Topic: "Runaround Tsu"
Frodo takes special pleasure in those accomplishments which stand the test of time. A few weeks ago, Mr. Kozo Haraguchi, a Japanese national, ran the 100 meters in 22.04 seconds.
"22.04 seconds? Are you crazy Frodo? The world record is somewhere around 9.1 seconds. That may be the slowest time I've ever heard recorded for the 100 meters," so said Legolas. "The way I figure it," he said "your speed demon was cruising in at about 4 miles an hour over a distance shorter than a football field."
"I know my friend,' saith Frodo, "but you need to consider that it was raining, and that Mr. Haraguchi was afraid that he might fall. After all, it was the first time that he had ever run competitively in the rain."
"Is there something I'm missing in all of this?" said Legolas.
"Oh, didn't I tell you that Mr. Haraguchi is 95 years old?" said Frodo. "He broke the world record for the 100 meters in the 95-99 years of age grouping" (previously held by Erwin Jaskulski of Hawaii at 24.01 seconds).
Frodo notes that Mr. Haraguchi also holds the record in the 90-95 age bracket, when he covered the same distance in 18.8 seconds back in 2000. This was the same year that George W. Bush became President. Five years later, he is also running around in circles.
Frodo is trying to picture what George W. Bush will look like when he turns 95. No matter what state he's in at that time (e.g. animal, vegetable, or mineral), he will be the penultimate example of how dope affects the outcome of a race.
Tomorrow night he addresses the American people to explain how we're winning the War in Iraq. The Braves play the Marlins, and the NBA Draft is on ESPN. It is nice to have alternatives in case he forgets to submit his resignation.