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" Citizen Soldiers" (5)
" Putin' Out" (5)
" Thin Ice"(9)
""I Ain't Got Much" (5)
""Soft Memories" (7)
"$100, Are You Sure?" (5)
"0 Preservative Added"(2)
"105 Minute Workday"(9)
"16 Percent Factor"(3)
"176,000,000 to 1"(8)
"26 Damn Dollars"(6)
"3 Percent Turnout" (2)
"37 Come 11" (5)
"3:10 to Yuma" (7)
"50 Weeks of Reality TV"
"501 (c)(4)"
"54 Pounds" (8)
"8.8 Pounds"(6)
"A Capitol Idea" (6)
"A Code in My Node"
"A Course is a Course"(2)
"A Day At The Beach" (3)
"A Dog Named Bo" (5)
"A Hobbit of an Idea"
"A Man's Army"
"A Patriot Act" (7)
"A Patriotic Act"
"A Perfect World"
"A soldier booed?'(7)
"A Space Odyssey" (4)
"A Taxing Story" (5)
"A Thousand Campfires"(4)
"A Three Hour Tour"(8)
"A Touch of Class"(5)
"A Waisted Day" (5)
"A Woman Scorned"
"Aagh,I'll Pay,I'll Pay"
"Abe Wong, of Gondor"(5)
"Act I, Scene I" (8)
"Act I, Scene II" (8)
"Act I, Scene III" (8)
"Adjustable 2nd Card"(3)
"Adjusting Policies"
"Adjusting the Clock"(8)
"Aegean Adventure" (2)
"Ah ah ah Stayin' Alive"
"Airline Highway" (5)
"Alan Scott" (7)
"All Aboard"
"All Bets Are In" (2)
"All Charged Up"
"All Good Things" (4)
"Allah Be Praised" (5)
"Almost Heaven" (2)
"Alpha Dog"(7)
"Alright, Who Did It?"(7)
"Also Sprach Frodo" (4)
"Always Wear Gloves" (3)
"AM Radio Next?"
"America's Toilet" (6)
"American Cemetery"(8)
"An Admission"
"An Apple A Day" (7)
"An Hour A Day" (6)
"An Ugly American"(4)
"Anchorman" (6)
"And the Winner Is" (2)
"Andy Griffith Redux"
"Another Single Woman?"
"Another Three-namer"(5)
"Another Time/Place"(4)
"Anvil Throwin' Time"(8)
"Apocalypse Now?" (3)
"Aragorn" (4)
"Armored Dildos" (3)
"As Far As We Know" (2)
"Ask Ann Landers" (3)
"Assembly LineDancing"(4)
"Astronaughty" (2)
"Atlanta Times Three"
"Augmentation" (2)
"Augustus Agonistes" (5)
"Aurora Borealis" (8)
"Autumnal Observances"(2)
"Avast You Lubbers"(6)
"Baby Doctors (2)"
"Baby Fiona"(7)
"Baby Nathan Yahoo"(10)
"Back Door Basra (2)"
"Back inthe Saddle Again"
"Bad Boys, Bad Boys"
"Bad Time for Bonzo" (3)
"Balance of Nature" (3)
"Balance of Payments"(5)
"Balancing the Budget"
"Ballamer" (4)
"Bang the Drum Slowly"
"Bank Prank" (5)
"Baptists are Pussies"(7)
"Barbed Wire Escape (2)"
"Barbie Banditos" (3)
"Barely Bearble"(7)
"Barely Defensible" (2)
"Barry Me Not (2)"
"Bathroom onna Right"(3)
"Beach Music" (7)
"Because It Is Hard" (4)
"Beechwood 4-5789"(6)
"Belling the Cat" (2)
"Ben McGee" (3)
"Benny and the Jets"(5)
"Berlusconi in Love"(6)
"Best be straight Boy"(5)
"Best Day/Worst Day"(6)
"Best in the South" (5)
"Best in the World?"(5)
"Betray Us" (3)
"Bettah than Etta"(4)
"Better Man" (3)
"Better Than Pong"
"Big Time Sports" (3)
"Big Words,LittleMind"(6)
"Bilbo's Birthday (2)"
"Bilbo's Little Boy"(5)
"Bilbo's Revenge" (5)
"Bill and Hillary (2)"
"Billy World" (2)
"Bimini Babes" (3)
"Bird is the Word" (3)
"Birmingham Jail" (5)
"Birthday Baggins"
"Birthday Buddies" (7)
"Birthday Memory" (4)
"Birthin' No Babies" (3)
"Bishop to King's Castle"
"Black Friday" (2)
"Black Gold, Texas Tea"
"Black Hole Blues" (4)
"Black Jack"
"Black Russians" (6)
"Black Widow" (3)
"Blackboard Jungle"
"Blame Game" (3)
"Bleached Bones" (5)
"Blitzkrieg Bellini" (2)
"Blood and Swash" (3)
"Bloopers" (5)
"Blue Christmas" (2)
"Bo's Birthday"(5)
"Bob Sikes' Cut"(9)
"Bob, Bob, Bobbit" (3)
"Bobby, not Ben"(6)
"Bon Air Bellicose" (4)
"Bon Giorno" (6)
"Bona Lisa" (5)
"Bonds-v-Skvara" (3)
"Boo Boo Poo Poo"(9)
"Boromir & Galadriel"(5)
"Bottled in Thyme"(7)
"Bottom Ten"(9)
"Bovine Stem Cells?"
"Boy, I Say Boy"
"Boycott BP"
"Breaker, Breaker" (4)
"Breakin' rules" (7)
"Breaking News" (7)
"Brer Fox (2)"
"Bridge at Andau"(11)
"Bring Back Ross" (2)
"Bring the Bowl"
"Broken News"(10)
"Brother of the Ring"
"Brownback Mountain"
"Brownie Hawkeye"
"Buckwheat Breathes" (2)
"Bumper Sticker"
"Burn Baby, Burn" (3)
"Bush in the Bullrushes"
"Bush Baby, Bush (2)"
"Bush is Chinese?" (2)
"Bush Press Conference"
"Bush-Bashers Be We (2)"
"Busman's Holiday(2)"
"Butt...Butt...Butt" (3)
"Butterflies? Sheesh!"
"Buttermilk Drops" (3)
"Buy a Subaru" (11)
"Buy Stock in America"(6)
"Cabin Fever" (5)
"Cain Not Able" (7)
"Cake in the Rain"
"Cake in the Rain"(3)
"Call Me Ishmael" (3)
"Callista, an Albino?"(7)
"Camp Pleasant" (2)
"Can She Name Them?(2)"
"Can You Hear Me Now?"
"Canaan Conspiracy"(6)
"Candygram" (4)
"Captive Audience"(6)
"Caramel or Carmel?"(3)
"Carolina Cougar(2)"
"Carolina Curmudgeon" (5)
"Cartoon Characters" (3)
"Case of Packy Stann"(3)
"Cash crash crashed?"(5)
"Cat Fight" (5)
"Caterpillar Quandry" (3)
"Causal Relationships"(9)
"Cause It's One, (2)"
"Ceramic s"
"Ch-ch-changin'" (4)
"Change a'comin" (5)
"Change is Good" (5)
"Change?" (3)
"Changin' Channels" (2)
"Chapter 13"
"Chariots of Fire"
"Chariots' a' Comin'"(4)
"Chassahowitzka" (2)
"Chauncey Gardner"(7)
"Chemical Alley" (6)
"Cheney of Fools" (2)
"Cherem" (3)
"Chew my Gazebo, Willya?"
"Chief Noc-a-Homa" (3)
"Chingachgook Lives"
"Chipmonkeys Alert (2)"
"Chipper" (6)
"Christian Balls"(10)
"Christian the Lion"(4)
"Christian Valuelessness"
"Christmas Communique"(3)
"Christmas, 1936" (2)
"Chutzpah Hooters" (4)
"Cilled a Bar?" (3)
"Cindy, oh Cindy"(4)
"Citizen Soldiers" (2)
"Clark and Lois (2)"
"Classified Ads are Cool"
"Claymore Gregg" (3)
"Clean Machine" (2)
"Clean up in Aisle 4!"(4)
"Climb It Chains" (8)
"Clinton Cuts" (7)
"Clone Chipper,Please"(4)
"Cockatiel Lounge" (2)
"College of the Shire"(6)
"Combat Kelly (2)"
"Come On Baby"(8)
"Come on Down" (3)
"Comin' Clean" (5)
"Comin' Home" (3)
"Commencement (2)"
"Comparables" (6)
"Condi for President" (3)
"Cone of Silence" (4)
"Conflagration" (3)
"Confusion Reigns"(10)
"Congress Goes to War (2)
"Congress' Schmidthead"
"Conspiracy Theory" (4)
"Copy Cat Chinese" (5)
"Country Roads" (7)
"Crawford Convention" (2)
"Crikey" (2)
"Crime and Punishment(2)"
"Crotch Rocket Delite"(4)
"Cult of the Wild"(7)
"Curious, George?"
"Currahee" (5)
"Da Juice Is Back" (3)
"Dad" (5)
"Damages Done (2)"
"Damn Close" (4)
"Damn It To Hell" (5)
"Damn Lies" (7)
"Dandy Dale" (7)
"Danger Will Robinson"(5)
"Danger,Will Robinson"(8)
"Darth Dick" (5)
"Darwin's Company" (4)
"Das Boot"
"Das Ende" (6)
"Date With David" (2)
"Day of Infamy" (4)
"Day-O, Me Wan Go"(7)
"De Tar-Ball Baby" (6)
"Dead Honkey"
"Dearest Bilbo"
"Debits on the Left?" (2)
"Decisions, Decisions"(6)
"Deep and Dark" (5)
"Deep Shiite" (3)
"Degree of Separation"(6)
"Deja 1958 Over Again"
"Deja Who?"(7)
"Delano" (4)
"Diazinon Ditties (2)"
"Dick Clark Top 10(2)"
"Dimmer Switch" (6)
"Dirty Copter" (4)
"Do They Like Kool Aid?"
"Doctor, Mr. MD"(9)
"Dodged a Bullet"(7)
"Dogmobile" (3)
"Dogs Rule"
"Doing the Right Thing"
"Don't Cut My DSL" (5)
"Don't Feed the Animals"
"Dont Touch That Dial"(6)
"Doofus" (9)
"Doohan's Delight" (3)
"Doris Miller" (6)
"Dorothy Rose" (4)
"Double Deal" (6)
"Doubting Thomases" (3)
"Doug Williams"(4)
"Dover" (4)
"Down Below Back Home"(4)
"Downtown Cardinals"(9)
"Dr. Phil" (5)
"Dubai-Bye" (3)
"Dueling Banjos" (3)
"Dumb and Dumber" (3)
"Dumb As We Wanna Be"(3)
"Dumber Than Dirt" (3)
"Dumbest Politico (2)"
"Eager Uighurs" (4)
"Early Admission" (8)
"Eight Nine Four" (4)
"Elect Jeff Jackson"(10)
"Elizabeth I" (5)
"Emily Latella Lives"
"Emperor's Clothes" (2)
"End of the Line"
"Ending Sams Patience"(7)
"Engine Uprisin'" (4)
"Ensign Pulver"(5)
"EOTUS" (5)
"Equinox Approaching"(10)
"Equinoxious" (4)
"Escalator Escalatin'"(5)
"ESP" (6)
"Etchings, Anyone?"(5)
"Ethel Merman Lives"
"Eve, It's Oil!"
"Evenin' Govnah" (6)
"Everyday Miracles"
"Evil Thoughts" (3)
"Eye Opener" (3)
"Eyes of a Gorilla"
"Fair is Fare"(7)
"Falcon" (8)
"Fall Ball" (3)
"Fallin' Behind"(11)
"Falling Apart" (9)
"Fargo Felines" (5)
"Fashionable Frodo" (5)
"Father Ed" (3)
"Faux les Bas" (2)
"Female Insurgency (2)"
"Ferengi or Ferangi?" (3)
"Fergit? Hell No!"
"Film at 11"
"Findin' William"(11)"
"Firing US Attorneys" (3)
"First Freeze" (6)
"First Learn to Lose"
"First National Bank" (5)
"First Sentence" (8)
"Five Easy Pieces" (4)
"Float Yer Boat" (4)
"Flower Power (2)"
"Foe Years Old" (4)
"Follow the Money"
"Followin' Ava" (4)
"For More Years" (3)
"Forbidden Fruit"
"Fords and Dads" (2)
"Foreclosure Follies" (7)
"Foreclosure Notice" (6)
"Forest Primeval"(8)
"Form 666" (3)
"Forms For Everything"(6)
"Foundling Fathers"(7)
"Fourteen Years Ago?"(5)
"Fox Views" (3)
"Frack You" (7)
"Frances Died Today"(7)
"Fred's Dead Head" (3)
"Free at Last"
"Free Hidden Telecast"(4)
"Freedom? Hell No" (3)
"Friend by Your Side" (3)
"Friend by your Side" (4)
"Friendly Persuasion" (5)
"Friends of Bill" (7)
"Frist Friends"
"Frodo and Housman" (2)
"Frodo and Jesus"
"Frodo and Revere?"(7)
"Frodo And Truckers (2)"
"Frodo Dissents" (6)
"Frodo Not Foggo (2)"
"Frodo of Arabia(2)"
"Frodo Op" (5)
"Frodo Regrets"
"Frodo Study Group" (2)
"Frodo visits Bilbo"
"Frodo's Almanac"(9)
"Frodo's Bad Day"
"Frodo's Book Club"(5)
"Frodo's Dilemma" (3)
"Frodo's Faux Pas" (3)
"Frodo's Final Four" (3)
"Frodo's Foreign Policy"
"Frodo's Hall of Fame"(4)
"Frodo's Newer Friend"(6)
"Frodo's Retirement"(8)
"Frodo's Revenge"
"Frodo's Revenge"(7)
"Frodo's Solutions" (6)
"Frodo's Xmas Story"(6)
"Frodo, James Frodo" (3)
"Furriners" (4)
"Gainful Employment" (3)
"Galadriel Is No More"(3)
"Gandalf's Challenge (2)"
"Garland Duesenberry" (2)
"Gas Guzzler A-Go-Go"
"Gasp, Wheeze (2)"
"Gay Faux Holes" (5)
"Genarlow de Chariot" (3)
"Genesis Ignored" (3)
"Geneva Accords Redux"
"Geography Lesson" (3)
"George to the Rescue"(3)
"Georgia on my Mind"(3)
"Getting Your Wish" (3)
"Gidget Goes Gondor"(7)
"Gimme Head With Hair"(3)
"Girls Night Out" (6)
"Give 'em Hell, Tom" (5)
"Give Heath a Chance (2)"
"Give Us Your Tired. . ."
"Giving Way to Anger" (2)
"Glenn Frey"(11)
"Glory Days"
"Goin' Home" (3)
"Gondor Goodfellas"(9)
"Gondor Gravitas" (3)
"Good Cop" (7)
"Good Day America" (6)
"Good Friday It Was"(9)
"Good Friday, Maybe"(11)
"Good Ol Mountain Dew"(5)
"Good Son"
"Goodbye Kids (2)"
"Goodbye, Ethan" (2)
"Goodman is Hard to Find"
"Goose Again"
"GOP Convention" (3)
"Gotta Have a Home (2)"
"Grading on a Curve"
"Graffiti Government" (2)
"Great American Hero"
"Great American Hero" (2)
"Greatest Duet Ever"(6)
"Greed is Good"(5)
"Greetings" (8)
"Grissom not Gruesome"(4)
"Groupies for Edwards"(4)
"Guess We Forgot?"(8)
"Guest Workers (2)"
"Guns of August" (7)
"Guts of August" (3)
"Gwinnett Again?" (3)
"Halo, 1,2,3?" (3)
"Ham I Am" (3)
"Handi-Wipes" (3)
"Hang 'em High" (2)
"Hanky Time, Ladies"
"Happens in Threes"(5)
"Happy Anniversary"(9)
"Happy Mardi Gras"(2)
"Harpo Speaks"
"Harry" (2)
"Harry's Bar-Venice" (2)
"Hawkeye, Redux"(7)
"Haz Mat" (3)
"He Ate the Olive!"(7)
"He is deeply missed (2)"
"He Picks Up Poop?" (5)
"He Took De Bait" (8)
"He's 'Little Ricky'?"(7)
"Healthcare for Frodo"(5)
"Heart Soar Like Hawk"(5)
"Heck of an Engineer"(7)
"Hedge Fund Hippies" (3)
"Heeeerrre's Frodo" (3)
"Heeere's Johnny" (6)
"Heeerrrre's Frodo" (3)
"Hello, Mr. Wilson" (5)
"Hello? Central?" (3)
"Help Wanted"
"Helping Frodo" (4)
"Here Come da Judge" (2)
"Here Come da Judge" (6)
"Here Kitty-Kitty" (4)
"Here Kitty-kitty"(5)
"Here's Help, Now Leave"
"Here's Your Watch" (3)
"Hi Jinx" (5)
"Hide Anythin' Edible"(5)
"High Chair" (2)
"Hobbits And a Truck"(4)
"Hold On Romo" (2)
"Hold the Malaise" (4)
"Honey Dew List"(9)
"Hopalong Frodo"(9)
"Horn of Africa (2)"
"Horse Latitudes" (6)
"Horsehockey" (3)
"Hosea Can You See" (3)
"Hosea Can You See?" (3)
"Hot Tamale" (3)
"Hotel Plimhimmon"(9)
"HOV or DOA?" (3)
"How Dogs Love Us" (10)
"How Many Delegates?"
"How Many Delegates?" (3)
"How Now Broun Cow"(8)
"Hraka" (4)
"Huckleberry Hound" (3)
"Hund Scheisse CSI" (5)
"Hungarian Answer" (4)
"I Believe in Music (2)"
"I can hope, can't I?"(9)
"I Could Cry" (2)
"I Inspired You?"
"I say it's Spinach. . ."
"I'll Get Back to You"(3)
"I'll Huff and Puff" (4)
"I'll Take a Vowel"
"I'm Baaack" (2)
"I'mSo In LoveWithYou"(7)
"Ides of March Again" (4)
"Ides of Texas" (6)
"IED's in Congress" (2)
"If Frodo Ran The DHS"(5)
"If It Ain't OneThing"(5)
"If the truth be told"(6)
"If You Remember,Then"(6)
"If" (6)
"Imagine,General Newt"(6)
"Imitation of Life" (5)
"Immigration Reform (2)"
"In a Galaxy Far Away(2)"
"In a Pig's Eye" (4)
"In Dog We Trust" (10)
"In the Beginning"
"In the Beginning" (3)
"Incomparable Moron" (4)
"Indoor Toilets Rule" (4)
"Intersex Village" (2)
"Interstate Parking (2)"
"Ion Propulsion"(7)
"Iran's Tom Hayden"
"Irish Spring"(3)
"Is it in the Water?"
"Is That in America?" (2)
"Is You da One,Jimmy?"(3)
"Islamic Fundamentals"(8)
"Isn't Amnesty Good?"(3)
"Isn't Change Good?"(6)
"It's A Trap" (6)
"It's Just a Movie"
"It's Just Business"
"Ja, Wir Konnen."
"Jack Crabb" (10)
"Jambo Jumbo" (3)
"Japanese Movie?" (3)
"Je suis Frodo"(10)
"Jefferson Rock" (3)
"Jes' the facts Ma'am"(4)
"Jim Crow" (5)
"Joad Family Reunion?"(6)
"Joad Jobs" (4)
"Joe Soptic" (8)
"Jonestown Redux" (3)
"Jose and Claudia" (4)
"Joshua Generation" (3)
"Just Another Day" (3)
"Just Clearin' Brush"(3)
"Just Desserts (2)"
"Just Desserts" (7)
"Just Say 'Nyet'"(7)
"Just to CU Smile" (5)
"Kandy Kakes 2"
"Ken Meets Jack"
"Key Word Apology" (6)
"Killer's Geraldine" (4)
"Kilowatts Per Mile" (6)
"Kiribati Republic"(6)
"Kirk Saves Nemo"
"Kiss a Girl Goodbye"(2)
"Knew You Not Pompey?"(3)
"Kodak Moment" (2)
"Kool Sailboat" (4)
"Korea, Korea" (2)
"Kudlow's Kreeps"(4)
"Lady of Rohan" (3)
"Land Ho"(8)
"Lean and Hungry " (2)
"Leeward, I Say, Leeward"
"Legs Diamond" (3)
"Legs" (3)
"Leslie" (4)
"Lessons Learned" (2)
"Let Them Eat Cake"
"Let's Bake Cookies" (3)
"Let's Play A Game" (6)
"Letter Home" (6)
"Letter to Lou" (4)
"Liberal Lament" (40)
"Lief, Leaf, or Loaf"(8)
"Life In A Red State"
"Lights of Chicago"
"Like a Barack" (2)
"Limbaugh Hero"(7)
"Lime Bandits" (3)
"Lime is on my side" (6)
"Limestone Cowboys" (3)
"Lip Smackin' Good?"(6)
"Little Big Horn (2)"
"Little Houdini" (5)
"Little Sky"
"Littlest Angel" (2)
"Livin' is Easy?"(7)
"Loans and Deposits" (4)
"Lois, I Never Lie"(8)
"Lonely Avenue" (3)
"Lonesome Frodo" (3)
"Look away Dixieland"(6)
"Look for da Union Label"
"Look Who's Talkin'" (2)
"Lookin' Back, Texas" (3)
"Lost Weekend"(8)
"Low Water, Slow Flow"(3)
"Lox? Or Locks?" (7)
"Lunatic Cattle Call"(8)
"M-G-M Material"
"Ma Bell is Baaack" (3)
"Ma Bell Lives" (7)
"Macaca, Your Macaca" (2)
"Mad Dogs&Englishmen"(6)
"Made You Look" (6)
"Magic Fridge (2)"
"Magic Moments"(7)
"Make Jobs, Not War"(7)
"MaMa's Little Babies"(3)
"Man For All Seasons" (2)
"Man of the Century"
"Man Up, Harry"(6)
"Man's Best Friend?"
"Many happy returns"
"March Forth" (8)
"Marking Time" (3)
"Martyr Magic" (2)
"Marvelous Mac"(8)
"Mary Lee & Genie"(8)
"Master of None" (8)
"May Day, Comrade"(7)
"Maynard G. Krebs" (7)
"Medal of Honor" (6)
"Media is the Message(2)"
"Media Reporting" (6)
"Mental Healthcare" (4)
"Michelle, my Belle"(7)
"Mick's Day"(8)
"Mickey and Me"(6)
"MidSummer Nights Dream"(7)
"Mikileaks" (6)
"Missionary Position" (3)
"Missionary Position" (7)
"Mississipp' Sippin'"(2)
"Mister Roberts" (8)
"Moamar:The Movie"(7)
"Mohair Sam" (5)
"Mon Petit Shoe"(4)
"Monkeys in Mississippi"
"Moody Blue"(7)
"Moody" (7)
"Mooman" (3)
"Moon Over Miami"(4)
"Mooosic" (5)
"Moovin' On Up" (2)
"Mordor or Antarctica?"
"More Than Some" (4)
"Moultrie Poultry" (3)
"Mount Mulch" (2)
"Movin' On Up" (2)
"Mr. Toad's Motorcar (2)"
"Mumbai, My Lord" (4)
"Murtha For President(2)"
"N. Leroy" (7)
"Name That Tune"(4)
"Nascaroil" (4)
"Nat King Cole Sucks"(5)
"NCAA---Blech!" (7)
"Nein, nein, nein"(7)
"Never Doubt Bilbo"
"Never heard of him"
"New Life, Old Leaves"(4)
"Newest Friend"(8)
"Newman's Own" (4)
"Newt/Mitt '12" (3)
"Next Case" (6)
"Next Door Neighbors" (3)
"NFL Commissioner (2)"
"NFL Trade" (3)
"Nielsen Ratings" (2)
"Nine Months PG" (7)
"Nixon Agonistes" (3)
"No Faux News?" (3)
"No Googling Allowed"(4)
"No Humor Today"
"No Peanut Left Behind"
"No Sale" (3)
"No, Not Russian" (4)
"No-No, No" (3)
"Nobody Even Asked"(8)
"Noo Yawk Stateamind"(2)
"Not a Bang,a Whimper"(7)
"Not Funny, Dr Jones"(5)
"Not North Carolina" (6)
"Not Percy Sledge?" (3)
"Not Percy Sledge?"(3)
"Number One" (3)
"Number Please?"(7)
"Number, Please"(8)
"Numbers Don't Lie" (3)
"Numbers Racket" (4)
"Obama Doctrine" (5)
"Obama's Generals"(5)
"October Dreamin'" (4)
"Ode to an Athlete (2)"
"Ogal Preston Crews (2)"
"Oh Kenny Boy (2)"
"Oh the possibilities"(8)
"Oh Ye White Whale" (3)
"Oh, Sadaharu" (2)
"OK Baptist Chorale" (4)
"Old McDonnell's Farm"(7)
"Old Time Baseball"(9)
"Old Times Topic" (6)
"Olympic Changes" (4)
"On Her Code?" (4)
"On Vacation, I'm Sure"
"One Act Play"
"One Down, More Comin'"
"One For the Good Guys"
"One More Round" (4)
"One Orbit of the Sun"(2)
"Only 434 More to Go" (2)
"Opportunity Sox" (3)
"Or the Yellow Peril?"(6)
"Osama Can You See?" (2)
"Our God Is Better" (3)
"Our Town" (5)
"Our Town" (8)
"Out Damned Spot (2)"
"Out of Kilter" (5)
"Out of the Ashes" (4)
"Overdue Books" (3)
"Pace Car" (3)
"Painted Toenails?"(4)
"Panic Attack"(10)
"Pants on Fire"
"Parade of Horribles"(4)
"Part Two" (5)
"Pass the Malais" (4)
"Passion Flowers" (5)
"Past is Prologue" (3)
"Pat bin Laden"
"Patsy for America"
"Peaceful Easy Feelin"(3)
"Peacetakescourage" (3)
"Permanent Vacation" (5)
"Persons of the Year"
"Philadelphia Bunnyface?"
"Philosopher Kings" (4)
"Pickled Cabbage?"
"Picture of Frodo"(5)
"Pilot Wales" (2)
"Pirate Booty"
"Pit Bull Revenge"(4)
"Pius Baloney I" (7)
"Place of Good Abode" (3)
"Plaque 42W, Line 12"
"Play It Again, Sam"
"Play Melancholy Baby"
"Play the Frodo Game"(6)
"Playin' Possum" (3)
"Poland Parole Patrol"(5)
"Polish or Polish?"
"Poll Results Just In"
"Poly Sci 101"(9)
"Poor People"
"Pope for a Day" (10)
"Pope-a-Dope" (5)
"Popeil Veg-o-matic"
"Potty Training" (3)
"Power Surge"(9)
"Pray for, Gas?" (4)
"Pray With Me Henry" (2)
"Pre-emptive Passages"(2)
"Preemptive Invasion"
"Presidential Erection"
"Problem, Officer?" (3)
"Problem, Officer?" (5)
"Problems?" (4)
"Promises Made" (3)
"Promises To Keep" (5)
"Promises to Keep"(9)
"Proud I Am"
"Proud Walter" (5)
"Proxy Server Error" (4)
"Prudent" (10)
"Psychiatrist,5 cents"(6)
"Pugnacious Maverick"
"Pulitzer Means Squat"(8)
"Punxatawney Bush"
"Puppy Angel" (2)
"Purple Pill Please" (2)
"Putin Tang" (3)
"Qaddafi Wins, For Now"(7)
"Qualified? Yeah Right!"
"Quayle Hunting"
"Queen of Memphis"
"Queen of the Damned"
"Quittin' Time" (8)
"Quoth the Raven"(7)
"QVC and Dorothy"
"Qwest For Truth (2)"
"Radio and TV"(7)
"Rain, Rain, Go Away?"(4)
"Rainy Day in Georgia(2)"
"Raptor Rapture" (7)
"Read All About It" (5)
"Real Men Don't Shop"(4)
"Rechargin' da Shire"(11)
"Recycled Air (Gasp)" (2)
"Red Sky at Morning" (3)
"Red Sky at Morning"(5)
"Reduced Flow Flush"(5)
"Reimers' Rhymers"(5)
"Remember These?"
"Remembering Jessica" (2)
"Remote Outpost" (7)
"Render Unto Wright" (4)
"Reverend LeRoy" (3)
"Rice on Hot Tin Roof(2)"
"Rick Santa Anna"(5)
"Right Not Privilege" (4)
"Road to Damascus"
"Road Trip" (5)
"Roads Scholar" (8)
"Rocket Man"
"Rocket Man" (5)
"Rockets Red Glare" (5)
"Rocks Rox"(8)
"Roger the Dodger"(4)
"Roger Williams Sucks"(2)
"Rooty-Toot" (6)
"Rose Garden Promises"(4)
"Royal Portrait" (2)
"Rubber Ducky" (2)
"Rubio's Cube"(6)
"Rules" (6)
"Rules" (7)
"Rumblin' Bumblin'" (3)
"Rumsfeldstiltskin" (2)
"Run Eddie, Run" (5)
"Run Far, Run Fast"(7)
"Run Forrest, Run"
"Run, old hare!"
"Runaround Tsu"
"Runs in the Family" (3)
"Rwanda Go Home?"(6)
"S'long Sarong (2)"
"Sabato Knows" (2)
"Sam Shopping" (2)
"San Juan de Capistrano"
"Sandy Hook" (8)
"Santos v. Vinnick"
"Satire-Apology to Mick"
"Sauron Psalms" (2)
"Sauron's Scythe" (4)
"Savin' Gas" (4)
"SAWB" (3)
"Say Cheese"(7)
"Say It Ain't So,Jo"(4)
"Say It Ain't So,Joe" (2)
"School Holiday" (4)
"Science Marches On"
"Scooter" (2)
"Scott Free" (4)
"Sears and Loveaduck" (5)
"Second Line (2)"
"Second of Two" (4)
"Seems Like Yesterday"(4)
"Seems Like Yesterday"(9)
"Seen Any Blue Swans?"(3)
"Selective Service"(8)
"September Twelfth"(5)
"Serendipity Strikes" (3)
"Serge is Working?" (3)
"Serious,For A Change"(6)
"Seven Samurai" (5)
"Sex or Gender?"
"Sexiest Man Alive"(5)
"Shaken, not stirred"(10)
"She is No Ma Kettle"
"Sheep and Museums"
"Sheep in Mindanao?"
"Shenandoah Rangers"(7)
"Shenandoah" (6)
"Shire Sunset"
"Shock and Awe" (4)
"Shoot 'em, Vern"
"Side by Side" (7)
"Sidin' With Anemone"(4)
"Silence of the Lambs"(2)
"Silent, but deadly"(6)
"Sing It Again" (4)
"Sink or Swim"
"Sir A Gut" (3)
"Six Days on the Road"
"Skull and Bones"(4)
"Skunk Cabbage" (3)
"Sleepy Time (2)"
"Slippin' and a Slidin'"
"Sludge Stimulus" (5)
"Small Businesses-Ha!"(6)
"Small Gray Planet"(2)
"Small Victories"
"Smellin' Roses"
"Smirk Jerk" (2)
"Smokin' Pesticide Dope"
"Smoochy Time" (4)
"Snazis" (2)
"Snow Tan"(11)
"Snowiches" (6)
"So Who's Sluggo?" (2)
"Social Security Reform"
"Social Security" (7)
"Socrates and Friends"(5)
"Soldier of the King"
"Soldier of the Storm(2)"
"Solitary Isolation" (3)
"Solving a Problem"(9)
"Somethin' Borrowed"(5)
"Something in Commons"(5)
"Sometimes Life Sucks"(4)
"Sorcerer's Apprentice"
"Soul Train" (5)
"Souter Rules, Dude"
"Southern Ladies" (5)
"Sow's Ear from Silk"(5)
"Space Poop" (3)
"Speechifyin'" (4)
"Speedy Gonzales" (3)
"Spelling, -23" (6)
"Sperm Count" (3)
"Spiro T. Palin" (4)
"Spoonerized" (6)
"Spring Equal Knox" (3)
"St. George" (4)
"Stan & Ollie"(7)
"State Dinner" (3)
"States' Rahts" (3)
"Sticker Shock"
"Stolen Bases" (3)
"Stragedy" (2)
"Stragedy" (8)
"Strangerthan fiction"(6)
"Strip Searched" (9)
"Stupidly" (5)
"Stupor Bowl Sunday"(2)
"Subsidizing Seeds"(6)
"Sunday, Sunday"(9)
"Sunni Daze" (4)
"Supportin' da Troops"(2)
"Supportin' da Troops"(3)
"Survey Says" (6)
"Sweet Georgia Brown"
"Swiss Miss" (5)
"Take a letter, dearie"
"Take It Off Baby" (5)
"Takes a Worried Man"(4)
"Talibanme Banana"(8)
"Talkin' Turkey" (3)
"Tax Driver" (9)
"Taxpayer Assistance (2)"
"Tea Olive" (7)
"Tear Down That Wall"(4)
"Teflon Causes Cancer"
"Ten Cent Coke" (3)
"Tennessee Stinks" (6)
"Term Paper" (5)
"Terminal? Great!"
"Terre Bonne" (6)
"Terrible Swift Sword"(6)
"Terrible Two's" (2)
"Tess of D'Uberville"(8)
"Tess of the Dorghis" (8)
"Texas Exes" (8)
"Thank the Academy"(4)
"Thank You Rand Paul"
"Thank You, Molly" (2)
"Thanks, Dad" (3)
"Thar She Blows"
"That Looks Like Me"(5)
"That's the way it is"(5)
"Thawt Yuze a Toad"(7)
"The 60 Year Struggle"(5)
"The Atlanta Eye" (6)
"The Blue Dog"(11)
"The Boston Massacre"(9)
"The Boys of '63" (8)
"The Brotherhood Begins"
"The Eyes of Texas"
"The Forum" (2)
"The Future is Now (2)"
"The Garden of Good"
"The Good Book" (4)
"The Good Doctor"(6)
"The Great Quixote" (9)
"The Grumpy Dwarf"(9)
"The Important Stuff"
"The Italian Stallion"
"The Litany" (6)
"The Longest Day" (5)
"The Non-Issue" (3)
"The Perfect Storm" (2)
"The Pre-Fellowship"(4)
"The Prophecy"
"The Real Rhett" (4)
"The Second Amendment"
"The Silver Sow Award"(3)
"The Splurge" (4)
"The Turtle" (3)
"The Union Label"(6)
"There is a Virginia" (2)
"They're He-ear" (4)
"Thin Ice, Frodo" (4)
"Third Strike Nuance (2)"
"This Day in History"(3)
"This, Too, Shall Pass"
"Three A.M." (4)
"Three Siblings" (4)
"Three Votes Short" (3)
"Thriller" (9)
"Thunder Road"
"Thy Name be Peace" (2)
"Tie a Yellow Ribbon" (3)
"Tiger By The Tail" (5)
"Time to Cut Brush" (3)
"Time With Friends" (3)
"Times A' Wastin'" (3)
"Title IX Disaster" (5)
"To Arms, To Arms"
"To the Hoop (2)"
"Together Again" (3)
"Tokyo Rush" (5)
"Tom Bombadil isDying"(7)
"Tom Bombadil Returns"(9)
"Tom" (4)
"Top Two Percent" (7)
"Tora Bora Lora. . ." (2)
"Torah, Torah..."(6)
"Toro, Andalay,Toro (2)"
"Touchdown Swabbie" (3)
"Tovarich" (4)
"Tra La,Spring,Tra La"(6)
"Train Wreck"(8)
"Transparency" (4)
"Travel Sucks" (4)
"Tree Fishin' (2)"
"Trees v. Forest"(9)
"Trekking Mount Doom" (2)
"Tripod Hackers?"(9)
"Trouble Sleepin'" (3)
"Truckin' for Isaiah" (3)
"Truly,Totally, Nuts"(3)
"Tuesdays with Nancy"(4)
"Tullahoma Tequila (2)"
"Tumbler" (3)
"Turkey Day Walkabout"(2)
"TW3" (3)
"Tweety Pie" (2)
"Twenty to Life" (5)
"Twismas Tunes" (5)
"Twisted Sister" (4)
"Two Americas" (4)
"Two Americas" (9)
"Two Steps Back" (4)
"Two Thousand, Ate" (4)
"Unademdaze" (4)
"Unborn in the USA" (6)
"Unbroken Circle" (7)
"Unconditional Surrender"
"Unconventional, you say?"(7)
"Underdog Shmunderdog"(4)
"Unmarked Grave" (6)
"Untimely Events"
"UR Number Is Up" (7)
"Vacation Brouhaha" (3)
"Vacation Comin'" (2)
"Vandals at the Gates"(2)
"Vat of Chocolate"(6)
"Vero Possumus" (4)
"Veto Shmetoe (2)"
"Vick Drops, Cough!" (3)
"Video Thriller"(5)
"Vinson Can Gogh"(6)
"Virgin Birth" (2)
"Virginia is 4 Lovers"(4)
"Virginia Lovers" (4)
"Vom Winde Verweht" (2)
"Vote for Steve" (2)
"Vote Frodo (Not)"(7)
"W is for Wuss""
"Wait 'til Next Year" (2)
"Wait 'Til Next Year"(2)A
"Walkin' in the Woods"(5)
"Walkin' the Dogs"(8)
"Walkin' the Walk"
"Wall of Libertad"
"War on Middle Class"(2)
"War on Tara"
"Warm Bucket of Spit"(4)
"Was Miers His Attorney?"
"Watch Mr. Wizard" (3)
"Water Into Wine" (11)
"Water into Wine?"
"Watts da plan, Man?"(5)
"Wayne Johnson"(4)
"We Make a Better Day"(5)
"We Sank a Truck"
"We Will Rock You"
"Weather Channel Follies"
"Weddin' Down South" (3)
"Wedding Bell Blues"
"Weeds Way Is Up?"(5)
"Weepy Seepy Peepee"(3)
"Welcome Home, Soldier"
"Well, Duh!"
"Well, Poop"(8)
"West Wing Redux" (2)
"What Goes Around" (6)
"What if JR Shot Back"(9)
"What is a Shimkus?" (2)
"What Mark Felt"
"What Schedule?" (2)
"What Time Is It (2)"
"What We Have Here (2)"
"What Would Mitt Do?"(3)
"What's A Cubit?"
"What's a Sgarbi?" (5)
"What, Me Worry?"
"What, Me Worry?" (3)
"Where Sun Doan Shine"(8)
"Where's Frodo?" (5)
"Where's my puppy?"(4)
"Where's the Beef?"
"Where's the Fire?"(5)
"Whither Frodo?"
"Whitman's Sampler"(6)
"Who Dat Say Who Dat?"
"Who dat?" (2)
"Who did it?" (2)
"Who Torted?"
"Who Was That Guy?" (5)
"Who's In Line?"(6)
"Who's We, White Boy?"(3)
"Why are you here"?(3)
"Why are you here?" (3)
"Why Black Folks Cheered"
"Wiccan I do for you?"(2)
"Wicked Pickett"
"Wide Stance" (4)
"Will better be?"(7)
"Willard" (7)
"Willie B had heart" (5)
"Winchester Women (2)"
"Wink at the Moon"
"Winter Solstice"
"Wishin' and Hopin'"
"Wither Channels" (5)
"Wither Weather"(9)
"Wither Weather?"(4)
"WMD in the Shire"(6)
"Words To Live By"(7)
"Workin' on Night Moves"
"Worst Candidate Ever"(8)
"Worth Waiting For?"(5)
"Write a Letter" (7)
"Writer's Block" (2)
"Wrong Again, Frodo"(3)
"Wyomin' Gloamin'" (2)
"Xmas in Shreveport"(6)
"Yahoo" (4)
"Yankee Humor" (5)
"Yankee Ingenuity"
"Yella Rose a Taxes"(4)
"Yellow Peril" (3)
"Yes, No, Who Knows?" (2)
"You Betcha" (6)
"You Put Your Eye Out"(2)
"You Snake in the Grass"
"You Take the High Road"
"Zimmerman Noted"(6)
"Zinni in Bloom (2)"
"Zounds, Sounds!" (5)
"Zounds, you varlet"(4)
Southern Pine Beetles"(4)
The H Word" (6)
Citizens of Middle Earth
The Fellowship of the Ring
The Return of the King
Frodo, Keeper of the Ring
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
It's Hard To Leave When You Can't Find The Door
Mood:  chatty
Topic: "Opportunity Sox" (3)

Have you ever considered, dear reader, the growth of opportunity?  Imagine, if you will, America at the mid-point of the last century, when all the lights were on again, and all the boys had come home from the War.  The boys all went to get a job, working for somebody else, to manufacture airplanes, build houses, or whatever.  The concern was life, stability, and building a world that would be better for the next generation.  My, my, oh my, how times have changed in the Shire.

Today there is an exponential growth in services, provided for the most part by aspiring entrepreneurs.  When Frodo and Sam depart by motorcar for Lake Lovey, Miss Ellyn visits their home daily in the Shire to tend to the needs of Beau Neau and Sydney, neither of whom travel well.  When the Hobbits depart for air travel, then Georgia, Fiona, and Mick, the Wonder Dog, go to visit Miss Trish at Camp Kennel (where they partake of "bug juice," salute the flag, and learn camp songs).   Miss Charlotte tends to Frodo's mail and business correspondence during all of these absences.  Each has formed their own enterprise which allows them a whole new set of rules for life.

Frodo brings this up because he has been confronted by another such enterprise, and is agog at the ingenuity and the results.  Sam determined that the closets in the Shire were "a mess," and that something had to be done.  Frodo recognized the problem, but was not intimidated, suggesting that they merely throw away all the stuff that was Sam's, thereby reducing the spatial requirements.  Sam did not see that as a practical remedy (see Lorena Bobbit in the preceeding discussion).  Sam did, however, somehow, find an entrepreneur to "re-design" closet space.  Frodo's query if the guy got his start in kitchens, or basements, or garages, was met by the steeley glare of someone who considered himself a true closet professional.  Frodo hesitated in making any comment about a person beginning in closets, and coming out.

Frodo is, quite frankly, amazed at the results.  There seems to be a logical place for everything, and the available space appears to be significantly increased.  Frodo notes that this is one more service, such as those identified above, that never existed a mere half-century ago.  Entrepreneurs, of all kinds, have found opportunity in service to the changes in consumer lifestyle.  It is almost enough to make the Hobbit proud of the ingenuity of the post-War generation.

Then he noticed that his tee shirt, autographed by Dale Murphy, was missing.  His collection of broken fishing lures is not where it is supposed to be, and his complete set of 8th Grade English compositions is apparently lost to history.  Surely Gollum has had a hand in this outrage.  

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:39 PM EDT
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Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Take Another Little Piece Of My Heart Now Baby
Mood:  cheeky
Topic: "Bob, Bob, Bobbit" (3)

Lorena Bobbit and David Vitter, need Frodo say anymore?

The first Republican United States Senator in the State of Louisiana since Reconstruction may become the last Republican United States Senator of Louisiana, ever.  David Vitter, a Roman Catholic, who has campaigned on behalf of "traditional family values," and who identified "gay marriage" as the single biggest problem confronting America today (considering that the aftermath of Katrina and the Pre-Emptive War remain omnipresent), today came forth publicly with the information that his telephone number appears in the records of the "DC Madam."  This occurred only a few hours after a legal representative of "Hustler" Magazine publisher Larry Flynt contacted Vitter's office.  A few hours later, the "Canal Street Madam" issued a release to the press that David Vitter's presence in her establishment is also available for public scrutiny.

Vitter, elected from his Congressional seat into a Senate seat in 2004, told his audience that he had made his indiscretions ("sin," as he called them) known to his wife beforehand.  This being the same lady, mother to four children carrying the Vitter name, who stated in 2000 that she would conduct action similar to that of Lorena Bobbit should she become aware of this kind of behavior by her husband.

All of this occurred on the same day that the Chinese government announced that it had executed the government official, equivalent to the Head of the Food & Drug Administration in this country, responsible for tainted product brought into the market illegally.  Frodo is no fan of capital punishment, but the public display of punishment is of interest, and is certainly not inconsistent with criminal punishment in American History.  Frodo has been bothered that these days all we do is either throw a miscreant in jail, or we kill him.  There is no middle ground, as there was in colonial times, when stocks and other methods of public disgrace were utilized.  It could also be added that if the criminal happened to be a member of the Bush Administration, then punishment is anathema.

Frodo would like to suggest that perhaps Senator Vitter might offer himself up for the threatened response by the wronged spouse, and that the punishment take place publicly.  Frodo describes the probable setting as Jackson Square in the City of Orleans, perhaps utilizing the same lights and stage used by the Incomparable Moron when he promised re-building after Katrina.  Would it not be fitting that a dickless politician's podium be used to confirm another?


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:04 PM EDT
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Sunday, July 8, 2007
Dead Skunk In The Middle of The Road
Mood:  vegas lucky
Topic: "Hedge Fund Hippies" (3)

Frodo is a teller of tales and a great fan of the seemingly trivial.  The trivial often reflect upon the times, and are determining variables in the behavior of those who tell the tales.  Frodo can name the sponsors of "The Howdy Doody Show," simply because he watched every one of the commercials for "Tootsie Roll Pops" and "Wonder Bread" whenever Mr. Bluster and Princess Summerfallwinterspring appeared on his black-and-white.  One of the marketing mavens of the day, previously referenced by Frodo, was Mr. Ron Popeil.  Dear reader, remember him as the creative entrepreneur behind the "Veg-O-Matic" and the "Pocket Fisherman?"  Well, it seems that Ron is back in the news, and his return illuminates the shadowy world of high finance aand privileged investment.

Ron Popeil started his business in 1958, often appearing in late night TV advertisements himself.  He sold his company, Ronco, for $56 Million in 2005 to a group of private investors ("private equity" as it is known) headed by a Mr. Richard Allen, who was advised on the purchase by the TEXAS-based investment bank SMH (which was probably Mr. Allen's first mistake, giving credence to a bunch of formerly drunken "Hook 'em Horns" frat boys from the worst state university not a member of the Southeastern Conference).  In court papers Allen alleged that the investment bankers had neglected to advise him that Ronco only had $250,000 in cash at the time of the sale (free advice from Frodo to Mr. Allen, did you ever consider asking?).  Allen further alleged that the investment bank then named one of its' own partners, John Reiland, as CEO of Ronco, in order to "cover up" their lack of due diligence in recommending the sale.  Allen, it should be noted, had been CEO when the sale was completed, but the rest of the investors got together and canned him, thus naming Reiland to the post.  

Ronco filed for Chapter XI bankruptcy last month.  Another private equity firm, Marlin Equity Partners, has agreed to acquire the assets of Ronco at auction for $10 Million.  Roughly speaking, this means that Allen and his former friends lost almost $50 Million because they bought a company that was unable to either dice vegetables or catch fish.

Frodo notes a certain similarity to a group of greedy TEXANS who felt they would be greeted like heroes, and whose expenses would be covered by the sale of the oil that was liberated from prior management.  The losses in this case however, are in the billions of dollars, and in thousands of lives.

Why would anyone take advice from a TEXAN?

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 11:20 AM EDT
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Wednesday, July 4, 2007
Will I See You Tonight, On A Westbound Train?
Mood:  chatty
Topic: "Ferengi or Ferangi?" (3)

Frodo has read nearly all of the collected writings of James Michener.  Geology, history, romance, mystery, adventure, intrigue, all in some of the most remote locales on planet Earth, and beyond ("Space" took the reader into the cellestial.  The exception being "Texas," which Frodo never finished, reflecting the fact that no one is capable of a home run every time at bat.  Frodo has just finished what will long prove to be the most provocative of his books, "Caravans."  He found that his interest in this particular book is not unshared.

"Caravans" is set in Afghanistan in 1946.  In brief, the story centers about a 20-something from the US State Department who is dispatched to locate a young debutante from the Main Line of Philadelphia and Bryn Mawr who has "run away" with an Afghani Engineering student to this unknown land.  Given the sequence of historical events since 1946, and the importance of Afghanistan in today's world, Frodo was excited by a Micheneresque preview of modern-day political happenings.  Michener wrote the book 17 years after the setting of the book, and he spent considerable effort translating the world as it existed at that time.  Michener died 10 years ago, and felt, even then, that he would like to again return to this the place he felt to be the most interesting destination on our small blue planet.

Michener blew it.  In 1963 Michener felt that there would be a continuing struggle for Afghanistan between the United States and the Soviet Union.  By his death in 1997. he obviously was aware that his less-than prescient model of the modern world had a few holes.  What that meant was that the emerging technology and development he foresaw has not happened.  The "mullahs" whom he saw as anachronistic and a weakening force in the new Afghanistan emerged far stronger than the internationally-educated engineers and leaders.

What Michener did right however, was to paint a picture of the diverse peoples of the region.  Uzbeks, Sunnis, Kochis, and Tajiks and the role of their women, wearing the chaderi, and how they interacted with the FERENGI.  "Star Trek" fans will note the derivation of the alien populace characterized for their chicanery in business dealings with the Federation.  The word "ferengi" is Afghan for "alien."  The US State Department protagonist was a "ferengi."  Had he stayed on course with the importance of religion, and its time-honored habits, he would have been less optimistic about the impending future progress in the region.  He made the error of postulating his beliefs about Afghanistan to the entire Middle East.  Frodo thinks Michener would be very, very disappointed at the turn of events brought on by others who also miscalculated. 

Frodo, as he does often, purchased the paperback at his favorite "used bookstore."  At least two others, according to handwritten notes in the margins, read the same book for similar reasons.  Curious it is that people have reached out to sources they have trusted to discover truth and understanding.  Perhaps it says something very poignant about how very little confidence exists in those charged with such responsibility by governments?  Governments come and go, but the caravans will continue their trek through history.   Now, at least, we know who the Ferengi truly are.    

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:22 PM EDT
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Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Oh What A Feelin', Dancin' On The Ceilin'
Mood:  suave
Topic: "Haz Mat" (3)

Morgan County's Hazardous Materials Unit is, ever since 9-11, routinely dispatched whenever any truck, train, or airplane cargo carrier crashes within the boundaries of this Tennessee political subdivision.  The logical assumption is that the materials were merely passing through and that the cargo could be almost anything.  Such was the case early this morning when the first reponders arrived at the scene.

Two train locomotives, both pulling six cars on behalf of Norfolk & Southern, derailed in a very rural area of a rural county.  One car turned over completely and four others jumped off the rails and began spilling their contents.  It was learned later that all of the cars were the property of a single vendor and that all were bound for the same destination in Atlanta.  Following is a simulated conversation between the Hazardous Material Unit dispatcher and the first of the First Responders on the scene.

"Come in Lobo, this is Big Mama."

"Lobo here, we are on scene Lucille."

"Which is where, Horton?"

"We're on the south slope of Buzzard Mountain, right where the tracks turn around to clear Waterfall Falls.  One car has turned over and is spilling its contents and a mass of bubbles are just a splashin' downhill.  Several other cars have jumped the rails and at least one of them has foam spillin' out of the top."

"Any idea what it is?"

"Not yet, we're in our haz mat suits, and are goin' to get the crews away from the scene so we can see what they know."

"Y'all be careful now, y'hear?"

"Big Mama, did y'all call Reverend Moon and dispatch him to the scene?"

"No Lobo, but you know how them guys sometimes monitor emergency channels just so they be there to be interviewed once the TV crews get there."

"Well, he's generally makin' a nuisance of himself.  He's gatherin' the crews together to thank Jesus for savin' them, before we've had a chance to even talk to anybody."

Some time passes.

"Big Mama, this here's Lobo."

"Have you secured the scene, and determined the source of the spill?"

"We have Big Mama.  I'm afraid there's not much of a threat in this spill, but I'm even more afraid we're gonna be here a long, long time." 

"Explain Horton."

"Well Lucille, it seems each of these here cars is full a beer, and all that's spilled out has been some of Milwaukee's finest. "

"Well, what's the hold-up on the clean-up?"

"It's that damn preacher."

"Reverend Mooney?  What'd he do?"

"First off, once he learned it was beer flowin' downhill like chocolate on the Big Rock Candy Mountain, he started a prayer meetin; to condemn the devil's brew.  Then he started helpin' the crew clean it up."

"So what's the reason you think it'll take a long time yet?"

"Lucille, they're only on the 74th bottle of beer, takin' one down and passin' it around."

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:32 PM EDT
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Friday, June 29, 2007
Try, Try, Try to Understand
Mood:  sharp
Topic: "SAWB" (3)

Mr. Eugene Robinson wrote an Op-Ed in today's WASHINGTON POST which he entitled "Standing in the School House Door."  For those, dear reader, old enough to remember, Governor George Wallace of Alabama stood in the doorway and faced Attorney General Nicholas deKatzenbach (what a wonderful time it was, to have an Attorney General of whom one could be proud), attempting to block the entrance of Negroes into the University of Alabama.  Brothers Robert and Jack Kennedy did not have cell phones, so their communication amidst the presence of National Guard troops, and people of assorted opinions was critical and it was profound.  From that moment forward, it was clear that the Federal Government was going to assert its obligation to all its citizens, as so interpreted by the judiciary.  Mr. Robinson's concise commentary reflected upon the fact that what happens now will be despite the presence of the judiciary, rather than as a result.

Andrew Young, once the Mayor of Atlanta, once the US Ambassador to the United Nations, an ordained minister still, amongst many other positions of impact and honor, is a Democrat.  Almost an eternity ago, when Walter Mondale ran, unsuccessfully, for the Presidency, Mr. Young , not atypically, voiced his frustration at the ill-fated Mondale campaign, and referred to the hapless group as "smart-ass white boys."  Unsurprisingly, developed there overnight many a tee shirt and coffee cup with the acronym "SAWB" thereupon.

Frodo's point in recall of these two historical events commingled with the current spate of judicial guidance is to illustrate how little we either know or comprehend about the gains in human rights in our own country in just the past generation.  With sheer audacity of purpose, it is therefore uncommon to hear any SAWB speak favorably of "affirmative action," or "racial balance."  The term is "reverse discrimination," and it is reflected in the words of Chief Justice Roberts in his majority opinion which eliminates "race" as the factor used to establish student population diversity.  Frodo may, indeed, be both a Hobbit and a SAWB, but he believes very strongly that racial prejudice is quite prevalent, and it is much more pervasive than most will admit.

George W. Bush, to even his staunchest supporter, is recognized as a much lesser mind than most.  His inability to communicate, as well as his lack of knowledge on basic issues is obvious.  George W. Bush, a borderline student at best, attended two of the most prestigious universities in all of Middle Earth.  He won admission not because of his grades, or his test scores, or his good works; rather, he won admission as a "legacy."  His family fortune, their contributions to both Harvard and Yale, and the attendance of his familial ancestors gave him favored status.  George W. Bush took positions which might have otherwise been won by a woman, a "Negro," or even a "Latino."  In that sense, George W. Bush "stood in the schoolhouse door," and he thereby helped maintain the white, male dominance of power in society.

Although no one calls it admission by race, that is what it is, de facto.  Chief Justice Roberts probably knows that.  His awareness thereof is what either makes him a fool, or a liar.  Perhaps both.     

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:45 PM EDT
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Thursday, June 28, 2007
The Woman Is Incredible
Mood:  crushed out
Topic: "Come on Down" (3)

Tammy Duckworth, Hillary Clinton, Ann Coulter, Paris Hilton, Laura Bush, Elizabeth Edwards, Liz Claiborne, Christie Todd Whitman, are all American women to prove newsworthy over the past several days.  Frodo is not surprised by the attention given to women under the microscope of notoriety, rather he is surprised only at the absence of one of the more obvious attention-getters.  How quickly, it seems, the mighty fall.

The Secretary of State, formerly the National Security Advisor, apparently was the heir-apparent to the current Occupant at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, at least in the mind of those planning for the royal succession.  Having already assured themselves of the righteous and the white male in their covey, they saw this as the cusp from which they could grab the mothers and the brothers, thereby cementing their hold on the reins of government for generations to come.  Something apparently happened however, on the pathway to the Lincoln Bedroom, for none of the ten announced candidates for the Republican nomination have even mentioned her name during the first two televised debates.  In addition, the Grand Ole Party has opened its doors to every aging movie star or prison inductee in the public eye in order to find some one, any one, capable of making a decent showing when next an election is held.

Colin Powell's successor seemingly stepped into an opportunity from whence she could do no wrong.  What has transpired is that she actually did nothing, and that may have impacted her decision-making about the future.  Madame Secretary has been oft-quoted that her "dream job" was to become Commisssioner of the National Football League.  That opportunity evidently was bypassed when she decided to assist her "husb" in the attainment of the New World Order as directed by the Neo-Cons and the Never-Coulds.  Frodo believes that she has her eyes on another position, far more desirable that that of the Presidency, and has been purposely avoiding the spotlight so that everyone does, indeed, forget about her.

Condi wants to be the next Bob Barker.

There is much to recommend and to document her for the position of Hostess for "The Price is Right."  Initially, she has the uncanny ability to simultaneously smile and to spout gibberish.  She can dress the part, simply because she owns more shoes than anyone not named Imelda Marcos.  She additionally has the capacity to apply her foreign affairs expertise to actually pricing the prizes which are now manufactured outside the United States, predominantly the result of her participation.  Finally, she certainly has a strong grasp of the entire concept of "selling out."

Frodo also fears what might happen should Madame Secretary fail in her quest for this position.  Job-hunting certainly is made a great deal easier if there are simply some accomplishments for the resume'.  Even the positon of "Greeter" at Wal-Mart requires that the incumbent actually have done something over the past eight years. 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:06 AM EDT
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Monday, June 25, 2007
Everybody Has To Meet His Waterloo
Mood:  down
Topic: "Genarlow de Chariot" (3)

"Statutory Rape" is a term which one doesn't hear much anymore, it seems to have been supplanted either by alternative terminology or by the complete absence of sexual exploration by teen-agers.  There was a time in recent history when the words "15 will get you 20" were crystal clear in their reference.  How times have changed.

Genarlow Wilson, a talented young black athlete, with the verbal skills of a mushroom, was having a good time at the party.  Things got even better when the young female slipped her lips around his Johnson, and proceeded to do her best imitation of Monica Lewinsky.  Wilson's friends thought this such an amusing turn of events that they turned their videocamera toward the participants in order to mark the historic event for future audiences, perhaps on "You Tube."  The fact that the suckee was 15 years old did not seem to register with anyone.  Added on to that fact in subsequent testimony, the "consensual" act by an underage female seemed to make everything all kosher.  Genarlow got his rocks off, his friends got their movie, and soon the Mounties would get their man.

Genarlow Wilson was charged and sentenced to 10 years.  During the course of the trial, to complicate matters just a smidgen, the law was changed, and the felony which was, wasn't.  Fat lot of good that would do Wilson, and all those pending grants-in-aid to football-crazy institutions which necessarily went the way of the Great Auk.  That is until it became the "social injustice du jour." 

To make a long story very short, the Attorney General of the State of Georgia (which, these days, is sort of like the state of uncertainty) appealed a judges' order to free Wilson on appeal.  This coming after the youngster has now spent four years in the cooler.  The Attorney General, Thurbert Baker, argued that such a ruling could adversely impact the conviction of everyone with the same charge as Wilson, i.e. aggravated child molestation, and that the requirement for registration as a "sexual offender," might be procedurally challenged by all.  The uproar for justice to deal with the circumstances of one young man, versus the laws which govern all, crystallized when the publicity hounds came baying at the jailhouse door.

One "civil rights activist" called a press conference after discussing the strategic nature of the case with the Prosecutor.  This, an individual unknown to the defendant or his family, who had never had any contact with the defendant, his attorney, or anyone even remotely affiliated, was presenting himself as "deus ex machina" in behalf of Genarlow Wilson.  At the same time, the mother of the suckee appears on local TV and proclaims that the sexual act was "consensual," and that she saw no need for Wilson to suffer further for such an act.  Noted by Frodo is the fact that by going public in this manner the mother had "de facto" identified her daughter as a parrticipant in such an act to the entire viewing public, including everyone ever identified as a "sexual offender."  Not to be outdone of course, was the implication, nationally, that this was but one more example of "white man's justice" in the South applied to the poor and downtrodden. 

The Attorney General of Georgia, the aforementioned Thurbert Baker, is black.  Baker has argued that proper action by the Governor, the questionably honorable Sonny Perdue, to pardon Genarlow Wilson and to thereby remove the "sexual offender registration" requirement would quell the potential legal problems inherent in simply letting Wilson go because one judge said it was OK.  In the meantime, the forces of emotion over civilization demand Baker's head, that Wilson be freed, and all the past be forgotten.        

Frodo thinks the girl's mother is a fool.  He thinks the "civil rights activist" should be banned by the State of Georgia, and delivered to his new residence in Crawford, Texas.  He thinks that Governor Sonny Perdue should resign in order to run for Vice President alongside Sam Brownback.  He also hopes that Genarlow Wilson comes out of jail as something more than a made-for-TV soap opera icon.  Frodo hopes it happens soon, and that it is proper under the law.

Frodo also thinks that if John F. Kennedy were today publishing a new edition of "Profiles in Courage," that Thurbert Baker, Attorney General of the State of Georgia, should be included.  

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:09 PM EDT
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Sunday, June 24, 2007
Down by the Riverside
Mood:  celebratory
Topic: "Blood and Swash" (3)

Legolas and Frodo traveled together to the Broad River Gelbvieh Farm to reunite with Boromir.  It had been many years since last the ancient warriors had stood together.  It was the first time since the passing of Boromir's Galadriel.

Upon the crest of the hill the flag held firmly to its position at half-staff.  No formal declaration was necessary, nor even common for one who served by waiting, an oversight in the system, for sure.  Wisps of clouds, like the tresses of a maiden, flowed gently behind as the backdrop to this quiet memorial for the Hostess of Broad River.

Boromir led from that spot down to the hay barn where they watched the newly-weaned bellow back-and-forth as their mothers wandered up-and-down along the dividing fence.  Following other cattle through the next pasture, the triumvirate stopped by the pond serving its refrigerant to the denizens who waded through its surface to relieve the heat of mid-day.  They stood under the oaks and the hickorys, and they talked of battles long ago fought while in service to the King.  Not much was said about opponents felled, rather it was of scars showing, inside and out, and of those with whom they had served about which much is today unknown.

Gathered they then for a cooling repast, and then to share in the bounty of that land in feast.  Words were spake about the Lady Galadriel and days to come that require not planning, nor lamentation, but a new level of normalcy.  As a tear fell, it was met by the wise and respectful silence of warriors with open ears, and hearts.

Commemorative pictures were ascribed to share with members of the Fellowship in absentia that day.  Hands were clasped, chests together, as only old warriors know how.  Promises were made as directions three led them away from their gathering.  The clouds had drawn back from the hillside and the flag waved to each traveler, in his own mind.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 7:57 PM EDT
Updated: Sunday, June 24, 2007 7:59 PM EDT
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Wednesday, June 20, 2007
It Goes On, And On, And On, And On
Mood:  chillin'
Topic: "Evil Thoughts" (3)

The Surgeon General of the United States stood at the foot of the bed, arms crossed, while Dr. Frodo conducted his examination.  Gently, he massaged the index and middle fingers on both hands of the patient, then worked his way up each arm slowly feeling for muscular development all along the way.  The young girl's twin sat next to the bed across from the spot where Dr. Frodo leaned across her sister's torso.  Their mother kept her hand on the bed, for support.

"Tell me if you feel it when I pinch your arm," queried Dr. Frodo to the young patient to whom he had been introduced by the Surgeon General.  "Do you feel anything now?"

"Just a little pressure."

"How about now?"

"No, not really."

Moving his hands back down to her wrist, he asked again.  "No," she said, "just a little wetness."

Going all the way up to the triceps, Dr. Frodo pinched again and the patient jumped.  "Ouch, I sure felt that."

"Good, thank you Ms. Bush.  It was very nice meeting you."

"Well, I'm not sure I can say the same, given the circumstances."

Frodo smiled, and said, "I understand.  Now if you'll excuse me, I'd like to talk with the Surgeon General for a few minutes, and then a little talk with your Mom.  I'll be back to talk with you when we get some of the tests back later today."

"Do you have any idea what's wrong?"

"Ideas yes, science no.  We'll talk more later, I promise."  Frodo was not just good, he was damn good.  He'd won the trust of the patient, at least for the time being.

Frodo and the Surgeon General stepped out into the hall and walked toward the Nurses Station together.  The Surgeon General did not have to meet his eyes, he had his own suspicions when he called for a consult with the leading Neurosurgeon in all of Middle Earth.  "She has the typically 18 months or less, before the ALS chokes her to death, " said Frodo.  The Surgeon General merely nodded, it was as he suspicioned.  "As you know Sir, there can be no confirming diagnosis without a brain tissue biopsy, and that, of course, is usually post-mortem."

"I figured that you, of all the authorities in Middle Earth, would. . ."

"You're right, I've seen enough cases to know.  It is ALS, and the President's daughter is going to die.  I suppose it would be presumptous of me to ask what you think he's going to say?  You know the Man, and I don't.

"Well, obviously, he's going to be very upset."

"You know what I mean."

"No, I'm afraid I don't."

"You know damn well what I mean.  If it hadn't been for him and his neolithic positions on using federal funds for Stem Cell research, then he would have at least the chance of effective treatment and potential cure for the disease which is going to kill his daughter.  That is, of course, assuming he won't even pursue the other options."

"I am afraid that the President will not approach any of those countries who have been utilizing Stem Cells in order to treat neurological disorders of this nature."

"How ironic, isn't it?  Both Iran and North Korea filled the vacuum he created when he closed the door on American efforts.  Now, to save his daughter's life, he would have to go on bended knee to those members of his "Axis of Evil."

"He won't do that."

"What about Mrs. Bush?  I understand she stood him up over the drinking, and told him 'Jim Beam or me,' years ago.  Won't she force him to be a father and not an ideologue?"

The Surgeon General merely shrugged his shoulders.  "Thank you, Dr. Frodo.  Would you mind. . ."

"You don't have to ask.  All you have to do is let me know when.  I will be there to help in any way I can.  Except, of course, for one thing."


"I never want to see that son-of-a-bitch." 





Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:36 PM EDT
Updated: Wednesday, June 20, 2007 9:38 PM EDT
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