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" Citizen Soldiers" (5)
" Putin' Out" (5)
" Thin Ice"(9)
""I Ain't Got Much" (5)
""Soft Memories" (7)
"$100, Are You Sure?" (5)
"0 Preservative Added"(2)
"105 Minute Workday"(9)
"16 Percent Factor"(3)
"176,000,000 to 1"(8)
"26 Damn Dollars"(6)
"3 Percent Turnout" (2)
"37 Come 11" (5)
"3:10 to Yuma" (7)
"50 Weeks of Reality TV"
"501 (c)(4)"
"54 Pounds" (8)
"8.8 Pounds"(6)
"A Capitol Idea" (6)
"A Code in My Node"
"A Course is a Course"(2)
"A Day At The Beach" (3)
"A Dog Named Bo" (5)
"A Hobbit of an Idea"
"A Man's Army"
"A Patriot Act" (7)
"A Patriotic Act"
"A Perfect World"
"A soldier booed?'(7)
"A Space Odyssey" (4)
"A Taxing Story" (5)
"A Thousand Campfires"(4)
"A Three Hour Tour"(8)
"A Touch of Class"(5)
"A Waisted Day" (5)
"A Woman Scorned"
"Aagh,I'll Pay,I'll Pay"
"Abe Wong, of Gondor"(5)
"Act I, Scene I" (8)
"Act I, Scene II" (8)
"Act I, Scene III" (8)
"Adjustable 2nd Card"(3)
"Adjusting Policies"
"Adjusting the Clock"(8)
"Aegean Adventure" (2)
"Ah ah ah Stayin' Alive"
"Airline Highway" (5)
"Alan Scott" (7)
"All Aboard"
"All Bets Are In" (2)
"All Charged Up"
"All Good Things" (4)
"Allah Be Praised" (5)
"Almost Heaven" (2)
"Alpha Dog"(7)
"Alright, Who Did It?"(7)
"Also Sprach Frodo" (4)
"Always Wear Gloves" (3)
"AM Radio Next?"
"America's Toilet" (6)
"American Cemetery"(8)
"An Admission"
"An Apple A Day" (7)
"An Hour A Day" (6)
"An Ugly American"(4)
"Anchorman" (6)
"And the Winner Is" (2)
"Andy Griffith Redux"
"Another Single Woman?"
"Another Three-namer"(5)
"Another Time/Place"(4)
"Anvil Throwin' Time"(8)
"Apocalypse Now?" (3)
"Aragorn" (4)
"Armored Dildos" (3)
"As Far As We Know" (2)
"Ask Ann Landers" (3)
"Assembly LineDancing"(4)
"Astronaughty" (2)
"Atlanta Times Three"
"Augmentation" (2)
"Augustus Agonistes" (5)
"Aurora Borealis" (8)
"Autumnal Observances"(2)
"Avast You Lubbers"(6)
"Baby Doctors (2)"
"Baby Fiona"(7)
"Baby Nathan Yahoo"(10)
"Back Door Basra (2)"
"Back inthe Saddle Again"
"Bad Boys, Bad Boys"
"Bad Time for Bonzo" (3)
"Balance of Nature" (3)
"Balance of Payments"(5)
"Balancing the Budget"
"Ballamer" (4)
"Bang the Drum Slowly"
"Bank Prank" (5)
"Baptists are Pussies"(7)
"Barbed Wire Escape (2)"
"Barbie Banditos" (3)
"Barely Bearble"(7)
"Barely Defensible" (2)
"Barry Me Not (2)"
"Bathroom onna Right"(3)
"Beach Music" (7)
"Because It Is Hard" (4)
"Beechwood 4-5789"(6)
"Belling the Cat" (2)
"Ben McGee" (3)
"Benny and the Jets"(5)
"Berlusconi in Love"(6)
"Best be straight Boy"(5)
"Best Day/Worst Day"(6)
"Best in the South" (5)
"Best in the World?"(5)
"Betray Us" (3)
"Bettah than Etta"(4)
"Better Man" (3)
"Better Than Pong"
"Big Time Sports" (3)
"Big Words,LittleMind"(6)
"Bilbo's Birthday (2)"
"Bilbo's Little Boy"(5)
"Bilbo's Revenge" (5)
"Bill and Hillary (2)"
"Billy World" (2)
"Bimini Babes" (3)
"Bird is the Word" (3)
"Birmingham Jail" (5)
"Birthday Baggins"
"Birthday Buddies" (7)
"Birthday Memory" (4)
"Birthin' No Babies" (3)
"Bishop to King's Castle"
"Black Friday" (2)
"Black Gold, Texas Tea"
"Black Hole Blues" (4)
"Black Jack"
"Black Russians" (6)
"Black Widow" (3)
"Blackboard Jungle"
"Blame Game" (3)
"Bleached Bones" (5)
"Blitzkrieg Bellini" (2)
"Blood and Swash" (3)
"Bloopers" (5)
"Blue Christmas" (2)
"Bo's Birthday"(5)
"Bob Sikes' Cut"(9)
"Bob, Bob, Bobbit" (3)
"Bobby, not Ben"(6)
"Bon Air Bellicose" (4)
"Bon Giorno" (6)
"Bona Lisa" (5)
"Bonds-v-Skvara" (3)
"Boo Boo Poo Poo"(9)
"Boromir & Galadriel"(5)
"Bottled in Thyme"(7)
"Bottom Ten"(9)
"Bovine Stem Cells?"
"Boy, I Say Boy"
"Boycott BP"
"Breaker, Breaker" (4)
"Breakin' rules" (7)
"Breaking News" (7)
"Brer Fox (2)"
"Bridge at Andau"(11)
"Bring Back Ross" (2)
"Bring the Bowl"
"Broken News"(10)
"Brother of the Ring"
"Brownback Mountain"
"Brownie Hawkeye"
"Buckwheat Breathes" (2)
"Bumper Sticker"
"Burn Baby, Burn" (3)
"Bush in the Bullrushes"
"Bush Baby, Bush (2)"
"Bush is Chinese?" (2)
"Bush Press Conference"
"Bush-Bashers Be We (2)"
"Busman's Holiday(2)"
"Butt...Butt...Butt" (3)
"Butterflies? Sheesh!"
"Buttermilk Drops" (3)
"Buy a Subaru" (11)
"Buy Stock in America"(6)
"Cabin Fever" (5)
"Cain Not Able" (7)
"Cake in the Rain"
"Cake in the Rain"(3)
"Call Me Ishmael" (3)
"Callista, an Albino?"(7)
"Camp Pleasant" (2)
"Can She Name Them?(2)"
"Can You Hear Me Now?"
"Canaan Conspiracy"(6)
"Candygram" (4)
"Captive Audience"(6)
"Caramel or Carmel?"(3)
"Carolina Cougar(2)"
"Carolina Curmudgeon" (5)
"Cartoon Characters" (3)
"Case of Packy Stann"(3)
"Cash crash crashed?"(5)
"Cat Fight" (5)
"Caterpillar Quandry" (3)
"Causal Relationships"(9)
"Cause It's One, (2)"
"Ceramic s"
"Ch-ch-changin'" (4)
"Change a'comin" (5)
"Change is Good" (5)
"Change?" (3)
"Changin' Channels" (2)
"Chapter 13"
"Chariots of Fire"
"Chariots' a' Comin'"(4)
"Chassahowitzka" (2)
"Chauncey Gardner"(7)
"Chemical Alley" (6)
"Cheney of Fools" (2)
"Cherem" (3)
"Chew my Gazebo, Willya?"
"Chief Noc-a-Homa" (3)
"Chingachgook Lives"
"Chipmonkeys Alert (2)"
"Chipper" (6)
"Christian Balls"(10)
"Christian the Lion"(4)
"Christian Valuelessness"
"Christmas Communique"(3)
"Christmas, 1936" (2)
"Chutzpah Hooters" (4)
"Cilled a Bar?" (3)
"Cindy, oh Cindy"(4)
"Citizen Soldiers" (2)
"Clark and Lois (2)"
"Classified Ads are Cool"
"Claymore Gregg" (3)
"Clean Machine" (2)
"Clean up in Aisle 4!"(4)
"Climb It Chains" (8)
"Clinton Cuts" (7)
"Clone Chipper,Please"(4)
"Cockatiel Lounge" (2)
"College of the Shire"(6)
"Combat Kelly (2)"
"Come On Baby"(8)
"Come on Down" (3)
"Comin' Clean" (5)
"Comin' Home" (3)
"Commencement (2)"
"Comparables" (6)
"Condi for President" (3)
"Cone of Silence" (4)
"Conflagration" (3)
"Confusion Reigns"(10)
"Congress Goes to War (2)
"Congress' Schmidthead"
"Conspiracy Theory" (4)
"Copy Cat Chinese" (5)
"Country Roads" (7)
"Crawford Convention" (2)
"Crikey" (2)
"Crime and Punishment(2)"
"Crotch Rocket Delite"(4)
"Cult of the Wild"(7)
"Curious, George?"
"Currahee" (5)
"Da Juice Is Back" (3)
"Dad" (5)
"Damages Done (2)"
"Damn Close" (4)
"Damn It To Hell" (5)
"Damn Lies" (7)
"Dandy Dale" (7)
"Danger Will Robinson"(5)
"Danger,Will Robinson"(8)
"Darth Dick" (5)
"Darwin's Company" (4)
"Das Boot"
"Das Ende" (6)
"Date With David" (2)
"Day of Infamy" (4)
"Day-O, Me Wan Go"(7)
"De Tar-Ball Baby" (6)
"Dead Honkey"
"Dearest Bilbo"
"Debits on the Left?" (2)
"Decisions, Decisions"(6)
"Deep and Dark" (5)
"Deep Shiite" (3)
"Degree of Separation"(6)
"Deja 1958 Over Again"
"Deja Who?"(7)
"Delano" (4)
"Diazinon Ditties (2)"
"Dick Clark Top 10(2)"
"Dimmer Switch" (6)
"Dirty Copter" (4)
"Do They Like Kool Aid?"
"Doctor, Mr. MD"(9)
"Dodged a Bullet"(7)
"Dogmobile" (3)
"Dogs Rule"
"Doing the Right Thing"
"Don't Cut My DSL" (5)
"Don't Feed the Animals"
"Dont Touch That Dial"(6)
"Doofus" (9)
"Doohan's Delight" (3)
"Doris Miller" (6)
"Dorothy Rose" (4)
"Double Deal" (6)
"Doubting Thomases" (3)
"Doug Williams"(4)
"Dover" (4)
"Down Below Back Home"(4)
"Downtown Cardinals"(9)
"Dr. Phil" (5)
"Dubai-Bye" (3)
"Dueling Banjos" (3)
"Dumb and Dumber" (3)
"Dumb As We Wanna Be"(3)
"Dumber Than Dirt" (3)
"Dumbest Politico (2)"
"Eager Uighurs" (4)
"Early Admission" (8)
"Eight Nine Four" (4)
"Elect Jeff Jackson"(10)
"Elizabeth I" (5)
"Emily Latella Lives"
"Emperor's Clothes" (2)
"End of the Line"
"Ending Sams Patience"(7)
"Engine Uprisin'" (4)
"Ensign Pulver"(5)
"EOTUS" (5)
"Equinox Approaching"(10)
"Equinoxious" (4)
"Escalator Escalatin'"(5)
"ESP" (6)
"Etchings, Anyone?"(5)
"Ethel Merman Lives"
"Eve, It's Oil!"
"Evenin' Govnah" (6)
"Everyday Miracles"
"Evil Thoughts" (3)
"Eye Opener" (3)
"Eyes of a Gorilla"
"Fair is Fare"(7)
"Falcon" (8)
"Fall Ball" (3)
"Fallin' Behind"(11)
"Falling Apart" (9)
"Fargo Felines" (5)
"Fashionable Frodo" (5)
"Father Ed" (3)
"Faux les Bas" (2)
"Female Insurgency (2)"
"Ferengi or Ferangi?" (3)
"Fergit? Hell No!"
"Film at 11"
"Findin' William"(11)"
"Firing US Attorneys" (3)
"First Freeze" (6)
"First Learn to Lose"
"First National Bank" (5)
"First Sentence" (8)
"Five Easy Pieces" (4)
"Float Yer Boat" (4)
"Flower Power (2)"
"Foe Years Old" (4)
"Follow the Money"
"Followin' Ava" (4)
"For More Years" (3)
"Forbidden Fruit"
"Fords and Dads" (2)
"Foreclosure Follies" (7)
"Foreclosure Notice" (6)
"Forest Primeval"(8)
"Form 666" (3)
"Forms For Everything"(6)
"Foundling Fathers"(7)
"Fourteen Years Ago?"(5)
"Fox Views" (3)
"Frack You" (7)
"Frances Died Today"(7)
"Fred's Dead Head" (3)
"Free at Last"
"Free Hidden Telecast"(4)
"Freedom? Hell No" (3)
"Friend by Your Side" (3)
"Friend by your Side" (4)
"Friendly Persuasion" (5)
"Friends of Bill" (7)
"Frist Friends"
"Frodo and Housman" (2)
"Frodo and Jesus"
"Frodo and Revere?"(7)
"Frodo And Truckers (2)"
"Frodo Dissents" (6)
"Frodo Not Foggo (2)"
"Frodo of Arabia(2)"
"Frodo Op" (5)
"Frodo Regrets"
"Frodo Study Group" (2)
"Frodo visits Bilbo"
"Frodo's Almanac"(9)
"Frodo's Bad Day"
"Frodo's Book Club"(5)
"Frodo's Dilemma" (3)
"Frodo's Faux Pas" (3)
"Frodo's Final Four" (3)
"Frodo's Foreign Policy"
"Frodo's Hall of Fame"(4)
"Frodo's Newer Friend"(6)
"Frodo's Retirement"(8)
"Frodo's Revenge"
"Frodo's Revenge"(7)
"Frodo's Solutions" (6)
"Frodo's Xmas Story"(6)
"Frodo, James Frodo" (3)
"Furriners" (4)
"Gainful Employment" (3)
"Galadriel Is No More"(3)
"Gandalf's Challenge (2)"
"Garland Duesenberry" (2)
"Gas Guzzler A-Go-Go"
"Gasp, Wheeze (2)"
"Gay Faux Holes" (5)
"Genarlow de Chariot" (3)
"Genesis Ignored" (3)
"Geneva Accords Redux"
"Geography Lesson" (3)
"George to the Rescue"(3)
"Georgia on my Mind"(3)
"Getting Your Wish" (3)
"Gidget Goes Gondor"(7)
"Gimme Head With Hair"(3)
"Girls Night Out" (6)
"Give 'em Hell, Tom" (5)
"Give Heath a Chance (2)"
"Give Us Your Tired. . ."
"Giving Way to Anger" (2)
"Glenn Frey"(11)
"Glory Days"
"Goin' Home" (3)
"Gondor Goodfellas"(9)
"Gondor Gravitas" (3)
"Good Cop" (7)
"Good Day America" (6)
"Good Friday It Was"(9)
"Good Friday, Maybe"(11)
"Good Ol Mountain Dew"(5)
"Good Son"
"Goodbye Kids (2)"
"Goodbye, Ethan" (2)
"Goodman is Hard to Find"
"Goose Again"
"GOP Convention" (3)
"Gotta Have a Home (2)"
"Grading on a Curve"
"Graffiti Government" (2)
"Great American Hero"
"Great American Hero" (2)
"Greatest Duet Ever"(6)
"Greed is Good"(5)
"Greetings" (8)
"Grissom not Gruesome"(4)
"Groupies for Edwards"(4)
"Guess We Forgot?"(8)
"Guest Workers (2)"
"Guns of August" (7)
"Guts of August" (3)
"Gwinnett Again?" (3)
"Halo, 1,2,3?" (3)
"Ham I Am" (3)
"Handi-Wipes" (3)
"Hang 'em High" (2)
"Hanky Time, Ladies"
"Happens in Threes"(5)
"Happy Anniversary"(9)
"Happy Mardi Gras"(2)
"Harpo Speaks"
"Harry" (2)
"Harry's Bar-Venice" (2)
"Hawkeye, Redux"(7)
"Haz Mat" (3)
"He Ate the Olive!"(7)
"He is deeply missed (2)"
"He Picks Up Poop?" (5)
"He Took De Bait" (8)
"He's 'Little Ricky'?"(7)
"Healthcare for Frodo"(5)
"Heart Soar Like Hawk"(5)
"Heck of an Engineer"(7)
"Hedge Fund Hippies" (3)
"Heeeerrre's Frodo" (3)
"Heeere's Johnny" (6)
"Heeerrrre's Frodo" (3)
"Hello, Mr. Wilson" (5)
"Hello? Central?" (3)
"Help Wanted"
"Helping Frodo" (4)
"Here Come da Judge" (2)
"Here Come da Judge" (6)
"Here Kitty-Kitty" (4)
"Here Kitty-kitty"(5)
"Here's Help, Now Leave"
"Here's Your Watch" (3)
"Hi Jinx" (5)
"Hide Anythin' Edible"(5)
"High Chair" (2)
"Hobbits And a Truck"(4)
"Hold On Romo" (2)
"Hold the Malaise" (4)
"Honey Dew List"(9)
"Hopalong Frodo"(9)
"Horn of Africa (2)"
"Horse Latitudes" (6)
"Horsehockey" (3)
"Hosea Can You See" (3)
"Hosea Can You See?" (3)
"Hot Tamale" (3)
"Hotel Plimhimmon"(9)
"HOV or DOA?" (3)
"How Dogs Love Us" (10)
"How Many Delegates?"
"How Many Delegates?" (3)
"How Now Broun Cow"(8)
"Hraka" (4)
"Huckleberry Hound" (3)
"Hund Scheisse CSI" (5)
"Hungarian Answer" (4)
"I Believe in Music (2)"
"I can hope, can't I?"(9)
"I Could Cry" (2)
"I Inspired You?"
"I say it's Spinach. . ."
"I'll Get Back to You"(3)
"I'll Huff and Puff" (4)
"I'll Take a Vowel"
"I'm Baaack" (2)
"I'mSo In LoveWithYou"(7)
"Ides of March Again" (4)
"Ides of Texas" (6)
"IED's in Congress" (2)
"If Frodo Ran The DHS"(5)
"If It Ain't OneThing"(5)
"If the truth be told"(6)
"If You Remember,Then"(6)
"If" (6)
"Imagine,General Newt"(6)
"Imitation of Life" (5)
"Immigration Reform (2)"
"In a Galaxy Far Away(2)"
"In a Pig's Eye" (4)
"In Dog We Trust" (10)
"In the Beginning"
"In the Beginning" (3)
"Incomparable Moron" (4)
"Indoor Toilets Rule" (4)
"Intersex Village" (2)
"Interstate Parking (2)"
"Ion Propulsion"(7)
"Iran's Tom Hayden"
"Irish Spring"(3)
"Is it in the Water?"
"Is That in America?" (2)
"Is You da One,Jimmy?"(3)
"Islamic Fundamentals"(8)
"Isn't Amnesty Good?"(3)
"Isn't Change Good?"(6)
"It's A Trap" (6)
"It's Just a Movie"
"It's Just Business"
"Ja, Wir Konnen."
"Jack Crabb" (10)
"Jambo Jumbo" (3)
"Japanese Movie?" (3)
"Je suis Frodo"(10)
"Jefferson Rock" (3)
"Jes' the facts Ma'am"(4)
"Jim Crow" (5)
"Joad Family Reunion?"(6)
"Joad Jobs" (4)
"Joe Soptic" (8)
"Jonestown Redux" (3)
"Jose and Claudia" (4)
"Joshua Generation" (3)
"Just Another Day" (3)
"Just Clearin' Brush"(3)
"Just Desserts (2)"
"Just Desserts" (7)
"Just Say 'Nyet'"(7)
"Just to CU Smile" (5)
"Kandy Kakes 2"
"Ken Meets Jack"
"Key Word Apology" (6)
"Killer's Geraldine" (4)
"Kilowatts Per Mile" (6)
"Kiribati Republic"(6)
"Kirk Saves Nemo"
"Kiss a Girl Goodbye"(2)
"Knew You Not Pompey?"(3)
"Kodak Moment" (2)
"Kool Sailboat" (4)
"Korea, Korea" (2)
"Kudlow's Kreeps"(4)
"Lady of Rohan" (3)
"Land Ho"(8)
"Lean and Hungry " (2)
"Leeward, I Say, Leeward"
"Legs Diamond" (3)
"Legs" (3)
"Leslie" (4)
"Lessons Learned" (2)
"Let Them Eat Cake"
"Let's Bake Cookies" (3)
"Let's Play A Game" (6)
"Letter Home" (6)
"Letter to Lou" (4)
"Liberal Lament" (40)
"Lief, Leaf, or Loaf"(8)
"Life In A Red State"
"Lights of Chicago"
"Like a Barack" (2)
"Limbaugh Hero"(7)
"Lime Bandits" (3)
"Lime is on my side" (6)
"Limestone Cowboys" (3)
"Lip Smackin' Good?"(6)
"Little Big Horn (2)"
"Little Houdini" (5)
"Little Sky"
"Littlest Angel" (2)
"Livin' is Easy?"(7)
"Loans and Deposits" (4)
"Lois, I Never Lie"(8)
"Lonely Avenue" (3)
"Lonesome Frodo" (3)
"Look away Dixieland"(6)
"Look for da Union Label"
"Look Who's Talkin'" (2)
"Lookin' Back, Texas" (3)
"Lost Weekend"(8)
"Low Water, Slow Flow"(3)
"Lox? Or Locks?" (7)
"Lunatic Cattle Call"(8)
"M-G-M Material"
"Ma Bell is Baaack" (3)
"Ma Bell Lives" (7)
"Macaca, Your Macaca" (2)
"Mad Dogs&Englishmen"(6)
"Made You Look" (6)
"Magic Fridge (2)"
"Magic Moments"(7)
"Make Jobs, Not War"(7)
"MaMa's Little Babies"(3)
"Man For All Seasons" (2)
"Man of the Century"
"Man Up, Harry"(6)
"Man's Best Friend?"
"Many happy returns"
"March Forth" (8)
"Marking Time" (3)
"Martyr Magic" (2)
"Marvelous Mac"(8)
"Mary Lee & Genie"(8)
"Master of None" (8)
"May Day, Comrade"(7)
"Maynard G. Krebs" (7)
"Medal of Honor" (6)
"Media is the Message(2)"
"Media Reporting" (6)
"Mental Healthcare" (4)
"Michelle, my Belle"(7)
"Mick's Day"(8)
"Mickey and Me"(6)
"MidSummer Nights Dream"(7)
"Mikileaks" (6)
"Missionary Position" (3)
"Missionary Position" (7)
"Mississipp' Sippin'"(2)
"Mister Roberts" (8)
"Moamar:The Movie"(7)
"Mohair Sam" (5)
"Mon Petit Shoe"(4)
"Monkeys in Mississippi"
"Moody Blue"(7)
"Moody" (7)
"Mooman" (3)
"Moon Over Miami"(4)
"Mooosic" (5)
"Moovin' On Up" (2)
"Mordor or Antarctica?"
"More Than Some" (4)
"Moultrie Poultry" (3)
"Mount Mulch" (2)
"Movin' On Up" (2)
"Mr. Toad's Motorcar (2)"
"Mumbai, My Lord" (4)
"Murtha For President(2)"
"N. Leroy" (7)
"Name That Tune"(4)
"Nascaroil" (4)
"Nat King Cole Sucks"(5)
"NCAA---Blech!" (7)
"Nein, nein, nein"(7)
"Never Doubt Bilbo"
"Never heard of him"
"New Life, Old Leaves"(4)
"Newest Friend"(8)
"Newman's Own" (4)
"Newt/Mitt '12" (3)
"Next Case" (6)
"Next Door Neighbors" (3)
"NFL Commissioner (2)"
"NFL Trade" (3)
"Nielsen Ratings" (2)
"Nine Months PG" (7)
"Nixon Agonistes" (3)
"No Faux News?" (3)
"No Googling Allowed"(4)
"No Humor Today"
"No Peanut Left Behind"
"No Sale" (3)
"No, Not Russian" (4)
"No-No, No" (3)
"Nobody Even Asked"(8)
"Noo Yawk Stateamind"(2)
"Not a Bang,a Whimper"(7)
"Not Funny, Dr Jones"(5)
"Not North Carolina" (6)
"Not Percy Sledge?" (3)
"Not Percy Sledge?"(3)
"Number One" (3)
"Number Please?"(7)
"Number, Please"(8)
"Numbers Don't Lie" (3)
"Numbers Racket" (4)
"Obama Doctrine" (5)
"Obama's Generals"(5)
"October Dreamin'" (4)
"Ode to an Athlete (2)"
"Ogal Preston Crews (2)"
"Oh Kenny Boy (2)"
"Oh the possibilities"(8)
"Oh Ye White Whale" (3)
"Oh, Sadaharu" (2)
"OK Baptist Chorale" (4)
"Old McDonnell's Farm"(7)
"Old Time Baseball"(9)
"Old Times Topic" (6)
"Olympic Changes" (4)
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"Poll Results Just In"
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Southern Pine Beetles"(4)
The H Word" (6)
Citizens of Middle Earth
The Fellowship of the Ring
The Return of the King
Frodo, Keeper of the Ring
Monday, September 3, 2012
Burn Baby Burn
Mood:  cool
Topic: "Texas Exes" (8)

Every once in a while something preposterous strikes the attention of Frodo requiring him to put his considerable editorial efforts to work for the sake of institutional clarity.  Perhaps, in 10,000 years or so, someone, or something, takes note of what follows herein, and feels the presence of a lightbulb brightening the path.

Jennelle Carrillo, according to her attorney, Michael Wash, in order to observe a Dallas Cowboys scrimmage, sat down upon a bench outside the Cowboys Stadium and Mausoleum created by Dallas owner Jerry Jones.  A weather official stated that the outside temperature was 101 degrees when she made her unfortunate decision to rest thereon.  The black marble bench was located in full sunlight.  There were no warnings posted as to the advisability of such reckless action under such severe conditions.

A year later, the woman filed suit against the Cowboys, and Jerry Jones, alleging that she did not realize the extent of burns to her buttocks until she received medical attention.  Treatment included hospitalization and skin grafts.

Long-time readers know that Frodo is no fan of either Jerry Jones, the Dallas Cowboys, Texas, barristers, or people with a "sore ass."  His challenge would be, were he so inclined, to rule against all parties involved.  He would do so however, only after learning of the physical location source for the skin grafts

Are ya ready for some football? 


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:52 AM EDT
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Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Those Were The Days My Friend, We Thought They'd Never End
Mood:  lyrical
Topic: "RNC--2036"(8)

"Good Morning from the scene of the 2036 Republican National Convention, and Welcome to 'Morning Willie.'  I'm your co-host, Willie Geist."

"Joining us on the set today is Mika Brzenski, who was the original co-host on our predecessor show 'Morning Joe.'  Mika is joining us this morning to help commemorate the final appearance of Joe Scarborough at this same point in the 2016 campaign and the unfortunate accident which brought about the untimely demise of our old friend and colleague."

"Good Morning Willie.  I still can't believe it's been 20 years."

"Well, neither can former Governor Chris Christie."

"Can we play the tape back one more time?"

"Here it is, see Joe pulling out the chair for Governor Christie and how he slipped ever so slightly on the grease from the taco the Governor had been eating.  Who'd have ever believed that someone would be crushed to death on our set like that?"

"On to happier times, Willie, didn't I hear you talking with your guest yesterday, the wise and wonderful Mr. Frodo, about the most bizarre coverage of a Republican Convention in your memory?"

"Oh indeed, and we all agreed it was the 2012 Convention but it was Mr. Frodo who made us remember especially why it was so bizarre."

"2012.  That was Willard Mitt Romney, the Harold Stassen of modern political candidacy, wasn't it?"

"Correctomundo, did you remember any of the specifics recalled by the Hobbit?"

"Well, it didn't take me long to recall Anne Romney's proclamation that the theme  song of the GOP should be 'All We Need is Love,' and to be followed simply minutes later by Governor Christie who decried that dedication and replaced it with "R-E-S-P-E-C-T, Find Out What It Means to Me."

"That made the whole world aware of the fact that Romney couldn't even get his surrogates to sing the same tune."

"Well, how do you think Anne Coulter will do in this current race for the Republican nod.?"

"I was kind of wondering if she might pull out a chair for Christie when he appears on our show tomorrow?"

"I'll bring donuts."  

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:59 PM EDT
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Saturday, August 25, 2012
Rocket Man
Mood:  a-ok
Topic: "Wink at the Moon"

There is a bright and beautiful half moon in the skies over the Shire this eve.  Frodo and Newest Friend stood side-by-side, one looking for squirrels, the other doing as suggested by the family of one whom Frodo never knew.  Frodo tried to explain to Newest Friend why the man named Armstrong was so important, and why Frodo felt that a "wink at the Moon" was something he would rather do, recognizing that squirrels in the tree-tops deserve attention, too.

Frodo took a picture that night long ago with an extremely complicated camera which captured images to be shown on a slide projector.  He followed the instructions of "Uncle Walter," so that he could forever capture the moment about which more than 40 billion humanoid eyes had dreamed throughout the Ages.  The moment in July, 1969, when Frodo, his sister, and both his parents joined all the world on the cathode ray tubes that satisfied dreams and deeds beyond all the achievements of Man and Hobbit alike.

Frodo has no idea where that slide is this night.  It matters not, for he will always remember where he was and what was said.  May he also remember winking at the Moon, and the rustling of squirrels in the treetops of the Shire, standing there with Newest Friend, of whom much remains unsaid.   


Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:13 PM EDT
Updated: Sunday, August 26, 2012 11:26 AM EDT
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Thursday, August 9, 2012
Everything's Gonna Be All Right
Mood:  rushed
Topic: "Joe Soptic" (8)

Joe the Plumber was a guy who really bugged Frodo.  Given his experience even listening to the misinformation provided by this cartoon character, it is not surprising that Frodo is very hesitant to pay homage to first-person testimonials on political issues.  However, when Eric Erickson, Rush Limbaugh, and Ann Coulter apparently simultaneously lose the capacity to formulate Frodo has to take a closer look.

What he learned was that Willard Mitt's speechwriter, who held the same position in behalf of John McCain, had noted that the topical former steelworker would have been eligible for affordable healthcare had he been a resident of Massachusetts and "RomneyCare," and that perhaps his wife would also have survived her terminal cancer.  This in response to a soon-to-be issued advertisement chastizing Romney for the typically heartless activity which made Romney a gazillionaire in the first place.  The conservative harpies attacked the employment status of the speechwriter, utilizing words like "moron" to describe the apparently unapproved statements.  Almost immediately the argument was made that this was simple back-tracking by Willard Mitt, and was an approved statement after all.

By dawn's early light nearly all of the talking heads, including those routinely supporting the President, were condemning the fact that anyone would use a campaign add to purloin the reputation of a candidate.  No one, Frodo supposes, remembers the "Swift Boat" assault on John Kerry. 

Frodo wishes to back-up just a few entries and remind you, dear reader, he has taken the position in support of the principle that a drowning opponent should be thrown an anchor, not a life preserver.  Even if, and Frodo is not so stating, there are flaws in the story, how will Coulter, Limbaugh, and Erickson clarify their positions before the American electorate? 

Joe Soptic looks like a guy who has been dealt one of the bad hands evident in the lives of so many.  He differs from Joe the Plumber in that he simply characterizes the thought that Willard Mitt doesn't comprehend the price that others pay when you sacrifice your soul for a few sheckels.  For that reason, Frodo is comfortable with what has been said.        

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:02 PM EDT
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Sunday, August 5, 2012
Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me
Mood:  a-ok
Topic: "Adjusting the Clock"(8)

There is a point in the story of Forrest Gump whereby the protagonist takes out a'walkin', and a'walkin', and a' walkin', and just when it seems he can't go any further, he turns around and walks back.  Frodo admits to the fact that he never really understood that part of the story, so he decided to concentrate on whether or not life was simply a box of chocolates.  That is, until the loss of Mick, the Wonder Dog.  Frodo finds himself walking almost everywhere alone, and when he reaches an appropriate location he simply turns around and walks back the way he came.

Frodo used to talk to that dog a lot during their walks together.  Most of the time Frodo found that the conversations, although somewhat one-sided, were very helpful in overcoming the challenges of Mount Doom.  It is not surprising is it that the Hobbitt continues his conversations, even though he now walks alone?  Frodo notes that innocent passersby view him with the glances of one who sees the need to protect his children from the older gentleman talking to himself.  Perhaps that is why Frodo keeps walking further and further from the Shire, a la Forrest Gump?

That dog adopted Frodo while Frodo was still comparatively young, and they seemed to age together.  Now Frodo is confronted with another great challenge, he will probably age even faster than the one who will eventually follow.  Can he put another through the same heartbreak, or should he run the risk of an older companion who leaves him as emotionally bereft as these past few days have done.

Sam suffers too, but it is not the same.  Sam is perfectly content to wait for the proper set of circumstances and fails to see that Frodo's very being is challenged.  It is likely that it will be October at the earliest before the void in the Shire is filled by a new companion for the Hobbit.  They will be days of interminal length, and paths that lead endlessly across the land bridge of the Bering Strait perhaps, and back again.

Perhaps Bilbo left such a message for Frodo, and back again.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:20 PM EDT
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Friday, July 27, 2012
So I Have To Say I Love You In a Song
Mood:  blue
Topic: "Quittin' Time" (8)

At 6:15 this morning there was no sound of toenails on the floor.  In truth, for the first time in 38 years there was no canine presence to waken Frodo and begin him on his way.  So Frodo took a cup of coffee with him and paid a visit to Mick, the Wonder Dog.

At 5:00 o'clock PM yesterday, the magnificent heart finally stopped beating and the silence was deafening.  There was no discomfort, not a whimper, just the cessation of respiration to go with the reflective eyes and the sheer bulk of a lifeless body.  It was a moment that Frodo knew was imminent.

A cureless disease had spread its tentacles into the cognitive and control systems, causing imbalance and insecurity in the noble friend of Frodo.  Still, he struggled on to meet each and every assignment and requirement of life in the Shire.  He was meticulous, and the fact that an accident would occur even under these circumstances was abhorrent to him.  What troubled him was that there was no other to whom he could transfer responsibility for the care and protection of the Hobbits, except for a cat and a bird, but that was not the same and he knew it.

Frodo spoke to his friend this morning and assured him that there will be another, but Sam will need some time.  It was with Sam that he would sit upright in the rear seat of the old station wagon and cast his noble head into the cool wind that launched his ears like gossamer wings.  Frodo's search will commence immediately, apparently with great care for the legacy that will be preserved, intact.  Frodo then turned to other graves, and told them that Mick, the Wonder Dog, was now there to join in their games.  Frodo, he assured them, will someday follow.

This day will be spent arranging and beautifying that priceless ground.  It will always reflect upon the good hearts that there lay.  That, notes Frodo, is all that he can do to treat a broken heart.  That, and to hold Sam closely and mix their tears together.

Adieu little brother.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:57 AM EDT
Updated: Friday, July 27, 2012 9:11 AM EDT
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Saturday, July 21, 2012
Little Things I Should Have Said And Done
Mood:  sad
Topic: "Aurora Borealis" (8)

Since the assassinations of Robert Kennedy and Martin Luther King, more than one million fatalities in America list "gunfire" as the cause of death.  There is no distinction in these numbers for "self-inflicted," or for any other specific causal relationship.  There is no definition between "accidental" or "intentional."  There is merely a fact, and numbers still do not lie.

Fort Hood, Virginia Tech, Columbine, are no longer places, they are events.  So too, now, is Aurora.  How brutally sad that a crowning ring of light from Heaven will always present an indescribable glory only after it is first identified as a place of cruelty and pain. 

Frodo will watch no more.  The Ring is too strong.    

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 5:29 PM EDT
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Tuesday, July 17, 2012
I've Been Through The Desert On a Horse With No Name
Mood:  chatty
Topic: "Act I, Scene III" (8)

Frodo has always believed that the old adage about someone for everyone is really something more akin to there is at least one.  The Hobbit was proven prophetic when the second husband turned out to be a truly good guy.  He was different, for sure, but his caustic sense of humor and his patience with the quarreling magpies made every visit a pleasure.  A bit of lagniappe was added to the mixture when the decision was made that the newlyweds would relocate to the sunny climes with the result being that the sisters now lived but a few blocks from one another.  Frodo often whistled "There will be peace in the valley. . ." as he contemplated the best of all worlds.

"Familiarity breeds contempt," became the mantra however, as the sisters struggled over the most trivial of issues.  Eventually, the dialogue even encompassed the perception of thievery or some other twisted argument.  It was the steady hand of the second husband that kept incidents of "bitch slap" from occuring.  On more than one occasion he was able to separate the antagonists and to return civility to the less than happy valley.  He also brought sanity to the legalities involving his new wife's finances.  Applying good judgment was his contribution, and soon there was no doubt that his new wife would always have necessary resources to meet all need.  Unfortunately, such was not the case a few blocks away, and resentment reached a new pinnacle.

When the mantel fell to Frodo, he arranged for professional assistance.  It was forecast that 18 years would pass before resources would be expended, leaving Frodo then with a deeper problem.  Subsequently, the down-sizing of her residence and the seeming miracle of the fishes and loaves added to the stash, and concern was replaced by normality, or so it seemed.

The new husband died.  Now there was no buffer, and the sisters eventually clashed again, and again, as vultures began to circle.  Frodo was a presence on one hand, but on the other, there were those who saw a great opportunity.  That opportunity would be enhanced by the loss of their brother.  It was as if the presence of the "Black Death" was the only consistency in their lives.  In truth, it was a wolf in the clothing of sheep. 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:02 AM EDT
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Saturday, July 14, 2012
Please Come to Boston For The Springtime
Mood:  bright
Topic: "Anvil Throwin' Time"(8)

"When your opponent is goin' down for the third time, don't make the mistake Democrats usually make and throw him a life preserver.  Throw him an anvil."  --  James Carville

In 2002, Willard Mitt Romney personally signed five documents, each of which identified him as the Chairman of the Board, Chief Executive Officer, President, and Principal Investor in separate entities of Bain Capital.  The documents each specified that he was to receive at least $100,000 in non-investment income (which is 'salary') annually from Bain Capital.  The documents, as required by law, were filed with the Securities & Exchange Commission (SEC) and are available as a matter of public record.

Last evening, Willard Mitt Romney appeared on ABC, CBS, NBC, Fox, and CNN and stated that he was not involved in any management or investment role with Bain Capital after his resignation in February of 1999.

When queried, Romney further indicated that he would not provide additional copies of his Federal Income Tax Returns beyond or prior to the years 2010 (previously made public) and 2011 (still in preparation) for public inspection.  This, despite the fact that his father, George W. Romney, had submitted 12 years of his own Federal Income Tax Returns when seeking the Republican nomination for the Presidency.  George Romney said at the time that to provide only a year or two of information could be a "fluke" and not be reflective of the substance.  Additionally, Senator John McCain, when seeking the Presidency in 2008, made 23 years of his Federal Income Tax Returns available for public inspection.  

Throughout his campaign for the Presidency, Willard Mitt Romney has argued, consistently, that he is better prepared to handle economic issues than his opponent, President Barack Hussein Obama, because of his experience in the "private sector" at Bain Capital.  In response to allegations that he was not only personally "sheltering income in foreign bank accounts" but the "out sourcing" of jobs from American companies serviced by Bain Capital, Romney has steadfastly insisted that he was not responsible for any such activity or result after his departure from Bain Capital in February of 1999.  This, despite his sworn written statements to the SEC identifying specific titular responsibilities with Bain Capital more than three years later.

It would reach into speculation, at this point in time, to proffer Romney's reasoning for his reluctance to provide complete Federal Income Tax Return information commencing with the year 1999.  Frodo will leave such speculation to others.  Let him add however that it will take something beyond the magnitude of Barack Obama being photographed in the nude with Jerry Sandusky to put Willard Mitt Romney in the White House given the cries of the rat drowning before our very eyes.  



Posted by loveysdaddyga at 11:34 AM EDT
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Saturday, July 7, 2012
Meet Me on South Street
Mood:  mischievious
Topic: "Greetings" (8)


Such was the salutation that headed the most dreaded, if not the most numerous, pieces of mail delivered during the twentieth century.  For the most part, these letters directed an individual to report for military service.  The commonly held assertion during the first part of the century was that the message therein was "polite, but firm."  During the latter half of the century the correspondence emanating from a local Draft Board created such a firestorm that it was eventually eliminated.

At the College of the Shire things were as they were throughout Middle Earth.  Frodo and his friends came to believe that the War fought in Southeast Asia was not only a mistake in and of itself, but they grew increasingly aware of the fact that they were being called to fight on the wrong side.  Coming to such a conclusion was both painful and divisive.  It was during such a time that the following actually occurred.

He was a Republicant, and he refused to accept the fact that the US of A could ever make a mistake, do something illegal, or even act imprudently. " After all," he was fond of saying, "my Father serves on the local Draft Board back home, and he told me that they only call true, patriotic Americans to serve their country.  Therefore," he added, "when my time comes, I will go willingly."  Even at the College of the Shire, the commonly-expressed response to that diatribe was "Bullshit."

To prove a point, a cabal was born over copious amounts of 3.2% beer on a cold winters night.  One of the co-conspirators had access to sheets of paper with semi-official looking headings of all kind.  Little effort was required in the fashioning of a command to appear for a Pre-Draft Physical Examination.  The heading "Greetings" was the first word entered to the body of the letter.   According to the letter, the individual was directed to report to a specific address in his home county, at a certain time and date, in order to establish his physical capacity to serve.

Since the event was something every male over the age of 18 was required to experience, it did not strike the victim as too, too unusual that he was to report to the US Post Office near his permanent address in Bluefield, West Virginia, at 5:30 AM on the 17th of February, even though that particular day happened to be a Sunday.  The letter further explained that the enclosed pre-paid ($17.50) Greyhound Bus Ticket from the terminal serving the College of the Shire to Bluefield would be matched by a return ticket to the College of the Shire and given to him upon completion of the Physical Examination.  Furthermore he was warned not to eat or drink anything that morning, and that a box lunch would be provided to him prior to his departure from the location of the Physical Examination en route to the Bus Terminal in Bluefield upon completion of said examination.

The ticket was for a departure at 3:00 AM.  The cost of the ticket, unknown to the addressee, involved contributions from 35 male classmates at the College of the Shire.  The letter was postmarked from Bluefield and dated less than a week after one of the co-conspirators had gone home to Bluefield for the weekend.

It was later learned that the four inches of snow that fell during the night was matched by temperatures well below Fahrenheit defined freezing levels for water.  It was unsurprising also that every commercial or governmental establishment was closed until after the Noon Hour services of the multitudinous number of churches in that faithful community.  The first bus, by the way, scheduled to depart for the terminal serving the College of the Shire would depart at 3:00 PM.  There was no return ticket or reservation listed (the military term for such an occurrence is SNAFU) on behalf of the subject of the cabal.  The box lunch was obviously also misplaced.

The assumption existed for many years that said subject did not call his parents in order to come and get him because of a demonstrated level of pride extending beyond good judgment.  It is also known that he never mentioned what took place on that day, even to those whom he had informed ahead of time about his planned Physical Exam.   Frodo is sure they must have questioned him when he was actually called for a "more official" Physical Exam less than three weeks later.

Frodo was reminded of these events when he recently learned that the subject therein now lives in Texas.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 2:50 PM EDT
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