Mood:  rushed

The hummingbird feeder, for the first time in many days, doesn't need to be refilled.  It will be several hours before patches of sunshine will be warm enough for the chair, that sits empty now, to serve as a fitting point of observation for the goings-on in the Gardens of the Shire.  Ground and aerial rodents dart back-and-forth as the avian visitors compete for the seeds intended for immediate consumption and/or storage.  Although Frodo is want to tarry, Fiona and Mick, the Wonder Dog, race through the dew-laden stems of grass, leaving behind tell-tale pawprints weaving ribbons of passage in the sunlight.  There are games afoot, and cooler temperatures demand action both fast and furious.

Although there is less time available for the tasks at hand, there is greater desire to mix need with appreciation.  Colors and breezes change around every corner, and Frodo knows that there will be fewer and fewer moments such as these, and how he laments that fact.  Mick, the Wonder Dog, meets the eyes of Frodo with the challenge of the playmate, and, perhaps, of one who worships his friend.  These are grand moments to be shared, and no one wants to waste a precious second. 

"I have only just a minute, only 60 seconds in it, 

Forced upon me, can't refuse it.

Didn't  seek it, didn't choose it,

But it's up to me to use it.

I must suffer if I lose it,

Give account if I abuse it.

Just a tiny little minute,

But eternity is in it.

What are you going to do with your minute?"

---Dr. Benjamin F. Mays

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:53 AM EDT

Updated: Saturday, October 27, 2007 10:55 AM EDT

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Mood:  on fire

Air Force One will take off for the West Coast immediately after George W. Bush finishes his breakfast ("Fruit Loops" and  Texas Toast) and morning exercise regimen (one-half hour on a stationary bicycle) (why would you be surprised ?).  On the flight to California he will receive the Daily Intelligence Briefing by satellite telephone from the Director of the CIA.  The Secretary of State will appear on the closed-circuit television, presumably to exhibit the new shoes she purchased for her upcoming trip to Myanmar.  The Secretary of the Department of Homeland Insecurity will then personally brief Mr. Bush and the Chairman of the Republican National Committee on the number of registered Republicans and Independents requiring Federal Disaster Assistance.  Mr. Bush will then take a brief nap.

Following is the staff-prepared plan for the whirlwind visit:

There will be no photographs of Mr. Bush looking out of the windows of the airplane at any point. 

Prior to landing in Los Angeles, Mr. Bush will meet with the staff from Faux News and Bill Orally.  The "team representative" from all other media will receive hand-outs from the cute little honey who replaced Tony Snow.  What is her name, anyway?

On the Tarmac Mr. Bush will speak briefly to the people of California before a helicopter flight over the fire damage in wealthy Orange County.  After landing and while walking through the rubble of the pool house outside the Malibu residence of Travis Tritt, Mr. Bush will speak briefly to the African-American housecleaner.  At this point, staff should ensure that Mr. Bush does not accidentally refer to her as "Mammy."

Governor and Mrs. Schwarzenegger will then escort Mr. Bush in the State Humvee to the Charles Gibson Viewing Stand where Mr. Bush will speak to the California National Guard, the 101st Airborne, the Veterans of Foreign Wars, and Geraldo Rivera.  It should be noted that fires will be visible in the distance.  Should they be waning at this point, Secretary of Labor Chao (aka Mrs. Mitch McConnell) will casually pour several quarts of cologne on the flames to increase the effect for the cameras.

Mr. Bush will then take a short helicopter flight around Lake Arrowhead, north of San Diego.  News photographers will fly in a separate craft so that pictures can be taken of Mr. Bush tossing fire retardant out of the open door of the helicopter.  Note that in order to prevent any potential danger, the retardant will actiually be released over Lake Arrowhead itself.

Mr. Bush will then return to Air Force One.  He is scheduled to return to the White House next Monday, after a short vacation at the Ranch in Crawford. 

There are times when Frodo seems omniscient.     

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:59 PM EDT

Updated: Wednesday, October 24, 2007 9:03 PM EDT

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Mood:  special

In June of 1861, one of Frodo's Great-Grandfathers traveled to what was then Harper's Ferry, Virginia, in order to enlist in General Lee's Army.  Frodo has never assessed that act, or any of those subsequent, as treasonous; merely as best judgment at the time.  Frodo is keenly aware that many others, even today, disagree with him.  Feeling no pain, he merely swipes his head with regret for the deficiency in understanding.

Frodo's Great-Grandfather could not, in Frodo's opinion, have failed to step up upon "Jefferson Rock" and partake of the vista that spread itself for him on that day in that place.  Thomas Jefferson, standing on that very spot, had proclaimed this to be the grandest of all the scapes of this new land.  Despite his efforts against the nation divided, many of Frodo's Great-Grandfathers'  progeny who might also possibly stand in that spot would, in behalf of that divided nation,  someday sacrifice the ability to return.  Today, the eyes belonged to Frodo, feeling however, that his sight was shared

The dull magentas, browns, and yellows of the hardwoods, are a coverlet to the mountains, cliffs, and bridges above the shallow Shenandoah.  The life blood, which riffles on a timeless and patient flow to a faraway sea, moves at it has for years far more numerous than the multiples of a hundred known to those who have stood upon Jefferson Rock.  It looks much today as it must have looked when the boot of Mr. Jefferson formed the print that today contains all of the Hobbits' foot.  There is a sense of awe for him, and for Frodo's Great-Grandfather, and for each since who stood here and made a silent promise to return when peace was restored.  Places such as this generate such dreams, those that live beyond that which is given to a single mortal, to be shared by all who follow.

A gentle, life-giving, mist was falling when Frodo finally turned away.  Perhaps there was a message there.  Perhaps not.  Likely it is that another must come.          

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:53 PM EDT

Updated: Monday, October 22, 2007 10:35 PM EDT

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Mood:  quizzical

Willem de Vlamingh (by the way, did Frodo mention that you should now be taking notes for the test at the end of this lesson?) arrived in Australia from Holland in 1697, and promptly confronted something that the entire civilized world believed did not exist; he encountered black swans.  His discovery forced Europeans to accept the fact that an obvious and accepted belief, i.e. that all swans are white, might actually prove to be incorrect.  This realization probably did not sit well with several established religious groups at the time.

Frodo brings this up because of a new book, appropriately named "The Black Swan," and subtitled "The Impact of the Highly Improbable," written by Dr. Nassim Nicholas Taleb.  Dr. Taleb's theorem is that unlikely events seem impossible when they lie in the unknown or in the future, however, after they occur, they become a part of our readily accepted reality.  Taleb argues that our lives are the cumulative effect of a number of significant shocks that have taken place in our environment that were far different from what was planned or expected.  He uses the theory to argue that America's place in the global economy is strengthened by the fact that we have not learned to fear failure.  Rather, as entrepreneurs our collective successes have more to do with what is unplanned as opposed to what is predictable.

Frodo was struck by one of Taleb's examples, which he dubbed the "Harry Potter Phenomenon."  He merely pointed out that the authoress was, when she wrote her first book, a mother on welfare.  The unpredictable success of her product obviously changed her life, and was, therefore, a "Black Swan."  Other examples used by Dr. Taleb were the internal combustion engine; the Cuban Revolution; the personal computer; the 1990's Internet stock bubble; and World War II.  Each of these events became a "Black Swan" because of the unintended consequences which followed.

Frodo would like to introduce another "Black Swan."  George W. Bush may be the penultimate unintended consequence in the modern world.  For some, his very existence is evidence of a night of passion gone awry.  Others look upon him as a mannequin, dressed and posing, mindlessly, without an unscripted moment and, therefore, a figurehead.  Still others, it seems, regard him as a bulwark against uncontrolled and uncontrollable government.  Frodo argues that all have been confounded by what has actually taken place.  Frodo also hopes that the entrepreneurial spirit of the American people has not been diminished by the most colossal of all our failures.

Frodo will be doing his best Charles Kuralt impersonation for the next several days dear reader.  If the opportunity avails itself, and you happen across a weary traveler sipping an RC and eating a "Moon Pie" in front of an old country store, stop and sit a spell, you might meet Frodo up close and personal.  Talk about a "black Swan," you stop to fill the tank and you come face-to-face with a Hobbit. 

"Now, take out a piece of paper and number from one to ten. . ."    

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:17 PM EDT

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Mood:  rushed

Political discussions in the Shire today are all about the weather.  The "Bermuda High" which traditionally sits atop the Southeastern USA at this time of year, spiraling clockwise, pushes precipitous possibilities into the periphery, i.e. Texas (which certainly meets almost any definition of periphery).  The result being that much of the area abounding the Gardens of the Shire is as much as a foot-and-a-half behind the normal annual rainfall for this point in the year, and all of this carries over from similar readings in the prior year.  The only remotely amusing aspect is the fallout from political leaders recognizing that voters care more about rain than they do plebiscites and millage rates.

Atlanta is very visible in the cross-hairs.  As the State of Georgia considers restrictions on commercial and industrial users, beyond the total ban on outdoor watering for residential use, water experts around the nation are shocked by the dire consequences which restrictions place on Metro Atlanta.  Mr. Don Wilhite, who founded the National Drought Mitigation Center at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, is quoted as saying "Most large metropolitan areas have systems in place where they try to be better managers of the resource than (Georgia). . ."

Zing.  And those are pretty strong words emanating from a University with a losing football team. 

Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue (who bears an uncanny likeness to "Curly" of the "Three Stooges") has his political shoes on, and is dancing his best to convince voters that this is neither his fault, nor his responsibility.  Sonny, it seems, is being mentioned by many of the Midgets contending for the Republican Party Presidential nod as a potential Veep nominee.  The back door to the Governor's Mansion on West Paces Ferry road is aswing with advisors at all levels; all in the effort to keep Sonny on the short list.

Frodo's grim countenance on this bleak day was brightened by the appearance of a familiar face exiting from the Governor's Mansion.

Donald Rumsfeld.  Now that's the kind of advice Sonny really needs.  Frodo wonders where Ambassador Bremer is?  Frodo would pay his expenses.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:16 PM EDT

Updated: Monday, October 15, 2007 10:18 PM EDT

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Mood:  hug me

Frodo and Sam deviate from their quest up Mount Doom to actually visit Sauron's seat of power.  On Saturday next they will watch two young people unite for their common future; it has been a long time since the Hobbits have been to a Wedding.  At this point in time, funerals are much more common.  Frodo hoped also to make time for a short visit to Bilbo's last remaining brother while in the vicinity.  However, recent events in that part of Middle Earth holds the promise of a pinkish tint when the morrow comes.

Legolas received word that his "stress test" required additional attention.  He will have bypass surgery when the sun rises. 

Gimli, after discussions with multiple specialists, has been found to have committed such a crime against one, James Parkinson, that he has been infected with a "Disease" named after the offended party.

Bilbo's brother, wounded in the first two hours of fighting on the beach at Okinawa when he was but an 18 year-old Marine, underwent triple bypass surgery and rests in a Coronary Care Unit as Frodo pens these lines.

Bilbo has had treatments to deaden the nerve endings in the back, so that sleep can return to the cycle of days and nights again.

There is, to life, an unpredictable aspect which assures only that, after good times, bad will follow.  It is not as if Frodo has been unaware that a "bad moon" may be on the rise.  Frodo does not have either the time or the inclination to lament the challenges placed before him; he knows that much depends on him and it is what he expected when he took up the task to destroy the Ring.

Little Georgia, the inhabitant of the Shire to whom every day has been Christmas, will suffer no more beyond the morrow.  The task of "dominion" is both judgmental and compassionate.  Frodo and Sam will long remember the courage of a chihuahua mix, blind in one eye, partially deaf, with heartworms, who added her bark to the pack.  She will have an honored spot in the Gardens of the Shire.  She deserves no less.

It will be nice when Frodo can stop fouling off curve balls, and return a fast ball past the ear of Fate directly over the center-field wall.   

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 7:58 PM EDT

Updated: Sunday, October 14, 2007 8:00 PM EDT

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Mood:  spacey

The Men of Gondor gathered again to share chicken cooked in a clay oven and the breadlike creation which provides basic sustenance for over a tenth of all the population of Middle Earth.  The chicken wasn't much to rave about thought Frodo, but this Nanna stuff is pretty good.  A little apple butter and he would have a whole new appreciation for that part of the world that seems to answer all his telephone calls anymore.  From there it was but a short jaunt to little Oglethorpe where, Frodo joked, he could enjoy an afternoon with "Mothra" and "Godzilla."  Frodo feigned shock to find out that "Rodan" was actually some short, little Belgian guy who made statues out of hands and heads. 

In truth, Rodin was a musician for his age.  In times such as these, where art is music and music is art, the work of Rodin represents the art that is no longer present in the Hobbit culture.  Although there are many who sculpt and paint, the only terminology for this age is "Rock and Roll."  It is, to Frodo, a matter of focus.  Witness the words of a prophet which, if you will, are written on a subway wall.

George Carlin has said that Americans prefer to focus on the sideshows and to ignore the big picture.  "People have lost interest in governing themselves," he observed, "for the sake of gizmos and toys.  They sold out for Jet Skis and cellphones and Salad Shooters and leaf blowers.  It is just a shame, for it will be the ruin of this country.  It is fun to watch however." 

Anna Nicole Smith is back in the news.  That, Frodo supposes, is the point made by Prophet Carlin.  That, and that none of Mitt Romney's five sons have yet signed up for a tour in the US Military.  And the beat goes on, probably with an air guitar accompaniment. 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 11:13 AM EDT

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Mood:  silly

In the spirit of non-partisan good government, Frodo has written a letter to the General Services Administration suggesting that the George W. Bush Presidential Library be located within the confines of the United States Embassy in Baghdad.  Most people know that this edifice, when completed, will be the largest, most expensive, such building in all the world.  Would it not be fitting, Frodo argued, that the location of the war of longest duration, and least consequence, in American History should contain a memorial to poor research and historical ignorance?  The possibilities for documenting the folly of war merit serious consideration of Frodo's proposal.

The Richard Cheney Memorial Storm Cellar would make future generations forever immune to references of "Dugout Doug" MacArthur of World War II genre.  Cheney was assigned to underground duty while the Incomparable Moron flitted from elementary schools to Shreveport on September 11th.  Afterwards, Cheney was rarely observed doing anything in, or for, the public.

The Larry Craig Restroom Stalls would have doors that swing both ways.  This action would serve as an ever-mindful warning for clandestine raconteurs that it takes more than a wide stance to repel an insurgency.

The Alberto Gonzales Telecommunications Center would symbolize the totality of information gathered in the national defense during times of crisis.  By simply pushing a button, any national defense operative could obtain access to any portion of the former Attorney General's testimony before the Congress of the United States, translated into any one of more than 235 languages, and 114 dialects thereof.  "I don't recall" is particularly appealing in Hawaiian, at least it is to Frodo.

Then, of course the mind boggles at all the other reminders of this grandifluorous time in world history, there are the books and records themselves, all gathered and maintained in mint condition.  Every document that was published for any purpose whatsoever during the simply unforgettable Bush White House years.  Yes, dear reader, the absolutely pristine, untouched by human hand, information which could have guided our national goals to new heights is now available to you for only $19.95 plus shipping & handling.  If you choose to visit the library itself, you will be able to research any of the non-classified items in the area known as Barney's Reading Room.  

Be sure to look for the autographed copy of "My Pet Goat."   You're paying for it you know, big time. 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:57 PM EDT

Updated: Wednesday, October 10, 2007 8:59 PM EDT

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Mood:  cool

Frodo thinks a lot about pencils and paper, typewriters and ribbons, mimeograph machines and all those things that have technologically advanced the written word.  It may have taken days for the earliest scribes to express a single syllable, as it certainly took years for Monks to transcribe words like "In the beginning. . ."  Now, Frodo advances and retreats, corrects and amends as he sees fit, in an instant.  Whether or not he accomplishes anything will be left to those who someday look at the characterizations of thought from an entirely different paradigm.

Frodo has a hand written letter, in pencil, written on brown paper, that was mailed, free of charge, from an uncle he never knew to Frodo's father.  That same uncle once graced the cover of LIFE magazine, standing guard in heavy winter clothing, rifle on his shoulder, on the steps of the US Capitol, during a time of War.  It is a very famous photograph. 

His duty prevented him from attending his sister's wedding to Frodo's father, a man for whom he had great affection; for he was already in England when Frodo's father married Bilbo on October 5th, 1943.  When Frodo's father followed him across the sea, he promised Bilbo that he would find her brother and perhaps they could take care of one another.  It was a thought that soothed Bilbo's darkest fears.

How two soldiers, among millions of men far from home, were able to find one another as their respective outfits moved in parallel footsteps is a mystery to Frodo.  But it happened, and the two friends now had the capacity to write each other directly, sharing thoughts that could not be comprehended by those who watched and waited for their return.  

In the Fall of 1944, Frodo's uncle wrote the letter that Frodo now holds.  His outfit, as opposed to that of Frodo's father, was in the thick of Hell itself.  He did not have much time for school back home, so many of his words are not properly constructed or implemented, but they are direct and troublesome.  Pencil marks do not wear well, and over time the writing is not only onerous, but it is fading.  Not all of the words are easily discernible, but "horrible" and "hope you don't see anything like this" come through as if the pencil has just been lifted from the paper.  These may have been the last of his words.

Frodo's father knew what had happened before the telegram reached the family home.  "Crossing the Saar River" is permanently etched in Frodo's memory to this day.  Frodo's father was able to, once again, find those who had served with Frodo's uncle, and they told him how he had died.  Frodo's father never told anyone else, including Frodo, what he learned.

All Frodo has is the letter.  Would that, someday, something that Frodo writes will be as eloquent, as simple, and so meaningful.            

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:35 PM EDT

Updated: Tuesday, October 9, 2007 8:37 PM EDT

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Mood:  mischievious

Former Mexican President Vicente Fox should be the next guest of Chris Matthews on HARDBALL.  Having released his new book, "Revolution of Hope," the first foreign leader to visit the Crawford Ranch after George W. Bush took office, was far from, shall we say, complimentary, to the Incomparable Moron.  Calling Bush "the cockiest guy I have ever met" who "uses grade-school Spanish" and is merely a "windshield cowboy," Fox also implies that Bush is afraid of horses.  He described Bush as someone who "struts like he's carrying a watermelon under each arm," (which compares favorably to Frodo's earlier characterization that he has a stick up his butt) and that he is not only "stubborn" but "high-handed" in his efforts to obtain support for his positions.  Most telling is the statement that (under Bush) "America stopped building bridges and started building walls."

Frodo has been imagining what might be said if certain other world leaders would someday take Microsoft Word in hand, and begin to compose their impressions of Boy George (aka Incomparable Moron).  Let us, dear reader, try these two, Putin and Musharaf (you know, "Vladimir" and "General").

"Yass, ve here in Rrussha also veal dat Gorgy is two afraid of horses.  Venn I tried to haff him take his shirt off and to compare biceps wid me, he make funny face and snicker.  I try take him two a slay ride in Yakutsk he say he not interested in seeing horse butt in his face.  I tell him just think of Chainee."

"Premier, this is Frodo Baggins."

"Yass Mr. Frudo, remembering you from Isengard, good fight it was."

"Mr. Premier, how would you describe Boy George in his dealings with you, was he 'stubborn' and 'high-handed'?"

"Mr. Frudo, Gorgy had impressions that we were businessmen negotiatink de future of de vorld, and dat between us de two of us could do anything we vanted.  He siad he could see my 'soul,' I siad he need glasses."

"Do you think History will regard him fondly?"

"Mr. Frudo, do you know what I call my new book?"

"No Sir, I do not."

"It is called 'Mr. Gorgy, Tear Down Your Own Wall."  I believe that says enough."

"Thank you Sir, and now President Musharaf, would you care to tell us how you characterize and what stands out in your memory about your relationships with Gorgy, er, Bush?"

"Tankyew veddymush Mr. Froto.  I wuzza particularly struck by how little heknew aboot the military, and that he not listened to those around him who did, like President-General Powell of the State Department.  His time flying in little aeroplanes must have made him think dat those were not peoples down there being shot at and bombed."

"Was he 'stubborn' and 'high-handed' with you?"

Musharaf, his translators, and all his aides were laughing out loud for several seconds.

"Mr. Froto, he vas afraid of me.  He vas afraid that I could give nucular veapons to Osama bin Laden.  He would have done, in the early days, anything I told him to do."

"Can you give me an example?"

"Mr Fruto, when first he sent Rumsfeld and the black woman to talk, I told him to kiss my ass.  I was speaking figuratively.  He thought I meant it."

"Sir?"

"The next time he wanted to send Larry Craig and Mark Foley."

After a pause for laughter, Frodo asked the General "And what is the title of your new book?"

"Mamas Don't Let Your Cowboys Grow Up To Be Horses' Asses."

Frodo sees a bright future for the publishing business. 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 5:19 PM EDT

Updated: Saturday, October 6, 2007 5:25 PM EDT

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