Mood:
cheekyTopic: "You Betcha" (6)
"Next in line, please."
"Yes, I'd like to purchase a ticket, if you please."
"Welcome to the Louis Armstrong Airport in New Orleans and Red Neck Airlines. I am your ticket agent Frodo Baggins, and I'll be glad to help you. What is your destination?"
"Moscow."
"Idaho?"
"No, Russia."
"Will you be traveling alone?"
"No, the ticket is for my daughter."
"I see, and what are the desired departure and return dates?"
"Actually, it is just a one-way ticket, no return, and to leave on the first available flight."
"Okay, and will your daughter require any special services either here or in Moscow?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, is she a minor, and will anyone be meeting her in Moscow?"
"She is a minor, and she does have special needs?"
"Madam, are you suggesting that this is a special needs child, traveling alone from New Orleans to Moscow? I'm afraid we can't assume that level of responsibility absent the presence of an adult?"
"Well. what about Torrey Hanson?"
"Who?"
"The mother who returned her adopted child to an orphanage in Russia."
"M'am, common sense would dictate that a special needs child requires constant parental care. Just because some other airline allowed the transport of an unattended child does not infer that your request is even worthy of consideration."
"Well, I can arrange for her father to meet her at the airport in Moscow."
"I still don't think it is something we could do."
"Her father is Vladimir Putin."
"THE Vladimir Putin?"
"Yes, we met while I was looking at Russia from my house in Alaska."
"I say, you do look familiar."
"Well, let me ask, would you sell me a ticket for an adult traveling alone, who had special needs?"
"Yes M'am, I think we could arrange that with proper instructions and preparation."
"Great. Book me a one-way ticket for one, on the earliest flight."
"Okay, and what is the traveler's name?"
"Todd."
