Topic: "Punxatawney Bush"
Every year, it seems, George W. Bush outlines his plans for the future right about the time that the ground hog sees his shadow, followed by six more weeks of winter. Frodo believes there is a relationship between such mythology and politicians. Nancy Reagan, for example, was such a believer in astrological charts that she timed many of her husband's activities to the movement of the stars (for purposes of clarification, Frodo is not referring to public figures in Hollywood). The result being that Reagan was dubbed "The Teflon President," because none of his errors or bumblings associated themselves with his public persona.
George W. Bush cannot seem to escape the "six week window of opportunity" that characterizes his administration. Last year, Sauron stated that he was going to "reform Social Security." For the next six weeks, he attended every convention of white hand-picked dullards in all the land, and preached to them about his noble plan. When that didn't work, he saw his shadow and retreated.
Soon thereafter Sauron decided that Harriet Miers would be an outstanding Supreme Court Justice. For the next six weeks he appeared before every hand-picked, overweight and senile body still breathing in order to convince them to "trust" his judgment. When that failed, he disappeared for six more weeks.
Most recently, he emerged from his burrow in Crawford in order to encourage his fellow citizens to "stay the course" in the Pre-emptive War in Iraq. The spectre of continually falling approval ratings allowed him to concentrate on preparations for yesterday's pronouncements while hiding since mid-December.
Frodo was surprised only by the fact that there was not one single original thought in anything he had to say. Ethanol, been there, done that; R&D tax breaks, been around since Carter; more teachers in science and math, mentioned by Eisenhower; and reforming healthcare, that was Harry Truman at first blush.
Now he's seen his shadow again, so it'll be about six weeks until he gets warmed up to start stomping grapes in front of his hand-picked idolaters.
"What's that you say, Mr. Frodo?"
"Yeah, I guess that's true. When he smirks he even looks like a ground hog."