Mood: vegas lucky
Topic: "NFL Commissioner (2)"
Gandalf and Frodo were observed discussing the purported outreach to Florida Governor Jeb Bush to become Commissioner of the National Football League. Frodo thought it amusing that President George W. Bush would then become known as the "Commissioner's Brother." Gandalf, however, took umbrage and suggested that Frodo should consider what kind of Commissioner a Bush Brother would actually become.
"Consider, Frodo, the quality of leadership from which the Commissioner would draw his decision-making," said Gandalf. "For example, early in his Administration the Commissioner would probably launch 'a pre-emptive strike' against the Players Union."
"Ah, I see what you mean," said Frodo. "I can imagine that ticket prices, just like gasoline, will quadruple in price."
"Now you've got it, so don't you also think that individually profitable franchises will thus become deficit-ridden?"
"Well of course, and I have no doubt that the Commissioner will announce plans to initiate a new franchise on the Planet Mars," said Frodo with a giggle and a smile.
"How about starting a 'guest player program' in which soccer-style kickers are allowed to apply for citizenship if they make more than 50% of their field goal attempts?"
"Oh, I'm all for that, but we have to consider security first, therefore the Commissioner will propose using the National Guard to collect tickets."
"Well certainly, and should the bathrooms flood in in one of the domed stadiums, then the President could use the Guardsmen to help evacuate the fans in a week or so."
"Remember that the Commissioner's other brother, Neil, who honed his financial management skills in a savings and loan, could offer his services to arrange the team schedules."
"Ha, that means the Dolphins would be playing the Redskins in Oakland on a Wednesday afternoon."
"Now, now, you know that all the officials would be instructed to blow the whistle whenever a foul is committed, and to say 'Read my lips, no more holding.'"
"Before every game, rather than the National Anthemn or 'God Bless America," there would be a new song sung by some lame-o from Nashville."
Frodo paused, looking at Gandalf, "And what song would that be?"
"Send in the Clowns."
Frodo stopped and his mood turned somber. "Don't worry, they're here," he said, as they returned to the task at hand.