Mood:
irritatedTopic: "Key Word Apology" (6)
Key words are used by search engines to provide a high percentage response to a general inquiry.
An apology is a response that admits to an error or misdeed.
Frodo has never before considered an apology that utilizes key words in order to maximize the scope therein. See what you think.
Walter Fitzpatrick, a resident of Sweetwater, Tennessee, and a military retiree (rank unknown), was arrested in early April after he tried to put a Monroe County grand jury foreman under citizen's arrest (somehow the lilting voice of Don Knotts is ringing in Frodo's ear). Having been rather hostile to the government ever since he faced court-martial two decades ago, Fitzpatrick was trying to get the grand jury foreman to indict President Obama, alleging that he is not a U.S. citizen. In fact, Fitzpatrick issued 24 of his own "warrants" demanding that certain federal, state, and local officials be subject to his citizens arrest (there's that voice again).
Darren Wesley Huff, a resident of Dalton, Georgia, was arraigned in Knoxville, Tennessee, on Friday and charged with transporting a firearm in furtherance of a civil disorder. Mr. Huff, it seems, was stopped for a traffic violation by state troopers who noted the presence of a pistol on Mr. Huff's hip. Mr. Huff, according to the police report, stated that he had an AK-47 in his trunk and that he was on his way to the Monroe County Courthouse in Madisonville, Tennessee, in order to help take over the courthouse in support of the aforementioned Mr. Fitzpatrick. Since Mr. Huff had a gun permit, the state troopers were prepared to let him go until he informed them of his intentions. Mr. Huff also indicated that he was a member of the "Oath Keepers," which the Southern Poverty Law Center has identified as an extremist anti-government group
Mr. Huff pleaded not guilty to the complaint filed by the FBI. The complaint further indicated that Mr. Huff had appeared, along with a dozen or so other armed men, outside the Monroe County Courthouse on Thursday, the day before his arrest. He indicated to FBI agents at the time that he was prepared to "die for his rights."
Frodo is a son of the South. He knows the towns of Sweetwater, Knoxville, Dalton, and Madisonville. He appreciates their charms and their foibles. He is also humiliated by the fact that the school systems in these communities produce people such as Fitzpatrick and Huff. He is ashamed that parents could exercise so little wisdom in teaching children proper behavior. He wants to apologize to people in other parts of Middle Earth, who have to be horrified by characters of this ilk.
It is at this point that Frodo had an epiphany. Why not maximize the potential for those searching the world-wide web to stumble across the stupidity of these clowns? Frodo hereby lists "keywords" which are identified for the purpose of defining to as many as possible that Fitzpatrick and Huff, and all the rest of their "Oath Keepers" are merely: ignorant, moronic, stupid, insane, obtuse, dull, delusional, backward, deceitful, repulsive, repugnant, vicious, dangerous, contemptible, criminal, freakish, fraudulent, slow, and, oh well, you get the point.
And for those of you who have just found Frodo. Hi! Ya'll come back now, y'heah.
