Topic: "Dogs Rule"
Frodo once examined a resume' as part of a test. The resume' was on two pages, the first of which was a chronology and a brief explanation of the education and work experience of the individual. The second page was a brief narrative which included specific responsibilities, accomplishments, and future goals. Frodo was asked if this "marketing presentation" was an effective vehicle for achieving the author's goal of a personal interview by a prospective employer?
Frodo studied the document in depth, actually reading every word, searching for nuance. For the most part, it was very well done, but then Frodo happened to notice the infamous "gap in employment." In fact, the first page totally omitted a 10-year period of time in the work history of the author.
Frodo was puzzled and turned to the second page for a possible explanation. Frodo realized that already the author had achieved the desired result of making the reader pay complete attention instead of merely glossing over the high points. What Frodo found however, made him laugh out loud. The author noted that he had an interruption to his work history for 10 years while he resided in Kansas, Leavenworth to be exact. It seems that he had been a "bank robber, and a poor one at that." Although Frodo did not feel that the individual warranted a personal interview, he has never forgotten how well the circumstances were presented.
The BBC has reported that the Chinese firm Jilin Jiangshan Human Resources Development Company has decided that in the future it will only employ people born during the astrological Year of the Dog. The company contends that "dog-types" show great loyalty and other valuable qualities.
In light of this decision by a representative of the world's great emerging superpower, it may well behoove future resume' writers to adjust their documents to reflect such specificity. Frodo envisions an employment candidate who tactfully avoids the fact that he was born during the Year of the Rat. To further emphasize the qualities of the Dog it might be in the best interest of the applicant to point out that he enjoys sticking his head out of the window of a moving motorcar, has a particular fondness for dried cat poop, and that he enjoys sleeping on his back. Appropriately, he may convince some prospective interviewer that he has also learned to turn around at least three times before he lays down.
Frodo regretfully notes that the theory of the world going to the dogs seems just a little less theoretical. There has to be a role for the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission in all of this, and there is certainly an attorney somewhere practicing the art of scratching his ear with his leg. Rats of the World, Unite!