Frodo is taking issue with the purported discovery of the world's smallest fish. Researchers have reported that PAEDOCYPRIS PROGENETICA (a distant cousin of the carp) is not only the world's smallest fish, but the world's smallest vertebrate as well. Discovered in the steaming peat bogs of Sumatra, the smallest adult specimen captured was just 0.31 of an inch from nose to tail.
Last summer, while cruising "Lake Lovey" on the "U.S.S. Minnow," with Mick (the Wonder Dog) and Fiona (the most beautiful girl in the world), Frodo happened to notice riffles in the water under a low-hanging tree limb. Stealthily, or at least as quietly as one can navigate with dogs barking at every squirrel in every tree within a 10-mile radius, Frodo guided the pontoon craft to a point within reasonable casting distance.
Outfitted with the penultimate in rubber worms, i.e. "purple but with a shocking pink tail," Frodo dropped the lure directly in front of whatever denizen was laying waste to the baitfish tipping the surface. An immense shadow passed between Frodo and the now motionless worm at the bottom of the lake. Suddenly, the shadow turned and raced directly for Frodo's lure. Frodo could feel beads of sweat forming in numerous locations on his body.
From out of nowhere, something raced in front of the immense shadow and grabbed Frodo's lure from the open maw of the largemouth bass. Frodo pulled mightily on his exclusive Shakespeare rod, and set the hook deeply. Within moments Frodo had the prize on the deck of the "Minnow."
Neither Mick nor Fiona even bothered to get up from their shady resting spots on deck. Frodo looked longingly at the immense shadow now turning into deeper water as he attempted to remove the 0.29 of an inch true minnow from his hook. The greedy little pecker had tried to take a lure which was bigger than he was.
Frodo believes that fish was a Republican.