Frodo, Keeper of the Ring

Friday, January 8, 2016

In My Hometown
Mood:

blue
Topic: "Water Into Wine" (11)

Frodo moved before he started school. He moved again from temporary quarters. His first real home was in a place where everyone else moved, as if Frodo was always meant to develop imaginary friends and silent speeches. His adult years demanded periodic relocations as his skills and self-awareness were expanded in important directions. When he and Sam settled in the Shire they were far removed from nearly all that they knew, and their home was thus, but it was never in his home town.

Frodo has never been to Michigan. He most probably will never visit Michigan. It is cold there, and Frodo is increasingly reluctant to frost his own pumpkin, willingly. Michael Moore, whose humor is admired by the Hobbit is the only person Frodo can recall who is from Michigan. Flint, Frodo understands is the town that Moore calls home.

Given the events of the recent past, Frodo has decided to call Flint, Michigan his hometown. Absent a real hometown, Frodo is hereby adopting a town which truly needs to attract Middle Earthlings desperately. Mismanagement on many levels has poured polluted waters into Frodo's new hometown. It appears as if there are more than 9000 children who have consumed poisonous lead, and for whom there is apparently little that can be done about it. This abuse of governmental responsibility continues today, and even worse is the fact that officials have known about the poisoning for over a year.

Please pardon Frodo as he pukes in the parking lot.

It id one hell of a note to befall his hometown. It shames us all, all of us who love our hometowns.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 4:21 PM EST

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Friday, September 25, 2015

Song Sung Blue
Mood:

don't ask
Topic: "Bridge at Andau"(11)

By sheer happenstance, Frodo had access to literally hundreds of individual issues of the National Geographic Magazine throughout his formative years The relevance thereto reflects on the presence of nakedness as opposed to countless maps and diagrams. In fact, Frodo took bolder steps as he "matured" seeking similarity to potential comparisons in closer proximity to the Shire. It was the Reader's Digest that offered him early fabled verbal descriptions that went beyond any photograph.

In 1956 the brave people of Hungary stood in front of Soviet tanks to obtain freedom. A year later the effort collapsed and the Hungarian freedom fighters were brought under the iron heel of Soviet troops. Not unlike Davy Crockett, it "was freedom fightin' another foe" to the hobbit and he amassed everything he could in order to prepare for the inevitable struggle for Middle Earth. It was then that Frodo came across the name of James Michener.

Michener wrote a book describing the torture faced by the insurgents and in that book he described physicality that surpassed the attraction of naked native boobies. Michener alleged that, in order to obtain information, the Soviets inserted glass tubes into the penises of their captives and struck the glass tubes until they shattered into miniscule pieces of glass.

Frodo felt instant pain when next he contemplated taking a piss. In fact, he probably avoided any physical touching of his genitalia for at least a week (after all he was pre-teen in Eisenhower's America). The fact remains however that it was a written word which had painted him a picture, and it was James Michener who opened the door to stories which rivaled the Minotaur and the Plains of Troy.

Thank you Sir. Sad it is however that the Hungarians fail to treat thousands of immigrants as if all suffering ended more than fifty years ago. Suffering seems never to be extinguished, saddest when applied by those who know its impact and seemingly ignore bloodstains even on their own hands. How much further is the bridge?

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 12:46 PM EDT

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Monday, August 24, 2015

Rainy Days and Mondays Always Make Me
Mood:

not sure
Topic: "Fallin' Behind"(11)

Frodo has taken to the logical computation of his remaining days on the small blue planet. Surely, he notes, he has been here longer than he will be here in the future, but by how much? He wonders because of all the familiar names he comes across who once shared something somewhat noteworthy with the hobbit. The semi-scientific analysis is responsible for Frodo's continuing absence from the keyboard. It is the reason he wastes few extra moments inside when he needs to be outside, enjoying his (potentially) last day in the Gardens of the Shire.

Claudia Smith, once known affectionately as "Chunki," is no more. Tom, "Root" Rudisill has succumbed. The death of Harmon Killebrew drew comment from friend and foe alike equally aware of Frodo's admiration for his favorite player many moons ago. It is not surprising therefore that the hobbit finds many reasons to avoid an inside seat with a window on the world. Better, he thinks, to be outside, even if it is to simply pull a weed or pursue the rabid squirrels who draw his ire and call his canine associates into action.

It is also too damn hot. Frodo learned during yesterday's rainstorm that July represented the hottest month in recorded history worldwide, and that 2015 is anticipated to be the year to have the equivalent title. The magnificent Dandy and friend Tess yet demand an outing at the dog park, but shadowy spots soon draw their attention and an early trip home is not unappreciated most days.

Life amid these days is Monday on one hand, and rainy on the other. It is however, preferable to the alternative.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:00 PM EDT

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Wednesday, July 22, 2015

I'm a Stubborn Kind of Fella
Mood:

energetic
Topic: "Rechargin' da Shire"(11)

Over the past four days Frodo endured temperatures in excess of 95 (F) at every turn. He wheelbarrowed (note the word creation feature of the hobbit) one ton of pea gravel and more than 10 cubic yards of red mulch from his driveway into the nooks and crannies of the gardens of the Shire.This is the third time that he has undergone this mammoth task and he has drawn curiosity seekers from far and wide who felt adequate to observe, but incapable of assistance. It mattered not, the hobbit failed to be deterred.

Frodo has learned many lessons from his past adventures into the arboreal. His new plants sit in well-drained pots mobile to adjustments for sun and shade. Native growth is all about but nothing dominates the entire landscape. Bodies of water, including the "Mr. Turtle Pool," are clean and provide no pediatric benefit to hatching mosquitoes. Songbirds are more numerous than at any time in the past, and the squirrels are having an increased level of difficulty in their continuing efforts to strip every bird feeder created by man or hobbit.

There are fewer butterflies than is traditionally so. The milkweed that attracts Admirals and Swallowtails is not present. Frittalaria are massive in number and the passion fruit flower among the azaleas and the nameless plants with berries and vines as their support. Frodo ignores the protestations of Sam who seems to stumble inside just as a flotilla of caterpillar converts rise to meet the morning sun.

The refurbished gardens are truly magnificent. Frodo is joined in his gazebo by his canine assembly who endlessly enjoy the rustlings in the underbrush. The breeze carries sweet challenges to their olfactories and they lie against the sturdy legs of the seated hobbit. Every morning adds something new. Frodo's hard work is a reward.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:54 PM EDT

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Monday, July 13, 2015

I've Loved You All Over the World
Mood:

crushed out
Topic: "Buy a Subaru" (11)

www.youtube.com/watch?V=cpYxJs6D434

Frodo has never before posted in this fashion. The marketing geniuses working with Subaru deserve some special consideration however and so this path is opened. How fitting that on the night Frodo returns to the world, he finds himself with moist eyes, once again. Completing a "bucket list" for "my buddy, my pal, my friend" is something Frodo wishes he had thought of some years ago, and something he will share with Dandy when the time softly comes. Enjoy dear reader. Frodo is on the loose.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:31 PM EDT

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Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Hello Darkness My Old Friend
Mood:

not sure
Topic: "Good Friday, Maybe"(11)

Frodo felt positively vindicated a few days ago. A masterful stroke by Aragorn enveloped the hypocrisy of those who oppose him. The black gate laid asunder before all the peoples of Middle Earth, save the Grey Company. Sanctions were successful and there was no longer a need for weapons of mass destruction. Frodo could not take pleasure in the politic, he was grateful that peace was at hand.

Then, in a short biography somewhere between Section C and the Obituaries, he saw the name of Eddie LeBaron. A Hobbit to be sure, the one-time quarterback of the Washington Redskins, and Frodo's earliest favorite player. He was backed up by Ralph Gugliemi and Eagle Day, successors to the title of Slingin' Sammy. The Redskins truly stunk. They were the last team to have a black player. They were coached by men who had no talent for the game, and they were housed in a stadium that was not safe for pedestrian traffic. Only the golden arm of the shortest quarterback in the league produced any points at all for the team with the best fight song in all the land.

Eddie LeBaron is dead. He lies now on the altar before Touchdown Jesus. Frodo stands alone, not nearly as tall as the quarterback who taught him that the game is what matters. Hail to the Redskins, and thank you Eddie, for all those passes that eluded Dickie James and Billy Barnes.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:45 PM EDT

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Friday, February 20, 2015

It's My Party and I'll Cry if I Want To
Mood:

bright
Topic: "Elect Jeff Jackson"(10)

Frodo hates cold weather. In that regard he differed little from the entire North Carolina Legislature who chose not to attend the legislative session this past Wednesday due to inclement conditions. That is with the exception of Jeff Jackson (D) who was greeted at the front door by security personnel who informed him that he was the only member to show up. Admittedly, Frodo might have turned around and gone home had he been in Rep. Jackson's place.

Rep. Jackson, a fine looking lad be he, decided to take advantage of the opportunity presented to him. Through several assorted social media channels, Rep. Jackson informed interested parties of the activities of the Legislature, which was him. By voice vote the Legislature endorsed the Medicaid expansion which had failed to pass the Republican filibuster. Rep. Jackson voted "Aye." In fact, the Legislature passed nearly all of the outstanding pieces of legislation by, strangely enough, conclusive votes of one-to-zero.

Yesterday, nearly the entire membership returned to duty. The Republicans were not amused.

Ha!

Frodo will begin tracking this inspired young man. He thinks there is a place for him on a national ticket, perhaps in 2024.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:32 AM EST

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Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Ahab The Arab, Sheik of The Burning Sand
Mood:

rushed
Topic: "Baby Nathan Yahoo"(10)

The Prime Minister of Israel is drawn from the pyre of Denethor. Despite the need for all the personages of Middle Earth to share in the threat by Isis this manipulative moron would sacrifice all to satisfy his political desires. Imagine, on the other hand, Hamas and Israeli standing side-by-side against the nihilistic caliphate. This was the scenario pictured by Lord Tolkien.

Frodo presented his case well when he said: "All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost. From the ashes a fire shall be woken, A light from the shadows shall spring; Renewed shall be blade that was broken: The crownless again shall be king." Despite the strength of the threat emanating from those with an eschatological end of times belief, there are small warriors able to meet the challenge. They must first however remove the obstacles presented by those who never rise to join, only to harangue.

Nethanyahu is shrewd, and he is beyond any level of trust. Boehner is impotent. Putin is bankrupt. The Koch brothers seek to pass a camel through the eye of a needle. Frodo's admiration for he who entered as the Strider and who stands as Aragorn grows stronger every day. The struggle is against those who are blind and who seek to possess the Ring at all costs. They are more than clowns, and worse than fools.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 12:49 PM EST

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Sunday, February 15, 2015

Six Hundred Miles to the Mexican Border
Mood:

cool
Topic: "Equinox Approaching"(10)

The Gardens of the Shire are nearly always in bloom. Even in the dead of winter the hollies are loaded with fat-rich red berries for robins and cedar wax wings in abundance. Cypress are deep and green for the cardinals who use them for cover as well as afternoon snacking. Soon forsythia and pussy willows will be first to burst, followed by the bulbs of gladiola, tulip, crocus. It is hard to visualize when it is so damn cold outside, even for just a few days. The hobbit dares not go barefoot in mid-February.

Dandy's heritage is Swiss, and his paws are brushy with protective cover. Perhaps he thinks his best friend is truly a pussy, and he softly whines as if in reminder of the joys of the dog park nearby. Sunday it is, and the dog park is populated by owners unskilled in canine management and the inevitable resulting conflicts are preferably avoided by wiser heads who avoid these locations on weekends. Despite a forecast for precipitation, the hobbit will find a convenient time on the morrow to share with Tess and Dandy among their own kind despite the dropping thermometer.

Frodo is planning alterations to the Gardens of the Shire. More sun will offer opportunities for certain annuals; begonias seem to do especially well. River stone will be expanded to cover trails and red mulch will brighten the darkness beneath the leaves of the native plants and trees which intersperse every turn one makes. Again, it is difficult to visualize when the wind chills everything in sight, and Dandy is bored.

Alas, near doggie dinnertime it is, and Frodo's companions are demonstrative. A shame it is that it is just too damn cold, especially when the sky is so blue. Let us hope that the chill breaks early in the A.M. and wish that warmer temperatures won't be so far away.

That is a pretty neat little titular segue says the hobbit. Even if no one is here to appreciate it. It is cold outside, you know.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 4:01 PM EST

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Friday, February 13, 2015

Baby if I Made You Mad, Something I Might Have Said
Mood:

amorous
Topic: "Balls"(10)

Social media, if that's what we'r known for, seems to be fixated with balls. The quarterback of the Super Bowl winning New England Patriots may have started it when he found himself in the squabble lane amid improperly inflated balls. Snickering commenced and in a manner that would've made Rachel Ames angry, nobody seemed capable of laughing out loud. The mentor of the wordsmith once taught that laughter was healthy, while snickering was ignorance. Frodo seems to have forgotten that lesson.

Legolas was speaking before the class. Frodo and Tom Bombadil had shared a joke in the hallway as they approached, and were snickering. From the curiously designed, but easily recognizable, faux furniture labeled as "desks" Frodo and Tom desperately tried to retain a semblance of decorum. They failed. Each time one snickered, so did the other, and no sooner did one grasp control then the other lost it. It continued, and it continued, leaving Legolas in the quandry of what was wrong, and everyone else wondered what they must have missed. Finally, Legolas could take no more, and he bellowed "What the Hell is so damn funny?" There was no rational response. The subject of the joke was juvenile, and there was no presentation that would make the class laugh.

Rachel took control when she asked the class at large if any of the assembly had ever been to a show, a movie, or any other presentation of obscenity. The whole class fell silent as one-by-one, boys and girls alike, responded. Fascinated were all as each waited to see what each other would say. Not one snicker. When it was Frodo's turn, Rachel's eyes danced over him and passed on to the next in line, without a word.

Frodo knew that the lesson was his. Much was expected of the hobbit it seems, and a great teacher knew how to make the lesson worthwhile. The laughter you hear is Frodo, wondering if Tom Brady even has any balls at all.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 1:37 PM EST

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