Mood: on fire
Topic: "Frodo Op" (5)
"You do what you say you're going to do, that's the example you set," so said the firebrand Frodo. "After all," he continued, "the entire premise has been 'transparency,' so that all the Citizens of Middle Earth will be able to see and hear the truth; so that they can be informed as well as wise."
"Mr. Frodo, there are an awful lot of people who think that the President is acting wisely, even if he is changing his mind. After all. . ."
"What are you saying?," screamed Frodo, "How can anyone argue that a bunch of stupid pictures are a threat to anyone else?"
"Well Mr. Frodo, our soldiers overseas. . ."
"Our soldiers? You moron," said the usually taciturn Hobbit, "the only danger pictures present are self-inflicted wounds to very lonely enlisted men, and women too, I guess."
"Sir, are you saying. . ."
"I'm saying that releasing all of the photographs will allow everyone to judge for themselves," said the red-faced hero of Mount Doom. "A silicon-additive to a rather plain exterior worked with Pamela Anderson, but for Carrie Prejean, the product is neither offensive nor titillating. The President should release all of the pictures."
"Uh, Sir, I think you. . ."
"You can think anything you want," spoke the crusading liberal, "but the only way to maintain the public trust is to keep your commitments. The loss of a single beauty pageant title is no reason to give the opposition an avenue of attack against the new Administration."
"This has nothing to do with Miss USA. . ."
"That's correct, it is a much more important issue," proffered the jurisprudent one, "going back to the Supreme Court definition of obscenity. . ."
"Sir, it is about Abu Ghraib!"
Just then a familiar refrain is heard by all those witnessing the dialogue between Frodo and Sir Robert of Gibbs, it went "Da-da-da-dot-dot-dotta-dot-dot-dot," and Frodo spoke. "Excuse me, that's my cell."
"Yo Merry, can I get back with you? I'm here with. . .Oh, you know that?. . .You're watching us now, you say."
A pregnant pause ensues.
"Gotcha, the pictures they're talking about aren't the nude photos of Miss California USA, but of a bunch of "Madrassah Monties" being abused by military personnel as well as mercenaries from the Land of Cheney. I see. Thanks, Merry. Back atcha."
"Never mind," said Frodo to the embattled Sir Robert of Gibbs, "but in case you hadn't noticed, my cellphone plays 'Dixie'."
Gibbs' cellphone rang. "Yes Sir. I'll let him know you were watching." Frodo shuffled his feet under the gaze of Helen Thomas. "Yes Sir," added Gibbs, "an excellent suggestion." He hung up and smirked.
"Mr. Frodo," said Gibbs, "the President would like you to join him on Air Force One for a flight to Phoenix." Frodo was stunned. "Yes, he thinks you deserve the honorary degree from a school that accepts 92% of all applicants for admission."
Frodo promised himself, once again, to stop taking himself so seriously.