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" Citizen Soldiers" (5)
" Putin' Out" (5)
" Thin Ice"(9)
""I Ain't Got Much" (5)
""Soft Memories" (7)
"$100, Are You Sure?" (5)
"0 Preservative Added"(2)
"105 Minute Workday"(9)
"16 Percent Factor"(3)
"176,000,000 to 1"(8)
"26 Damn Dollars"(6)
"3 Percent Turnout" (2)
"37 Come 11" (5)
"3:10 to Yuma" (7)
"50 Weeks of Reality TV"
"501 (c)(4)"
"54 Pounds" (8)
"8.8 Pounds"(6)
"A Capitol Idea" (6)
"A Code in My Node"
"A Course is a Course"(2)
"A Day At The Beach" (3)
"A Dog Named Bo" (5)
"A Hobbit of an Idea"
"A Man's Army"
"A Patriot Act" (7)
"A Patriotic Act"
"A Perfect World"
"A soldier booed?'(7)
"A Space Odyssey" (4)
"A Taxing Story" (5)
"A Thousand Campfires"(4)
"A Three Hour Tour"(8)
"A Touch of Class"(5)
"A Waisted Day" (5)
"A Woman Scorned"
"Aagh,I'll Pay,I'll Pay"
"Abe Wong, of Gondor"(5)
"Act I, Scene I" (8)
"Act I, Scene II" (8)
"Act I, Scene III" (8)
"Adjustable 2nd Card"(3)
"Adjusting Policies"
"Adjusting the Clock"(8)
"Aegean Adventure" (2)
"Ah ah ah Stayin' Alive"
"Airline Highway" (5)
"Alan Scott" (7)
"All Aboard"
"All Bets Are In" (2)
"All Charged Up"
"All Good Things" (4)
"Allah Be Praised" (5)
"Almost Heaven" (2)
"Alpha Dog"(7)
"Alright, Who Did It?"(7)
"Also Sprach Frodo" (4)
"Always Wear Gloves" (3)
"AM Radio Next?"
"America's Toilet" (6)
"American Cemetery"(8)
"An Admission"
"An Apple A Day" (7)
"An Hour A Day" (6)
"An Ugly American"(4)
"Anchorman" (6)
"And the Winner Is" (2)
"Andy Griffith Redux"
"Another Single Woman?"
"Another Three-namer"(5)
"Another Time/Place"(4)
"Anvil Throwin' Time"(8)
"Apocalypse Now?" (3)
"Aragorn" (4)
"Armored Dildos" (3)
"As Far As We Know" (2)
"Ask Ann Landers" (3)
"Assembly LineDancing"(4)
"Astronaughty" (2)
"Atlanta Times Three"
"Augmentation" (2)
"Augustus Agonistes" (5)
"Aurora Borealis" (8)
"Autumnal Observances"(2)
"Avast You Lubbers"(6)
"Baby Doctors (2)"
"Baby Fiona"(7)
"Baby Nathan Yahoo"(10)
"Back Door Basra (2)"
"Back inthe Saddle Again"
"Bad Boys, Bad Boys"
"Bad Time for Bonzo" (3)
"Balance of Nature" (3)
"Balance of Payments"(5)
"Balancing the Budget"
"Ballamer" (4)
"Bang the Drum Slowly"
"Bank Prank" (5)
"Baptists are Pussies"(7)
"Barbed Wire Escape (2)"
"Barbie Banditos" (3)
"Barely Bearble"(7)
"Barely Defensible" (2)
"Barry Me Not (2)"
"Bathroom onna Right"(3)
"Beach Music" (7)
"Because It Is Hard" (4)
"Beechwood 4-5789"(6)
"Belling the Cat" (2)
"Ben McGee" (3)
"Benny and the Jets"(5)
"Berlusconi in Love"(6)
"Best be straight Boy"(5)
"Best Day/Worst Day"(6)
"Best in the South" (5)
"Best in the World?"(5)
"Betray Us" (3)
"Bettah than Etta"(4)
"Better Man" (3)
"Better Than Pong"
"Big Time Sports" (3)
"Big Words,LittleMind"(6)
"Bilbo's Birthday (2)"
"Bilbo's Little Boy"(5)
"Bilbo's Revenge" (5)
"Bill and Hillary (2)"
"Billy World" (2)
"Bimini Babes" (3)
"Bird is the Word" (3)
"Birmingham Jail" (5)
"Birthday Baggins"
"Birthday Buddies" (7)
"Birthday Memory" (4)
"Birthin' No Babies" (3)
"Bishop to King's Castle"
"Black Friday" (2)
"Black Gold, Texas Tea"
"Black Hole Blues" (4)
"Black Jack"
"Black Russians" (6)
"Black Widow" (3)
"Blackboard Jungle"
"Blame Game" (3)
"Bleached Bones" (5)
"Blitzkrieg Bellini" (2)
"Blood and Swash" (3)
"Bloopers" (5)
"Blue Christmas" (2)
"Bo's Birthday"(5)
"Bob Sikes' Cut"(9)
"Bob, Bob, Bobbit" (3)
"Bobby, not Ben"(6)
"Bon Air Bellicose" (4)
"Bon Giorno" (6)
"Bona Lisa" (5)
"Bonds-v-Skvara" (3)
"Boo Boo Poo Poo"(9)
"Boromir & Galadriel"(5)
"Bottled in Thyme"(7)
"Bottom Ten"(9)
"Bovine Stem Cells?"
"Boy, I Say Boy"
"Boycott BP"
"Breaker, Breaker" (4)
"Breakin' rules" (7)
"Breaking News" (7)
"Brer Fox (2)"
"Bridge at Andau"(11)
"Bring Back Ross" (2)
"Bring the Bowl"
"Broken News"(10)
"Brother of the Ring"
"Brownback Mountain"
"Brownie Hawkeye"
"Buckwheat Breathes" (2)
"Bumper Sticker"
"Burn Baby, Burn" (3)
"Bush in the Bullrushes"
"Bush Baby, Bush (2)"
"Bush is Chinese?" (2)
"Bush Press Conference"
"Bush-Bashers Be We (2)"
"Busman's Holiday(2)"
"Butt...Butt...Butt" (3)
"Butterflies? Sheesh!"
"Buttermilk Drops" (3)
"Buy a Subaru" (11)
"Buy Stock in America"(6)
"Cabin Fever" (5)
"Cain Not Able" (7)
"Cake in the Rain"
"Cake in the Rain"(3)
"Call Me Ishmael" (3)
"Callista, an Albino?"(7)
"Camp Pleasant" (2)
"Can She Name Them?(2)"
"Can You Hear Me Now?"
"Canaan Conspiracy"(6)
"Candygram" (4)
"Captive Audience"(6)
"Caramel or Carmel?"(3)
"Carolina Cougar(2)"
"Carolina Curmudgeon" (5)
"Cartoon Characters" (3)
"Case of Packy Stann"(3)
"Cash crash crashed?"(5)
"Cat Fight" (5)
"Caterpillar Quandry" (3)
"Causal Relationships"(9)
"Cause It's One, (2)"
"Ceramic s"
"Ch-ch-changin'" (4)
"Change a'comin" (5)
"Change is Good" (5)
"Change?" (3)
"Changin' Channels" (2)
"Chapter 13"
"Chariots of Fire"
"Chariots' a' Comin'"(4)
"Chassahowitzka" (2)
"Chauncey Gardner"(7)
"Chemical Alley" (6)
"Cheney of Fools" (2)
"Cherem" (3)
"Chew my Gazebo, Willya?"
"Chief Noc-a-Homa" (3)
"Chingachgook Lives"
"Chipmonkeys Alert (2)"
"Chipper" (6)
"Christian Balls"(10)
"Christian the Lion"(4)
"Christian Valuelessness"
"Christmas Communique"(3)
"Christmas, 1936" (2)
"Chutzpah Hooters" (4)
"Cilled a Bar?" (3)
"Cindy, oh Cindy"(4)
"Citizen Soldiers" (2)
"Clark and Lois (2)"
"Classified Ads are Cool"
"Claymore Gregg" (3)
"Clean Machine" (2)
"Clean up in Aisle 4!"(4)
"Climb It Chains" (8)
"Clinton Cuts" (7)
"Clone Chipper,Please"(4)
"Cockatiel Lounge" (2)
"College of the Shire"(6)
"Combat Kelly (2)"
"Come On Baby"(8)
"Come on Down" (3)
"Comin' Clean" (5)
"Comin' Home" (3)
"Commencement (2)"
"Comparables" (6)
"Condi for President" (3)
"Cone of Silence" (4)
"Conflagration" (3)
"Confusion Reigns"(10)
"Congress Goes to War (2)
"Congress' Schmidthead"
"Conspiracy Theory" (4)
"Copy Cat Chinese" (5)
"Country Roads" (7)
"Crawford Convention" (2)
"Crikey" (2)
"Crime and Punishment(2)"
"Crotch Rocket Delite"(4)
"Cult of the Wild"(7)
"Curious, George?"
"Currahee" (5)
"Da Juice Is Back" (3)
"Dad" (5)
"Damages Done (2)"
"Damn Close" (4)
"Damn It To Hell" (5)
"Damn Lies" (7)
"Dandy Dale" (7)
"Danger Will Robinson"(5)
"Danger,Will Robinson"(8)
"Darth Dick" (5)
"Darwin's Company" (4)
"Das Boot"
"Das Ende" (6)
"Date With David" (2)
"Day of Infamy" (4)
"Day-O, Me Wan Go"(7)
"De Tar-Ball Baby" (6)
"Dead Honkey"
"Dearest Bilbo"
"Debits on the Left?" (2)
"Decisions, Decisions"(6)
"Deep and Dark" (5)
"Deep Shiite" (3)
"Degree of Separation"(6)
"Deja 1958 Over Again"
"Deja Who?"(7)
"Delano" (4)
"Diazinon Ditties (2)"
"Dick Clark Top 10(2)"
"Dimmer Switch" (6)
"Dirty Copter" (4)
"Do They Like Kool Aid?"
"Doctor, Mr. MD"(9)
"Dodged a Bullet"(7)
"Dogmobile" (3)
"Dogs Rule"
"Doing the Right Thing"
"Don't Cut My DSL" (5)
"Don't Feed the Animals"
"Dont Touch That Dial"(6)
"Doofus" (9)
"Doohan's Delight" (3)
"Doris Miller" (6)
"Dorothy Rose" (4)
"Double Deal" (6)
"Doubting Thomases" (3)
"Doug Williams"(4)
"Dover" (4)
"Down Below Back Home"(4)
"Downtown Cardinals"(9)
"Dr. Phil" (5)
"Dubai-Bye" (3)
"Dueling Banjos" (3)
"Dumb and Dumber" (3)
"Dumb As We Wanna Be"(3)
"Dumber Than Dirt" (3)
"Dumbest Politico (2)"
"Eager Uighurs" (4)
"Early Admission" (8)
"Eight Nine Four" (4)
"Elect Jeff Jackson"(10)
"Elizabeth I" (5)
"Emily Latella Lives"
"Emperor's Clothes" (2)
"End of the Line"
"Ending Sams Patience"(7)
"Engine Uprisin'" (4)
"Ensign Pulver"(5)
"EOTUS" (5)
"Equinox Approaching"(10)
"Equinoxious" (4)
"Escalator Escalatin'"(5)
"ESP" (6)
"Etchings, Anyone?"(5)
"Ethel Merman Lives"
"Eve, It's Oil!"
"Evenin' Govnah" (6)
"Everyday Miracles"
"Evil Thoughts" (3)
"Eye Opener" (3)
"Eyes of a Gorilla"
"Fair is Fare"(7)
"Falcon" (8)
"Fall Ball" (3)
"Fallin' Behind"(11)
"Falling Apart" (9)
"Fargo Felines" (5)
"Fashionable Frodo" (5)
"Father Ed" (3)
"Faux les Bas" (2)
"Female Insurgency (2)"
"Ferengi or Ferangi?" (3)
"Fergit? Hell No!"
"Film at 11"
"Findin' William"(11)"
"Firing US Attorneys" (3)
"First Freeze" (6)
"First Learn to Lose"
"First National Bank" (5)
"First Sentence" (8)
"Five Easy Pieces" (4)
"Float Yer Boat" (4)
"Flower Power (2)"
"Foe Years Old" (4)
"Follow the Money"
"Followin' Ava" (4)
"For More Years" (3)
"Forbidden Fruit"
"Fords and Dads" (2)
"Foreclosure Follies" (7)
"Foreclosure Notice" (6)
"Forest Primeval"(8)
"Form 666" (3)
"Forms For Everything"(6)
"Foundling Fathers"(7)
"Fourteen Years Ago?"(5)
"Fox Views" (3)
"Frack You" (7)
"Frances Died Today"(7)
"Fred's Dead Head" (3)
"Free at Last"
"Free Hidden Telecast"(4)
"Freedom? Hell No" (3)
"Friend by Your Side" (3)
"Friend by your Side" (4)
"Friendly Persuasion" (5)
"Friends of Bill" (7)
"Frist Friends"
"Frodo and Housman" (2)
"Frodo and Jesus"
"Frodo and Revere?"(7)
"Frodo And Truckers (2)"
"Frodo Dissents" (6)
"Frodo Not Foggo (2)"
"Frodo of Arabia(2)"
"Frodo Op" (5)
"Frodo Regrets"
"Frodo Study Group" (2)
"Frodo visits Bilbo"
"Frodo's Almanac"(9)
"Frodo's Bad Day"
"Frodo's Book Club"(5)
"Frodo's Dilemma" (3)
"Frodo's Faux Pas" (3)
"Frodo's Final Four" (3)
"Frodo's Foreign Policy"
"Frodo's Hall of Fame"(4)
"Frodo's Newer Friend"(6)
"Frodo's Retirement"(8)
"Frodo's Revenge"
"Frodo's Revenge"(7)
"Frodo's Solutions" (6)
"Frodo's Xmas Story"(6)
"Frodo, James Frodo" (3)
"Furriners" (4)
"Gainful Employment" (3)
"Galadriel Is No More"(3)
"Gandalf's Challenge (2)"
"Garland Duesenberry" (2)
"Gas Guzzler A-Go-Go"
"Gasp, Wheeze (2)"
"Gay Faux Holes" (5)
"Genarlow de Chariot" (3)
"Genesis Ignored" (3)
"Geneva Accords Redux"
"Geography Lesson" (3)
"George to the Rescue"(3)
"Georgia on my Mind"(3)
"Getting Your Wish" (3)
"Gidget Goes Gondor"(7)
"Gimme Head With Hair"(3)
"Girls Night Out" (6)
"Give 'em Hell, Tom" (5)
"Give Heath a Chance (2)"
"Give Us Your Tired. . ."
"Giving Way to Anger" (2)
"Glenn Frey"(11)
"Glory Days"
"Goin' Home" (3)
"Gondor Goodfellas"(9)
"Gondor Gravitas" (3)
"Good Cop" (7)
"Good Day America" (6)
"Good Friday It Was"(9)
"Good Friday, Maybe"(11)
"Good Ol Mountain Dew"(5)
"Good Son"
"Goodbye Kids (2)"
"Goodbye, Ethan" (2)
"Goodman is Hard to Find"
"Goose Again"
"GOP Convention" (3)
"Gotta Have a Home (2)"
"Grading on a Curve"
"Graffiti Government" (2)
"Great American Hero"
"Great American Hero" (2)
"Greatest Duet Ever"(6)
"Greed is Good"(5)
"Greetings" (8)
"Grissom not Gruesome"(4)
"Groupies for Edwards"(4)
"Guess We Forgot?"(8)
"Guest Workers (2)"
"Guns of August" (7)
"Guts of August" (3)
"Gwinnett Again?" (3)
"Halo, 1,2,3?" (3)
"Ham I Am" (3)
"Handi-Wipes" (3)
"Hang 'em High" (2)
"Hanky Time, Ladies"
"Happens in Threes"(5)
"Happy Anniversary"(9)
"Happy Mardi Gras"(2)
"Harpo Speaks"
"Harry" (2)
"Harry's Bar-Venice" (2)
"Hawkeye, Redux"(7)
"Haz Mat" (3)
"He Ate the Olive!"(7)
"He is deeply missed (2)"
"He Picks Up Poop?" (5)
"He Took De Bait" (8)
"He's 'Little Ricky'?"(7)
"Healthcare for Frodo"(5)
"Heart Soar Like Hawk"(5)
"Heck of an Engineer"(7)
"Hedge Fund Hippies" (3)
"Heeeerrre's Frodo" (3)
"Heeere's Johnny" (6)
"Heeerrrre's Frodo" (3)
"Hello, Mr. Wilson" (5)
"Hello? Central?" (3)
"Help Wanted"
"Helping Frodo" (4)
"Here Come da Judge" (2)
"Here Come da Judge" (6)
"Here Kitty-Kitty" (4)
"Here Kitty-kitty"(5)
"Here's Help, Now Leave"
"Here's Your Watch" (3)
"Hi Jinx" (5)
"Hide Anythin' Edible"(5)
"High Chair" (2)
"Hobbits And a Truck"(4)
"Hold On Romo" (2)
"Hold the Malaise" (4)
"Honey Dew List"(9)
"Hopalong Frodo"(9)
"Horn of Africa (2)"
"Horse Latitudes" (6)
"Horsehockey" (3)
"Hosea Can You See" (3)
"Hosea Can You See?" (3)
"Hot Tamale" (3)
"Hotel Plimhimmon"(9)
"HOV or DOA?" (3)
"How Dogs Love Us" (10)
"How Many Delegates?"
"How Many Delegates?" (3)
"How Now Broun Cow"(8)
"Hraka" (4)
"Huckleberry Hound" (3)
"Hund Scheisse CSI" (5)
"Hungarian Answer" (4)
"I Believe in Music (2)"
"I can hope, can't I?"(9)
"I Could Cry" (2)
"I Inspired You?"
"I say it's Spinach. . ."
"I'll Get Back to You"(3)
"I'll Huff and Puff" (4)
"I'll Take a Vowel"
"I'm Baaack" (2)
"I'mSo In LoveWithYou"(7)
"Ides of March Again" (4)
"Ides of Texas" (6)
"IED's in Congress" (2)
"If Frodo Ran The DHS"(5)
"If It Ain't OneThing"(5)
"If the truth be told"(6)
"If You Remember,Then"(6)
"If" (6)
"Imagine,General Newt"(6)
"Imitation of Life" (5)
"Immigration Reform (2)"
"In a Galaxy Far Away(2)"
"In a Pig's Eye" (4)
"In Dog We Trust" (10)
"In the Beginning"
"In the Beginning" (3)
"Incomparable Moron" (4)
"Indoor Toilets Rule" (4)
"Intersex Village" (2)
"Interstate Parking (2)"
"Ion Propulsion"(7)
"Iran's Tom Hayden"
"Irish Spring"(3)
"Is it in the Water?"
"Is That in America?" (2)
"Is You da One,Jimmy?"(3)
"Islamic Fundamentals"(8)
"Isn't Amnesty Good?"(3)
"Isn't Change Good?"(6)
"It's A Trap" (6)
"It's Just a Movie"
"It's Just Business"
"Ja, Wir Konnen."
"Jack Crabb" (10)
"Jambo Jumbo" (3)
"Japanese Movie?" (3)
"Je suis Frodo"(10)
"Jefferson Rock" (3)
"Jes' the facts Ma'am"(4)
"Jim Crow" (5)
"Joad Family Reunion?"(6)
"Joad Jobs" (4)
"Joe Soptic" (8)
"Jonestown Redux" (3)
"Jose and Claudia" (4)
"Joshua Generation" (3)
"Just Another Day" (3)
"Just Clearin' Brush"(3)
"Just Desserts (2)"
"Just Desserts" (7)
"Just Say 'Nyet'"(7)
"Just to CU Smile" (5)
"Kandy Kakes 2"
"Ken Meets Jack"
"Key Word Apology" (6)
"Killer's Geraldine" (4)
"Kilowatts Per Mile" (6)
"Kiribati Republic"(6)
"Kirk Saves Nemo"
"Kiss a Girl Goodbye"(2)
"Knew You Not Pompey?"(3)
"Kodak Moment" (2)
"Kool Sailboat" (4)
"Korea, Korea" (2)
"Kudlow's Kreeps"(4)
"Lady of Rohan" (3)
"Land Ho"(8)
"Lean and Hungry " (2)
"Leeward, I Say, Leeward"
"Legs Diamond" (3)
"Legs" (3)
"Leslie" (4)
"Lessons Learned" (2)
"Let Them Eat Cake"
"Let's Bake Cookies" (3)
"Let's Play A Game" (6)
"Letter Home" (6)
"Letter to Lou" (4)
"Liberal Lament" (40)
"Lief, Leaf, or Loaf"(8)
"Life In A Red State"
"Lights of Chicago"
"Like a Barack" (2)
"Limbaugh Hero"(7)
"Lime Bandits" (3)
"Lime is on my side" (6)
"Limestone Cowboys" (3)
"Lip Smackin' Good?"(6)
"Little Big Horn (2)"
"Little Houdini" (5)
"Little Sky"
"Littlest Angel" (2)
"Livin' is Easy?"(7)
"Loans and Deposits" (4)
"Lois, I Never Lie"(8)
"Lonely Avenue" (3)
"Lonesome Frodo" (3)
"Look away Dixieland"(6)
"Look for da Union Label"
"Look Who's Talkin'" (2)
"Lookin' Back, Texas" (3)
"Lost Weekend"(8)
"Low Water, Slow Flow"(3)
"Lox? Or Locks?" (7)
"Lunatic Cattle Call"(8)
"M-G-M Material"
"Ma Bell is Baaack" (3)
"Ma Bell Lives" (7)
"Macaca, Your Macaca" (2)
"Mad Dogs&Englishmen"(6)
"Made You Look" (6)
"Magic Fridge (2)"
"Magic Moments"(7)
"Make Jobs, Not War"(7)
"MaMa's Little Babies"(3)
"Man For All Seasons" (2)
"Man of the Century"
"Man Up, Harry"(6)
"Man's Best Friend?"
"Many happy returns"
"March Forth" (8)
"Marking Time" (3)
"Martyr Magic" (2)
"Marvelous Mac"(8)
"Mary Lee & Genie"(8)
"Master of None" (8)
"May Day, Comrade"(7)
"Maynard G. Krebs" (7)
"Medal of Honor" (6)
"Media is the Message(2)"
"Media Reporting" (6)
"Mental Healthcare" (4)
"Michelle, my Belle"(7)
"Mick's Day"(8)
"Mickey and Me"(6)
"MidSummer Nights Dream"(7)
"Mikileaks" (6)
"Missionary Position" (3)
"Missionary Position" (7)
"Mississipp' Sippin'"(2)
"Mister Roberts" (8)
"Moamar:The Movie"(7)
"Mohair Sam" (5)
"Mon Petit Shoe"(4)
"Monkeys in Mississippi"
"Moody Blue"(7)
"Moody" (7)
"Mooman" (3)
"Moon Over Miami"(4)
"Mooosic" (5)
"Moovin' On Up" (2)
"Mordor or Antarctica?"
"More Than Some" (4)
"Moultrie Poultry" (3)
"Mount Mulch" (2)
"Movin' On Up" (2)
"Mr. Toad's Motorcar (2)"
"Mumbai, My Lord" (4)
"Murtha For President(2)"
"N. Leroy" (7)
"Name That Tune"(4)
"Nascaroil" (4)
"Nat King Cole Sucks"(5)
"NCAA---Blech!" (7)
"Nein, nein, nein"(7)
"Never Doubt Bilbo"
"Never heard of him"
"New Life, Old Leaves"(4)
"Newest Friend"(8)
"Newman's Own" (4)
"Newt/Mitt '12" (3)
"Next Case" (6)
"Next Door Neighbors" (3)
"NFL Commissioner (2)"
"NFL Trade" (3)
"Nielsen Ratings" (2)
"Nine Months PG" (7)
"Nixon Agonistes" (3)
"No Faux News?" (3)
"No Googling Allowed"(4)
"No Humor Today"
"No Peanut Left Behind"
"No Sale" (3)
"No, Not Russian" (4)
"No-No, No" (3)
"Nobody Even Asked"(8)
"Noo Yawk Stateamind"(2)
"Not a Bang,a Whimper"(7)
"Not Funny, Dr Jones"(5)
"Not North Carolina" (6)
"Not Percy Sledge?" (3)
"Not Percy Sledge?"(3)
"Number One" (3)
"Number Please?"(7)
"Number, Please"(8)
"Numbers Don't Lie" (3)
"Numbers Racket" (4)
"Obama Doctrine" (5)
"Obama's Generals"(5)
"October Dreamin'" (4)
"Ode to an Athlete (2)"
"Ogal Preston Crews (2)"
"Oh Kenny Boy (2)"
"Oh the possibilities"(8)
"Oh Ye White Whale" (3)
"Oh, Sadaharu" (2)
"OK Baptist Chorale" (4)
"Old McDonnell's Farm"(7)
"Old Time Baseball"(9)
"Old Times Topic" (6)
"Olympic Changes" (4)
"On Her Code?" (4)
"On Vacation, I'm Sure"
"One Act Play"
"One Down, More Comin'"
"One For the Good Guys"
"One More Round" (4)
"One Orbit of the Sun"(2)
"Only 434 More to Go" (2)
"Opportunity Sox" (3)
"Or the Yellow Peril?"(6)
"Osama Can You See?" (2)
"Our God Is Better" (3)
"Our Town" (5)
"Our Town" (8)
"Out Damned Spot (2)"
"Out of Kilter" (5)
"Out of the Ashes" (4)
"Overdue Books" (3)
"Pace Car" (3)
"Painted Toenails?"(4)
"Panic Attack"(10)
"Pants on Fire"
"Parade of Horribles"(4)
"Part Two" (5)
"Pass the Malais" (4)
"Passion Flowers" (5)
"Past is Prologue" (3)
"Pat bin Laden"
"Patsy for America"
"Peaceful Easy Feelin"(3)
"Peacetakescourage" (3)
"Permanent Vacation" (5)
"Persons of the Year"
"Philadelphia Bunnyface?"
"Philosopher Kings" (4)
"Pickled Cabbage?"
"Picture of Frodo"(5)
"Pilot Wales" (2)
"Pirate Booty"
"Pit Bull Revenge"(4)
"Pius Baloney I" (7)
"Place of Good Abode" (3)
"Plaque 42W, Line 12"
"Play It Again, Sam"
"Play Melancholy Baby"
"Play the Frodo Game"(6)
"Playin' Possum" (3)
"Poland Parole Patrol"(5)
"Polish or Polish?"
"Poll Results Just In"
"Poly Sci 101"(9)
"Poor People"
"Pope for a Day" (10)
"Pope-a-Dope" (5)
"Popeil Veg-o-matic"
"Potty Training" (3)
"Power Surge"(9)
"Pray for, Gas?" (4)
"Pray With Me Henry" (2)
"Pre-emptive Passages"(2)
"Preemptive Invasion"
"Presidential Erection"
"Problem, Officer?" (3)
"Problem, Officer?" (5)
"Problems?" (4)
"Promises Made" (3)
"Promises To Keep" (5)
"Promises to Keep"(9)
"Proud I Am"
"Proud Walter" (5)
"Proxy Server Error" (4)
"Prudent" (10)
"Psychiatrist,5 cents"(6)
"Pugnacious Maverick"
"Pulitzer Means Squat"(8)
"Punxatawney Bush"
"Puppy Angel" (2)
"Purple Pill Please" (2)
"Putin Tang" (3)
"Qaddafi Wins, For Now"(7)
"Qualified? Yeah Right!"
"Quayle Hunting"
"Queen of Memphis"
"Queen of the Damned"
"Quittin' Time" (8)
"Quoth the Raven"(7)
"QVC and Dorothy"
"Qwest For Truth (2)"
"Radio and TV"(7)
"Rain, Rain, Go Away?"(4)
"Rainy Day in Georgia(2)"
"Raptor Rapture" (7)
"Read All About It" (5)
"Real Men Don't Shop"(4)
"Rechargin' da Shire"(11)
"Recycled Air (Gasp)" (2)
"Red Sky at Morning" (3)
"Red Sky at Morning"(5)
"Reduced Flow Flush"(5)
"Reimers' Rhymers"(5)
"Remember These?"
"Remembering Jessica" (2)
"Remote Outpost" (7)
"Render Unto Wright" (4)
"Reverend LeRoy" (3)
"Rice on Hot Tin Roof(2)"
"Rick Santa Anna"(5)
"Right Not Privilege" (4)
"Road to Damascus"
"Road Trip" (5)
"Roads Scholar" (8)
"Rocket Man"
"Rocket Man" (5)
"Rockets Red Glare" (5)
"Rocks Rox"(8)
"Roger the Dodger"(4)
"Roger Williams Sucks"(2)
"Rooty-Toot" (6)
"Rose Garden Promises"(4)
"Royal Portrait" (2)
"Rubber Ducky" (2)
"Rubio's Cube"(6)
"Rules" (6)
"Rules" (7)
"Rumblin' Bumblin'" (3)
"Rumsfeldstiltskin" (2)
"Run Eddie, Run" (5)
"Run Far, Run Fast"(7)
"Run Forrest, Run"
"Run, old hare!"
"Runaround Tsu"
"Runs in the Family" (3)
"Rwanda Go Home?"(6)
"S'long Sarong (2)"
"Sabato Knows" (2)
"Sam Shopping" (2)
"San Juan de Capistrano"
"Sandy Hook" (8)
"Santos v. Vinnick"
"Satire-Apology to Mick"
"Sauron Psalms" (2)
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"Savin' Gas" (4)
"SAWB" (3)
"Say Cheese"(7)
"Say It Ain't So,Jo"(4)
"Say It Ain't So,Joe" (2)
"School Holiday" (4)
"Science Marches On"
"Scooter" (2)
"Scott Free" (4)
"Sears and Loveaduck" (5)
"Second Line (2)"
"Second of Two" (4)
"Seems Like Yesterday"(4)
"Seems Like Yesterday"(9)
"Seen Any Blue Swans?"(3)
"Selective Service"(8)
"September Twelfth"(5)
"Serendipity Strikes" (3)
"Serge is Working?" (3)
"Serious,For A Change"(6)
"Seven Samurai" (5)
"Sex or Gender?"
"Sexiest Man Alive"(5)
"Shaken, not stirred"(10)
"She is No Ma Kettle"
"Sheep and Museums"
"Sheep in Mindanao?"
"Shenandoah Rangers"(7)
"Shenandoah" (6)
"Shire Sunset"
"Shock and Awe" (4)
"Shoot 'em, Vern"
"Side by Side" (7)
"Sidin' With Anemone"(4)
"Silence of the Lambs"(2)
"Silent, but deadly"(6)
"Sing It Again" (4)
"Sink or Swim"
"Sir A Gut" (3)
"Six Days on the Road"
"Skull and Bones"(4)
"Skunk Cabbage" (3)
"Sleepy Time (2)"
"Slippin' and a Slidin'"
"Sludge Stimulus" (5)
"Small Businesses-Ha!"(6)
"Small Gray Planet"(2)
"Small Victories"
"Smellin' Roses"
"Smirk Jerk" (2)
"Smokin' Pesticide Dope"
"Smoochy Time" (4)
"Snazis" (2)
"Snow Tan"(11)
"Snowiches" (6)
"So Who's Sluggo?" (2)
"Social Security Reform"
"Social Security" (7)
"Socrates and Friends"(5)
"Soldier of the King"
"Soldier of the Storm(2)"
"Solitary Isolation" (3)
"Solving a Problem"(9)
"Somethin' Borrowed"(5)
"Something in Commons"(5)
"Sometimes Life Sucks"(4)
"Sorcerer's Apprentice"
"Soul Train" (5)
"Souter Rules, Dude"
"Southern Ladies" (5)
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"Stan & Ollie"(7)
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"Stragedy" (8)
"Strangerthan fiction"(6)
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"Stupidly" (5)
"Stupor Bowl Sunday"(2)
"Subsidizing Seeds"(6)
"Sunday, Sunday"(9)
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"Supportin' da Troops"(2)
"Supportin' da Troops"(3)
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"Take a letter, dearie"
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"Terminal? Great!"
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"Terrible Swift Sword"(6)
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"Tess of the Dorghis" (8)
"Texas Exes" (8)
"Thank the Academy"(4)
"Thank You Rand Paul"
"Thank You, Molly" (2)
"Thanks, Dad" (3)
"Thar She Blows"
"That Looks Like Me"(5)
"That's the way it is"(5)
"Thawt Yuze a Toad"(7)
"The 60 Year Struggle"(5)
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"The Blue Dog"(11)
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"The Brotherhood Begins"
"The Eyes of Texas"
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"The Grumpy Dwarf"(9)
"The Important Stuff"
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"The Pre-Fellowship"(4)
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"Third Strike Nuance (2)"
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"To Arms, To Arms"
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"Tom Bombadil isDying"(7)
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"Tom" (4)
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"Underdog Shmunderdog"(4)
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"Video Thriller"(5)
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"W is for Wuss""
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"Wait 'Til Next Year"(2)A
"Walkin' in the Woods"(5)
"Walkin' the Dogs"(8)
"Walkin' the Walk"
"Wall of Libertad"
"War on Middle Class"(2)
"War on Tara"
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"Water Into Wine" (11)
"Water into Wine?"
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"Wayne Johnson"(4)
"We Make a Better Day"(5)
"We Sank a Truck"
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"Wedding Bell Blues"
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"Weepy Seepy Peepee"(3)
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"Well, Duh!"
"Well, Poop"(8)
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"What Goes Around" (6)
"What if JR Shot Back"(9)
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"What Mark Felt"
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"What's A Cubit?"
"What's a Sgarbi?" (5)
"What, Me Worry?"
"What, Me Worry?" (3)
"Where Sun Doan Shine"(8)
"Where's Frodo?" (5)
"Where's my puppy?"(4)
"Where's the Beef?"
"Where's the Fire?"(5)
"Whither Frodo?"
"Whitman's Sampler"(6)
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"Who dat?" (2)
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"Who Torted?"
"Who Was That Guy?" (5)
"Who's In Line?"(6)
"Who's We, White Boy?"(3)
"Why are you here"?(3)
"Why are you here?" (3)
"Why Black Folks Cheered"
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"Wicked Pickett"
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"Winchester Women (2)"
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"Wither Weather?"(4)
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"Workin' on Night Moves"
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"Writer's Block" (2)
"Wrong Again, Frodo"(3)
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"Xmas in Shreveport"(6)
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"Yankee Ingenuity"
"Yella Rose a Taxes"(4)
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"Yes, No, Who Knows?" (2)
"You Betcha" (6)
"You Put Your Eye Out"(2)
"You Snake in the Grass"
"You Take the High Road"
"Zimmerman Noted"(6)
"Zinni in Bloom (2)"
"Zounds, Sounds!" (5)
"Zounds, you varlet"(4)
Southern Pine Beetles"(4)
The H Word" (6)
Citizens of Middle Earth
The Fellowship of the Ring
The Return of the King
Frodo, Keeper of the Ring
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
The Jailer man And Sailor Sam Were Searching Everyone
Mood:  flirty
Topic: "Doubting Thomases" (3)

Frodo learned at an early age that mowing the lawn or cleaning the bottom of a swimming pool are two of the only tasks in life in which one can actually see progress being made.  Frodo observed that in both instances the results were short-lived.  Similar conclusions may be drawn about the activities of two men named Thomas.

Isaiah Thomas was a great basketball player, and smart enough to save some of the millions he made on the front court.  After his playing days were over, he had positioned himself properly so that he could invest in the most valuable franchise in the NBA, the New York Knickerbockers.  Today he is the face and part-owner of the Knicks, and as such he has become "the man;" one for whom black people toiled for two centuries in the land of Middle Earth.  It is inspiring, refreshing, and Frodo feels proud that such achievements are possible.

Clarence Thomas is the 59 year-old Associate Justice of the Supreme Court of the United States.  The Yale University graduate and former senior government official had served on the bench but a single year when he was picked by President George H. W. Bush.  After a contentious set of hearings, he was confirmed and today is the only black American to sit on the highest Court in the land.  It is important that such a significant portion of the population of Middle Earth be physically represented in the Judiciary, and it is noteworthy that what was once an assembly of "the man" now also contains those who toiled on his behalf.

With power however, problems, like growing grass or silt in the pool, confront the newly-enfranchised as they did his predecessor.  Over the past week, both Messrs. Isaiah and Clarence had to deal with charges of sexual harassment, and to deny those charges publicly.  What struck Frodo's imagination about these charges were that they were both complaints from black women.  There was a time, not long ago in Middle Earth, when such charges would have been virtually ignored by those in power, since it was assumed that the conduct of black people reflected their inferiority.  Frodo, logically, should take pride in the genuine societal interest in the affairs of men and women who just happen to be black, and who now are dealing with the problems of driving the bus. 

Frankly, neither of the Thomases seemed too happy.  Frodo feels a certain amount of compassion for those who are challenged on the basis of what is either their actual behavior, or what is perceived to be their behavior.  It is difficult to walk all of the lines that separate propriety from impropriety when the rules change because of who happens to be in the room at the time.  The outcome reflects judgment, not experience.  Experience is an expensive teacher; just ask the Thomases.


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:33 PM EDT
Updated: Wednesday, October 3, 2007 8:36 PM EDT
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Sunday, September 30, 2007
Hold On Tight To Your Dreams
Mood:  spacey
Topic: "No Faux News?" (3)

The gallant Braves were flying back to Atlanta during the 1976 baseball season when Ted Turner, the new owner of the ball club and a pioneer in cable TV, began to draw on a napkin.  He explained to his broadcast team that they could conceivably beam a signal to a communications satellite which could then be transmitted to cable systems all over the country.  The broadcasters looked at one another, and said "That's interesting."

The Atlanta Braves of 1976 were one of the worst teams in all of baseball.  At the time, there was no ESPN, no regional sports networks, and even (hallelujah) no Fox.  Skip Caray, one of the original broadcasters said, "It was like being on the first wagon train heading west.  We didn't know where we were going, but we were having fun getting there."  Soon the fledgling cable TV stations around the country realized that live baseball was more entertaining than playing tapes of usually very dull subject-matter, even if it was a crummy team.  The broadcasters were probably the first to recognize thjat something was happening, simply because they were being recognized everywhere they went, and people started doing things like buying them drinks.

Dale Murphy, Bob Horner, Jerry Royster, Ralph Garr, Hank Aaron, Gary Matthews, Phil Niekro, Pascual Perez, Glenn Hubbard, Bob Watson, and a plethora of others were becoming household names all over America.  The ubiquitous Turner added homey touches and down-right offensive stuff to grab the nation's attention.  Watching an ostrich race, or a cow-milking contest was not unexpected on any given night at the ballpark, and "Chief Noc-a-Homa" would emerge from his teepee in the left-field stands and dance a little dance whenever an Atlanta Brave hit a home run.  There was an air of uncontrolled festival emanating from America's town that was too busy to hate anybody.

In 1991 the Atlanta Braves went from last in the National League to first place, and suddenly the attention they had achieved on America's cable stations caught fire.  The Commissioner of Major League Baseball was deluged with complaints from the other team owners, whose attendance and viewership dropped significantly as people wanted to watch the boys from Atlanta.  Viewership nationally justified the dubbing of this emerging monolith as "America's Team."

John Smoltz, Chipper Jones, Tom Glavine, Greg Maddox, Ron Gant, David Justice, Otis Nixon, Francisco Cabrera, Fred McGriff, Jeff Blauser, Sid Bream, John Rocker, and  Julio Franco were participants in a 14-year reign as the only team to win the championship of the Eastern Division of the National League.  That is a record of first-place finishes that has never been approximated by any team, in any sport, anywhere, ever.

So?  Is Frodo merely lamenting the fact that, at long last, the reign has ended and his "gallant Braves" have ended their season without achieving even a second-place berth in the play-offs leading up to the World Series?  No, it is not that simple.

The Turner Broadcasting System televised its final Atlanta Braves baseball game this afternoon.  Viewership has declined 84% since the heyday of 1995, what with the growth of ESPN, other sports networks, and yes, even Fox (gag).  Ted Turner is long gone, forced out in the mergers that brought Time-Warner, Liberty Media, and other space aliens into the corporate ownership, and the humanity of the organization followed in the same fashion as the demise of the Great Auk. 

Somewhere the sun is shining, so the poem goes.  The mighty Casey of sports programming in America, who brought one team into America's living rooms, and made the Mayor of Hilo, Hawaii, among others, a fan of a team in a place where he had never even visited, had indeed, struck out.  Frodo will no longer be able to watch the gallant Braves from his retreat in the mountains, that is, unless he signs up for for only $199.

Therein is the rub, or so Billy Shakespeare might have said.  Ah, but there is so much more,  for never again will Frodo's father call him on the telephone and say "What's the matter with Murphy?  He's not hitting."  Never again will Skip Caray scream into a microphone as Sid Bream slides across home plate with the words "Braves Win, Braves Win, Braves Win."  Never again will Ted and Jane sit next to Jimmy and Rosalyn in the front row. 

It won't be the gallant Braves against the world, ever again. 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:55 PM EDT
Updated: Sunday, September 30, 2007 8:58 PM EDT
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Saturday, September 29, 2007
Lookin' For Adventure
Mood:  cheeky
Topic: "Newt/Mitt '12" (3)

Of all the institutions involved in the American political process, Frodo is most taken with the concept of the "open primary."  Without having to declare party allegiance, anyone can vote for whomever in either the Republican or the Democratric Primary.  The voter is in no way inhibited by that vote as to the casting of a ballot in the General election.  The only negative, as best Frodo has been able to determine, is that he is solicited on the telephone by candidates from both parties.  The concept allowed Frodo to vote for Pat Buchanan in a Republican primary, knowing that he had no chance of victory in a General election against Bill Clinton for President.  Putting the weakest possible candidate against Clinton was Frodo's intent.  The open primary also allowed Frodo to vote against Ralph Reed, thereby eliminating the smarmy weasel from consideration for any political office.  Frodo recommends that all the States of Middle Earth consider the benefits of an open primary.

Frodo laments the news that Newt Gingrich (pron. Ging Rick by his sister, who just happens to be gay) today announced that he would not seek the Presidential bid of the Republican Party in the 2008 General election.  Had he run, Frodo would have had the opportunity to cast a vote against this slime ball for the fourth time.  The point is however, that Frodo probably would have taken advantage of the open primary once again, and probably would have actually voted for the Newtster.  It speaks well to the growing, albeit glacially fast, sophistication of voters in Georgia, that even in one of Newt's adopted states, he would fail to carry anything beyond the percentage of the population that suffers from Mongoloid delusions.

For the general public, the most fascinating aspect of the events was the announcement that His Geekness would only have run if his supporters could have come up with $30 Million.  Two days later we receive the bad news.  Frodo, his curiosity piqued by the unspoken truth in such a quick pronouncement, is proud to announce that his sources working with the lady who serves beer to retail customers of Ben & Jerry's in McLean, Virginia, have provided him with documentation of the pledges to the Gingrich Exploratory Campaign.  Newt was able to take the cash itself and purchase two scoops of "Rocky Road," and a Bud Lite.

Frodo is, dear reader, asking you to consider a ticket of Newt and Mitt for 2012.  Can't you just see it?  Here they come, crammed into a miniature motorcar with Mitt's five sons and Newt's three wives, all wearing floppy shoes and noses that blink on-and-off.  They squirt each other with seltzer bottles, and the Party which began with Abraham Lincoln is swept up and settled into the elephantine effluent piled just outside the Big Top.  Newt has a spoon.


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:47 PM EDT
Updated: Saturday, September 29, 2007 9:49 PM EDT
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Friday, September 28, 2007
When We're Hungry, Love Will Keep Us Alive
Mood:  sad
Topic: "Goin' Home" (3)

Beer Ayuel, originally from southern Sudan, was displaced by war, but somehow won a scholarship to study in Cairo.  He learned four languages, and resettled in the United States in 1999.  Atlanta, Georgia, was fortunate to receive this new resident.  Through his church he would become a mentor for a group of young men you may have heard about, dear reader, "The Lost Boys of Sudan."  These children, separated from parents during the chaos of War in the Sudan, survived months of wandering and came of age in dismal refugee camps.  In 2001, when the first group was brought to America, Beer was there to greet 150 even newer residents to his adopted home town.

There are many stories about these young men and how they adapted to a 21st Century environment, when all they had ever known was the Stone Age, with rifles.  Few stories are told about those who worked directly with these young men, in the spirit, of the Spirit, if you will.  Beer quickly became a special source of inspiration to the "Lost Boys," since he, too, had survived war, and was willing to give selflessly to these who followed him into a New World.

Six months ago, Beer Ayuel traveled back to Cairo to wed his fiancee, Ms. Amiot Kur, but only after he had achieved American citizenship.  The new bride remained in Cairo, waiting for a visa, while her husband returned to America.  Beer had great difficulty finding employment suitable for his new responsibilities in Georgia.  The best alternative he found was to work as an Arabic translator for L-3 Communications, a New York based company that provides translators and other services in Iraq.

This past Tuesday, after 17 days in Iraq, while assigned to assist soldiers of the Third Infantry Division in restive central Iraq, Beer Ayuel was killed in a suicide bombing.  His brother-in-law, who lives in Nebraska, is arranging for Ayuel's remains to be flown to Atlanta where he will buried.

Frodo is cleaning the lint off of his dark suit.  He will be one of at least 151 "Lost Boys" there to send Beer Ayuel home.  Perhaps Frodo can learn enough Sudanese to simply say "I am so sorry." 

This death will not be included in the nightly number.  It will be as if he never happened at all.   Had he merely failed to survive the first war from which he escaped, it would have made little difference to most.  But not to all.  That is what Frodo keeps telling himself, through his tears.  


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:49 PM EDT
Updated: Friday, September 28, 2007 8:51 PM EDT
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Thursday, September 27, 2007
Momma Told Me That Ain't The Way to Have Fun
Mood:  quizzical
Topic: "Halo, 1,2,3?" (3)

A video game, something called "Halo 3," which implies that the subject herein is part of a continuing series, produced by MicroSoft, has just grossed more revenue in its' first week of issuance than has any movie, anywhere in the world.  Each of these little babies costs $60.  Frodo has been trying to analyze exactly what the equivalent expenditure would be for any outdoor activity.  What he must accept however, is that the times they are a changin' once again, and that Clark Gable, Dustin Hoffman, Stephen Segal, Robert Redford, and Brad Pitt, among others, are about to be permanently replaced by something in a helmet shooting lasers at war dogs.

Frodo is a proponent of change.  Growing up in a world that decried everything from the changing complexion of a neighborhood to the increasing cost of soda water, Frodo's first acts of rebellion were in response to everyone who thought that the whole world was going to hell in a hand basket.  Frodo looked at new neighbors as sources of information about everything from music to cigarettes.  Higher prices for some items brought competition and product expansion that met the ever-changing needs of a halfling (Perhaps "Gatorade" being the clearest example of increasing profit in soft drinks resulting in something with a completely new purpose).  Frodo therefore, long ago promised himself to never, ever be critical of change.  Change is good.

But $60 for a video game?  Were "Halo 1" and "Halo 2" also $60?  Each?  What, Heaven forbid, will be the cost of "Halo 4"?

Frodo knows a boy who was offered a minor-league baseball contract many years ago.  That boy would have played 50 games for $300 and $6 per day; meal money.  He turned down the opportunity because he could work construction and make $1000 for the summer.  The difference helped pay for a semester of college.

Today, it would take him all the way to "Halo 6," and change.



Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:04 PM EDT
Updated: Thursday, September 27, 2007 9:06 PM EDT
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Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Come On Baby Let It Hurt So Good
Mood:  silly
Topic: "Huckleberry Hound" (3)

Occasionally a living, breathing, educated homonid says something so ridiculous that Frodo feels the need for dramatic license.

"Sergeant Frodo?" 

"Yes Saint Peter, you called for me?"

"Yes, I did, I was just checking to see how things are going here at the Pearly Gates Admissions Desk?"

"Well  Sir, funny you should ask, we have been having a little problem with that guy standing over there filling out his paperwork."

"A problem you say?  Who was he, and is there something I need to do?"

"He claims to be the former Governor of something called Arkansas, and I believe he said his name was Huckleberry.  Frankly, I couldn't find more than 2 or 3 out of 100 or so Angels who had ever heard of the guy.  He is complaining about the activities scheduled for his corner of Heaven, and was demanding to speak with you.  Frankly, I figured a few milennia worth of paperwork might dampen his zeal,and I could simply process him in when he got over his hissy-fit."

"I'll be glad to speak with him.  What was his concern by the way?"

"He's another one of those gun nuts, and he was complaining about the absence of ducks and shooting privileges, or something like that?"

"Ducks, you say?"

"Yes Sir, he claims that he'd been promised an Eternity of duck-hunting when he arrived in Heaven."

"Shooting ducks?  You mean he honestly believes that Heaven would be some place where the slaughter of those over whom he was assigned dominion while on Earth would even be tolerated?  What did you say his name was?"

"Huckleberry, or something like that?"

"Mr. uh, I believe this form says Huckabee, I'm Saint Peter, and I believe there's some sort of problem?"

"Dern tootin' your Eminence.  I was under the distinct impression that when I got to Heaven, I would be able to duck hunt whenever I wanted, and now this little halfling said I was misinformed.  I'm very upset, for as I told the NRA Membership, I was really looking forward to the day when my life ended, so that I could start duck hunting and never worry about someone else's opinion of my right to bear and use arms."

"If I may be so bold Mr. uh Huckabee, where did you get the information that Heaven would be a place where wanton slaughter would be tolerated, much less fostered?"

"The President told me so."

"Oh, him again."


"We've had a few problems with his interpretations of fact."

"Uh-oh.  What did I misunderstand and does this mean I won't be able to hunt ducks in Heaven?"

"Oh no, you'll be able to hunt all you want, it's just that there will be no ammunition in your gun."


"Well, that's not all."

"What else?"

"The ducks have ammunition in their guns." 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:50 AM EDT
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Monday, September 24, 2007
When The Lights Go On Again, All Over The World
Mood:  chatty

Frodo begins all his commentaries with a little art work.  In his time the Impressionists, the Cubists, and Modern Art are confined to buildings, while music it is that touches the mortal soul.  Frodo was reminded last night that much of this started before his chemical soup was stirred.  The first three hours of the new Ken Burns epic, "The War," spanning the run up to War through Stalingrad and Bouganville, captured the Hobbit noiselessly before the black-and-white.

As "The Ballou Letter" set the tone for Frodo's first introduction to the artist Ken Burns, the little towns in California, Minnesota, Connecticut and Alabama brought the deaths of somewhere between "50 and 60 million people" into relative comprehension.  The fact that fewer than half-a-million of those deaths were American, and that this nation suffered relatively less than did any of the other combatants, gave great pause to one who would contemplate this human disaster.  Frodo was taken by the dramatic photographs, the movies not seen before, and the lucidity of those who were able to capture what "it" was like.

Above all else, Frodo listened to the music.  Although thematic throughout, there were two songs that Burns used to capture the mood of the time.  Frodo must admit that he did not recognize one of the songs, but that did not lessen his enjoyment.  The other, well, what can anyone, least of all Frodo, say about "White Christmas?"  Burns interspersed the genius of Irving Berlin and the gifts of Bing Crosby with still photographs of bearded boys, who would not know Christmas at home for many, many days, if at all, especially not in 1942.

Frodo's father would miss the Christmases of 1943, 1944, and 1945.  He must have been very cold and lonely.  78 RPM records remained in closets and drawers throughout Frodo's Hobbithood, and only now does Frodo understand why. 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:10 AM EDT
Updated: Tuesday, September 25, 2007 2:53 PM EDT
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Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Gonna Find Out, In The Long Run
Mood:  down
Topic: "Three Votes Short" (3)

Not long ago, a neighbor of George W. Bush, the current resident of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW, Washington, DC, was killed in Iraq.  The young man was buried just across the Potomac River at the Arlington National Cemetery, in Arlington, Virginia.  Frodo could make a significant comment or two about the fact that it might have been "prudent" for Bush to have attended the services or the funeral, since they were both held within a mile of his residence.  Let us leave that point for another time, in order to comment on the fact that the young man was denied his constitutional rights, and that nobody seems to care.

By a vote of 57-42, the United States Senate decided not to address the issue of voting rights for residents of the District of Columbia.  This effectively killed the proposal for the foreseeable future.  Frodo notes, at the outset, that both Senators Robert Byrd (D-WV) and Max Baucus (D-MT) voted with the Republicans to deny the plan to add a House Seat in both the District of Columbia and in the State of Utah.  Frodo, in this instance, holds these two Senators in the same contemptuous cesspool as that in which the  Republicans reside, on a full-time basis.

The arguments are long-winded and pithy.  Since the Constitution uses the word "States," that means to some that an Amendment would be required in order to allow residents of the District of Columbia to elect a voting member of the House of Representatives.  To others, the predominantly Democratic District of Columbia may then be entitled to two United States Senators, an obvious potential shift in Congressional power.  Still others feel that it was the intent of the Founding Fathers to keep the District of Columbia separate from the States, since it was the center of the federal republic.

Not one of the 42 pointed out the fact that the District of Columbia is more than 80% black.

All political arguments aside, Frodo finds it hard to believe that in a land so verbally concerned with human rights, dignity, and the power of government, that the central issue of argument does not dominate.  Dear reader, the young man mentioned above, not unlike many others, fought, and he died, for all of us; yet, we, all of us, decided that he didn't deserve the right to vote for his own Member of Congress.  That decision includes the entire State of Georgia, since both Senators (Chambliss and Isakson) decided that young man did not deserve the same rights as those of Sam and Frodo.  And you, dear reader.   How did your Senator vote?  Does he or she "support our troops?"

If three more United States Senators had joined Orrin Hatch (R-UT) or Joe Liebermann (?-CT), the last vestige of voting rights denied by law would have ended in this great land.  

Tonight Frodo heard that the most recent poll numbers reflect an approval rating of 11% for the Congress of the United States.  Frodo wonders how it ever got so high? 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:43 PM EDT
Updated: Wednesday, September 19, 2007 10:45 PM EDT
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Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Honeycomb Won't You Be My Baby
Mood:  smelly
Topic: "Caterpillar Quandry" (3)

Frodo's penchant for wildflowers has been frequently documented.  It may have started when he became aware of the fact that certain wildflowers were targeted by certain butterflies, and that he could manage the presence of butterflies in the gardens of the Shire.  "Passion flowers" are a particular favorite of the Hobbit, and the bright orange "Frittalaria" are the butterflies that flock to this year's record production of the purple and white flowers.  A cacophony of color and movement needs only a little background music to produce something almostly reminiscently psychedelic in the afternoon sunshine.

Moments like this give rise to questions so far unanswered.  What happens to butterflies in the winter?  Frodo is cognizant of the fact that caterpillars now munching on the passion flower leaves will roll up into a cigar-like construction and thereby produce a hatchling butterfly.  The butterfly will feed from the nectar produced by the the passion flowers, and then they disappear.  Monarch butterflies, we know, migrate to some place in Mexico, although it will take them four or five generations each way.  But what about Frodo's Frittalaria, or his Swallowtail?  Are they simply sunning themselves on some beach in nearby Florida?

Mr. Beau Neau, the denizen of the Shire, has taken a special interest in the fluttering movements above his head.  On more than one occasion, Sam has found a "gift" inside the dog door, and butterfly wings have been included among these trophies.  Frodo's angered gaze does not go unnoticed, and the would-be hunter turns away, seemingly offended that he would be observed doing anything so trivial.  Perhaps Frodo has taken one small step to protect the balance of nature, hopefully it will yield further charms in the gardens of the Shire in years to come.

Thoughts such as these are common when, at last, the heat breaks and the windows are left open all night long.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:51 PM EDT
Updated: Tuesday, September 18, 2007 10:52 PM EDT
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Sunday, September 16, 2007
Those Were The Days My Friend, We Thought They'd Never End
Mood:  vegas lucky
Topic: "Da Juice Is Back" (3)

Frodo loved the circus.  More than anything else it was the ladies on those flying trapeezes with tight-fitting costumes that flew through the air into the grasping arms of some gay guy from Turkey, without a net.  It was cool, and anyone today subjecting themselves to some sort of computer game without the benefit of something so very sensual might as well grab onto their own gay Turk and head for the Men's Room in the Minneapolis Airport.  They don't , in the words of Jon Stewart, "know dick."

OJ Simpson is back in the news.  How Frodo has truly missed all the cast of "Judicial Acres." Who can today believe that bi-racial prosecuting attorneys, who had their own tryst while on the job, appearing before an Oriental Judge, using white male police detectives, one of whom has since relocated to Idaho, with a defense team consisting of everyone who has ever appeared with Nancy Grace, living or dead, failed to convict a guilty man, even with DNA evidence?

How wonderful it was to be so carefree to know that the majority of all incompetents were confined to employment in the California Justice System?   Would that life were so simple now?

In the spirit of the circus, and without benefit of a net, Frodo is going to do his best to see how many of the characters in the "Trial of the Century" he can recall.  Now remember, dear reader, this is entirely from memory, so if you want to add to the list, you must do so without benefit of "Google" or any other artificial supplement.

First, there was OJ, then Johnnie Cochran, Christopher Darden, Judge Itoh (first name forgotten), Mark Fuhrman, LA County Coroner Fong (?), AC Cowlings (who drove the white Bronco), Shapiro was another defense attorney, and, of course, Kaito whatever, the space cadet who lived in OJ's garage.

Aaarrrgh!  What was the name of the other Prosecuting Attorney?  You know, the one with the hideous mole above her lip?  What about the other detective, he was bald, with a mustache?  There was another couple of Defense Attorneys, oh yeah, Allen Dershowitz, and some other guy, who always talked through his nose?

Frodo looks forward to the day when he can pay equal respect to the memory of the people who brought you that other travesty of justice; the Iraq War. 


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:19 PM EDT
Updated: Sunday, September 16, 2007 8:19 PM EDT
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