Topic: "Goose Again"
Frodo is unable to recall the first time that he saw a Canadian Goose. They were virtually unknown in the Shire for many years. Tales of mates lingering for days over the body of the fallen were romantic stories told by children and published in THE READER'S DIGEST. Today, of course, the Canadian Goose has reached epidemic numbers, and since every adult produces approximately one pound of goose poop per day, a bit of a sanitary problem as well. Ah but, the problems of the Shire pale in comparison to those of Ulf Ilback and his son Carl Johan (Ilback) of Sweden.
Mr. Ilback and his son were hunting along a stream in the eastern part of their homeland when Carl Johan fired a shot aloft at a wayward Canadian Goose. Falling from approximately 60 feet in the air, it hit Ulf in the head and knocked him out cold (which goes without saying in Sweden). Two days later, when Ulf awoke, he was heard to say that "It wanted to extract its revenge, I assume. If such is indeed the case, then I shall surely wear a helmet next month when I go Moose hunting."
Frodo truly hopes that Mr. Ilback recovers fully from his injuries. Had this goose occurred in the US of A Frodo fears that the story would have expanded to match the population.
Given America's present leadership, Frodo envisions Wayne LaPierre of the National Rifle Association suggesting protective tax benefits for injured hunters. Charlton Heston, if he had a mind to (and for that comment Frodo truly apologizes), would probably say that no goose would ever pull the rifle from "these cold, dead hands." The Secretary of Homeland Obscurity would declare a "yellow alert," and President Bush would read a speech promoting the drilling of oilwells in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge.
It just goes to show you, dear reader, that if even a single goose can put you in the hospital, then a handful can put you in deep doo-doo.