Topic: "Vinson Can Gogh"(6)
Frodo has a theory, and it has to do with hair color. "Have you ever noticed," said Frodo, "that really bad lawyers who happen to have a full-head of white hair tend to become judges?" This observation applies to the southern reaches of Middle Earth we believe, since Justices Scalia, Thomas, Alito, and Roberts fall outside the parameters therein. The newest priaptic rise to fame in the judicial realm, the august Mr. Vinson, is Frodo's example for today.
Justice Vinson, noting his 78-page decision to strike down the healthcare legislation passed by the 111th Congress, deemed (in layman's terms) it unconstitutional to require private citizens to purchase a commercial product. It would be downright sinful, Frodo supposed, for a Hobbit to have to buy health insurance, and to suffer a penalty should he fail to so do. Judge Vinson certainly supported the logic of those who feel that requiring the purchase of commercial insurance by those not covered by an employer plan falls beyond the scope of governmental authority. Automobile insurance was not an acceptable trend-setting example for the judge in his consideration. The judge did manage to mention that the action of certain parties in Boston Harbor a few centuries ago was a representative response to the indiscretions of British rule which the citizenry herein now note as the brew-kettle beverage political fandango.
The bad taste evident in such remarks left an additional opening for a precedent which, of course, this legal moron would never realize without adult assistance. The USPS delivers the mail in every state. The service is completed when the postal employee places the delivery in an approved container or egress to property. Absent a "mail box," "delivery chute," or some other designated delivery drop-off, the postal employee does not deliver the mail. Since the United States Government does not manufacture mail boxes, nor do they saw letter slots in front doors, it is a truism that unless a private citizen purchases such a device from a private company, then they do not receive any service. Penalized, one might say, for not buying a little "postal insurance."
Judge Vinson was appointed to his life-term position by President Reagan. It was not one of Ronnie's better days. He should have tipped off the judge about the utility of hair-coloring. People don't immediately recognize you as a dumb, old fart.