Mood:
suaveTopic: "Where's the Fire?"(5)
"Is there a problem, Officer?"
"Driver's License, Proof of Insurance, and Registration, Please."
"I didn't think I was speeding."
"Son, this here's Georgia, and driving with a broken tail light may not cause you any problems in South Carolina, but it does here."
"A broken tail light?"
"Have you had anything to drink this evening?"
"No Sir."
"Would you mind if I searched that big, old SUV you're driving?"
"Well, not really, but why?"
"Well Sir, it's not every night I pull over an official vehicle from the State of South Carolina driving with a broken tail light well after normal business hours. Just who are you, Mr., uh, Sanborn is it, and what business brings you into Georgia this time of night?"
"I'm the Governor."
"Governor, of what?"
"South Carolina."
"Well, ain't that just somethin' special?"
"Pardon?"
"Are ya on yer way to visit with yer pal Sonny?"
"Who?"
"The Governor."
"Governor, of what?"
"Georgia."
"Oh, is that his name? Sonny, you say."
"Don't get smart with me, boy."
"Oh, not at all. I meant no offense."
"You ain't answered my question."
"What question?"
"What are yo doin' this time of night in a government vehicle traveling in the wrong direction to be goin' home for the evening?"
"I'm taking a little personal time to relax."
"Out of the car, boy."
"We're goin' to see how straight a line you can walk."
"Officer, I don't think that is necessary."
"Well, let's jes see if you can blow up this balloon?"
"I respectfully decline to take a breathalyzer."
"I didn't say nothin' 'bout no breathalyzer. Sounds to me like you been thru this before."
"Well, uh, I guess I just watch too many police shows on TV."
"One more time before I call for backup, and bring you up before a judge in the morning. What are ya doin' out here this time a' night?"
"I'm on my way to visit a lady friend."
"Okay, now we're gettin' somewhere. Now who might this lady be, and how come you're spendin' time with her here jes before Father's Day?"
"Her name is Betty Ford."
"Well damn boy, you think I didn't know that. A man would have to be a drunk to try and turn down three quarters of a billion dollars to improve the worst public school system in America. Now what's that in your ashtray?"
