Topic: "Conspiracy Theory" (4)
Frodo has been making a concerted effort not to scorn those who swallow the grape juice. Taking his cue from President Obama, Frodo has sincerely convened a process of listen-consider-debate in order to help mentally-challenged individuals accept the fact that, as of today, the Republican Party is little more than a heated slice of bread. What he has found however, is that many refuse to accept the fact that they fly in the face of reason and public opinion. In fact, Frodo was recently exposed to the current supposition which as some in the minority allege, is little more than Obama's plot to permanently implement the "liberal agenda."
Frodo pressed his fingertips to resemble the steeple at Winchester Catheral as he considered the words of his friend, "That Obama has certainly hosed us, hasn't he?"
"In what way, dear friend and gentle heart?" queried the respectful Frodo.
"He's blown this financial crisis out of all proportion, and he's done so for the solitary purpose of getting the American public to accept all of the 'Democrat' pork-barrel projects."
"Pardon?" responded the quizzical Hobbit.
"You know what I mean," he said, "that Socialist has scared everyone into believing that if they don't give him 'carte blanche' with trillions of dollars, without even reading the 'Stimulus' legislation, we'll all be out of jobs and/or flat broke before noon tomorrow."
"Wait a minute," responded he of the Brotherhood of the Ring, "are you saying that the President is using this 'crisis' as a way to force implementation of his political opinions and goals?"
"Well, duh, can't you see it?"
"Well, out of fairness if nothing else," said the startled friend of Samwise, "I was giving the new President a little leeway in his apparent sincerity to seek a bipartisan approach to a huge problem. Honestly, I thought that what he's done was to fight a recession the best way he knows how, and to involve as many people as possible in the process."
"Oh come on Frodo, Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid wrote that whole damn Stimulus Bill in one night, and they put in everything from the kitchen sink to statehood for the District of Columbia."
"Now you're being just a little bit silly," smiled the flushed scaler of Mount Doom. "Can't you believe that there might actually be one man who is determined to eliminate the enmity, and who is doing his absolute best for the country, and that he truly doesn't care who gets the credit?"
"Frodo, Frodo, Frodo, how can you be so naive?"
"I'm not being naive," retorted he who struggled against Gollum, "it may indeed by a 'leap of faith' on my part, but I truly believe in this good man. I am a damn good judge of character, and I believe this is a guy who loves his kids, his family, his country, and who sees his role in history, and realizes how much he represents to those, like me, who have put their trust in him. Do you mean you can't honestly believe that he might be for real?"
"He needs to cut taxes. That is the only way to encourage business growth and investment. Without that, he's doing exactly what Carter and Clinton did by supporting the Community Reinvestment Act. They were the ones who got people to get mortgages for houses they couldn't afford."
"Are you saying that this is just the continuation of a social theory dreamed up by Jimmy Carter?" asked the keeper of the Shire.
"Actually, it goes back to Roosevelt."
"You know, old friend," lamented the smallest, and the weakest, " I think I finally understand why you became a banker."
"And why is that?"
"Because. . ." (Dear Reader: Frodo does not have the courage to use such an old joke himself, please feel free to complete the sentence as you deem appropriate).