Topic: "The Future is Now (2)"
Frodo has never considered himself elitist in any sense of the word. He does however, have little tolerance for people who wear cowboy boots, chew tobacco, and spout homilies about what Americans really want and believe. It is not difficult to lump many Texans under such an umbrella. It would be impossible to exclude Senator George Allen (R-Virginia).
Frodo remembers the "Over-the-Hill Gang" of the Washington Redskins as if it were yesterday. Sonny Jurgensen or Billy Kilmer would hand off to Larry Brown, who would follow the block of Charlie Harraway, into the hole opened by Len Hauss, and follow the interference of Jerry Smith down the sidelines past the hateful gaze of Tom Landry and Roger Staubach. Frodo can still here the Redskins' Coach, George Allen, say "Twenty-Two Men, pulling together, cannot lose." In the background would be the song, over and over the song, "Hail Victory, I say Hail to the Redskins, Fight for Old D.C."
After the game, Coach Allen would eat ice cream.
Coach Allen's son entered politics and became Governor of Virginia. Subsequently, he ran for the Senate, and now he is the apparent chief rival to Senator John McCain for the Republican nomination to succeed George W. Bush as President.
The only good thing about that last sentence is the phrase "succeed George W. Bush." It has a nice ring to it, doesn't it, dear reader? It is certainly the most hopeful phrase Frodo has heard in some time. A true harbinger of better times.
George Allen models himself after Thomas Jefferson, not his father. He is quite adept at taking words from Jeffersonian uttering and inputting them into the context of some bizarre adage about conservative ideology. Frodo wishes he could face George Allen and establish a dialogue as follows:
"Senator, I knew Thomas Jefferson. Thomas Jefferson was a friend of mine. Senator, you are no Thomas Jefferson."
NOTE: Frodo pays special homage to the only words ever produced by a Texan which he will ever use in polite company. Thank you, Lloyd Bentsen.