Topic: "Qualified? Yeah Right!"
Frodo is in hysterics. It was announced today that a former University of Southern California football player, drafted by the Pittsburgh Steelers, who has been shilling as a "Sideline Sports Announcer" (evidently not good enough to make it to the "booth") because he wasn't qualified to do anything else, is running for the Republican nomination to be Governor of Pennsylvania. Pennsylvania, one of America's most populous states, to be governed by a guy with less relevant experience than that of Michael Brown, formerly of FEMA.
How appropriate, thought Frodo, that Lynn Swann announced his intentions on the day that Jack Abramoff's contributions to politicians were publicly listed for all to see. Who among any of the citizens of Middle Earth truly believes that he is prepared for the task at hand?
Jesse Ventura did a great job in Minnesota, didn't he? How about the high effectiveness of Steve Largent in the Congress? Who'll ever forget the service of Arnold Schwarzenegger in California?
Frodo thinks we have been overlooking the tremendous untapped potential of athletes in guiding our nation. O.J. Simpson, Dexter Manley, Michael Irvin, Kobe Bryant, Ron Artest, Rafael Palmiero, John Rocker, Barry Bonds--the list is endless. These are all examples of "America's Best."
Frodo wonders how many of them graduated? Surely, Swann got a degree from Southern Cal, didn't he?
Frodo wonders how many served in the Military? Surely, Swann at least joined the National Guard while he slaved at the wide receiver spot for the Steelers?
Frodo wonders how many have voted? Surely, Swann has cast his personal vote on Diebold machinery as well as on a punchcard?
America needs another unqualified politician almost as much as she needs nuclear weaponry in Iran. Stay home Swannee, and polish your Lamborghini.