Frodo, Keeper of the Ring

Saturday, June 9, 2012

When I Grow Up to be a Man, What Will I be
Mood:

incredulous
Topic: "Selective Service"(8)

Frodo has been thinking about the greatest athletes of his time. Edwin Moses, Hershall Walker, Secretariat, and Muhammad Ali are four random names that deserve consideration, although another objective observer may omit all of Frodo's suggestions for various reasons. One of the reasons just might deal with the issue of national service.

"I ain't got nothin' against them Cong" were the words formulated by he once known as Cassius Clay after adopting the Islamic Faith and the name, Muhammad Ali. The words were mouthed once it became clear that the United States Government was going to prosecute him for failure to enter military service. Ali's barristers argued that his newly-adopted religious consciousness prevented him from taking arms.

Ali's action resulted in both the administrative loss of his title as "Heavyweight Champion of the World," and his subsequent imprisonment. Once his punishment was served, Ali returned to the ring and won back the championship title. He truly became, as a result of his actions, the most famous man in the world. It was Ali, standing alone, who lit the Olympic Torch in order to open the 1996 Summer Games, in Atlanta.

Frodo waxes on the transition from athletics to conscience because of the price that Ali paid for his beliefs. At the time, even Frodo believed that he deserved to be stripped of his title, and punished for failing to bear arms in service to the nation that gave him, in spite of massive countercurrents, the path to greatness. Now, Frodo feels otherwise.

Ali was targeted for racial and religious reasons. His perceived arrogance was a major frustration for the Luddite elements of his time. This Frodo truly believes. For how else can one explain the fact that Willard Mitt Romney failed to bear arms in service to his country and received no penalty or prosecution for his religious consciousness? Romney, as most know, received "deferrals" in order to serve as a "missionary." Perhaps this was Romney's way of saying that he "didn't have anything against them Cong," either?

There is no doubt that Muhammad Ali was a greater athlete than Willard Mitt, as there is certainly an absence of argument to the fact that he is a better citizen and champion of his beliefs. Just ask the Romney off-spring, who serve no one.

The apple, it seems, does not fall far from the tree.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 11:23 AM EDT

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Saturday, June 2, 2012

In My Midnight Confessions
Mood:

irritated
Topic: "Land Ho"(8)

Richard Land is a corpulent, flatulent, obsequious, sorry-ass excuse for anything beyond the definition of what was once affectionately referred to as a "turd blossom." Frodo is not alone in his revulsion for the "ethics chief" of the Southern Baptist Convention, especially after Land was caught in the act of plagiarism.

Richard Land accused the President of the United States, and other black leaders, of shamefully exploiting the death of Trayvon Martin for purely political gain. Now, Frodo does not decry anyone's opinion, even when subjectively incorrect, as long as it adds to the judicial discourse between people who respect one another. In the case of Mr. Land however, it is clear that he may have to refer back to the spelling lesson offered by Aretha Franklin in order to project any level of respectful dialogue. Mr. Land's opinion and attack on the President it seems, was copied word-for-word from an editorial in the WASHINGTON TIMES. An editorial in which Mr. Land was not a contributor.

This overweight, obnoxious, belligerent, cowardly piece of crap did not have the courage, much less the moral compass to formulate his own words. To the credit of the "Board of Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission," of which he is Chairman, Land was reprimanded and his radio show was canceled.

Now he should be fired. And that is the opinion of one Hobbit who is worried about anyone losing a job, except for a liar. Wouldn't it be great if David Gregory had the balls to bring the toad onto "Meet the Press," and offer him some grape juice?

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:57 PM EDT

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Thursday, May 24, 2012

You Lay Your Bets And You Take Your Chances
Mood:

blue
Topic: "Pulitzer Means Squat"(8)

Frodo sat down with Mr. Charles Ferguson, Editor of the New Orleans Times-Picayune, and discussed the impact of political endorsements by a major metropolitan newspaper. Since this was the theme of Frodo's Master's Thesis, he was hoping to discover that Ferguson was a hack, on somebody's payroll, and that Frodo would win a Pulitzer Prize for his investigative effort therein. Frodo learned that Ferguson was a Neiman Fellow, and an Honors Graduate of Harvard University. He was also a good guy, a brilliant journalist, and somebody who loved the City of Orleans just as much as the Hobbit.

Frodo thought of Mr. Ferguson this day. It was announced yesterday that the New Orleans Times-Picayune would only be hard-copy published three times each week. The City is now the only, but perhaps merely the first, major metropolitan market in all of Middle Earth to be without a daily newspaper. Surely, the powers that be are strenuous in their argument that on-line publishing will be constant, and that the flow of information will be instantaneous, but that does not satisfy the Hobbit at all.

The New Orleans Times Picayune won a Pulitzer Prize for its 2006 reporting of the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. Without power, water, or public services nearly the entire staff stayed at their desks, answered questions, and sought answers. They were notified, after the fact, yesterday, that nearly all of them will either lose their jobs, or have their work-hours significantly reduced.

The New Orleans States-Item, the afternoon daily newspaper, was acquired by the Times-Picayune several years ago. The States-Item was the only major metropolitan newspaper to endorse George McGovern for the Presidency in his race against Richard Nixon. Now a Pulitzer Prize winning newspaper, and the subordinate segment which first saw the devil in that drawing room are changed, if not something totally different.

Frodo is well-known, and oft-quoted, for his proclamation that "Change is Good." He wonders however, in this case, if he isn't witness to the creation of merely another 24-hour cable news network. Could there be another whole group of attractive talking-heads out there, eager to make a name for themselves by seeing which can yell the loudest, or speak over the conversation most often, to further separate the citizen from any level of interest in the community in which they all live? Perhaps that gentleman at the table in the back of the bar, sipping a glass of single-malt, is thinking about that graduate student he once met, wondering whatever happened to him. Ferguson probably hopes that the Hobbit went on to become a personal care physician, in Taiwan.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 3:05 PM EDT

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Tuesday, May 22, 2012

You Make My Dreams Come True
Mood:

spacey
Topic: "Falcon" (8)

"The time will come when diligent research will bring to light things which now lie hidden. A single lifetime, even though devoted entirely to the sky, would not be enough for the investigation of so vast a subject. . .And so this knowledge will be unfolded only through long successive ages. There will come a time when our descendants will be amazed that we did not know things that are so plain to them. . .Many discoveries are reserved for ages still to come, when memory of us will have been effaced. Out universe is a sorry little affair unless it has in it something for every age to investigate. . .Nature does not reveal her mysteries once and for all."--From the first century, Book 7 of 'Natural Questions' authored by he known as Seneca.

The United Federation of Planets it was which Frodo accepted as that beyond his time, which would go where no man has gone before. Surely, it would be a governmental body, lead by its best and its brightest soldiers and scientists, who would unite in the conquest of the 400 billion stars that comprise the Milky Way. To his great embarrassment, the Hobbit made an assumption too big to fail.

Armstrong and Cernan were among those who testified before the Congress of the United States (certainly a come-down from the United Federation of Planets) in order to maintain the status quo of NASA and the superiority of Middle Earth in Space. In the end, it was the resources of a South African named Musk who, though chagrined by his heroes and their opposition to his private enterprise that won the day, and set a non-governmental business to the forefront of the cosmos.

It is as we have become. The incentive for exploration can no longer simply be in the search for truth, it requires that there be investors, who seek a return, and that all effort be driven by their motive. Perhaps Columbus, appearing before the crowned heads felt much the same way, knowing that he would have to return with something of value, as well as an opening to the future of all mankind.

Still, it will be oh so strange to see the surface of Mars, and the logo of Lockheed where our flag might have been.

Engage.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:42 PM EDT

Updated: Wednesday, May 23, 2012 11:42 AM EDT

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Monday, May 21, 2012

I Mean It From The Bottom Of My Heart
Mood:

cool
Topic: "American Cemetery"(8)

Frodo long ago made himself a promise to someday walk through the American Cemetery above the Beaches at Normandy. In the interim, he has another visit to another cemetery on the agenda, and it isn't that far away.

The British Cemetery at Ocracoke, North Carolina, is 2,290 square feet of British territory on American soil. HMS Bedfordshire, a fishing trawler converted to an escort ship for convoy duty, was sunk by the German U-558 on May 11, 1942, and the entire crew was lost. Three days later, bodies began to wash ashore at Ocracoke.

More than 400 ships were lost to German U-Boats during those dreadful days in the first six months of 1942. Returning the crew of the Bedfordshire to their own Shire was not possible. The crew was buried in a corner of the Ocracoke cemetery, and the land was later deeded to the Commonwealth War Grave Commission. Technically, the crew was buried on home ground. The grounds are maintained by the US Coast Guard, and the "Union Jack" flies, proudly, over her sons.

Twice, British and Americans fought on the soil in which these men now rest. A lot to think about for the Hobbit.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:49 AM EDT

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Saturday, May 19, 2012

Give Me The Hot Stuff Baby Tonight
Mood:

on fire
Topic: "Rocks Rox"(8)

Santa Ana, California, is not very far from Camp Pendleton. The passing of Donna Summer was perhaps noted in a truly bizarre manner by a lady walking on the beach, who happened to stop and pick up a few colorful stones and place them in her pants pocket. Suddenly, she was on fire.

Frodo is certainly familiar with hot pants, and he is not so old that he fails to recall the sheer joy involved in the downing of a pair of pants. Especially, hot pants.

Geologists have examined the stones and determined that one was laced with phosphorous, and that the resulting friction with another stone in the pants pocket of the unfortunate surfside stroller lit the rock as if it were, and it certainly was, a match. Fortunately, her husband was nearby and the pants removal was ably performed within the ideological confines of even the Southern Baptist Convention. The bad news is that the lady suffered third-degree burns and is confined to a hospital for at least a week.

Frodo is of two minds. In the first case Frodo notes that no scientist or medical practitioner has stepped forward to note that anything like this has ever happened before. Military officials have also flatly denied that the rock could've been artificially created at their facility. The possibility exists therefore that this lady could truly be, well, hot.

It could also be the case that this is just one more episode in the on-going Republicant "War on Women."

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:31 PM EDT

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Sunday, May 13, 2012

Rainy Days And Mondays Always Get Me Down
Mood:

crushed out
Topic: "Mick's Day"(8)

Fifteen years ago, on this very day, Mother's Day, Mick, the Wonder Dog, was among a legion of puppies introduced onto this small, blue planet. Several weeks later only two of the Australian Shepherd-Border Collie mix remained under the direct supervision of their mother. His sibling was nearly all white, with black splotches, while Mick, the Wonder Dog, was just the opposite. It is likely that the dwindling number of playmates was weighing heavily on his mind. Possible it is that he was concerned about ever being adopted into a world of his own making. Perhaps that is why he took note of Frodo's visit to the garage that had always been his home, and why he scampered to the Hobbit and promptly sat down on his foot, as if he were saying "Where the Hell have you been and why did it take so long, but no matter, let's go for a ride in your motorcar."

So it began.

Today, again on Mother's Day, Mick, the Wonder Dog, begins every day with the same fervor and sense of purpose that guided him toward that worn-out sneaker upon the foot of a Hobbit a near lifetime ago. Their adventures together have been chronicled far and wide, and near strangers frequently ask of him whenever the Hobbit is found in transit, alone. Frodo explains that a second stage cancer, the pulling of eleven teeth, and the recent demise of his lifelong playmate, Princess Fiona, have weakened the endurance of his noble companion. Usually, Frodo adds that it is now time for the post-breakfast nap, the pre-luncheon nap, the pre-dinner nap, or the post-dinner nap. Truth it is that Frodo speaks, for his companion is unable to tarry long on paths well-travelled in days gone by. Strength is preserved to serve the toothless smile, and the familiar nose-to-the-crotch of a Hobbit, his favorite game.

Mick, the Wonder Dog, has developed a fondness for a handfull of dry Cheerios in the early morning. Samwise mixes an egg into his dinner every afternoon. Properly tuned with more recommended culinary input, the Wonder Dog has good appetite, evacuates healthily, and occasionally leaps a few steps toward the Hobbit as if to say let's go for another ride in that motorcar.

Frodo relishes these days and small matters of routine. It is when it is rainy, and perhaps a bit cool, however, when the Hobbit is struck by moments of melancholy. Such days are preferred by the Wonder Dog, since hot weather is something endured by one with a heavy coat.

Doctor Porsches, the wealthy veterinarian, counseled Frodo that Mick, the Wonder Dog, for the first time in his life, has become the Alpha. He has recommended that Frodo add to the menagerie of the Shire only when he is sure that such an addition would not add to the emotional baggage carried by one whose psychological status is partially responsible for his strong heart, and his continuing struggle for normalcy. Frodo agrees. So Frodo goes on walks alone most days, but he doesn't stop talking to his old friend.

Rainy days are just days for thinking about such things.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 12:19 PM EDT

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Friday, May 11, 2012

I've Forgotten What I Started Fighting For
Mood:

on fire
Topic: "ERA"

Bilbo was very fond of reminding Frodo that "What goes around, comes around." When the Equal Rights Amendment failed, by the slimmest of margins, to win acceptance by the requisite number of States, Bilbo soothed the torn emotions of the Hobbit with those favored words.

Frodo thought that was bullshit.

How, he wondered, could there be any question that a responsible adult could experience life in Middle Earth with anything other than rights equal to any of their fellow citizens? How, indeed? Bilbo answered that certain things are understood, and that the absence of something written is not a big problem.

Frodo thought that was bullshit, too.

More than 40 years have passed, and now the "leader" of one of the two most significant of political parties in all the Shire wants to see a "Constitutional Amendment" to ban equal rights in marriage.

Presumably, Bilbo's rejoinder to Frodo reflects a movement of 180 degrees, as opposed to a complete turnaround of equal justice or 360 degrees, under the law. Despite the wisdom of our President, it will be many, many years before Bilbo's error is rectified, and an Amendment is passed, insuring that all Americans have equal rights.

ERA, it is way past time.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 5:46 PM EDT

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Wednesday, May 9, 2012

I'm a Loser, And I'm Not What I Appear to Be
Mood:

lazy
Topic: "Roads Scholar" (8)

"Mr. Frodo, is it true that you only played baseball for one year while matriculating at the College of the Shire"?

"That is correct."

"May I ask why?"

"Blame it on Cecil B. Rhodes."

"As in Rhodes Scholarships?"

"Frodo had come to the realization that there had never been a Rhodes Scholar from the College of the Shire, so he decided to give it a try?"

"No kidding?"

"As you know, a Rhodes Scholarship, for study at Oxford, is awarded based on a balance, if you will. Rhodes Scholars excel in the classroom, on the playing fields, in the arts, while exhibiting true leadership potential. Bill Clinton, Bill Bradley, Rachel Maddow, Pete Dawkins, and many other familiar names have all been Rhodes Scholars."

"So, did Frodo win?"

"No, he gave up."

"What?"

"Well, Frodo had the grades, even achieving straight A's upon occasion, he played on the baseball team, he was elected to the presidency of his fraternity and to the student legislature, he served as editor of the college newspaper, he participated in overseas study in Germany, he received an assistantship for graduate study at Tulane University and he was a genuine BMOC at the College of the Shire."

"So. . ."

"Frodo 'mailed in' his final year, simply because he was convinced that he was about to be drafted into the armed forces, and ordered to Southeast Asia."

"Frodo gave up baseball as well?"

"Frodo figured that if he only had another year or two, he wasn't going to waste his time 'practicing' anything. If he was going to fight in a war he believed to be wrong, or if he decided to leave his homeland forever, then it was going to be on his terms. His arrogance came through loud and clear."

"Looking back now, how does Frodo feel about bailing out?"

Sometimes, on a rainy day, melancholy rises to expectant levels. It is in such a time that Frodo discloses something he never before shared, with anyone. Disappointments, it seems, last forever if we let them, and he misses playing baseball more and more everyday.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 11:14 AM EDT

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Monday, April 30, 2012

I'd Like To Know Where You Got The Notion
Mood:

incredulous
Topic: "Nobody Even Asked"(8)

Thus ends the first third of the year 2012. Since it is an election year, it is expected that the depth of the political faux pas will grow like a tomato in the spring sunshine. What frightens Frodo is that what is truly relevant is overshadowed by the trivial. An example, in truth, follows.

Those opposed to what is conveniently labeled as "Obamacare" have long argued that the project is wrong-headed. The free-market, it is alleged, will enter the fray when insurance companies have the opportunity to compete for business in states other than those in which they are housed. Said competition will help to lower prices, especially for those unable to obtain health insurance at work.

Well now, a logical argument, "Based on what?", Frodo asks.

Not much, it seems.

Georgia is one of five states that have already passed the requisite legislation to allow out-of-state insurance companies to offer product for sale across state lines.

Funny that you didn't know that, eh dear reader?

Funnier it is because there has not been one, nary any at all, to even apply to Georgia, or to any of the other legislative enactees, seeking authorization to compete across state lines. Apparently, it isn't the all-consuming profit monster the Republicants claimed.

Where could the all-seeing Republicants have screwed up this time?

"Nobody has even asked to be approved to sell across state lines. We're dumbfounded. We are absolutely dumbfounded," said Georgia Insurance Commissioner Ralph Hudgens. Hudgens a "conservative Republican" further said "I'm really surprised because it was such a bumper sticker issue by Republicans saying if we could get across state line selling, we could reduce the cost of health care."

Post-hypnotic party supplicants argue now that there is a fear that individual states will then have to regulate not only insurance companies housed in their state, but they will also hold regulatory authority over the out-of-state competition.

Frodo has a more obvious answer. The insurance companies are just figuring out how many palms they will have to grease should they take on customers serviced by another state legislature. Imagine if you will, dear reader, the Georgia State Legislature, masters of Republican sleight-of-hand, requesting a "fee increase" in Georgia, in order to "facilitate" the sale of health insurance coverage to individuals in Alabama. The words are "pay" and "off." And nobody's rates go down, unless you count the loss of women's healthcare services.

Old southern men, for the most part, just suck.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:13 PM EDT

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