped on his shoulder, shaking him firmly in order to waken him.  As he snorkled back to semi-consciousness, he noted that each of the "suits" was dispatching self amongst his classmates waking up those unable to tolerate the boring, boring, BORING discussion that had something to do with recordings of conversations over the telephone.  

Frodo probably decided at that very moment that there would not be enough wealth or prestige in all the world to be gained by another five minutes in that chamber beneath the Colosseum.  Much less, he avers, by spending any more time on the rantings of seekers of justice who waste what little pleasures they get out of life because they became barristers. 

Frodo still wipes off every coke can before he pops the top.  Clarence Thomas would never understand.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:43 PM EDT
Post Comment | View Comments (1) | Permalink
Sunday, March 25, 2012
I Know You're Out There Somewhere
Mood:  irritated
Topic: "PPSI?"

A measurement of 1500 PPSI is cpnsidered unhealthy.  This past Monday, the Shire experienced an all-time record, and on Tuesday the previous day's record was surpassed by more than 1500 PPSI.  9,369 particles per square inch descended upon every imaginable surface.  For the uninitiated, the subject measurement is of tree pollen.

Every keystroke on Frodo's computer is followed by a tiny miasmic wisp.  His left ocular orb is red enough to halt automotive traffic.  Sam has spent exactly eight and one-half minutes outside over the past four days.  Mick, the Wonder Dog, leaves tiny yellow footprints from the front porch to every marked urinary release for days on end.  At the same time, the gardens of the Shire are stunningly beautiful.  Every flowering plant in the world is abloom.

The fourth mildest winter ever recorded in Middle Earth has just been concluded, and the earliest blooming plants (forsythia, pussywillow, daffodil) are joined by those whose blossoms usually occur long after the passage of Easter (dogwoods, white azaleas, gladiolus).  The biggest culprits, according to scientific sources, are oak and maple trees which incidentally seem to be everywhere.  Frodo cannot tolerate being indoors, even with the NCAA Tournament at full tilt, when there is so much beauty (even with blossoms covered by blowing alien pollen) to behold.

A runny nose and scratchy eyes is small price to pay.  Besides, it provides one more opportunity for the worst-managed metropolis on the small blue planet to chant, "We're Number One." 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:47 AM EDT
Post Comment | View Comments (1) | Permalink
Monday, March 12, 2012
Any Day Now
Mood:  on fire
Topic: "Number, Please"(8)

The story you are about to hear is true.  Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent.

"Yes Ma'm, you can certainly help me.  My name is Frodo.  I am calling about telephone number 202-555-1212, which was my business telephone number.  Since I retired effective December 31st, I have received one 'Final Bill' and three 'Revised Final Bill'.  I paid the 'Final Bill' timely, and each of the first two 'Revised Final Bill' were satisfied timely also." 

"You're welcome.  My problem seems to be that this latest 'Revised Final Bill' is to satisy costs for Internet Service during the month of March.  Since, the line is inoperative, and the business is closed, it makes me wonder why I'm being charged for service in the first place."

"No Ma'm, this was not my residential number."

"Ma'm, I'm calling the number on the invoice which says "Questions Concerning Internet Charges."

"Well Ma'm, since the invoice is addressed to a corporation, doesn't it seem logical that you all would know that this was a business line?"

"Yes Ma'm, I'm acutely aware of the 'Citizens United' decision."

"Ma'm, I just went through ten minutes on hold, and correctly pushed designated buttons five times in order to ensure that a 'business' customer service person could help me as opposed to a 'residential' customer service person."

"Yes Ma'm, I understand.  Could you first give me the number to which I'm being transferred in case we get cut. . ."

Sam stands over Frodo in order to prevent him from throwing the telephone out of an open window.

"She did that on purpose, and I'll bet she's back there laughing with Ron Paul about the effectiveness of the private sector."

"Okay, I'll try again, but I'll try the number on the invoice that says 'Internet Services' this time."

"Yeah, it sounds logical to me, too."

Twenty-five minutes later.

"I'm sorry, could you repeat what you just said?"

"Sir, are you stationed in a foreign country?"

"No, I mean outside the US of A."

"That's America."

"No, I'm not calling about international service, I'm calling about being charged for internet service and I don't know why, or how to stop it, or anything."

"Please, could you help an old Hobbit and just speak a little slower?"

"That's much better.  Thank you.  Now let me start again.  My number is 202-555-1212. . ."

"No, no.  You're right the number is not in service.  No. no, please don't hang up. . ."

One hour later.

"I'm going to go through the website for AT&T.  I will follow every step as directed, and receive a response within twenty-four hours.  Oh Happy Day!"

One hour and fifteen minutes later.

"Well Sam, methinks I've followed every protocol and have documented the situation as if it were a legal brief for the Supreme Court.  All I have to do now is press ENTER. . .What, where did everything go?  I'll try the 'back' arrow. . ."

"Yes, I'd like to speak with Mr. T?  As in A T & T" you moron.  .  ."


"Where is the checkbook?"


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:02 PM EDT
Post Comment | View Comments (1) | Permalink
Sunday, March 11, 2012
I'm a Road Runner Baby
Mood:  a-ok
Topic: "Frodo's Retirement"(8)

Frodo is approaching the issue of retirement with a sense of resolve.  "Frodo will accomplish something each and every day.  It may not be much, but he will be able to look back and say I did 'X,' or I did 'X+1'.  It may be," he said "something entirely different or totally absent from my 'To Do' list, but something will get done."  Frodo's sense of obligation herein is matched only by that of Barack Obama (President of the USA).

Frodo planned to wash his motorcar this date.  It threatened rain however, so that item was shelved.  The rain, it seems, has now, also, been re-scheduled. 

Frodo has measured and drawn a plan of action to refurbish the gazebo which stands in the gardens of the Shire.  The gazebo has come under periodic assault from the squirrels who serve as resident Taliban insurgents.  Being Sunday however, Frodo felt that the crowds at the Home Depot of the Shire would increase his level of anxiety, so he re-scheduled his task until Monday's planned supply run.

Frodo needs to visit Lake Lovey and repair a few leaks on his pontoon boat.  There is a C-4 explosive lookalike substance which meets the need, but Frodo always fears that a misplaced match may destroy all of East Tennessee.  Besides, it is a healthy drive, and Sam needs to pack provisions with a 'prep time' that exceeds Frodo's whimsical plans.

A neighbor in the Shire has given Frodo a beaucoup number of strawberry plants from her garden.  Frodo has created a potential gold mine of strawberries, and with the able assistance of Mick, the Wonder Dog, who has been assigned the task of pest aversion (mainly squirrels again), routinely patrols the area to ensure the safe maturation of the new breed (dubbed 'Frodo's Beauties').  This assignment is on-going.

As Frodo swept the remnants of yesterday's trim job from the driveway, he noticed something which had not been there yesterday.  Lying on its face was a fully-grown Cooper's Hawk.  Frodo turned the creature face-up and mistakenly took abdominal movements as respiration.  Soon Frodo realized that this beautiful creature had reached a premature end.  There was no blood, no sign of injury, and the body was flexible and warm.  The end had been recent.

All of Frodo's neighbors were gone, so there was none save Sam to share in the ceremony that Frodo conducted.  Mick, the Wonder Dog, paid proper homage and sniffed the remains from head-to-tail, and, as they always do, then he walked away from the smell of death.  Frodo had a million questions, and he thought about taking the remains to the Chattahoochee Nature Center for a potential autopsy.  "Too busy they are," he thought.  "Better it is to return him into the cycle of life-and-death beneath the skies that he had owned. and beneath the ground where he hunted", said the choking Hobbit.

Frodo welcomed him home, amid the reality that what Frodo accomplished this day was important.  He maintained Dominion, as was required.  Some jobs, he thought, are worth doing, and worth doing right.


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:45 PM EDT
Post Comment | View Comments (1) | Permalink
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Kiss An Angel Good Mornin'
Mood:  amorous
Topic: "Early Admission" (8)

On the day before, Frodo felt that nothing could go wrong.  Less than six weeks into the academic calendar, he found himself accepted as a matriculant to-be at the College of the Shire.  Fewer than twenty-four hours later, the President of the United States was dead.  Frodo recalled those feelings as he looked into the eyes of one who knows history as history, and not as if it had happened just hours ago.

She will attend Spelman College, and she will study biology.  She desires a career in Pediatrics.  Her early admission, as was that of the Hobbit, is filled with hope.  The difference being, perhaps, no more than the fact that her heroes will live as Frodo's died. 

She will however ride with her stepfather each and every day as he manuvers through the hurdles of interstate transportation.  Frodo would never have agreed to such an arrangement.

She will however spend countless hours initiating flow charts and marketing presentations from thin air.  Frodo only remotely comprehends what magic it is that has completely changed the analytical tools at his fingertips.

She will however spend less time in a library during all four of her years than Frodo did in but half of any year.  Everything is on-line, and hard copy is too, well, too.

She will however accumulate more debt in four years than Frodo has in a lifetime.  Paying-as-you-go is a concept that is alien to the twentieth-and-one of centuries.

Her challenges are much, much greater than those encountered by the Hobbit.  She will however handle them better, and she will succeed beyond the wildest dreams of the Hobbit or of this young friend who lives across the street in the Shire.

It is as it should be.  There ain't no free lunch.    


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:58 PM EST
Post Comment | View Comments (1) | Permalink

Newer | Latest | Older