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" Citizen Soldiers" (5)
" Putin' Out" (5)
" Thin Ice"(9)
""I Ain't Got Much" (5)
""Soft Memories" (7)
"$100, Are You Sure?" (5)
"0 Preservative Added"(2)
"105 Minute Workday"(9)
"16 Percent Factor"(3)
"176,000,000 to 1"(8)
"26 Damn Dollars"(6)
"3 Percent Turnout" (2)
"37 Come 11" (5)
"3:10 to Yuma" (7)
"50 Weeks of Reality TV"
"501 (c)(4)"
"54 Pounds" (8)
"8.8 Pounds"(6)
"A Capitol Idea" (6)
"A Code in My Node"
"A Course is a Course"(2)
"A Day At The Beach" (3)
"A Dog Named Bo" (5)
"A Hobbit of an Idea"
"A Man's Army"
"A Patriot Act" (7)
"A Patriotic Act"
"A Perfect World"
"A soldier booed?'(7)
"A Space Odyssey" (4)
"A Taxing Story" (5)
"A Thousand Campfires"(4)
"A Three Hour Tour"(8)
"A Touch of Class"(5)
"A Waisted Day" (5)
"A Woman Scorned"
"Aagh,I'll Pay,I'll Pay"
"Abe Wong, of Gondor"(5)
"Act I, Scene I" (8)
"Act I, Scene II" (8)
"Act I, Scene III" (8)
"Adjustable 2nd Card"(3)
"Adjusting Policies"
"Adjusting the Clock"(8)
"Aegean Adventure" (2)
"Ah ah ah Stayin' Alive"
"Airline Highway" (5)
"Alan Scott" (7)
"All Aboard"
"All Bets Are In" (2)
"All Charged Up"
"All Good Things" (4)
"Allah Be Praised" (5)
"Almost Heaven" (2)
"Alpha Dog"(7)
"Alright, Who Did It?"(7)
"Also Sprach Frodo" (4)
"Always Wear Gloves" (3)
"AM Radio Next?"
"America's Toilet" (6)
"American Cemetery"(8)
"An Admission"
"An Apple A Day" (7)
"An Hour A Day" (6)
"An Ugly American"(4)
"Anchorman" (6)
"And the Winner Is" (2)
"Andy Griffith Redux"
"Another Single Woman?"
"Another Three-namer"(5)
"Another Time/Place"(4)
"Anvil Throwin' Time"(8)
"Apocalypse Now?" (3)
"Aragorn" (4)
"Armored Dildos" (3)
"As Far As We Know" (2)
"Ask Ann Landers" (3)
"Assembly LineDancing"(4)
"Astronaughty" (2)
"Atlanta Times Three"
"Augmentation" (2)
"Augustus Agonistes" (5)
"Aurora Borealis" (8)
"Autumnal Observances"(2)
"Avast You Lubbers"(6)
"Baby Doctors (2)"
"Baby Fiona"(7)
"Baby Nathan Yahoo"(10)
"Back Door Basra (2)"
"Back inthe Saddle Again"
"Bad Boys, Bad Boys"
"Bad Time for Bonzo" (3)
"Balance of Nature" (3)
"Balance of Payments"(5)
"Balancing the Budget"
"Ballamer" (4)
"Bang the Drum Slowly"
"Bank Prank" (5)
"Baptists are Pussies"(7)
"Barbed Wire Escape (2)"
"Barbie Banditos" (3)
"Barely Bearble"(7)
"Barely Defensible" (2)
"Barry Me Not (2)"
"Bathroom onna Right"(3)
"Beach Music" (7)
"Because It Is Hard" (4)
"Beechwood 4-5789"(6)
"Belling the Cat" (2)
"Ben McGee" (3)
"Benny and the Jets"(5)
"Berlusconi in Love"(6)
"Best be straight Boy"(5)
"Best Day/Worst Day"(6)
"Best in the South" (5)
"Best in the World?"(5)
"Betray Us" (3)
"Bettah than Etta"(4)
"Better Man" (3)
"Better Than Pong"
"Big Time Sports" (3)
"Big Words,LittleMind"(6)
"Bilbo's Birthday (2)"
"Bilbo's Little Boy"(5)
"Bilbo's Revenge" (5)
"Bill and Hillary (2)"
"Billy World" (2)
"Bimini Babes" (3)
"Bird is the Word" (3)
"Birmingham Jail" (5)
"Birthday Baggins"
"Birthday Buddies" (7)
"Birthday Memory" (4)
"Birthin' No Babies" (3)
"Bishop to King's Castle"
"Black Friday" (2)
"Black Gold, Texas Tea"
"Black Hole Blues" (4)
"Black Jack"
"Black Russians" (6)
"Black Widow" (3)
"Blackboard Jungle"
"Blame Game" (3)
"Bleached Bones" (5)
"Blitzkrieg Bellini" (2)
"Blood and Swash" (3)
"Bloopers" (5)
"Blue Christmas" (2)
"Bo's Birthday"(5)
"Bob Sikes' Cut"(9)
"Bob, Bob, Bobbit" (3)
"Bobby, not Ben"(6)
"Bon Air Bellicose" (4)
"Bon Giorno" (6)
"Bona Lisa" (5)
"Bonds-v-Skvara" (3)
"Boo Boo Poo Poo"(9)
"Boromir & Galadriel"(5)
"Bottled in Thyme"(7)
"Bottom Ten"(9)
"Bovine Stem Cells?"
"Boy, I Say Boy"
"Boycott BP"
"Breaker, Breaker" (4)
"Breakin' rules" (7)
"Breaking News" (7)
"Brer Fox (2)"
"Bridge at Andau"(11)
"Bring Back Ross" (2)
"Bring the Bowl"
"Broken News"(10)
"Brother of the Ring"
"Brownback Mountain"
"Brownie Hawkeye"
"Buckwheat Breathes" (2)
"Bumper Sticker"
"Burn Baby, Burn" (3)
"Bush in the Bullrushes"
"Bush Baby, Bush (2)"
"Bush is Chinese?" (2)
"Bush Press Conference"
"Bush-Bashers Be We (2)"
"Busman's Holiday(2)"
"Butt...Butt...Butt" (3)
"Butterflies? Sheesh!"
"Buttermilk Drops" (3)
"Buy a Subaru" (11)
"Buy Stock in America"(6)
"Cabin Fever" (5)
"Cain Not Able" (7)
"Cake in the Rain"
"Cake in the Rain"(3)
"Call Me Ishmael" (3)
"Callista, an Albino?"(7)
"Camp Pleasant" (2)
"Can She Name Them?(2)"
"Can You Hear Me Now?"
"Canaan Conspiracy"(6)
"Candygram" (4)
"Captive Audience"(6)
"Caramel or Carmel?"(3)
"Carolina Cougar(2)"
"Carolina Curmudgeon" (5)
"Cartoon Characters" (3)
"Case of Packy Stann"(3)
"Cash crash crashed?"(5)
"Cat Fight" (5)
"Caterpillar Quandry" (3)
"Causal Relationships"(9)
"Cause It's One, (2)"
"Ceramic s"
"Ch-ch-changin'" (4)
"Change a'comin" (5)
"Change is Good" (5)
"Change?" (3)
"Changin' Channels" (2)
"Chapter 13"
"Chariots of Fire"
"Chariots' a' Comin'"(4)
"Chassahowitzka" (2)
"Chauncey Gardner"(7)
"Chemical Alley" (6)
"Cheney of Fools" (2)
"Cherem" (3)
"Chew my Gazebo, Willya?"
"Chief Noc-a-Homa" (3)
"Chingachgook Lives"
"Chipmonkeys Alert (2)"
"Chipper" (6)
"Christian Balls"(10)
"Christian the Lion"(4)
"Christian Valuelessness"
"Christmas Communique"(3)
"Christmas, 1936" (2)
"Chutzpah Hooters" (4)
"Cilled a Bar?" (3)
"Cindy, oh Cindy"(4)
"Citizen Soldiers" (2)
"Clark and Lois (2)"
"Classified Ads are Cool"
"Claymore Gregg" (3)
"Clean Machine" (2)
"Clean up in Aisle 4!"(4)
"Climb It Chains" (8)
"Clinton Cuts" (7)
"Clone Chipper,Please"(4)
"Cockatiel Lounge" (2)
"College of the Shire"(6)
"Combat Kelly (2)"
"Come On Baby"(8)
"Come on Down" (3)
"Comin' Clean" (5)
"Comin' Home" (3)
"Commencement (2)"
"Comparables" (6)
"Condi for President" (3)
"Cone of Silence" (4)
"Conflagration" (3)
"Confusion Reigns"(10)
"Congress Goes to War (2)
"Congress' Schmidthead"
"Conspiracy Theory" (4)
"Copy Cat Chinese" (5)
"Country Roads" (7)
"Crawford Convention" (2)
"Crikey" (2)
"Crime and Punishment(2)"
"Crotch Rocket Delite"(4)
"Cult of the Wild"(7)
"Curious, George?"
"Currahee" (5)
"Da Juice Is Back" (3)
"Dad" (5)
"Damages Done (2)"
"Damn Close" (4)
"Damn It To Hell" (5)
"Damn Lies" (7)
"Dandy Dale" (7)
"Danger Will Robinson"(5)
"Danger,Will Robinson"(8)
"Darth Dick" (5)
"Darwin's Company" (4)
"Das Boot"
"Das Ende" (6)
"Date With David" (2)
"Day of Infamy" (4)
"Day-O, Me Wan Go"(7)
"De Tar-Ball Baby" (6)
"Dead Honkey"
"Dearest Bilbo"
"Debits on the Left?" (2)
"Decisions, Decisions"(6)
"Deep and Dark" (5)
"Deep Shiite" (3)
"Degree of Separation"(6)
"Deja 1958 Over Again"
"Deja Who?"(7)
"Delano" (4)
"Diazinon Ditties (2)"
"Dick Clark Top 10(2)"
"Dimmer Switch" (6)
"Dirty Copter" (4)
"Do They Like Kool Aid?"
"Doctor, Mr. MD"(9)
"Dodged a Bullet"(7)
"Dogmobile" (3)
"Dogs Rule"
"Doing the Right Thing"
"Don't Cut My DSL" (5)
"Don't Feed the Animals"
"Dont Touch That Dial"(6)
"Doofus" (9)
"Doohan's Delight" (3)
"Doris Miller" (6)
"Dorothy Rose" (4)
"Double Deal" (6)
"Doubting Thomases" (3)
"Doug Williams"(4)
"Dover" (4)
"Down Below Back Home"(4)
"Downtown Cardinals"(9)
"Dr. Phil" (5)
"Dubai-Bye" (3)
"Dueling Banjos" (3)
"Dumb and Dumber" (3)
"Dumb As We Wanna Be"(3)
"Dumber Than Dirt" (3)
"Dumbest Politico (2)"
"Eager Uighurs" (4)
"Early Admission" (8)
"Eight Nine Four" (4)
"Elect Jeff Jackson"(10)
"Elizabeth I" (5)
"Emily Latella Lives"
"Emperor's Clothes" (2)
"End of the Line"
"Ending Sams Patience"(7)
"Engine Uprisin'" (4)
"Ensign Pulver"(5)
"EOTUS" (5)
"Equinox Approaching"(10)
"Equinoxious" (4)
"Escalator Escalatin'"(5)
"ESP" (6)
"Etchings, Anyone?"(5)
"Ethel Merman Lives"
"Eve, It's Oil!"
"Evenin' Govnah" (6)
"Everyday Miracles"
"Evil Thoughts" (3)
"Eye Opener" (3)
"Eyes of a Gorilla"
"Fair is Fare"(7)
"Falcon" (8)
"Fall Ball" (3)
"Fallin' Behind"(11)
"Falling Apart" (9)
"Fargo Felines" (5)
"Fashionable Frodo" (5)
"Father Ed" (3)
"Faux les Bas" (2)
"Female Insurgency (2)"
"Ferengi or Ferangi?" (3)
"Fergit? Hell No!"
"Film at 11"
"Findin' William"(11)"
"Firing US Attorneys" (3)
"First Freeze" (6)
"First Learn to Lose"
"First National Bank" (5)
"First Sentence" (8)
"Five Easy Pieces" (4)
"Float Yer Boat" (4)
"Flower Power (2)"
"Foe Years Old" (4)
"Follow the Money"
"Followin' Ava" (4)
"For More Years" (3)
"Forbidden Fruit"
"Fords and Dads" (2)
"Foreclosure Follies" (7)
"Foreclosure Notice" (6)
"Forest Primeval"(8)
"Form 666" (3)
"Forms For Everything"(6)
"Foundling Fathers"(7)
"Fourteen Years Ago?"(5)
"Fox Views" (3)
"Frack You" (7)
"Frances Died Today"(7)
"Fred's Dead Head" (3)
"Free at Last"
"Free Hidden Telecast"(4)
"Freedom? Hell No" (3)
"Friend by Your Side" (3)
"Friend by your Side" (4)
"Friendly Persuasion" (5)
"Friends of Bill" (7)
"Frist Friends"
"Frodo and Housman" (2)
"Frodo and Jesus"
"Frodo and Revere?"(7)
"Frodo And Truckers (2)"
"Frodo Dissents" (6)
"Frodo Not Foggo (2)"
"Frodo of Arabia(2)"
"Frodo Op" (5)
"Frodo Regrets"
"Frodo Study Group" (2)
"Frodo visits Bilbo"
"Frodo's Almanac"(9)
"Frodo's Bad Day"
"Frodo's Book Club"(5)
"Frodo's Dilemma" (3)
"Frodo's Faux Pas" (3)
"Frodo's Final Four" (3)
"Frodo's Foreign Policy"
"Frodo's Hall of Fame"(4)
"Frodo's Newer Friend"(6)
"Frodo's Retirement"(8)
"Frodo's Revenge"
"Frodo's Revenge"(7)
"Frodo's Solutions" (6)
"Frodo's Xmas Story"(6)
"Frodo, James Frodo" (3)
"Furriners" (4)
"Gainful Employment" (3)
"Galadriel Is No More"(3)
"Gandalf's Challenge (2)"
"Garland Duesenberry" (2)
"Gas Guzzler A-Go-Go"
"Gasp, Wheeze (2)"
"Gay Faux Holes" (5)
"Genarlow de Chariot" (3)
"Genesis Ignored" (3)
"Geneva Accords Redux"
"Geography Lesson" (3)
"George to the Rescue"(3)
"Georgia on my Mind"(3)
"Getting Your Wish" (3)
"Gidget Goes Gondor"(7)
"Gimme Head With Hair"(3)
"Girls Night Out" (6)
"Give 'em Hell, Tom" (5)
"Give Heath a Chance (2)"
"Give Us Your Tired. . ."
"Giving Way to Anger" (2)
"Glenn Frey"(11)
"Glory Days"
"Goin' Home" (3)
"Gondor Goodfellas"(9)
"Gondor Gravitas" (3)
"Good Cop" (7)
"Good Day America" (6)
"Good Friday It Was"(9)
"Good Friday, Maybe"(11)
"Good Ol Mountain Dew"(5)
"Good Son"
"Goodbye Kids (2)"
"Goodbye, Ethan" (2)
"Goodman is Hard to Find"
"Goose Again"
"GOP Convention" (3)
"Gotta Have a Home (2)"
"Grading on a Curve"
"Graffiti Government" (2)
"Great American Hero"
"Great American Hero" (2)
"Greatest Duet Ever"(6)
"Greed is Good"(5)
"Greetings" (8)
"Grissom not Gruesome"(4)
"Groupies for Edwards"(4)
"Guess We Forgot?"(8)
"Guest Workers (2)"
"Guns of August" (7)
"Guts of August" (3)
"Gwinnett Again?" (3)
"Halo, 1,2,3?" (3)
"Ham I Am" (3)
"Handi-Wipes" (3)
"Hang 'em High" (2)
"Hanky Time, Ladies"
"Happens in Threes"(5)
"Happy Anniversary"(9)
"Happy Mardi Gras"(2)
"Harpo Speaks"
"Harry" (2)
"Harry's Bar-Venice" (2)
"Hawkeye, Redux"(7)
"Haz Mat" (3)
"He Ate the Olive!"(7)
"He is deeply missed (2)"
"He Picks Up Poop?" (5)
"He Took De Bait" (8)
"He's 'Little Ricky'?"(7)
"Healthcare for Frodo"(5)
"Heart Soar Like Hawk"(5)
"Heck of an Engineer"(7)
"Hedge Fund Hippies" (3)
"Heeeerrre's Frodo" (3)
"Heeere's Johnny" (6)
"Heeerrrre's Frodo" (3)
"Hello, Mr. Wilson" (5)
"Hello? Central?" (3)
"Help Wanted"
"Helping Frodo" (4)
"Here Come da Judge" (2)
"Here Come da Judge" (6)
"Here Kitty-Kitty" (4)
"Here Kitty-kitty"(5)
"Here's Help, Now Leave"
"Here's Your Watch" (3)
"Hi Jinx" (5)
"Hide Anythin' Edible"(5)
"High Chair" (2)
"Hobbits And a Truck"(4)
"Hold On Romo" (2)
"Hold the Malaise" (4)
"Honey Dew List"(9)
"Hopalong Frodo"(9)
"Horn of Africa (2)"
"Horse Latitudes" (6)
"Horsehockey" (3)
"Hosea Can You See" (3)
"Hosea Can You See?" (3)
"Hot Tamale" (3)
"Hotel Plimhimmon"(9)
"HOV or DOA?" (3)
"How Dogs Love Us" (10)
"How Many Delegates?"
"How Many Delegates?" (3)
"How Now Broun Cow"(8)
"Hraka" (4)
"Huckleberry Hound" (3)
"Hund Scheisse CSI" (5)
"Hungarian Answer" (4)
"I Believe in Music (2)"
"I can hope, can't I?"(9)
"I Could Cry" (2)
"I Inspired You?"
"I say it's Spinach. . ."
"I'll Get Back to You"(3)
"I'll Huff and Puff" (4)
"I'll Take a Vowel"
"I'm Baaack" (2)
"I'mSo In LoveWithYou"(7)
"Ides of March Again" (4)
"Ides of Texas" (6)
"IED's in Congress" (2)
"If Frodo Ran The DHS"(5)
"If It Ain't OneThing"(5)
"If the truth be told"(6)
"If You Remember,Then"(6)
"If" (6)
"Imagine,General Newt"(6)
"Imitation of Life" (5)
"Immigration Reform (2)"
"In a Galaxy Far Away(2)"
"In a Pig's Eye" (4)
"In Dog We Trust" (10)
"In the Beginning"
"In the Beginning" (3)
"Incomparable Moron" (4)
"Indoor Toilets Rule" (4)
"Intersex Village" (2)
"Interstate Parking (2)"
"Ion Propulsion"(7)
"Iran's Tom Hayden"
"Irish Spring"(3)
"Is it in the Water?"
"Is That in America?" (2)
"Is You da One,Jimmy?"(3)
"Islamic Fundamentals"(8)
"Isn't Amnesty Good?"(3)
"Isn't Change Good?"(6)
"It's A Trap" (6)
"It's Just a Movie"
"It's Just Business"
"Ja, Wir Konnen."
"Jack Crabb" (10)
"Jambo Jumbo" (3)
"Japanese Movie?" (3)
"Je suis Frodo"(10)
"Jefferson Rock" (3)
"Jes' the facts Ma'am"(4)
"Jim Crow" (5)
"Joad Family Reunion?"(6)
"Joad Jobs" (4)
"Joe Soptic" (8)
"Jonestown Redux" (3)
"Jose and Claudia" (4)
"Joshua Generation" (3)
"Just Another Day" (3)
"Just Clearin' Brush"(3)
"Just Desserts (2)"
"Just Desserts" (7)
"Just Say 'Nyet'"(7)
"Just to CU Smile" (5)
"Kandy Kakes 2"
"Ken Meets Jack"
"Key Word Apology" (6)
"Killer's Geraldine" (4)
"Kilowatts Per Mile" (6)
"Kiribati Republic"(6)
"Kirk Saves Nemo"
"Kiss a Girl Goodbye"(2)
"Knew You Not Pompey?"(3)
"Kodak Moment" (2)
"Kool Sailboat" (4)
"Korea, Korea" (2)
"Kudlow's Kreeps"(4)
"Lady of Rohan" (3)
"Land Ho"(8)
"Lean and Hungry " (2)
"Leeward, I Say, Leeward"
"Legs Diamond" (3)
"Legs" (3)
"Leslie" (4)
"Lessons Learned" (2)
"Let Them Eat Cake"
"Let's Bake Cookies" (3)
"Let's Play A Game" (6)
"Letter Home" (6)
"Letter to Lou" (4)
"Liberal Lament" (40)
"Lief, Leaf, or Loaf"(8)
"Life In A Red State"
"Lights of Chicago"
"Like a Barack" (2)
"Limbaugh Hero"(7)
"Lime Bandits" (3)
"Lime is on my side" (6)
"Limestone Cowboys" (3)
"Lip Smackin' Good?"(6)
"Little Big Horn (2)"
"Little Houdini" (5)
"Little Sky"
"Littlest Angel" (2)
"Livin' is Easy?"(7)
"Loans and Deposits" (4)
"Lois, I Never Lie"(8)
"Lonely Avenue" (3)
"Lonesome Frodo" (3)
"Look away Dixieland"(6)
"Look for da Union Label"
"Look Who's Talkin'" (2)
"Lookin' Back, Texas" (3)
"Lost Weekend"(8)
"Low Water, Slow Flow"(3)
"Lox? Or Locks?" (7)
"Lunatic Cattle Call"(8)
"M-G-M Material"
"Ma Bell is Baaack" (3)
"Ma Bell Lives" (7)
"Macaca, Your Macaca" (2)
"Mad Dogs&Englishmen"(6)
"Made You Look" (6)
"Magic Fridge (2)"
"Magic Moments"(7)
"Make Jobs, Not War"(7)
"MaMa's Little Babies"(3)
"Man For All Seasons" (2)
"Man of the Century"
"Man Up, Harry"(6)
"Man's Best Friend?"
"Many happy returns"
"March Forth" (8)
"Marking Time" (3)
"Martyr Magic" (2)
"Marvelous Mac"(8)
"Mary Lee & Genie"(8)
"Master of None" (8)
"May Day, Comrade"(7)
"Maynard G. Krebs" (7)
"Medal of Honor" (6)
"Media is the Message(2)"
"Media Reporting" (6)
"Mental Healthcare" (4)
"Michelle, my Belle"(7)
"Mick's Day"(8)
"Mickey and Me"(6)
"MidSummer Nights Dream"(7)
"Mikileaks" (6)
"Missionary Position" (3)
"Missionary Position" (7)
"Mississipp' Sippin'"(2)
"Mister Roberts" (8)
"Moamar:The Movie"(7)
"Mohair Sam" (5)
"Mon Petit Shoe"(4)
"Monkeys in Mississippi"
"Moody Blue"(7)
"Moody" (7)
"Mooman" (3)
"Moon Over Miami"(4)
"Mooosic" (5)
"Moovin' On Up" (2)
"Mordor or Antarctica?"
"More Than Some" (4)
"Moultrie Poultry" (3)
"Mount Mulch" (2)
"Movin' On Up" (2)
"Mr. Toad's Motorcar (2)"
"Mumbai, My Lord" (4)
"Murtha For President(2)"
"N. Leroy" (7)
"Name That Tune"(4)
"Nascaroil" (4)
"Nat King Cole Sucks"(5)
"NCAA---Blech!" (7)
"Nein, nein, nein"(7)
"Never Doubt Bilbo"
"Never heard of him"
"New Life, Old Leaves"(4)
"Newest Friend"(8)
"Newman's Own" (4)
"Newt/Mitt '12" (3)
"Next Case" (6)
"Next Door Neighbors" (3)
"NFL Commissioner (2)"
"NFL Trade" (3)
"Nielsen Ratings" (2)
"Nine Months PG" (7)
"Nixon Agonistes" (3)
"No Faux News?" (3)
"No Googling Allowed"(4)
"No Humor Today"
"No Peanut Left Behind"
"No Sale" (3)
"No, Not Russian" (4)
"No-No, No" (3)
"Nobody Even Asked"(8)
"Noo Yawk Stateamind"(2)
"Not a Bang,a Whimper"(7)
"Not Funny, Dr Jones"(5)
"Not North Carolina" (6)
"Not Percy Sledge?" (3)
"Not Percy Sledge?"(3)
"Number One" (3)
"Number Please?"(7)
"Number, Please"(8)
"Numbers Don't Lie" (3)
"Numbers Racket" (4)
"Obama Doctrine" (5)
"Obama's Generals"(5)
"October Dreamin'" (4)
"Ode to an Athlete (2)"
"Ogal Preston Crews (2)"
"Oh Kenny Boy (2)"
"Oh the possibilities"(8)
"Oh Ye White Whale" (3)
"Oh, Sadaharu" (2)
"OK Baptist Chorale" (4)
"Old McDonnell's Farm"(7)
"Old Time Baseball"(9)
"Old Times Topic" (6)
"Olympic Changes" (4)
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"Sheep in Mindanao?"
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"Wait 'Til Next Year"(2)A
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"Zounds, you varlet"(4)
Southern Pine Beetles"(4)
The H Word" (6)
Citizens of Middle Earth
The Fellowship of the Ring
The Return of the King
Frodo, Keeper of the Ring
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Hold Me Closer Tiny Dancer And Count The Headlights On The Highway
Mood:  special
Topic: "Black Russians" (6)

There is a picture that Frodo treasures.  Two very pretty young ladies stand arm-in-arm, smiling from head-to-toe, and only an alien from outer space would fail to recognize either the hair or the style of dress; definitely World War II.  Blanche and Bilbo were sisters, and Frodo grew up believing that they had always been the best of friends, and he loved them both.

Blanche was a beauty for all times and places.  Her dark hair, and lollapalooza build was a tribute to whoever it is that first designed the female frame.  She was the first "party girl" that Frodo ever knew, and his relationship to her may have shaped both his respect for women, and his insatiable desire to participate in the chase.

Blanche was famous for always knowing in what location on our small blue planet it happened to already be 5:00 PM.  Most often, she would turn to Frodo and ask him if he were ready for a "Black Russian."  The concoction included, for the uninitiated, Kahlua, which Blanche made by hand and stored in every refrigerator in every house she ever visited.  The major component to her Kahlua was Vanilla, but not just any Vanilla, it had to be "Mexican Vanilla."  Frodo does not know to this day what it is that makes "Mexican Vanilla" different, but the proof is in the combustion.

Long after all the others of a lifetime had gone to bed, Frodo and Blanche would discuss the merits of anything from poetry to, of course "Mexican Vanilla."  Blanche never went beyond the eighth-grade, but she enjoyed Frodo's company and his rant more than anyone.

Frodo's Aunt Blanche slipped from the surly bonds at 9:00 PM this past evening.  Pardon Frodo for  the hour soon approaches on the end of the first day in Frodo's life without her.

Time for a Black Russian.

Not much else to say, is there?

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:59 PM EDT
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Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Lookin' For a Home, Gotta Have a Home
Mood:  quizzical
Topic: "Canaan Conspiracy"(6)

Frodo lumps conspiracy theorists with people who slurp soup from a saucer.  It is anathema for the Hobbit to offer assumptions about that which motivates the actions of others.  What follows, in Hobbit format, is a set of facts, any part of which may be therefore criticized as inadequately documented for a public discourse.  Frodo merely suggests herein to those who, like the Hobbit, wonder why so much brutality is committed in the name of faith.

In 1985, Mr. Kamal Salibi, a citizen of Lebanon, authored a book entitled "The Bible Came From Arabia."  Salibi's credibility as a scholar, enhanced by his knowledge of the language known as "Old Hebrew," was as a challenger to the translations of Saint Jerome.  Jerome had devoted thirty of his years to the translation into Latin of the Old Testament, which is known to History as the Vulgate, and was first published in the Fourth Century before, as we might say, Christ.  It is important to note that the oldest surviving "Old Hebrew" presentation of the Old Testament, known as the Aleppo Codex, dates back another 400 years 

"Old Hebrew" basically disappeared from common usage about a century before Jerome's herculean task commenced.  Jerome's effort was even further hindered by the fact that "Old Hebrew," not unlike modern-day Mandarin Chinese for example, may have different meanings dependent on tone and not spelling.  Many of Jerome's assessments of a written word, absent any tonal presentation, have been routinely challenged for centuries.

Salibi's theorem, and the subject of at least four more books, was that there were significant potential variances in the location of towns and geographic locations cited by Jerome in his translation effort


Abraham was told by God that the land of Canaan would belong to him and then to Isaac as his heir.  The Book of Genesis in the Old Testament references the land passed through Isaac to the Jewish peoples, for all time.  It is the land upon which the modern state of Israel exists.  Salibi argues that the translation does not properly identify the land.  He adds that there is "not one shred of physical evidence" to document the events described in the Old Testament in the territory identified as Israel.  He counter-argues that there is substantial similarity in descriptive language to give credence to the true location as the present border of land upon the Red Sea.

One of the locations described by Salibi is the present-day town known as Asir, which is referenced in the original "Old Hebrew" as part of the land of Canaan.  Asir is located near the Red Sea in the modern-day country of Saudi Arabia.

Salibi states that the Saudis have steadfastly refused all eforts at archeological study of Asir and the surrounding villages.  In fact, many of the areas have subsequently been bulldozed.   Given the dimensional inferences and alternative translations available to this scholar of "Old Hebrew," he asserts that the true land dimensions of the Israeli State would not only include Asir, but the nearby town named Mecca.

Wouldn't that be a hoot?


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:44 PM EDT
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Saturday, May 22, 2010
It's So Easy, One, Two, Three
Mood:  incredulous
Topic: "Comparables" (6)

"If," Frodo asked, "you could pick two others from all of world history with whom you would like to be compared, who would you pick?"

"Well, first of all," said his companion, "what's the point? 

"Because there is so much of it these days.  Politicians liken their opponents to tyrants, athletes are stacked up against heroes of the past, writers are reviewed as the re-birth of cultural icons, so why not take a look at yourself and compare.?"

"Okay, so George W. Bush, for example, could be associated with King John (brother of Richard the Lion-Heart) and Alfred E. Newman?"

"That's good," said Frodo, "not that those would be his choices, but you're getting the idea.  Someone else might suggest 'Wrong Way' Corrigan and Herbert Hoover, while Bush himself might say John Wayne and Jesus of Nazareth."

"Gag me with a spoon."

"Frodo might see himself as associated with Mark Twain and Clark Gable, recognizing that some might see him as more akin to Clarabelle and Homer Simpson."

"Funny.  Give me a couple to associate with Newt Gingrich."

"Oh the possibilities," said Frodo, "what say Huey Long and Fibber McGee?

"I think I'd go for Fatty Arbuckle and Rush Limbaugh."

"Bingo, right on."

"Here's a toughie.  Rand Paul.'

'Louis Farakkhan and Prince Bandahar.'

'Okay.  You'll have to explain that to me.'

'Easy.  Rand Paul is one of only three people to ever agree to, then cancel, a scheduled appearance on 'Meet The Press'.'

'Says a lot.'

'Imagine how he must see himself.'

'Yeah, like maybe Martin Luther and Captain America.'


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:02 AM EDT
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Friday, May 21, 2010
I Know I've Got To Find Some Kind Of Peace Of Mind
Mood:  accident prone
Topic: "Old Times Topic" (6)

If you have heard enough about healthcare reform to last a lifetime, then please feel free to save Frodo for another day, and proceed to another blog.  Otherwise, what follows will give you pause, and add more fuel to your fire.

Bilbo is in the hospital.  Actually, Bilbo is in the hospital, waiting to be discharged, but to where is the question (not to quibble with the Prince of Denmark).  Bilbo is in the last stages of life, but continues to fight the competing onslaught of congestive heart failure, which begets pneumonia, which begets congestive heart failure, which begets pneumonia. . .Frodo assumes the picture is clear.  Bilbo was a beautician in the era of the bouffaint, and many years of hairspray contributed more to her present state than all the cigarettes which ever bore the manufacturers seal of Lorillard & Co.

It has been deemed by medical personnel of all specialty and level of command that she is fit to release unto a facility known as "re-hab."  It is believed that after a couple of weeks, she can return to her regular abode, but that "independent living" will become a phrase of the past, and that "assisted living" will be the facility required ad infinitum.  The bizarreness arises when one realizes that Bilbo was technically released from the hospital two days ago, but she remains there, as a present day "Prisoner of Zenda," one might say.  Bilbo has a "Medicare Advantage Plan," which, in this case, involves the megalith Humana (which bears a striking resemblance to the earlier citation of BP).  Humana took almost three days to be convinced by medical minds and technical wizards that a 92-year-old in Bilbo's state could not be wheeled out to the curb and left to her own devices.  Humana, it seems, is pissed that their fees continue to be reduced by Medicare, and that even with the co-pay to which they agreed, there is reason to have their accountants search for reasons not to meet their obligations.

There is a weight upon Frodo's shoulders.  He has also learned more about the mess that ensnarls us all than he had ever dreamed he would know.  After all the folderol, Frodo truly wishes that every resident of the State of Texas, and Rand Paul, someday (if not immediately) come under the aegis of a "Medicare Advantage Plan" that dumps them curbside, too.

Note also that Doctor Rand Paul is FOR the portion of the changes to Medicare that add to the guarantees paid to physicians.

At this point, InHumana (note Frodo's editorial spelling) has finally acquiesed, but it is now Friday, past quitting time.  The result being that Bilbo needlessly stays in the hospital until at least Monday--and since Bilbo is a "Medicare patient," that means that the bills are paid by you, and by Frodo.  It is as if this was an intentional act in order to vent their outrage at losing the fight.

Every battle is costly, and Frodo eats less and drinks more.  Have patience, dear reader, if you look and he's not there.  The keyboard comes last.


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 11:05 PM EDT
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Thursday, May 20, 2010
People Walkin' Up To Ya, Singing 'Glory Hallelujah," Never Meanin What They Say Now, Never Sayin' What They Mean
Mood:  loud
Topic: "Thank You Rand Paul"

Every once in a while Frodo needs to be reminded about who he is, and what he happens to believe.  He was reminded last night by a guy Frodo calls a "Librarian."  Librarians are perfectly logical people, witness the Dewey Decimal System, who present themselves as authority figures in a controlled environment.  Their predisposition is that all of society is merely one big library, and the librarian serves only to maintain order.  Who enters the library is of no concern to the librarian, unless it is someone whom the librarian feels justified in excluding.  No one, ever, questions the right of the librarian to make that decision.

Frodo has always wondered about that person who is excluded from the library. 

When Frodo was 12 years old, the McLean Baptist Church adopted a new Constitution.  A question was raised about the passage whuch stated that the "Church exercised the right to refuse service to anyone."  The librarian explained that some people may not be properly attired, or had not adequately cleaned themselves, thereby making them offensive to their neighbors in the McLean Baptist Church.

Frodo wondered, perhaps for the first time, WWJD?  Frodo decided that such a conclusion was above his pay-grade, so he stepped out the door of the McLean Baptist Church one more time, and never since that day has he crossed back inside. 

When Frodo was 15 years old, he went to the Virginia State High School Debate Finals held on the idyllic surroundings of America's most beautiful university.  On the way back home, the bus stopped by a wayside diner, that really was retired train car, to allow the all-white passengers to enter for burgers and shakes.  Bobbie Howard, who was dating one of Frodo's best friends stood outside, and would not enter.  Frodo was not aware of her concern until he saw the sign on the door, which read "Management Reserves the Right to Refuse Service to Anyone."  Frodo, Bobbie, and the bus driver, were the only ones who stayed outside. 

Some years later, on a night when Frodo had two tickets and no date, Frodo took Bobbie to a play, and when he walked her to the front door of her home, she kissed him.  She said, "Thank you for sitting with me outside that diner that night."

Frodo never knew the bus driver's name, and he doesn't remember even speaking to him as he got off the bus, but he remembers the smile, and the fingers touching the brim of his cap.

It is too bad that Rand Paul never got to know Bobbie Howard.  But the worst part is that he probably has no knowledge of the names Schwerner, Chaney, or Goodman. 

Librarians suck.


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:58 PM EDT
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Wednesday, May 19, 2010
I Don't Like Spiders And Snakes
Mood:  on fire
Topic: "Boycott BP"

Frodo has a few questions.  Why aren't we refusing to purchase British Petroleum products?  Who in the name of good sense agreed to a "cap" on damages to be paid by oil companies in the event of a catastrophic oil spill?  Why aren't the tides carrying all of this crap right onto the beaches of Texas?  Why haven't we, as a nation, set a deadline for British Petroleum to shut off the leak or to suffer the consequence of a government nationalization?  And whatever happened to Sarah Palin?

Does anyone doubt that nationalizing their multi-billion dollar profit might change their priorities?  Is there anyone who is satisfied with their planning, their response to the disaster, or even their attitude?  Frodo is suggesting that we give these executives 48 hours, and not a minute more.  All we have to do is declare a National Emergency, and do something similar to the actions taken by President Truman when he nationalized an entire industry.

Hasn't anyone considered a whole bunch of big fans, pointing west, right toward the Houston Ship Channel?  That place was so polluted by oil leaks for decades that the surface of the water burned continuously for months on end.  So why not send the problem right back to the tax-dodging, reactionary hypocrites with names like Hunt, Bush, and Graham who have been giving each other tax breaks and crippling any effort to regulate their own passage to Valhalla?

Why hasn't somebody printed a list of every member of Congress who ever voted to support a "cap" on oil company liability?  We've heard from Snarkowski, Republican of Alaska, and that Republican dork from Okiehomey named Incontinent, who have argued that failure to maintain such a "cap" would hurt "mom and pop" oil companies.  Holy Moley, and nobody, and Frodo means nobody, has stood up, undid a belt, turned around, and "mooned" either of them.   How blatant do they have to be?  They think, like Sarah Palin, that if they just recite enough words, we will get bored and go away.

Not Frodo.

Pass it around.  Don't buy BP.  Go to any other gasoline station.  Ride a bike.  Do anything, but don't give them a damn dime until they stop the leaks.

Don't buy BP.

Your life depends on it.




Posted by loveysdaddyga at 11:20 PM EDT
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Thursday, May 13, 2010
If She Gives Me A Sign That She Wants To Make Time
Mood:  amorous
Topic: "Chemical Alley" (6)

Frodo seems to be the targeted recipient of an expanding marketing effort by organizations attempting to foster the sale of certain goods and services.  Erectile Dysfunction and the length of his penis seem to have gotten the attention of people totally unknown to the Hobbit (admittedly, his memory is not flawless in this regard).  To the best of Frodo's recollection however, neither of these have been subjects discussed by or with anyone since pre-pubesence.   What then do these guys know, and when did they find out about it?

First of all, Frodo, even without chemical additives, would immediately call a physician if he experienced more than four hours in a priaptic state.  Frodo has neither the knowledge nor the curiosity to attend to the experiences of the competition, living or dead.  If the intent of this sales effort is to encourage the Hobbit to purchase products which replace or supplement that which still comes to him naturally, although he has questions about who will need, much less feed, him once he turns 64, then Frodo can only conclude that Mark Penn is the genius behind this.  He is probably still pissed that Frodo failed to endorse Mrs. Clinton.

There is an old expression about showing me yours if I show you mine.  Frodo has applied this in jest to old friends, with spouses whom he has never met.  Exclusive of that, the only other instances in which this becomes an item of scrutiny is in the openness of the locker room.  Frodo, as the smallest of Hobbits was very sensitive to this joint exposure in his first appearances in this public forum.  Surely, in those days, Frodo would have spared no expense in the effort to improve his self-perceived competitive equality.  With the passage of time however, Frodo is more concerned about remembering to pack his flip-flops thereby lessening the potential for athlete's foot (not a STD, as best science has so far determined). 

Frodo believes these advertisements and their mailing lists come from the same companies who kept sending him postage stamps from Andorra when he was twelve years old.  He probably bought a few, and these guys figured to never let this sucker get away.  In the effort to intimidate those deluging him with such correspondence, Frodo may have used the pseudonym of a former gangster slain by the famed FBI Agent, Melvin Purvis.

There is an answer to every problem.


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:27 PM EDT
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Wednesday, May 12, 2010
And They All Went To Heaven In A Little Rowboat
Mood:  smelly
Topic: "Terre Bonne" (6)

Frodo has quite an imagination.  He now imagines himself as an Indian Warrior, standing helplessly as smallpox ravages his tribe, accepting the inevitable.  The analogy to a Hobbit peering upon the Gulf of Mexico, knowing that the petrochemical poisons come closer with every change of tide, weighs heavily on his mind.

The Indian Warrior is able to cradle a small head in his hands, and to offer some comfort to one who dies too young.  Frodo watches the best of us as they clean the wings and cage the surviving innocents for transit to land unsullied. 

The Indian Warrior will dance and pray to Manitou in a vain effort to halt the evil spirits that bring pestilence to those who committed no crime.  Frodo sees the untiring effort of fishermen, soldiers, inmates, among us all who seek to clear the surface waters while prayers pass to the wind.

The Indian Warrior will long ignore the pustules that develop on his own body, but he, too, will succumb to the irritation upon his skin.  His life's blood will soon ooze and fall in droplets beneath his feet.  Frodo can almost smell the burnt aroma of the tar that gathers on the hazmat suits which cannot be washed away.  It coats the land which was formed by the land, and carried to meet the tide beneath the feet of those labor in this spot.

Fresh in Frodo's memory is the tragedy that last struck the City of Orleans, when the suffering was greatest among those born of servitude and raised in the solace of their own.  For now it is that those of pale complexion, who reside in lands closed to those from outside, must bear the weight of an end to life as they have known it.  It is as if there is a balance therein, and scales level the catastrophe from one to another.

The Indian Warrior and the Hobbit are not alone.  Others, before, have walked on this good earth, and surely, others will follow.  It is Terrebonne Parish upon which the plague descends, the good earth.       

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:33 PM EDT
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Friday, May 7, 2010
Cisco Kid Was A Friend Of Mine
Mood:  quizzical
Topic: "Startin'fromScratch"(6)

Rare it is that Frodo fails to possess a dominant concern about the state of the world, and rarer still that his synapses are stifled by a malignant myeloma at every turn.  This is such a night, and Frodo pounds a keyboard as if he knew with what the next sentence will begin, and truthfully he has no clue.  With his Title as inspiration, Frodo will astound some, antagonize others, and perhaps say something that will help put something into focus for all of us.

Frodo does not know what his position is on immigration reform.  What he does know is that there are an awful lot of poor and hungry people in this world, and they all seem to want to leave where they are and to go somewhere where the opportunity for three square meals per day is enhanced.  Central Americans knock on the door, or tunnel under it, and head North.  Central Europeans pack themselves into automobiles similar to those once used by employees of Barnum & Bailey, and head North.  Middle Easterners utilize a combination of agrarian and pedestrian resources in order to arrive in geographical dispersions ending in "Stan," "Ance," or "Tain."  Central Africans die before they get there, or they are killed while sitting in tents, waiting to die.  Central Asians are victims of earthquakes, which explains why they smioke so many cigarettes.

With all this movement about our small, blue planet, it seems so illogical that we have no plan for handling the millions of people who have slipped across the borders of the United States.  Didn't we handle the millions of Africans so easily assimilated into our society, says Frodo, in a mere 291 years?  Ed. Note:  Frodo assumes that the beginning point is 1719, the "Red Letter Year" specified in his fourth-grade Virginia History Book.  Italians and the Irish became instant players in the growth of metropolitan establishments like Toledo, Las Vegas, and Newark.  And what about the Japanese?  We even provided them with free housing.

So why can't we accept the fact that these non-English speaking vagabonds are simply a repeat of the orange-pickers from Oklahoma who descended upon California in the 1930's?  The "Okies" didn't speak English either (Frodo defies any reader to translate "Boomer Sooner.")  In fact, the only people who seemed to get out of whack with Tom Joad and company were residents of a couple of Western States.  So maybe this makes the current unpleasantness their problem, and not Frodo's.

Besides, the residents of Arizona are all over 80 and have nothing else to bitch about (except the cost of caskets).

Not bad for not having a clue when this monstrosity commenced, eh what?



Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:49 PM EDT
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Tuesday, May 4, 2010
I Guess I'll Never Know The Reason You Love Me Like You Do
Mood:  blue
Topic: "Mickey and Me"(6)

He was born on Mother's Day.  Our eyes met for the first time in the garage where he lived with his Mother, and one remaining sibling.  He walked up to Frodo and promptly sat down on his foot.  Sam said, "Well young man, it looks as if the decision has been made."

Frodo has been known to recommend movies, songs, books, but he has never before taken keyboard in hand in order to warn others away from something that he truly did enjoy.  The movie "Marley and Me" was viewed in the Shire last evening.  Frodo and Sam were joined by Fiona and Mick, the Wonder Dog, in an assembly of eight eyes at various levels of intensity as the light shadows danced upon the screen.  Jennifer Aniston, late of the cognomen Pitt, was Frodo's initial interest in the flick, and her performance of Post-Partum Depression was too real to be accepted with comfort.  Alan Arkin and Kathleen Turner both supplied supporting roles, but Frodo was concentrating on the characters in the title.  Frodo noticed that Mick, the Wonder Dog, moved restleely as he watched the screen at the familiar foot of Frodo.

Perhaps it started with "Old Yeller," but every dog movie that contains the demise of the canine hero has been constructed around an act of violence.  Not so with "Marley and Me," and that is what made the movie special for last night's attendees.  The movie encompasses the writing career of the protagonist, and the dog who joined the happy newly-wed couple.  The story includes the birth of children, and reaches beyond the 40th birthday of the one who plays "Me."  Age is the enemy of relationships such as these, and it is that necessary, but humane, end, which brought sobs from Sam and an open look upon the soul of Frodo for all the world to see.

When the movie concluded, Frodo set about the nightly plan for liquid waste removal for the groggy Fiona, and Mick, the Wonder Dog.  Two tarried, as if they needed a few moments together, simply to let each other know that they felt the same way.  Both have some arthritis and dead sprints across the gardens are a thing of the past for them both.  The moment concluded only after he walked up to Frodo and respectfully sat down on his foot.

Frodo has had a little brother for thirteen years now, and in each of those days he has known just how important he is, and that there is one who appears to enjoy what he has to say.  He is, indeed, a wonder.  


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 11:00 PM EDT
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