Topic: "Bloopers" (5)
Many years ago, so goes the story, a radio announcer was interviewing the buxom movie-starlet Jayne Mansfield. The termination of the interview was programmed to coincide with a commercial to be introduced by the announcer. The announcer thanked Ms. Mansfield for her time and then said, "And remember friends to 'Knock, knock, for Bigger Knocker Beer' (which, of course was supposed to be "Knock, knock, for Knickerbocker Beer)." This was affectionately dubbed as a "blooper," and was one of many collected far and wide on long-play albums to titillate the developing psyches of the pre-beat generation.
Frodo's all-time favorite blooper emanated from a Baseball Game-of-the-Week broadcast, featuring former players Pee Wee Reese and Dizzy Dean as the announcers. During a slow moment on the field, the black-and-white camera panned the fans in the stands. The camera settled on a young couple, taking advantage of the moment, bussing each other affectionately. Pee Wee, waxing poetic, remarked "Aw Diz, ain't love wonderful?" The less than Homeric Dizzy Dean mindlessly responded, "Yeah Pee Wee, he's kissing her on the strikes, and she's kissing him on the balls."
Frodo recalled "bloopers" yesterday when he took note of the tragic news coming out of Ohio, about a fire at the Lebanon Raceway that claimed the lives of as many as 60 racing horses, and two people. Frodo happened to be listening to the CNN Broadcast, since it was the only news channel available at that time-of-day, and the announcer was the mindless chattering chiasma, Don Lemon. Frodo always changes channels, except in an instance such as this, when the ebullient Mr. Lemon is occupying the announcer's chair. In Frodo's opinion, he is documentation of the periodic ineffectiveness of affirmative action. The guy doesn't have a clue.
When all was said and done, Mr. Lemon concluded his presentation of the terrible news about the fire's destruction of the horse stables by announcing that "Racing has been cancelled for the day."
Frodo had this vision of jockeys, circling the far turn, in their multi-colored "silks" and high boots, sprinting afoot, taking necessarily itty-bitty strides toward the finish-line. Thank Heavens that Mr. Lemon was there to correct Frodo's faulty assumption that the race would go on, even if all of the horses were dead.
Thanks to Mr. Lemon, all he could say was "Well, duh!"