Topic: "Smokin' Pesticide Dope"
Teflon is not usually in the kit bag of an exterminator, and would probably be useful only to fend off questions should the termites return. Frodo believes that inexperience with Teflon is why House Majority Leader Tom DeLay (R-Where Else but Texas?) got exorcised over a recent episode of "Law and Order: Criminal Intent."
Frodo reminds the reader of the Terry Schiavo situation, and the resultant comments, inappropriate to be sure, by DeLay. "The time will come for the men responsible for this to answer for their behavior," he said only hours after Ms. Schiavo's body joined her mind. A week later, DeLay apologized for his "inartful" comments.
In the television drama episode, which it should be noted is Sam's favorite show, one of the police officers said, "Maybe we should put out an APB for somebody in a Tom DeLay T-shirt?" Since the episode involved the shooting death of a federal judge, Mr. DeLay evidently felt that the comment was also "inartful." However, in his letter to the head dude at NBC Universal Television, DeLay felt that the comment was actually more of a "slur."
Frodo has been very disappointed with the role taken by television journalism. As Ted Turner has said, they seem more concerned with the "pervert of the day," than that which imperils Middle Earth. Frodo was encouraged by these drama guys at NBC, their top Entertainment guy, Kevin Reilly, defended the show and said that "It's not unusual. . .to mention real names in fictional stories. . ." Creator Dick Wolf added, "I congratulate Congressman DeLay for switching the spotlight from his own problems to an episode of a television show."
Frodo's stomach still quivers when he remembers Archer, Armey, and DeLay sitting side-by-side in the House of Representatives. Larry, Moe, and Curley were never better typecast for posterity. Archer re-wrote the tax laws so that his kids would not have to share his estate with the Citizens of Middle Earth. Armey was a walking, talking advertisement for corporate campaign contributions. DeLay, another "reformed" alcoholic, must have inhaled deeply around some of those pesticides, or else he is too dumb to properly apply Teflon to his political butt.