Mood:  quizzical

Recently, Frodo read a book entitled "Turn Right at Machu Picchu."  The book was written by a social scientist from Yale University near the 100th anniversary of the "re-discovery" of the fabled ruins in the Andes.  Frodo learned that the first "re-discovery" took place in 1911 in an expedition headed by an earlier social scientist from Yale University.  The 2011 re-discovery was formulated in order to update and expand access to the ruins, and to identify the items purloined at the initial "re-discovery" which should legitimately be returned to the Government of Peru.  Note that this effort was not predominantly gratuitous, it was the realization by Yale that Peru could sue the shit out of them for stealing historical artifacts. 

Enough about the book itself, Frodo's commentary herein deals with a single incident highlighting the changing global environment, and important because it made Frodo laugh out loud.

The Anglos heading the 2011 expedition were accompanied by a number of ancestral Incas who knew the countryside intimately, and who could garner locations from old maps and pictographs.  One evening, while assembled around a warming fire, consuming goodly amounts of locally-brewed beverages, one of the Incas asked of the Anglos "Say, where are you guys from?"

One of the Anglos responded saying "We live in New York."

The Incas stared at one another, and silence prevailed.

Eventually, another Anglo realized that the Incas had no idea where or what New York was, so he said "We are from the United States of America."

Again, the response was met by blank stares and silence.

The expedition leader took charge and said "We are from up North."

"Oh," responded one of the Incas, who now realized that these guys were from someplace that if one walked far enough headed North that eventually one would reach their village.  Things apparently then settled down into a continuation of the libation consumption.  That is, until the original questioner asked

"Is it true that Michael Jackson is dead?"

Frodo has decided that when next he visits a remote location of Middle Earth, such as Mount Storm, that he will wear but one glove and practice his version of the Moon Walk beforehand.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 12:00 PM EST

Updated: Sunday, February 16, 2014 12:06 PM EST

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Mood:  accident prone

Explaining tax law to a hobbit is akin to teaching a cat to fetch; it is not worth the time.  The issue that has returned Frodo to the keyboard however requires a little, very little I say, knowledge of tax law, if only to put thee, dear reader, on a par with the fools around you.

About a hundred years ago, the tax men at the National Revenue were charged by the Congress of the United States with the responsibility to ensure that certain tax-exempt organizations utilized the revenue received exclusively for the purposes specified.  If the money was supposed to support the Salvation Army for example, then the tax guys made sure that was the case, and that none of the money would be used to benefit somebody else.

Okay so far?

In 1959, amid the Eisenhower Administration, somebody, and "somebody" is used because nobody actually knpws who, basically changed the wording of the responsibility without either telling anybody or seeking legislative approval.  The word "exclusively" (as utilized above) was replaced by the word "primarily."  The effect being, ever since that change was made, the tax men have for example, accepted the tax exempt return of the Salvation Army if the revenue collected was "primarily" for Salvation Army purposes, even if some of the revenue was used for other purposes, say like political contributions.

The point being that those instructions to the Revnue Department, ever since 1959, have been and are, illegal. 

The effect of what has taken place is still not clear, since our elected representatives are only recently even aware of the "problem."  This may explain why you haven't heard much from Congressman Daryl Issa (R-CA) regarding the "scandal" at the IRS of late.  From all appearances, it seems quixotic, at best, that Republicans would seek to pursue an investigation that failed to include the source of the problem itself.  It would be interesting, to say the least, just how much of that "primarily" money went into Republocan coffers, don't ya think? 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 12:57 PM EST

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Mood:  a-ok

It is more than likely that Frodo will maintain a level of silence throughout the remainder of the year of our Lord, 2013.  President Obama just concluded his "final" press conference for the year, and is winging his way to his home state for rest and recreation.  The Congress of the United States, as if anybody cared, has gone into recess, again, and is doing whatever it is that failures do day in and day out.  Frodo's favorite athletic teams are out of contention for any recognition.  His aches and pains grow increasingly bothersome, leaving him with a sense of anxiety that just maybe the planned surgical promises may not be kept.  Times, it seems, could be better for the Hobbit.

There is a backlog to his reading which will be the subject of a weeklong jihad.  The temperatures in the swamps and beaches are approaching 80, and there is no forecast of precipitation, of any kind.  Dandy and Tess seem to sense that they are about to return to the place with all that untouchable water amid the endless shoreline.  Sam looks haggard, and needs the rest amid concerns about the wounded Frodo.  Sam's sister, who seems to be an eternal case of bronchitis, accompanies the Hobbits and passes her cough in the direction of our wounded warrior.

Frodo's biggest challenge will be a meaningfully inexpensive Christmas present for Sam.  Recognizing the fact that the Hobbits do indeed have "everything," sad experience has taught him that something personal and thoughtful is expected (One year, Frodo assembled 10 or 12 boxes of tea which addressed a partcularly bleak winter not so long ago).  If the situation were reversed, Frodo would hope for a tee shirt carrying the Spanish words "El Oso Blanco," hardly appropriate for Sam, which identifies the new slugging hero of Frodo's gallant Braves.

Frodo rang the bell again for the benefit of the army with salvation in its heart.  Dear friends throughout Middle Earth contributed in his memory, telling unidentified exasperated volunteers that they were there "For Frodo."  Despite the anxieties and the disappointments, Frodo always finds an opportunity to smile at the little touch of consternation which he brings to those who never take him too seriously.  That, and a toddy or two.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 4:35 PM EST

Updated: Friday, December 20, 2013 4:39 PM EST

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Mood:  don't ask

Changes in life are rarely printed on a menu so that one may order in sequence.  A salad, for example, will not necessarily follow the soup if there is a medical problem brought on by years of over-utilization.  So discovered the Hobbit when he kept noticing a pain in his ass, not otherwise identified as Ted Cruz.

The X-rays easily allowed the medical practitioner to identify bone spurs and the concomitant absence of lubricating gel between the hip bone "connected to the thigh bone" and so on.  Decisions were made once the surgeon stated that things would never improve.  Sam inhaled when notice was posted, and since that time has tried to do Frodo's daily tasks as well as those which fall under the responsibilities of the wisest.  Frodo feels as if he has aged forty years, despite the assurances of the Fellowship, and those previously confronted by structural deficiencies requiring repair.

The Surgeon explained to Frodo that a new and improved ceramic model would replace his left hip, and Frodo assumes that should said premise not occur, then he could use the ceramics as ornamentals on this years Christmas tree.  He might also make the materials available to NASA for use as a nose cone on some future Martian Explorer.  Hopefully, however, variables of this nature will not come under further consideration.  The problem will be in amendments to the "bucket list" of the Hobbit.

Frodo will never again shoot a jump shot from the top of the key, nor will he again dive for a line drive in center field.  The Hobbit will never again break into a final sprint to the finish.  He will never again ride horseback in South Mountain Park, even atop a blind traveler under the expert tutelage once available to him.  He will continue for years hence, but he will always have to avoid the fall. 

The Ring is a constant threat, and his undoing it will be.     

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:52 PM EST

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Mood:  bright

Frodo is a great fan of Tom Friedman.  In addition to the depth of his understanding as it relates to world affairs, Friedman actually goes to the places he writes about.  He does more than interview world leaders when he walks the streets of the West Bank, or, in this case, visits an elementary school in China.

Friedman discovered that the school systems with the highest level of achievement also have the teachers with the greatest amount of time devoted to classroom preparation.  Recently, he reported that his viewing of several courses in "foreign" studies were conducted by teachers in 35 minute segments, thrice daily.  That's right, dear reader, you read that correctly, the teachers spend 105 minutes of each day in the classroom; the rest of the day is preparation for the following day.  The process is universal, be it math, science, languages, or whatever, 35 minutes facing one teacher, then off you go to another.

Can you imagine, dear reader, your local school board, elected by people who are most concerned about property tax rates?  Could you imagine their reaction to teachers engaged in a classroom less than two hours out of an eight-hour workday?  The Tea Party would burn blackboards and back packs rather than admit that anything less than eight hours multiplying times four would enhance the performance of their little (minded) darlings. 

Frodo will stay away from any value judgments on the Chinese educational system, or any behavioral comparisons with what is the experience in Middle Earth.  He will however, offer one piece of rhetorical fact which should cause the engaged to expand an horizon, or two.  Not long ago, at Georgia Tech, in the Freshman Introductory Course (first-year students only), in Physics, 9 of the top 10 students by GPA were Chinese.  The other was an Israeli.

Frodo wonders how many were on the football team? 

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:18 PM EDT

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Mood:  d'oh

One might surmise that Halloween was on the mind of the Hobbit, but nothing could be further from the truth.  By the same token, one might believe that another year without Bilbo saying "I know right where I was at 10:55 AM," would receive more than a wistful sigh in the wind.  Frodo has been wounded, and his futile attempts to ignore the pain reflect upon his lack of judgment.

Frodo was wounded by the Black Riders in the great book, and his eventual departure from the Shire was the result.  He suffered throughout his adventure, but refused to let it deter him from his struggle as the smallest and the weakest.  This day, masses of bone matter congeal at the left hip and knee of the Hobbit.  He is unable to face any challenger with the assurance that he could stand throughout.  It is a feeling completely foreign to him.

The advances of modern medical technology truly boggle the mind, but the sheer thought of chemical mish-mash sloshing about in his colon goes beyond the practical.  Similarly, Frodo can not imagine replacing part of his skeletal frame with something approaching the world of robotics.  His alternative it seems, is to endure.

He knows now what that rocking chair must have meant to John Kennedy.  To endure is a noble effort, but that doesn't mean much when putting on a sock becomes an Olmpic event.  Sam is nearby, willing to help when asked.  The rest of the Fellowship need not know now.  

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:39 PM EDT

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Mood:  hug me

Frodo slipped a leash around her neck and pulled it snug.  He stepped back from the door and led her down the concrete walkway and out the door.  He opened the outdoor run and released the leash as she bound into the sunlight.  It was only then that Frodo noticed the ears, and her coat.  He choked and stopped breathing.

Her ears had been snipped, probably by pinking shears.  Her coat was almost turquoise, that which was left.  Whatever had taken place was intended to make her angry and to fight.  Her eyes were empty. 

While others watched, the Hobbit fetched a gentle brush and, from her shoulder, he brushed back toward her tail. Immediately she turned to face Frodo, and he suddenly realized that he had placed himself in a truly vulnerable position.  Her eyes however, told him that he had done something truly warm and special.  If a dog has ever truly broken into tears, it took place at that moment.  Frodo knows.

She wiggled under each and every stroke that rippled the muscles of that magnificent body.  She stood on her hind legs and wrapped her front legs around the waist of the Hobbit, and she whimpered.  For a few short moments they circled the run and she danced with the Hobbit.  Frodo's friends watched and no one spoke, nor did any object at the extra time spent with one who needed the grace of her new if not only friend in all the world.

Frodo led her back to her cage, and he gently removed the leash from around her neck while rubbing his hands under her chin.  Their eyes met, and she kissed his hand.  Frodo pulled her to him and kissed her on the nose, and then he was gone.

Seven days later Frodo returned, and began, in turn, to walk each and every one under his charge.  He had not been able to keep cage number 53, unnamed, off his mind.  As he turned to that walkway, he saw her bouncing expectantly for whoever would come to take her out into the sunshine and a place to evacuate without messing up her cage.  Frodo wondered if she, then he knew.

Their eyes met, and number 53 melted into the arms of her wonderful best friend with the magic brush.  She followed him outside and again they danced in each others arms.  Frodo swears that he heard Strauss playing "The Emperor's Waltz," and, soon, he noticed people watching, marveling at something so simply beautiful as a dog and a Hobbit.  Again he returned her to her cage and kissed her good-bye.

Another week had passed, and Frodo knew that pit bulls have little chance of rescue, and there are too few facilities to stop the inevitable.  Frodo turned the walkway and almost sprinted to cage 53 as he heard the joyful cry of his friend, with her coat growing back, her ears healing, and a roomful of amazed and amazing people who had been waiting to watch them dance in the sunshine.  When he led her back, he noticed that a marketing package was attached to her cage by other volunteers, trying to help in the adoption process.  They had named her "Smiley," and they remarked about how one so tortured had emerged as a butterfly from the cocoon of inhumanity.  Frodo cried again, but this time with a little genuine hope.

When next he arrived cage 53 had an unknown inhabitant.  Frodo looked quickly, then he noticed that there was no crowd about.  No one offered solace to the Hobbit, assuring him that "Smiley" had found a home.  Frodo asked no questions, he simply went on about his business, looking for someone else needing a brush, while he hummed an Austrian tune from long ago.  All the while hoping that "Smiley" was in a gentle back yard, being loved by a golden family who needed a good dog.

Today, as everyday, 9000, that's right nine thousand, dogs are euthanized in America.  Maybe, just maybe, on one day, it was only 8999.  Small victories, perhaps.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 3:50 PM EDT

Updated: Thursday, October 24, 2013 3:55 PM EDT

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Mood:  quizzical

"Hearye, Hearye, all those with business before this Court are called to order.  The first in order of business is the matter of the State of Florida-v-the State of Georgia.  Whos speaks on behalf of the plaintiff in this matter?"

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the Court, I, the eminently unqualified Governor of Florida, Rick Scott, doth petition this Court on behalf of the State of which I serve as Governor." 

"Speak ye then."

"Your Honours, the State of Florida and its people suffer needlessly because of the actions of the State of Georgia to restrict the flow of fresh water.  As you know, Georgia alleges that the phenomental growth in the Atlanta area requires sufficient freshwater resources for the commercial and residential properties and activities which drive the local economy.  The State of Florida is not unsympathetic, however the diversion of natural-flow water has the impact of destroying the oyster industry in the Gulf of Mexico as well as hindering industry everywhere beneath metropolitan Atlanta."

"Governor?"

"Yes Justice Soto-Maior."

"You are referring, I assume, to the practice of the closure of spillways by the Army Corps of Engineers?"

"That is correct your Honor.  It is important to note that even though the physical diversion takes place at the hand of a federal agency, it is in support of the stated needs of Georgia.  Florida has not been awarded proper legal authority to service the needs of its populace."

"Governor?"

"Yes Justice?  I say, who spoke?"

"I did."

Aside.  "Who's the black guy?"

Aside.  "That's Justice Thomas."

Aside   "No shit.  I didn't think he could talk.  Has he ever spoken in public before?"

"Am I keeping you Governor?"

"I apologize your Honor.  What say you?"

"Governor, is it not true that this Court has held numerous times that in similar matters the rights of the individual states are consistent with the natural-flow?"

"That is absolutely correct your Honor."

"Then why, pray tell, are we here discussing the same issue again?"

"I'm afraid your Honor that I have no answer, and plead only that the issue should be so addressed to the defense."

"Mr. Frodo, I believe, are you representing the State of Georgia in this matter?"

"I am, your Honor, given the fact that Georgia has the dumbest collection of elected office-holders in all the land, I am, by definition the last man standing."

"You say you're standing?"

"Despite my limited height, I have not committed $24M to a project known as 'Go Fish' as did Former Governor Perdue.  Nor have I forsaken the guarantee of the federal government to totally fund an expansion of $300B Medicare benefits for the next three years, as has Governor (Bad) Deal.  Our Republican Congressional representatives have likewise. . ."

"That's enough Mr. Frodo, can we return to the question I raised with Governor Scott?"

"Absolutely your Honor."

"Well then, suppose you tell me why we shouldn't conclude these proceedings forthwith?"

"Because of Bob Sikes' Cut."

"What Sir, are you talking about?"

"Sir, the State of Florida, the Corps of Engineers, and the local populace jointly unrtook a project to separate the barrier Saint Georges Island into two parts.  The plan and subsequent result was to increase access into the oyster beds in the sound.  The resultant decrease in oyster harvest lies specifically therein."

"In what way may I ask?"

"Your Honor, the flow of water into the sound has traditionally been from the freshwater rivers entering Florida from Georgia.  The addition of flow from the ocean depths by what is known as Bob Sikes' Cut is saltwater, not freshwater."

"So?"

"Sir, saltwater kills oysters.  Oysters require a balance of fresh and saltwater."

"I object your Honor."

"Didn't you tell me just a moment ago that I should address my questions to the defense?"

"Your Honor, if I may sum up very briefly?"

"Proceed."

"Greed, your Honor, drove the actions of incompetent politicians in Florida.  By opening a new pathway into the sensitive oyster beds, they helped destroy a thriving industry.  Short term gains produce catastrophic results when the science is ignored, and greed takes its place in governmental debate."

"Well, shut my mouth."

"Your Honor, that will be the second best thing to come out of these proceedings."

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 9:16 PM EDT

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Mood:  cool

Frodo, Dandy, and Tess were returning from their morning constitutional (which is not to be confused with anything ever uttered by Ted Cruz) when all three noted an incoming aerial body headed directly in their path.  Frodo quickly identified the drone-like object as a hawk with a passenger in tow.  Immediately behind was another hawk, of equal size, trailing two or three feet behind as they both landed on a picket fence across the street from the Shire itself.  Despite the gore to follow, it was an amazing sight, one which won the attention, if not the admiration, of each of the pedestrian.

Frodo told Sam that it has been consistent with other things observed by the keepers of the Shire.  There seem to be more birds and more squirrels gorging themselves on heavy-fat concentrated seeds and nuts than at any time in memory.  Fishing, be it at Lake Lovey or in the Care of the Belle (more on this subject later), is violently aggressive.  It seems as if all creatures are preparing for a period whence there will be an absence of forage.  It is something which may be nothing, nothing at all, or it may be a harbinger of things to come.

Frodo has spent many hours helping others to prepare for chapters to come.  He has paid little attention to the words before you, dear reader, and for that he laments the innocent injustice thus created.  It is time to notate that the environment suffers, perhaps moreso, than most even imagine.  Perhaps this revised directory will add greater purpose to Frodo's effort, and supplement the facts behind the land that washes away or strangles life of every kind.  The Ring, it seems, is never too far away from the hand of Man.   

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 8:51 PM EDT

Updated: Wednesday, October 9, 2013 8:54 PM EDT

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Mood:  bright

The behavioral sciences is terminology applicable to the study of human behavior utilizing the scientific method.  Causal relationships exist in electronics, for example, as well as they do in human intercourse (check spelling if uncomfortable with the above).  If one turns a light switch to the "ON" position, it follows that the inevitable result is a much brighter environment, if, that is, for example, the light bulb is operative.  By the same token, if a government stock piles weaponry, then the inevitable result will eventually be an explosion.  This short treatise helps explain why Frodo, amongst all the pundits in all the world appears to be the only one who has a clue about American Foreign Policy.

It is easily verifiable to any student of history that for the past fifty or so years, the United States of America has engaged "limited warfare" as a major, if not the major, course of action in order to confront apparent skullduggery.  Korea, Kosovo, Vietnam, Iraq, Grenada, Nicaragua, Afghanistan are familiar names where American resources, both physical and human, were expended in the betterment of "American interests abroad."  The costs have been astronomical, with little accomplishment documented for scholarly study.  Truthfully, can any of Frodo's conservative friends produce any material reason for the "rescue" of the then-medical students in Grenada who have now become eligible providers of benefit under the Affordable Care Act?  Does anyone remember why negotiations broke down?  "Were there any negotiations before hand", asks a befuddled hobbit?  Why a limited war, and not a peace conference in New Hampshire?

Because Ronald Reagan hadn't had a war to call his own.

In truth, by the end of Reagan's presidency, the preferred course of action in international disputes involving the United States was "limited war."  Look it up, if you dare.

Barack Obama clearly understands that the threat of American military action is a formidable deterrent.  Holding the threat at arm's length gives him, or any President, the capability to achieve objectives with more conventional diplomacy.  Economic sanctions are crippling Iran.  Cuba has been stricken with statewide poverty.  In fact, the capacity of the United States to achieve its will with dollars has worked almost everywhere, and sometimes in place of a costly "limited war."

For those still confused by the world outside the borders of our land, Frodo says "Wake up and smell the coffee."  The Russians need us to help patrol their borders with the Islamic world, and they only have one consistent warm-water port in that part of Middle Earth.  They cannot risk economic pressure theemselves, much less in their great trading partner, Syria.  There should be no surprise that an intelligent leader can get his way by a methodology that emphasizes negotiation, and de-emphasizes the expense of war, and another repeat of the collapse of empire.

That's what Frodo knew.

Posted by loveysdaddyga at 10:49 PM EDT

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