Mood: vegas lucky
Topic: "A Capitol Idea" (6)
Two forces are converging in the skies above our homeland at the very same time, thinks Frodo. Government is responding to the will of those who bothered to vote during the off-year elections, and Business is developing new ways to increase profits. Frodo has been smitten by one example from the private sector, and is today prepared to submit his own plan for the economic recovery of Middle Earth. Let us begin with what is happening, right now.
The Just Born Candy Company of Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, whose products include Peanut Chews, Peeps, Mike and Ike's, Teenie Beanie, and Hot Tamales, devised a plan to incentivize, both positively and negatively, their sales staff. Management told the two dozen sales people that, if they met their cumulative sales goals for the fiscal year just ended, they would each receive a vacation in Hawaii. On the other hand, they said, much to the bemusement of the sales staff, should the cumulative sales goals not be met, the sales staff would receive a vacation in the tundra of the Arctic.
Ha, ha, ho, ho, they thought.
The sales staff exceeded prior year accomplishments by 2%, unfortunately the goal was to exceed the prior year by 4%.
Goodbye Maui, Hello Fargo.
The 19-story Radisson Inn, the tallest building in Fargo, is tonight the vacation home of the the 24-person sales staff of the Just Born Candy Company of Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. Last evening, they attended the All-U-Can Eat Spaghetti Dinner held every Monday Night, at the VFW. Today, they attempted to tour two local wineries, but their progress was hindered by the 2 and one-half feet of snow on the ground. The temperature on Maui is currently 78 degrees.
Management announced to the sales staff this evening that next year's choices would be Maui, if they met the new goals, or, in the other event, in Rapid City, South Dakota.
Who says management isn't responsive to the needs of working people?
Frodo began this treatise talking about two forces at work, so he offers the potential, dear reader, to something similar to the newly-elected House of Representatives of the United States. Should you guys and gals succeed at reducing the deficit, bringing an end to the War in Afghanistan, and returning our nation to full employment, then each of you will get to go to Hawaii in order to search for the birth certificate of President Obama. On the other hand however, should you fail to reduce the deficit by even just a smidgen, or to reduce troop levels in our latest unnecessary foreign entanglement, or to put everybody that wants a job in a job, then you guys and gals, every last damn one of ya, gets two weeks in Wasilla (second prize is a full month), next December.
You had better start hoping this global-warming stuff is for real.