Mood: hug me
Topic: "Wedding Bell Blues"
By all indications the Pope will be buried this coming Friday. Unfortunately, the Prince of Wales, Charles, is to be wed for the second time to the Commoner, Camilla Parker-Bowles, on the same day. Now had the old boy merely hung on for another day or so, all of this potential unpleasantness might be avoided. The happy couple could have stopped by for the services on their way to the Riviera. Then again, it was rather cheeky for the Prince to advance his plans so far given the tenuous nature of the Pope's health. Had they merely looked at a point later in the year then all of the awkwardness could have been eliminated entirely.
I dare say that someone needs to represent the Empire. Since the Queen Mum has already announced her unwillingness to attend the nuptials (after all they are being held so I've heard in the same rear seat of the Royal Land Rover where the marriage was first consummated some years ago), it would be unseemly for her to appear at a funeral instead. The same may be said for her husband (oh dear, I have forgotten the blighter's name, again).
This is a royal dilemma for which Frodo has an absolutely divine solution. Diana will attend.
As an angel, Prince Charles' first wife will be in a fitting position to pay homage to the leader of all the worlds' Catholics. Diana would also be in position to request her friend Sir Elton John to compose a third version of his memorial masterpiece "Candle in the Wind," and to devote it to the Pontiff. The profit, of course, would add to the coffers of the charities championed both by Diana and John Paul.
Edward? No. Albert? No. William? No (damn, what is the name of that bloke)?
Should Diana not be able to attend, there appears to be no alternative, but for the couple to either marry early in the morning and catch the red-eye to Rome, or to have somebody perform the ceremony after the funeral.
Henry? No. Arthur? No. Richard? No (oh well, it'll come to Frodo, probably as he saunters through Harrod's, looking for a gift).