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" Citizen Soldiers" (5)
" Putin' Out" (5)
" Thin Ice"(9)
""I Ain't Got Much" (5)
""Soft Memories" (7)
"$100, Are You Sure?" (5)
"0 Preservative Added"(2)
"105 Minute Workday"(9)
"16 Percent Factor"(3)
"176,000,000 to 1"(8)
"26 Damn Dollars"(6)
"3 Percent Turnout" (2)
"37 Come 11" (5)
"3:10 to Yuma" (7)
"50 Weeks of Reality TV"
"501 (c)(4)"
"54 Pounds" (8)
"8.8 Pounds"(6)
"A Capitol Idea" (6)
"A Code in My Node"
"A Course is a Course"(2)
"A Day At The Beach" (3)
"A Dog Named Bo" (5)
"A Hobbit of an Idea"
"A Man's Army"
"A Patriot Act" (7)
"A Patriotic Act"
"A Perfect World"
"A soldier booed?'(7)
"A Space Odyssey" (4)
"A Taxing Story" (5)
"A Thousand Campfires"(4)
"A Three Hour Tour"(8)
"A Touch of Class"(5)
"A Waisted Day" (5)
"A Woman Scorned"
"Aagh,I'll Pay,I'll Pay"
"Abe Wong, of Gondor"(5)
"Act I, Scene I" (8)
"Act I, Scene II" (8)
"Act I, Scene III" (8)
"Adjustable 2nd Card"(3)
"Adjusting Policies"
"Adjusting the Clock"(8)
"Aegean Adventure" (2)
"Ah ah ah Stayin' Alive"
"Airline Highway" (5)
"Alan Scott" (7)
"All Aboard"
"All Bets Are In" (2)
"All Charged Up"
"All Good Things" (4)
"Allah Be Praised" (5)
"Almost Heaven" (2)
"Alpha Dog"(7)
"Alright, Who Did It?"(7)
"Also Sprach Frodo" (4)
"Always Wear Gloves" (3)
"AM Radio Next?"
"America's Toilet" (6)
"American Cemetery"(8)
"An Admission"
"An Apple A Day" (7)
"An Hour A Day" (6)
"An Ugly American"(4)
"Anchorman" (6)
"And the Winner Is" (2)
"Andy Griffith Redux"
"Another Single Woman?"
"Another Three-namer"(5)
"Another Time/Place"(4)
"Anvil Throwin' Time"(8)
"Apocalypse Now?" (3)
"Aragorn" (4)
"Armored Dildos" (3)
"As Far As We Know" (2)
"Ask Ann Landers" (3)
"Assembly LineDancing"(4)
"Astronaughty" (2)
"Atlanta Times Three"
"Augmentation" (2)
"Augustus Agonistes" (5)
"Aurora Borealis" (8)
"Autumnal Observances"(2)
"Avast You Lubbers"(6)
"Baby Doctors (2)"
"Baby Fiona"(7)
"Baby Nathan Yahoo"(10)
"Back Door Basra (2)"
"Back inthe Saddle Again"
"Bad Boys, Bad Boys"
"Bad Time for Bonzo" (3)
"Balance of Nature" (3)
"Balance of Payments"(5)
"Balancing the Budget"
"Ballamer" (4)
"Bang the Drum Slowly"
"Bank Prank" (5)
"Baptists are Pussies"(7)
"Barbed Wire Escape (2)"
"Barbie Banditos" (3)
"Barely Bearble"(7)
"Barely Defensible" (2)
"Barry Me Not (2)"
"Bathroom onna Right"(3)
"Beach Music" (7)
"Because It Is Hard" (4)
"Beechwood 4-5789"(6)
"Belling the Cat" (2)
"Ben McGee" (3)
"Benny and the Jets"(5)
"Berlusconi in Love"(6)
"Best be straight Boy"(5)
"Best Day/Worst Day"(6)
"Best in the South" (5)
"Best in the World?"(5)
"Betray Us" (3)
"Bettah than Etta"(4)
"Better Man" (3)
"Better Than Pong"
"Big Time Sports" (3)
"Big Words,LittleMind"(6)
"Bilbo's Birthday (2)"
"Bilbo's Little Boy"(5)
"Bilbo's Revenge" (5)
"Bill and Hillary (2)"
"Billy World" (2)
"Bimini Babes" (3)
"Bird is the Word" (3)
"Birmingham Jail" (5)
"Birthday Baggins"
"Birthday Buddies" (7)
"Birthday Memory" (4)
"Birthin' No Babies" (3)
"Bishop to King's Castle"
"Black Friday" (2)
"Black Gold, Texas Tea"
"Black Hole Blues" (4)
"Black Jack"
"Black Russians" (6)
"Black Widow" (3)
"Blackboard Jungle"
"Blame Game" (3)
"Bleached Bones" (5)
"Blitzkrieg Bellini" (2)
"Blood and Swash" (3)
"Bloopers" (5)
"Blue Christmas" (2)
"Bo's Birthday"(5)
"Bob Sikes' Cut"(9)
"Bob, Bob, Bobbit" (3)
"Bobby, not Ben"(6)
"Bon Air Bellicose" (4)
"Bon Giorno" (6)
"Bona Lisa" (5)
"Bonds-v-Skvara" (3)
"Boo Boo Poo Poo"(9)
"Boromir & Galadriel"(5)
"Bottled in Thyme"(7)
"Bottom Ten"(9)
"Bovine Stem Cells?"
"Boy, I Say Boy"
"Boycott BP"
"Breaker, Breaker" (4)
"Breakin' rules" (7)
"Breaking News" (7)
"Brer Fox (2)"
"Bridge at Andau"(11)
"Bring Back Ross" (2)
"Bring the Bowl"
"Broken News"(10)
"Brother of the Ring"
"Brownback Mountain"
"Brownie Hawkeye"
"Buckwheat Breathes" (2)
"Bumper Sticker"
"Burn Baby, Burn" (3)
"Bush in the Bullrushes"
"Bush Baby, Bush (2)"
"Bush is Chinese?" (2)
"Bush Press Conference"
"Bush-Bashers Be We (2)"
"Busman's Holiday(2)"
"Butt...Butt...Butt" (3)
"Butterflies? Sheesh!"
"Buttermilk Drops" (3)
"Buy a Subaru" (11)
"Buy Stock in America"(6)
"Cabin Fever" (5)
"Cain Not Able" (7)
"Cake in the Rain"
"Cake in the Rain"(3)
"Call Me Ishmael" (3)
"Callista, an Albino?"(7)
"Camp Pleasant" (2)
"Can She Name Them?(2)"
"Can You Hear Me Now?"
"Canaan Conspiracy"(6)
"Candygram" (4)
"Captive Audience"(6)
"Caramel or Carmel?"(3)
"Carolina Cougar(2)"
"Carolina Curmudgeon" (5)
"Cartoon Characters" (3)
"Case of Packy Stann"(3)
"Cash crash crashed?"(5)
"Cat Fight" (5)
"Caterpillar Quandry" (3)
"Causal Relationships"(9)
"Cause It's One, (2)"
"Ceramic s"
"Ch-ch-changin'" (4)
"Change a'comin" (5)
"Change is Good" (5)
"Change?" (3)
"Changin' Channels" (2)
"Chapter 13"
"Chariots of Fire"
"Chariots' a' Comin'"(4)
"Chassahowitzka" (2)
"Chauncey Gardner"(7)
"Chemical Alley" (6)
"Cheney of Fools" (2)
"Cherem" (3)
"Chew my Gazebo, Willya?"
"Chief Noc-a-Homa" (3)
"Chingachgook Lives"
"Chipmonkeys Alert (2)"
"Chipper" (6)
"Christian Balls"(10)
"Christian the Lion"(4)
"Christian Valuelessness"
"Christmas Communique"(3)
"Christmas, 1936" (2)
"Chutzpah Hooters" (4)
"Cilled a Bar?" (3)
"Cindy, oh Cindy"(4)
"Citizen Soldiers" (2)
"Clark and Lois (2)"
"Classified Ads are Cool"
"Claymore Gregg" (3)
"Clean Machine" (2)
"Clean up in Aisle 4!"(4)
"Climb It Chains" (8)
"Clinton Cuts" (7)
"Clone Chipper,Please"(4)
"Cockatiel Lounge" (2)
"College of the Shire"(6)
"Combat Kelly (2)"
"Come On Baby"(8)
"Come on Down" (3)
"Comin' Clean" (5)
"Comin' Home" (3)
"Commencement (2)"
"Comparables" (6)
"Condi for President" (3)
"Cone of Silence" (4)
"Conflagration" (3)
"Confusion Reigns"(10)
"Congress Goes to War (2)
"Congress' Schmidthead"
"Conspiracy Theory" (4)
"Copy Cat Chinese" (5)
"Country Roads" (7)
"Crawford Convention" (2)
"Crikey" (2)
"Crime and Punishment(2)"
"Crotch Rocket Delite"(4)
"Cult of the Wild"(7)
"Curious, George?"
"Currahee" (5)
"Da Juice Is Back" (3)
"Dad" (5)
"Damages Done (2)"
"Damn Close" (4)
"Damn It To Hell" (5)
"Damn Lies" (7)
"Dandy Dale" (7)
"Danger Will Robinson"(5)
"Danger,Will Robinson"(8)
"Darth Dick" (5)
"Darwin's Company" (4)
"Das Boot"
"Das Ende" (6)
"Date With David" (2)
"Day of Infamy" (4)
"Day-O, Me Wan Go"(7)
"De Tar-Ball Baby" (6)
"Dead Honkey"
"Dearest Bilbo"
"Debits on the Left?" (2)
"Decisions, Decisions"(6)
"Deep and Dark" (5)
"Deep Shiite" (3)
"Degree of Separation"(6)
"Deja 1958 Over Again"
"Deja Who?"(7)
"Delano" (4)
"Diazinon Ditties (2)"
"Dick Clark Top 10(2)"
"Dimmer Switch" (6)
"Dirty Copter" (4)
"Do They Like Kool Aid?"
"Doctor, Mr. MD"(9)
"Dodged a Bullet"(7)
"Dogmobile" (3)
"Dogs Rule"
"Doing the Right Thing"
"Don't Cut My DSL" (5)
"Don't Feed the Animals"
"Dont Touch That Dial"(6)
"Doofus" (9)
"Doohan's Delight" (3)
"Doris Miller" (6)
"Dorothy Rose" (4)
"Double Deal" (6)
"Doubting Thomases" (3)
"Doug Williams"(4)
"Dover" (4)
"Down Below Back Home"(4)
"Downtown Cardinals"(9)
"Dr. Phil" (5)
"Dubai-Bye" (3)
"Dueling Banjos" (3)
"Dumb and Dumber" (3)
"Dumb As We Wanna Be"(3)
"Dumber Than Dirt" (3)
"Dumbest Politico (2)"
"Eager Uighurs" (4)
"Early Admission" (8)
"Eight Nine Four" (4)
"Elect Jeff Jackson"(10)
"Elizabeth I" (5)
"Emily Latella Lives"
"Emperor's Clothes" (2)
"End of the Line"
"Ending Sams Patience"(7)
"Engine Uprisin'" (4)
"Ensign Pulver"(5)
"EOTUS" (5)
"Equinox Approaching"(10)
"Equinoxious" (4)
"Escalator Escalatin'"(5)
"ESP" (6)
"Etchings, Anyone?"(5)
"Ethel Merman Lives"
"Eve, It's Oil!"
"Evenin' Govnah" (6)
"Everyday Miracles"
"Evil Thoughts" (3)
"Eye Opener" (3)
"Eyes of a Gorilla"
"Fair is Fare"(7)
"Falcon" (8)
"Fall Ball" (3)
"Fallin' Behind"(11)
"Falling Apart" (9)
"Fargo Felines" (5)
"Fashionable Frodo" (5)
"Father Ed" (3)
"Faux les Bas" (2)
"Female Insurgency (2)"
"Ferengi or Ferangi?" (3)
"Fergit? Hell No!"
"Film at 11"
"Findin' William"(11)"
"Firing US Attorneys" (3)
"First Freeze" (6)
"First Learn to Lose"
"First National Bank" (5)
"First Sentence" (8)
"Five Easy Pieces" (4)
"Float Yer Boat" (4)
"Flower Power (2)"
"Foe Years Old" (4)
"Follow the Money"
"Followin' Ava" (4)
"For More Years" (3)
"Forbidden Fruit"
"Fords and Dads" (2)
"Foreclosure Follies" (7)
"Foreclosure Notice" (6)
"Forest Primeval"(8)
"Form 666" (3)
"Forms For Everything"(6)
"Foundling Fathers"(7)
"Fourteen Years Ago?"(5)
"Fox Views" (3)
"Frack You" (7)
"Frances Died Today"(7)
"Fred's Dead Head" (3)
"Free at Last"
"Free Hidden Telecast"(4)
"Freedom? Hell No" (3)
"Friend by Your Side" (3)
"Friend by your Side" (4)
"Friendly Persuasion" (5)
"Friends of Bill" (7)
"Frist Friends"
"Frodo and Housman" (2)
"Frodo and Jesus"
"Frodo and Revere?"(7)
"Frodo And Truckers (2)"
"Frodo Dissents" (6)
"Frodo Not Foggo (2)"
"Frodo of Arabia(2)"
"Frodo Op" (5)
"Frodo Regrets"
"Frodo Study Group" (2)
"Frodo visits Bilbo"
"Frodo's Almanac"(9)
"Frodo's Bad Day"
"Frodo's Book Club"(5)
"Frodo's Dilemma" (3)
"Frodo's Faux Pas" (3)
"Frodo's Final Four" (3)
"Frodo's Foreign Policy"
"Frodo's Hall of Fame"(4)
"Frodo's Newer Friend"(6)
"Frodo's Retirement"(8)
"Frodo's Revenge"
"Frodo's Revenge"(7)
"Frodo's Solutions" (6)
"Frodo's Xmas Story"(6)
"Frodo, James Frodo" (3)
"Furriners" (4)
"Gainful Employment" (3)
"Galadriel Is No More"(3)
"Gandalf's Challenge (2)"
"Garland Duesenberry" (2)
"Gas Guzzler A-Go-Go"
"Gasp, Wheeze (2)"
"Gay Faux Holes" (5)
"Genarlow de Chariot" (3)
"Genesis Ignored" (3)
"Geneva Accords Redux"
"Geography Lesson" (3)
"George to the Rescue"(3)
"Georgia on my Mind"(3)
"Getting Your Wish" (3)
"Gidget Goes Gondor"(7)
"Gimme Head With Hair"(3)
"Girls Night Out" (6)
"Give 'em Hell, Tom" (5)
"Give Heath a Chance (2)"
"Give Us Your Tired. . ."
"Giving Way to Anger" (2)
"Glenn Frey"(11)
"Glory Days"
"Goin' Home" (3)
"Gondor Goodfellas"(9)
"Gondor Gravitas" (3)
"Good Cop" (7)
"Good Day America" (6)
"Good Friday It Was"(9)
"Good Friday, Maybe"(11)
"Good Ol Mountain Dew"(5)
"Good Son"
"Goodbye Kids (2)"
"Goodbye, Ethan" (2)
"Goodman is Hard to Find"
"Goose Again"
"GOP Convention" (3)
"Gotta Have a Home (2)"
"Grading on a Curve"
"Graffiti Government" (2)
"Great American Hero"
"Great American Hero" (2)
"Greatest Duet Ever"(6)
"Greed is Good"(5)
"Greetings" (8)
"Grissom not Gruesome"(4)
"Groupies for Edwards"(4)
"Guess We Forgot?"(8)
"Guest Workers (2)"
"Guns of August" (7)
"Guts of August" (3)
"Gwinnett Again?" (3)
"Halo, 1,2,3?" (3)
"Ham I Am" (3)
"Handi-Wipes" (3)
"Hang 'em High" (2)
"Hanky Time, Ladies"
"Happens in Threes"(5)
"Happy Anniversary"(9)
"Happy Mardi Gras"(2)
"Harpo Speaks"
"Harry" (2)
"Harry's Bar-Venice" (2)
"Hawkeye, Redux"(7)
"Haz Mat" (3)
"He Ate the Olive!"(7)
"He is deeply missed (2)"
"He Picks Up Poop?" (5)
"He Took De Bait" (8)
"He's 'Little Ricky'?"(7)
"Healthcare for Frodo"(5)
"Heart Soar Like Hawk"(5)
"Heck of an Engineer"(7)
"Hedge Fund Hippies" (3)
"Heeeerrre's Frodo" (3)
"Heeere's Johnny" (6)
"Heeerrrre's Frodo" (3)
"Hello, Mr. Wilson" (5)
"Hello? Central?" (3)
"Help Wanted"
"Helping Frodo" (4)
"Here Come da Judge" (2)
"Here Come da Judge" (6)
"Here Kitty-Kitty" (4)
"Here Kitty-kitty"(5)
"Here's Help, Now Leave"
"Here's Your Watch" (3)
"Hi Jinx" (5)
"Hide Anythin' Edible"(5)
"High Chair" (2)
"Hobbits And a Truck"(4)
"Hold On Romo" (2)
"Hold the Malaise" (4)
"Honey Dew List"(9)
"Hopalong Frodo"(9)
"Horn of Africa (2)"
"Horse Latitudes" (6)
"Horsehockey" (3)
"Hosea Can You See" (3)
"Hosea Can You See?" (3)
"Hot Tamale" (3)
"Hotel Plimhimmon"(9)
"HOV or DOA?" (3)
"How Dogs Love Us" (10)
"How Many Delegates?"
"How Many Delegates?" (3)
"How Now Broun Cow"(8)
"Hraka" (4)
"Huckleberry Hound" (3)
"Hund Scheisse CSI" (5)
"Hungarian Answer" (4)
"I Believe in Music (2)"
"I can hope, can't I?"(9)
"I Could Cry" (2)
"I Inspired You?"
"I say it's Spinach. . ."
"I'll Get Back to You"(3)
"I'll Huff and Puff" (4)
"I'll Take a Vowel"
"I'm Baaack" (2)
"I'mSo In LoveWithYou"(7)
"Ides of March Again" (4)
"Ides of Texas" (6)
"IED's in Congress" (2)
"If Frodo Ran The DHS"(5)
"If It Ain't OneThing"(5)
"If the truth be told"(6)
"If You Remember,Then"(6)
"If" (6)
"Imagine,General Newt"(6)
"Imitation of Life" (5)
"Immigration Reform (2)"
"In a Galaxy Far Away(2)"
"In a Pig's Eye" (4)
"In Dog We Trust" (10)
"In the Beginning"
"In the Beginning" (3)
"Incomparable Moron" (4)
"Indoor Toilets Rule" (4)
"Intersex Village" (2)
"Interstate Parking (2)"
"Ion Propulsion"(7)
"Iran's Tom Hayden"
"Irish Spring"(3)
"Is it in the Water?"
"Is That in America?" (2)
"Is You da One,Jimmy?"(3)
"Islamic Fundamentals"(8)
"Isn't Amnesty Good?"(3)
"Isn't Change Good?"(6)
"It's A Trap" (6)
"It's Just a Movie"
"It's Just Business"
"Ja, Wir Konnen."
"Jack Crabb" (10)
"Jambo Jumbo" (3)
"Japanese Movie?" (3)
"Je suis Frodo"(10)
"Jefferson Rock" (3)
"Jes' the facts Ma'am"(4)
"Jim Crow" (5)
"Joad Family Reunion?"(6)
"Joad Jobs" (4)
"Joe Soptic" (8)
"Jonestown Redux" (3)
"Jose and Claudia" (4)
"Joshua Generation" (3)
"Just Another Day" (3)
"Just Clearin' Brush"(3)
"Just Desserts (2)"
"Just Desserts" (7)
"Just Say 'Nyet'"(7)
"Just to CU Smile" (5)
"Kandy Kakes 2"
"Ken Meets Jack"
"Key Word Apology" (6)
"Killer's Geraldine" (4)
"Kilowatts Per Mile" (6)
"Kiribati Republic"(6)
"Kirk Saves Nemo"
"Kiss a Girl Goodbye"(2)
"Knew You Not Pompey?"(3)
"Kodak Moment" (2)
"Kool Sailboat" (4)
"Korea, Korea" (2)
"Kudlow's Kreeps"(4)
"Lady of Rohan" (3)
"Land Ho"(8)
"Lean and Hungry " (2)
"Leeward, I Say, Leeward"
"Legs Diamond" (3)
"Legs" (3)
"Leslie" (4)
"Lessons Learned" (2)
"Let Them Eat Cake"
"Let's Bake Cookies" (3)
"Let's Play A Game" (6)
"Letter Home" (6)
"Letter to Lou" (4)
"Liberal Lament" (40)
"Lief, Leaf, or Loaf"(8)
"Life In A Red State"
"Lights of Chicago"
"Like a Barack" (2)
"Limbaugh Hero"(7)
"Lime Bandits" (3)
"Lime is on my side" (6)
"Limestone Cowboys" (3)
"Lip Smackin' Good?"(6)
"Little Big Horn (2)"
"Little Houdini" (5)
"Little Sky"
"Littlest Angel" (2)
"Livin' is Easy?"(7)
"Loans and Deposits" (4)
"Lois, I Never Lie"(8)
"Lonely Avenue" (3)
"Lonesome Frodo" (3)
"Look away Dixieland"(6)
"Look for da Union Label"
"Look Who's Talkin'" (2)
"Lookin' Back, Texas" (3)
"Lost Weekend"(8)
"Low Water, Slow Flow"(3)
"Lox? Or Locks?" (7)
"Lunatic Cattle Call"(8)
"M-G-M Material"
"Ma Bell is Baaack" (3)
"Ma Bell Lives" (7)
"Macaca, Your Macaca" (2)
"Mad Dogs&Englishmen"(6)
"Made You Look" (6)
"Magic Fridge (2)"
"Magic Moments"(7)
"Make Jobs, Not War"(7)
"MaMa's Little Babies"(3)
"Man For All Seasons" (2)
"Man of the Century"
"Man Up, Harry"(6)
"Man's Best Friend?"
"Many happy returns"
"March Forth" (8)
"Marking Time" (3)
"Martyr Magic" (2)
"Marvelous Mac"(8)
"Mary Lee & Genie"(8)
"Master of None" (8)
"May Day, Comrade"(7)
"Maynard G. Krebs" (7)
"Medal of Honor" (6)
"Media is the Message(2)"
"Media Reporting" (6)
"Mental Healthcare" (4)
"Michelle, my Belle"(7)
"Mick's Day"(8)
"Mickey and Me"(6)
"MidSummer Nights Dream"(7)
"Mikileaks" (6)
"Missionary Position" (3)
"Missionary Position" (7)
"Mississipp' Sippin'"(2)
"Mister Roberts" (8)
"Moamar:The Movie"(7)
"Mohair Sam" (5)
"Mon Petit Shoe"(4)
"Monkeys in Mississippi"
"Moody Blue"(7)
"Moody" (7)
"Mooman" (3)
"Moon Over Miami"(4)
"Mooosic" (5)
"Moovin' On Up" (2)
"Mordor or Antarctica?"
"More Than Some" (4)
"Moultrie Poultry" (3)
"Mount Mulch" (2)
"Movin' On Up" (2)
"Mr. Toad's Motorcar (2)"
"Mumbai, My Lord" (4)
"Murtha For President(2)"
"N. Leroy" (7)
"Name That Tune"(4)
"Nascaroil" (4)
"Nat King Cole Sucks"(5)
"NCAA---Blech!" (7)
"Nein, nein, nein"(7)
"Never Doubt Bilbo"
"Never heard of him"
"New Life, Old Leaves"(4)
"Newest Friend"(8)
"Newman's Own" (4)
"Newt/Mitt '12" (3)
"Next Case" (6)
"Next Door Neighbors" (3)
"NFL Commissioner (2)"
"NFL Trade" (3)
"Nielsen Ratings" (2)
"Nine Months PG" (7)
"Nixon Agonistes" (3)
"No Faux News?" (3)
"No Googling Allowed"(4)
"No Humor Today"
"No Peanut Left Behind"
"No Sale" (3)
"No, Not Russian" (4)
"No-No, No" (3)
"Nobody Even Asked"(8)
"Noo Yawk Stateamind"(2)
"Not a Bang,a Whimper"(7)
"Not Funny, Dr Jones"(5)
"Not North Carolina" (6)
"Not Percy Sledge?" (3)
"Not Percy Sledge?"(3)
"Number One" (3)
"Number Please?"(7)
"Number, Please"(8)
"Numbers Don't Lie" (3)
"Numbers Racket" (4)
"Obama Doctrine" (5)
"Obama's Generals"(5)
"October Dreamin'" (4)
"Ode to an Athlete (2)"
"Ogal Preston Crews (2)"
"Oh Kenny Boy (2)"
"Oh the possibilities"(8)
"Oh Ye White Whale" (3)
"Oh, Sadaharu" (2)
"OK Baptist Chorale" (4)
"Old McDonnell's Farm"(7)
"Old Time Baseball"(9)
"Old Times Topic" (6)
"Olympic Changes" (4)
"On Her Code?" (4)
"On Vacation, I'm Sure"
"One Act Play"
"One Down, More Comin'"
"One For the Good Guys"
"One More Round" (4)
"One Orbit of the Sun"(2)
"Only 434 More to Go" (2)
"Opportunity Sox" (3)
"Or the Yellow Peril?"(6)
"Osama Can You See?" (2)
"Our God Is Better" (3)
"Our Town" (5)
"Our Town" (8)
"Out Damned Spot (2)"
"Out of Kilter" (5)
"Out of the Ashes" (4)
"Overdue Books" (3)
"Pace Car" (3)
"Painted Toenails?"(4)
"Panic Attack"(10)
"Pants on Fire"
"Parade of Horribles"(4)
"Part Two" (5)
"Pass the Malais" (4)
"Passion Flowers" (5)
"Past is Prologue" (3)
"Pat bin Laden"
"Patsy for America"
"Peaceful Easy Feelin"(3)
"Peacetakescourage" (3)
"Permanent Vacation" (5)
"Persons of the Year"
"Philadelphia Bunnyface?"
"Philosopher Kings" (4)
"Pickled Cabbage?"
"Picture of Frodo"(5)
"Pilot Wales" (2)
"Pirate Booty"
"Pit Bull Revenge"(4)
"Pius Baloney I" (7)
"Place of Good Abode" (3)
"Plaque 42W, Line 12"
"Play It Again, Sam"
"Play Melancholy Baby"
"Play the Frodo Game"(6)
"Playin' Possum" (3)
"Poland Parole Patrol"(5)
"Polish or Polish?"
"Poll Results Just In"
"Poly Sci 101"(9)
"Poor People"
"Pope for a Day" (10)
"Pope-a-Dope" (5)
"Popeil Veg-o-matic"
"Potty Training" (3)
"Power Surge"(9)
"Pray for, Gas?" (4)
"Pray With Me Henry" (2)
"Pre-emptive Passages"(2)
"Preemptive Invasion"
"Presidential Erection"
"Problem, Officer?" (3)
"Problem, Officer?" (5)
"Problems?" (4)
"Promises Made" (3)
"Promises To Keep" (5)
"Promises to Keep"(9)
"Proud I Am"
"Proud Walter" (5)
"Proxy Server Error" (4)
"Prudent" (10)
"Psychiatrist,5 cents"(6)
"Pugnacious Maverick"
"Pulitzer Means Squat"(8)
"Punxatawney Bush"
"Puppy Angel" (2)
"Purple Pill Please" (2)
"Putin Tang" (3)
"Qaddafi Wins, For Now"(7)
"Qualified? Yeah Right!"
"Quayle Hunting"
"Queen of Memphis"
"Queen of the Damned"
"Quittin' Time" (8)
"Quoth the Raven"(7)
"QVC and Dorothy"
"Qwest For Truth (2)"
"Radio and TV"(7)
"Rain, Rain, Go Away?"(4)
"Rainy Day in Georgia(2)"
"Raptor Rapture" (7)
"Read All About It" (5)
"Real Men Don't Shop"(4)
"Rechargin' da Shire"(11)
"Recycled Air (Gasp)" (2)
"Red Sky at Morning" (3)
"Red Sky at Morning"(5)
"Reduced Flow Flush"(5)
"Reimers' Rhymers"(5)
"Remember These?"
"Remembering Jessica" (2)
"Remote Outpost" (7)
"Render Unto Wright" (4)
"Reverend LeRoy" (3)
"Rice on Hot Tin Roof(2)"
"Rick Santa Anna"(5)
"Right Not Privilege" (4)
"Road to Damascus"
"Road Trip" (5)
"Roads Scholar" (8)
"Rocket Man"
"Rocket Man" (5)
"Rockets Red Glare" (5)
"Rocks Rox"(8)
"Roger the Dodger"(4)
"Roger Williams Sucks"(2)
"Rooty-Toot" (6)
"Rose Garden Promises"(4)
"Royal Portrait" (2)
"Rubber Ducky" (2)
"Rubio's Cube"(6)
"Rules" (6)
"Rules" (7)
"Rumblin' Bumblin'" (3)
"Rumsfeldstiltskin" (2)
"Run Eddie, Run" (5)
"Run Far, Run Fast"(7)
"Run Forrest, Run"
"Run, old hare!"
"Runaround Tsu"
"Runs in the Family" (3)
"Rwanda Go Home?"(6)
"S'long Sarong (2)"
"Sabato Knows" (2)
"Sam Shopping" (2)
"San Juan de Capistrano"
"Sandy Hook" (8)
"Santos v. Vinnick"
"Satire-Apology to Mick"
"Sauron Psalms" (2)
"Sauron's Scythe" (4)
"Savin' Gas" (4)
"SAWB" (3)
"Say Cheese"(7)
"Say It Ain't So,Jo"(4)
"Say It Ain't So,Joe" (2)
"School Holiday" (4)
"Science Marches On"
"Scooter" (2)
"Scott Free" (4)
"Sears and Loveaduck" (5)
"Second Line (2)"
"Second of Two" (4)
"Seems Like Yesterday"(4)
"Seems Like Yesterday"(9)
"Seen Any Blue Swans?"(3)
"Selective Service"(8)
"September Twelfth"(5)
"Serendipity Strikes" (3)
"Serge is Working?" (3)
"Serious,For A Change"(6)
"Seven Samurai" (5)
"Sex or Gender?"
"Sexiest Man Alive"(5)
"Shaken, not stirred"(10)
"She is No Ma Kettle"
"Sheep and Museums"
"Sheep in Mindanao?"
"Shenandoah Rangers"(7)
"Shenandoah" (6)
"Shire Sunset"
"Shock and Awe" (4)
"Shoot 'em, Vern"
"Side by Side" (7)
"Sidin' With Anemone"(4)
"Silence of the Lambs"(2)
"Silent, but deadly"(6)
"Sing It Again" (4)
"Sink or Swim"
"Sir A Gut" (3)
"Six Days on the Road"
"Skull and Bones"(4)
"Skunk Cabbage" (3)
"Sleepy Time (2)"
"Slippin' and a Slidin'"
"Sludge Stimulus" (5)
"Small Businesses-Ha!"(6)
"Small Gray Planet"(2)
"Small Victories"
"Smellin' Roses"
"Smirk Jerk" (2)
"Smokin' Pesticide Dope"
"Smoochy Time" (4)
"Snazis" (2)
"Snow Tan"(11)
"Snowiches" (6)
"So Who's Sluggo?" (2)
"Social Security Reform"
"Social Security" (7)
"Socrates and Friends"(5)
"Soldier of the King"
"Soldier of the Storm(2)"
"Solitary Isolation" (3)
"Solving a Problem"(9)
"Somethin' Borrowed"(5)
"Something in Commons"(5)
"Sometimes Life Sucks"(4)
"Sorcerer's Apprentice"
"Soul Train" (5)
"Souter Rules, Dude"
"Southern Ladies" (5)
"Sow's Ear from Silk"(5)
"Space Poop" (3)
"Speechifyin'" (4)
"Speedy Gonzales" (3)
"Spelling, -23" (6)
"Sperm Count" (3)
"Spiro T. Palin" (4)
"Spoonerized" (6)
"Spring Equal Knox" (3)
"St. George" (4)
"Stan & Ollie"(7)
"State Dinner" (3)
"States' Rahts" (3)
"Sticker Shock"
"Stolen Bases" (3)
"Stragedy" (2)
"Stragedy" (8)
"Strangerthan fiction"(6)
"Strip Searched" (9)
"Stupidly" (5)
"Stupor Bowl Sunday"(2)
"Subsidizing Seeds"(6)
"Sunday, Sunday"(9)
"Sunni Daze" (4)
"Supportin' da Troops"(2)
"Supportin' da Troops"(3)
"Survey Says" (6)
"Sweet Georgia Brown"
"Swiss Miss" (5)
"Take a letter, dearie"
"Take It Off Baby" (5)
"Takes a Worried Man"(4)
"Talibanme Banana"(8)
"Talkin' Turkey" (3)
"Tax Driver" (9)
"Taxpayer Assistance (2)"
"Tea Olive" (7)
"Tear Down That Wall"(4)
"Teflon Causes Cancer"
"Ten Cent Coke" (3)
"Tennessee Stinks" (6)
"Term Paper" (5)
"Terminal? Great!"
"Terre Bonne" (6)
"Terrible Swift Sword"(6)
"Terrible Two's" (2)
"Tess of D'Uberville"(8)
"Tess of the Dorghis" (8)
"Texas Exes" (8)
"Thank the Academy"(4)
"Thank You Rand Paul"
"Thank You, Molly" (2)
"Thanks, Dad" (3)
"Thar She Blows"
"That Looks Like Me"(5)
"That's the way it is"(5)
"Thawt Yuze a Toad"(7)
"The 60 Year Struggle"(5)
"The Atlanta Eye" (6)
"The Blue Dog"(11)
"The Boston Massacre"(9)
"The Boys of '63" (8)
"The Brotherhood Begins"
"The Eyes of Texas"
"The Forum" (2)
"The Future is Now (2)"
"The Garden of Good"
"The Good Book" (4)
"The Good Doctor"(6)
"The Great Quixote" (9)
"The Grumpy Dwarf"(9)
"The Important Stuff"
"The Italian Stallion"
"The Litany" (6)
"The Longest Day" (5)
"The Non-Issue" (3)
"The Perfect Storm" (2)
"The Pre-Fellowship"(4)
"The Prophecy"
"The Real Rhett" (4)
"The Second Amendment"
"The Silver Sow Award"(3)
"The Splurge" (4)
"The Turtle" (3)
"The Union Label"(6)
"There is a Virginia" (2)
"They're He-ear" (4)
"Thin Ice, Frodo" (4)
"Third Strike Nuance (2)"
"This Day in History"(3)
"This, Too, Shall Pass"
"Three A.M." (4)
"Three Siblings" (4)
"Three Votes Short" (3)
"Thriller" (9)
"Thunder Road"
"Thy Name be Peace" (2)
"Tie a Yellow Ribbon" (3)
"Tiger By The Tail" (5)
"Time to Cut Brush" (3)
"Time With Friends" (3)
"Times A' Wastin'" (3)
"Title IX Disaster" (5)
"To Arms, To Arms"
"To the Hoop (2)"
"Together Again" (3)
"Tokyo Rush" (5)
"Tom Bombadil isDying"(7)
"Tom Bombadil Returns"(9)
"Tom" (4)
"Top Two Percent" (7)
"Tora Bora Lora. . ." (2)
"Torah, Torah..."(6)
"Toro, Andalay,Toro (2)"
"Touchdown Swabbie" (3)
"Tovarich" (4)
"Tra La,Spring,Tra La"(6)
"Train Wreck"(8)
"Transparency" (4)
"Travel Sucks" (4)
"Tree Fishin' (2)"
"Trees v. Forest"(9)
"Trekking Mount Doom" (2)
"Tripod Hackers?"(9)
"Trouble Sleepin'" (3)
"Truckin' for Isaiah" (3)
"Truly,Totally, Nuts"(3)
"Tuesdays with Nancy"(4)
"Tullahoma Tequila (2)"
"Tumbler" (3)
"Turkey Day Walkabout"(2)
"TW3" (3)
"Tweety Pie" (2)
"Twenty to Life" (5)
"Twismas Tunes" (5)
"Twisted Sister" (4)
"Two Americas" (4)
"Two Americas" (9)
"Two Steps Back" (4)
"Two Thousand, Ate" (4)
"Unademdaze" (4)
"Unborn in the USA" (6)
"Unbroken Circle" (7)
"Unconditional Surrender"
"Unconventional, you say?"(7)
"Underdog Shmunderdog"(4)
"Unmarked Grave" (6)
"Untimely Events"
"UR Number Is Up" (7)
"Vacation Brouhaha" (3)
"Vacation Comin'" (2)
"Vandals at the Gates"(2)
"Vat of Chocolate"(6)
"Vero Possumus" (4)
"Veto Shmetoe (2)"
"Vick Drops, Cough!" (3)
"Video Thriller"(5)
"Vinson Can Gogh"(6)
"Virgin Birth" (2)
"Virginia is 4 Lovers"(4)
"Virginia Lovers" (4)
"Vom Winde Verweht" (2)
"Vote for Steve" (2)
"Vote Frodo (Not)"(7)
"W is for Wuss""
"Wait 'til Next Year" (2)
"Wait 'Til Next Year"(2)A
"Walkin' in the Woods"(5)
"Walkin' the Dogs"(8)
"Walkin' the Walk"
"Wall of Libertad"
"War on Middle Class"(2)
"War on Tara"
"Warm Bucket of Spit"(4)
"Was Miers His Attorney?"
"Watch Mr. Wizard" (3)
"Water Into Wine" (11)
"Water into Wine?"
"Watts da plan, Man?"(5)
"Wayne Johnson"(4)
"We Make a Better Day"(5)
"We Sank a Truck"
"We Will Rock You"
"Weather Channel Follies"
"Weddin' Down South" (3)
"Wedding Bell Blues"
"Weeds Way Is Up?"(5)
"Weepy Seepy Peepee"(3)
"Welcome Home, Soldier"
"Well, Duh!"
"Well, Poop"(8)
"West Wing Redux" (2)
"What Goes Around" (6)
"What if JR Shot Back"(9)
"What is a Shimkus?" (2)
"What Mark Felt"
"What Schedule?" (2)
"What Time Is It (2)"
"What We Have Here (2)"
"What Would Mitt Do?"(3)
"What's A Cubit?"
"What's a Sgarbi?" (5)
"What, Me Worry?"
"What, Me Worry?" (3)
"Where Sun Doan Shine"(8)
"Where's Frodo?" (5)
"Where's my puppy?"(4)
"Where's the Beef?"
"Where's the Fire?"(5)
"Whither Frodo?"
"Whitman's Sampler"(6)
"Who Dat Say Who Dat?"
"Who dat?" (2)
"Who did it?" (2)
"Who Torted?"
"Who Was That Guy?" (5)
"Who's In Line?"(6)
"Who's We, White Boy?"(3)
"Why are you here"?(3)
"Why are you here?" (3)
"Why Black Folks Cheered"
"Wiccan I do for you?"(2)
"Wicked Pickett"
"Wide Stance" (4)
"Will better be?"(7)
"Willard" (7)
"Willie B had heart" (5)
"Winchester Women (2)"
"Wink at the Moon"
"Winter Solstice"
"Wishin' and Hopin'"
"Wither Channels" (5)
"Wither Weather"(9)
"Wither Weather?"(4)
"WMD in the Shire"(6)
"Words To Live By"(7)
"Workin' on Night Moves"
"Worst Candidate Ever"(8)
"Worth Waiting For?"(5)
"Write a Letter" (7)
"Writer's Block" (2)
"Wrong Again, Frodo"(3)
"Wyomin' Gloamin'" (2)
"Xmas in Shreveport"(6)
"Yahoo" (4)
"Yankee Humor" (5)
"Yankee Ingenuity"
"Yella Rose a Taxes"(4)
"Yellow Peril" (3)
"Yes, No, Who Knows?" (2)
"You Betcha" (6)
"You Put Your Eye Out"(2)
"You Snake in the Grass"
"You Take the High Road"
"Zimmerman Noted"(6)
"Zinni in Bloom (2)"
"Zounds, Sounds!" (5)
"Zounds, you varlet"(4)
Southern Pine Beetles"(4)
The H Word" (6)
Citizens of Middle Earth
The Fellowship of the Ring
The Return of the King
Frodo, Keeper of the Ring
Thursday, January 14, 2010
If You Don't Know Me By Now
Mood:  lyrical
Topic: "Soul Train" (5)

Quixotic it is that Frodo spend a few moments stepping back from the death and destruction in Haiti in order to speak of another death.  The mellifluous voice of Teddy Pendergrass was stilled this day, and Frodo immediately recalled some special moments in his life.  For an artist, there is no higher compliment.

Pendergrass began his career with the group known as "Harold Melvin & The Blue Notes."  Not long after striking out on his own, the arrogance of youth and talent brought him to the near fatal automobile crash which left him paralyzed for the remainder of his days.  Colon cancer struck the final blow.

His list of love songs, although only a part of his creations, are special to Frodo because of the human artistry lyrically weaved into the product.  In our title song, he touched his audience recognizing that "all the things we've been through" reflect humanity because "we all got our own funny moves."  Every relationship, simply said, reaches a point where partners have to accept each other, or go their own separate ways.

Frodo is a wordsmith, but tonight he feels an absolute inability to capture the magnificence of the harmony which emanates from the YouTube replay of the appearance of Pendergrass and his associates with Don Cornelius.  Before you go to bed this night, seek it out, and sway.   


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:56 PM EST
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Wednesday, January 13, 2010
I Got So Damn Depressed
Mood:  don't ask
Topic: ""I Ain't Got Much" (5)

Frodo had legitimate business reasons for his frequent trips to Puerto Rico.  He was not so naive however, as to ignore the resentment that so many natives held toward those like him who were from "the mainland."  The absolute ignorance of the issues in Puerto Rico exhibited by mainlanders was, and still is, humiliating, for the all rest of us.  For example, it is not uncommon for verbose mainlanders to loudly proffer that Puerto Rico should be given "her independence."  Since only about a third of the people of Puerto Rico share that opinion (the options being statehood or the status quo, a commonwealth), it is easy to see why mainlanders are resented for the unfortunate habit of talking without having any information to substantiate their opinion.

No, this posting is not about Sarah Palin, but it could be, admittedly.

Frodo is deeply concerned about the events taking place in Puerto Rico's neighbor this evening.  It is possible, though certainly beyond conceivable, that half-a-million people have died within the seismic zone in the nation of Haiti.  By now, everyone knows that this is the poorest of the poor in the Americas, and that there are no local resources available to serve, if not save, human life in Haiti.  Frodo notices immediately that the pictures of the destruction yield no trees, and no birds.  They have been consumed by overpopulation.  Whatever comes out of this disaster, in order to live another day, will be from the largesse of peoples from all around the civilized world.

When Frodo was last in Puerto Rico, it was crowded in the streets below, since office buildings were spilling their human content as if they were all sharing the same schedule for a daily purgative.  Frodo's friend wanted him to join his circle of friends for an apertif in a nearby watering hole, and suggested that the best way to avoid the crowds was to walk through the secured facilities of the downtown Federal Office Building.  Frodo gamely followed the gaggle of natives, practicing his hideous Spanish amid their laughter.  Suddenly, Frodo was confronted by a line of 10 or 12 very slender men, all chained together and guarded by very big men with very big guns.  Frodo was too startled to think of an appropriate question, so his friend responded to his silence with but a single word.  He simply said, "Dominicans."

Just as there are Mexicans and Cubans and Guatemalans all looking to enter into our homeland for many types of opportunity, residents of the Dominican Republic attempt to illegally enter Puerto Rico for exactly the same reasons.  There are too many people, and not enough resources to serve them, or save them, in the Dominican Republic.  Over drinks, Frodo learned that the attempts usually come by boat from the eastern end of the island of Hispaniola, and that hardly a day goes by that there aren't lives lost in the attempt.  Desperation, it seems, is quite a motivator.

Frodo thought about the desperation of the "Dominicans" this evening, when he heard Brian Williams talk about all of the equipment and supplies being delivered to Haitians from their neighbors in the Dominican Republic.  The poorest people that Frodo had ever seen were giving to help their neighbors on the western end of the island of Hispaniola.

Bilbo has often told Frodo about the days of the Great Depression, when there was hardly enough to eat on the farm, but that her "daddy" never turned any wayfarer away without sustenance.  Perhaps, thinks Frodo, it would be a good idea to look back to Lincoln's words about Christianity, and why God made so many poor people. 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:55 PM EST
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Sunday, January 10, 2010
Cindy, Oh Cindy, Cindy Don't Let Me Down
Mood:  crushed out
Topic: "Cat Fight" (5)

Non-public statements which become public knowledge are part of Frodo's avocational interest in politics.  With the exception of professional sports and the journalists who cover them, nobody does it better than politicians and those who tend to write books two years later.  The Senior Senator from Nevada, and the former Governor of Alaska appear in a new book today as if they had planned to appear naked and let small children discover that neither was wearing clothes.  Sam is an advocate of greater research into the true and untold story of the 2008 Republican Presidential candidates, and their spouses.

Sir Todd, we know, has a multi-year documented membership in a white supremacist organization which the Vice Presidential aspirant tried to ignore.  It can safely be assumed that Senator McCain at some point in time became aware of Todd's buddies, and Frodo would like to go on record as saying that he truly believes McCain was not thrilled.

The real unknown however, is the relationship between Cindy McCain and Sarah.  In silence, Frodo has spent countless hours searching Cindy's face whenever she shared a public appearance with "The Flying None."  As a lifelong student of feminine expressions, Frodo has a self-developed acuity for determining when a woman is in the presence of someone she cannot stomach (Frodo, after all, has admitted to not having won every scoring opportunity).  It is Frodo's professional opinion, and not unsurprisingly confirmed by friend Samwise, that Cindy McCain was sorely tempted to push Sarah's head into a tub of water and to hold it there until the conclusion of the Iowa Primary.  

Frodo is reminded of the look that the housewife of thirty years might have upon her countenance when she learned that her husband once played golf with Tiger Woods.  It is probable, in Frodo's mind, that said housewife might want to get an accounting of cellphone usage, and to see if there were any golf clubs in the SUV.  Cindy has that same look in her eyes, just like that which caused Caesar to take special note of Brutus' presence at the terminus of his political career.

Sam is willing to consider offering a reward to anyone who gets Cindy to talk.  Frodo, again, remarks that inquiring minds, simply, want to know. 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:14 PM EST
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Friday, January 8, 2010
Someday When We're Dreamin'
Mood:  hug me
Topic: "Deep and Dark" (5)

When the Gardens of the Shire were new, it was merely an open deck which extended into a back yard.  After several renovations, and the passage of time, it is now a window-enclosed elevated room which reaches out at tree-top level into the native growth that flowers below.  A kerosene heater burns brightly at this time of year, while the ceiling fan sits idle, awaiting its next call to action.  Frodo can turn his chair inward and watch the news or the athlete who strives for broadcast perfection.  But with a light coating of snow and bone-chilling temperatures outside, it is tempting to stand and peer into the darkness endlessly, looking for signs of movement and shimmers of life in the darkness of winter.

Frodo had noticed a ghostlike apparition whipping in the snares of a hickory tree days ago, and had at first believed it to be the corpse of a kite.  Closer examination revealed it to be a plastic shopping bag, caught halfway up in the nakedness of the arboreal, too far for the Frodo of today to climb and secure.  Frodo knew that, with time, ever-present, the bag would eventually disappear and plague him no more.  He was struck however, by the fact that the bag was already gone, and appeared to be moving, of its own power, atop the horse-fence which encircles the Shire.

An intrepid squirrel, perhaps looking to add substance to the structure which sheltered his small family, had the bag in paw, and was dragging it along the fence, in the direction of shelter.  Unfortunately, the wind was whipping mercilessly, and had penetrated the opening of the bag.  The parachute thus created was pulling the squirrel in the exactly opposing direction intended.  Frodo smiled and called to Sam to come and watch the struggle in the snow-lit darkness.  Fiona and Mick, the Wonder Dog, followed and peered through the windows thinking that something wonderful must be at hand.

Eventually, the struggle below disappeared over the side of the fence and out-of-view.  Before long Frodo was alone again, and his mind wandered to the poetry of Robert Frost, New England's champion in Frodo's assessment of those who can create dreams from mere words.  The woods were indeed dark and deep, and had reminded Frodo that moments like this are left behind all too quickly.

On this morn Frodo noted the plastic bag, once again flapping in the breeze of the hickory tree.  Perhaps Act II, Scene I, will take place when the wind dies down and the harvest of nest insulation can proceed unabated.  That much effort should never be denied.    

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 11:49 AM EST
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Wednesday, January 6, 2010
I Just Called To Say I Love You
Mood:  surprised
Topic: "Run Eddie, Run" (5)

United States Senator Byron Dorgan (D-ND) has never really meant too much to Frodo.  After all, North Dakota is one of those states never visited by Frodo, and given the glacial (pun, pardon) speed at which global warming is apparently occurring, it is unlikely that Frodo will ever visit North Dakota.  Dorgan is apparently a man of great integrity, and he has gained a measure of respect among civilized citizenry for his dogged determination in the seemingly endless debates on healthcare reform.  Frodo was surprised that he indicated an unwillingness to offer himself for additional abuse at the hands of an electorate long on passion and short on information.  For a few minutes, Frodo was depressed.

Then he thought about Ed.  Ed Schultz that is, the host of the "Ed Schultz Show" on MSNBC, and a long-time resident and progressive radio show host in North Dakota.  Frodo and Sam, both of whom enjoy tuning in to his "Psycho Talk" segment, during which he typically zeroes in on Michele Bachmann, Liz Cheney, Glenn Beck, or some other fruit who has escaped from an entagling vine were heartedly jointly-composing an e-mail to suggest that he consider running to replace Dorgan.

Schultz is nothing, if not committed to the principles of helping the working man, and standing up for the underdog.  He never, ever, stops, and he is not ashamed to raise havoc with those whom he feels do not fight hard enough.  Although Frodo finds him to be a bit much from time-to-time, he is indeed a fighter.

"Boy," thought Frodo, "it would be refreshing to hear a guy who fights with his heart as well as his mind, again, in American politics."

It was even more refreshing to hear that Schultz has been approached by the Democratic Party in North Dakota, and asked to consider running to replace Senator Dorgan.

When the vetting process is complete, and if Schultz and his family choose to follow this path, then he will have a Hobbit at his back.

Run, Edddie, run far and run fast.  We have 300 days to make it so.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:56 PM EST
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Sunday, January 3, 2010
Baby, It's Cold Outside
Mood:  bright
Topic: "Watts da plan, Man?"(5)

Now that the last of the lists has been compiled, and Frodo no longer has to match wits with someone, anyone, who believes that one of anything, something, is more important than everything else that has taken place, it is time for the next step toward insanity.  What are the great issues, in descending order, that now face the citizens of Middle Earth?

1.  What to do when there is nothing on television?

The Internet used to be a hoot, but now it is work.  Either it serves as a replacement for more traditional research and analysis, or it mandates a new set of priorities into every day of one's life.  Even the casual blogger finds himself stressed by the fact that he hasn't "posted," and that his devoted readers may get bored and go away, then he'd have to start all over and what would happen if he wasn't funny/poignant/authoritative (pick one)?  The difference between the offerings of television, and those of the Internet, are that Mary Tyler Moore and Andy Griffith are not replaced by firedoglake or the huffingtons.

2.  What to do when you get voice mail?

Frodo believes that the phrase "your message is very important" ranks right there with "Arbeit Macht Frei."  Everybody knows that it is pure bullshit and that you will surely die if you wait longer than one hour for anyone to return your call.  Nothing communicates your comparative relative standing in another's priorities if you don't get a call back on the same day that you leave your message.  The anxiety created by an unreturned message is merely a replacement for the anxiety which used to exist when there was no answer and the telephone just rang and rang.

3.  What to do when there is no return address?

A Christmas Card, signed by an old friend, containing a generic one-page synopsis of the past year, absent any reference to either a spouse, or something somewhat relevant, without a little sticky return address on the front left-hand side of the envelope, is a better form of communication than is a smoke-signal.  It also requires evasive action less a scalping soon take place.  Unfortunately, either #1 or #2 above represent the next available step in these troubled times.

Finally, says Frodo, there is the issue of the weather.  What do you do if it is so damn cold outside that your dog's tweeter has icicles on it, and he looks to you for relief?




Posted by loveysdaddyga at 11:50 AM EST
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Thursday, December 31, 2009
The World Is At Your Command
Mood:  special
Topic: "Seven Samurai" (5)

A. K. Kurosawa penned an immortal tale which was transformed into English when Charles Bronson, Yul Brynner, Steve McQueen, and a host of others became "The Magnificent Seven."  Frodo is not of a mind this evening to dwell on the score that swells his chest and allows him to imagine what it must really be like to fight to preserve the life of the guy standing next to you, who is fighting to preserve your life.  Perhaps it is the night, and the sound of fireworks, that exacerbate the numbers he absorbs as 2009 slips into ignominy.

Seven, added to three hundred and four doesn't really compute when the costs of war are tabulated in the mind of man or hobbit.  We routinely count the number of soldiers who die for some reason somewhere, but it is very rare when "civilians" are added to the count, as they were this day.  The "Station Chief" in Khost was a married woman.  One of the Central Intelligence Agency employees reporting to her was a thirty-seven year-old father of four.  A "suicide bomber' separated the families from their loved ones who also served, us.

Frodo, obliquely, wonders if Dick Cheney will ever know their names.  What troubles him most of all is the fact that Frodo can't even remember the names of all the actors in "The Magnificent Seven."  It was a very wise friend who once told Frodo that the most difficult job in the world would be that of the Director of Human Resources in the CIA.  When Frodo queried for a response, he was told that the employees may be trained to imbibe and seduce as part of their assigned task overseas, but once they return to the "homeland," they are disciplined for maintaining the behavior for which they had been honored.  How "hypocritical," thought Frodo, and nobody ever gets to know their names, unless Dick Cheney sees political advantage therein.

"Day is done, gone the Sun. . ." warbles Frodo to an empty sky, and the sound of fireworks in the distance.


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:49 PM EST
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Monday, December 28, 2009
I Better Knock On Wood
Mood:  irritated
Topic: "If Frodo Ran The DHS"(5)

Frodo believed then, and he believes now, that the Department of Homeland Obscurity was a stupid idea.  No Texan, in Frodo's opinion, has ever had a good idea (with the possible exception of everyone who has moved out of Mexico's largest province and sought solace in any place else on the Planet Earth).  Every person retaining Texas residence should immediately be placed on a "Do Not Fly List," and administered a field sobriety examination.  Creating the world's largest civilian bureaucracy was the kind of decision that Frodo expects of those with names like Bush, Connolly, or Jerry Jones.

If there were no DHS (federal agencies are required to develop and utilize their own distinctive acronym), Frodo believes that the following guidelines would already be in effect protecting the airborne among our citizenry.

First, no airline ticket costing more than $500 could be purchased with cash.  Now, before you get your underwear tied in knots, consider how often you've been able to rent an automobile in an all cash transaction.  The precedent is there, and despite the protestations of the Nigerians, who claim to be an 'all cash' society, they certainly ask for credit card information every time some Nigerian Banker's Son sends Frodo the news that he is soon to be the proud possessor of a $10M inheritance from the recently-departed Prince Somnambulism who had been miraculously looking for Frodo for many years.

Second, no son should be allowed to board an aircraft if his father has notified two or more embassies that he is behaving improperly.  Please note that Frodo does not include women in this restrictive connotation (after all, it would be hypocritical, if not counterproductive, for anyone who has devoted a lifetime in search of 'bad girls' to punish them. . .hmm, let's hold that thought for a while).

Finally, the total elimination of carry-on baggage would enhance both the safety and the fiscal independence of the traveler.  If the accountants who run the airlines no longer had the ability to generate 'service charges' for carry-ons, then they might shift their concentration to something involving true concern for their passengers.  Frodo would be the first to turn Sam into the TSA (note appropriate acronym for those now known as "the water-bottle gestapo") for masquerading the hand-held carry-on as a "purse."

The suggestions submitted herein do not result from the conduct of a single off-site staff meeting.  No Texan, living or dead, participated in the formulation thereof.  No taxes will be increased in order to implement these changes to present security systems.  No partisan political positions will be enhanced by any of these damn good ideas (Frodo doesn't think much of Texas Democrats, either).




Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:13 PM EST
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Sunday, December 27, 2009
God Is Watching Us From a Distance
Mood:  not sure
Topic: "Cabin Fever" (5)

With just a few days to go, the Shire has experienced more rain in the past year than in any other year, save one, ever.  This coming on top of an unparalleled drought, which severely limited the growth of the economic engines running the Sun Belt.  Now even frozen New England is projected to experience a sustainable return to normalcy quicker than is the lower-taxed and more favorable working conditions of the American South.  Things have gotten turned around for Frodo, and it is causing him severe consternation amid his search for answers.

The latter days of the decade of the dregs have dawned sunny and bright, but there is a chill in the air which makes the anticipated tasks in the gardens of the Shire, and upon Frodo's motorcar, beyond reasonable effort.  That drives Frodo back inside whence he draws upon the struggle between two universities about whom he has no interest, and their gridiron performance which brings Frodo to conclude that there must be something on the Internet with even a modicum of intellectual challenge.  When that assumption is burst, Frodo, again, looks outside at the blue skies and avians in search of sustenance.

Frodo's canine companions are content to stay warm and inactive.  Sam is trimming toenails (a sometimes all-day job) and Bilbo is looking at old black-and-white photographs (an activity which immediately hastens one's final visit to the cemetery).  Frodo knows how that weirdo in the cabin in Montana must have felt just before he initiated the correspondence which yielded the creation of the "Unibomber' (or is that "Unabomber"?).

Frodo will first interrupt Bilbo, and perform an in-depth analysis of fiscal resources and commitments for the benefit of his control over those assets.  He will then waken those whose spirits are akin to the "Hound of the Baskervilles," and make them perform sentry duty about the very fringes of Middle Earth.  Upon their return he will suffer the pangs of frostbite as he removes the geophysical detritus which dulls the sheen of his motorcar.  It is not a total sense of obligation that drives him so on a Sunday, it is just the knowledge that unless he acts with zest and purpose, he is likely to do something stupid like make a list of Republican screw-ups and present them to you, dear reader, as "Boehner's Boners," or "Palin's Pratfalls."

It is too soon removed from Christmas for him to swarm upon the ignorant with malice aforethought.  Better to wait until the New Year (and a day that is both frigid and overcast).   

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 12:28 PM EST
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Sunday, December 20, 2009
When They Do The Bristol Stomp
Mood:  accident prone
Topic: "Ensign Pulver"(5)

Bilbo asked Frodo if he recalled his dish-washing adventure with the gallant Howard and, instantly, Frodo broke into a smile.  The events are true.

Several years ago the gallant Howard, recently widowed, came to the Shire to spend some recovery time with Frodo and Sam.  Frodo and Sam were both working, and the gallant Howard could amuse himself with his friends Lovey (a border collie and surrogate Secretary of State), Gumbo (Sam's personal dog of mass destruction), Rocky (the feline Italian Stallion), and Peeper (cockatiel waitress).  Sam's hours at work were irregular thus producing instances when Frodo would join this assemblage in performing strictly-dictated Sam-assigned duties.  Frodo, it is well-chronicled, is skilled in word and sword, but the mechanical is that which he is more than willing to out-source.  The gallant Howard, product of another generation, was used to long hours of work, none of which however involved "housework."  Thus was the stage set for the reprise of that golden moment when life (again) imitated art.

Sam had left written instructions for Frodo and the gallant Howard to include "run the dishwasher" in their assignments that infamous Saturday morning.  Sam also indicated a planned return to the Shire just after lunch.  After several cups of coffee, a discussion of the prior night's football action, and the requirements of pet care, Frodo and the gallant Howard sort of looked at one another as they absorbed the content of Sam's instructions.  Mutually, they opened the dishwasher, examined the dials and buttons, and performed as if, individually, they had any idea of what to do next.  There has been some dispute since as to who exactly took hold of the "dishwashing liquid" and commenced to pour the contents into the little container inside the washer.  No matter really, since neither protested that this course of action would prove to be unwise.

Things were going famously until the gallant Howard noted bubbles emerging from the top of the washing machine.  The situation swiftly became critical, and was so noted by the other inhabitants of the Shire.  Lovey, Gumbo, and Rocky high-tailed it for the great outdoors as the kitchen began to resemble a virtual bubbly wonderland.  Peeper sought the comfort of her cage, and did her best to shut and lock the door behind her.

By now Frodo and the gallant Howard were in a near state of panic since the bubbles were waist high throughout the kitchen, and were threatening expansion into both the living and the dining areas of the Shire.  Frodo, sans goggles, dived into the now open door of the washing machine, and managed to stop the machine.  The bubbles, however, continued to multiply as if they were a backdrop for a performance by the late Don Ho.

The gallant Howard had the good sense to assemble mops and rags (giving Frodo reason to believe that he had experienced something like this at an earlier point in his life), and the two warriors commenced to wipe up and dance about the kitchen area as the clock moved relentlessly toward the noon hour.

With but moments to spare, the bubblemachine ran out of ammunition and the desperate defenders of the Shire were turning the kitchen area into a paragon of cleanliness.  As Sam pulled into the driveway, Frodo and the gallant Howard returned all movables to their previous point of embarkation, and fell into their assigned positions of leisure as if nothing had at all occurred.  Sam did not become suspicious, immediately, even though the other residents of the Shire inexplicably failed to return for traditional treats in the kitchen area.

Frodo thought they had gotten away with it.  Then, the gallant Howard broke the code of the Mafia, and Sam swarmed into an exploratory examination of the entirety of the Shire.  The animals came back inside, and Peeper (who, indeed, talked) sealed the facts for Sam.  Frodo would take the blame.

That evening, still sulking, Frodo turned on the black-and-white, and happened upon the play, turned into a movie, entitled "Mister Roberts."  It would be the first of many occasions when he was able to laugh about the happenings under his control as the de facto "Laundry and Morale Officer" of the S.S. Shire.  

Ensign Pulver lost Doug Roberts not long thereafter, and all of the crew members have moved on to higher calling.  The adventures, however, never end, and the Shire remains a refuge for the only partially controlled.     

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 12:48 PM EST
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