Topic: "Eyes of a Gorilla"
In December, a group of eight rare mountain gorillas disappeared from an Ugandan Nature Reserve. Rumors sparked that the primates had been abducted by neighboring Rwanda in order to boost tourism in their National Parks. It has long been debated in Wildlife circles whether Uganda or Rwanda offers more favorable viewing of creatures in the wild. Frodo has always been partial to Panama City, Florida.
Last week the missing gorillas returned to their home in Uganda, accompanied by a new baby and another adult gorilla. Frodo was struck by the analogy to polite human society when a neighbors' daughter got "knocked up." The unfortunate young lady would depart for a "home" in a neighboring state, and return some time later with a perfectly plausible, although unbelievable, story about why she had this infant in her possession. Considering the events of the Jennifer Wilbanks non-story on all the TV networks, Frodo feels there is synergy here.
All eight gorillas boarded a Greyhound bus at the terminal in Duluth, Georgia, bound for Las Vegas. Once there, they headed south to Albuquerque, simply because it was spelled in as bizarre a manner as any word in their native tongue, and when repeated three times in rapid succession, sounds exactly like the mating call of some sort of jungle bird. Does, doesn't it?
One of the gorillas, a wide-eyed charmer, gave birth in Albuquerque. The father, she alleged, was an Hispanic male whose promise had been to elope, but whose intent had proved to be less than honorable. At this point, the gorillas called home, seeking assistance. The Ugandan Special Army (USA, for short) provided assistance back to their mountain home for all of the native gorillas and for their medical/spiritual adviser the Majority Leader of the United States Senate, Bill Frist. Dr. Frist, when asked to comment on the events that had taken place, responded by singing "OOO EEE OOO AH AH WING WANG WALLA WALLA BING BANG."
The commercial media back in Uganda feigned outrage at the investigative and transportation costs borne by taxpayers. Frodo feels quite confident that the entrance fee to Uganda's Nature Reserves will be increased to absorb the additional cost. This obviously mature solution far surpassed the activities of the monkeys in Gwinnett County. It does indeed prove that there, the animals are running the zoo.