Topic: "Chipmonkeys Alert (2)"
One of the most heart-wrenching of all the lessons learned from Hurricane Katrina, in Frodo's opinion, has to do with the lost and abandoned house pets of the Gulf Coast. Were there enough room in the Shire, as well as liberal zoning restrictions, Frodo and Sam would've fostered all of them. About this same time, the gallant Howard and Sam's Stepmother were separated by the disease that is known as Alzheimer's. The breakup of the household meant that the aforementioned house cat, known only as "Boy," would become homeless.
Sam had determined quite some time before that the very large, and overweight, all white cat would join the residents of the Shire. Punkin', Sam's special cat, had succumbed to kidney breakdown, and Rocky was nearing the final count of 10 in his battle. Adapting the three-year-old cat to the Shire would mean that only dogs and one cockatiel would have to be ameliorated. The cat had never escaped the internal confines of the dungeon that had been his home. In the Shire, there was no way to keep him from access to the dog-door which leads to the fully-enclosed "back 40."
The biggest challenge was the lack of a valid name. Sam demanded something appropriately Southern, so "Beau" seemed almost fulfilling. Frodo added "Neau" to the moniker, to pay homage to a talented and socially-conscious musician.
Beau Neau is a chase object to Mick, the Wonder Dog. Whenever spotted in the backyard, Mick, the Wonder Dog, goes into full attack mode, and Beau Neau immediately begins evasive maneuvers. Beau Neau has also learned to hide; he hides just about as well as a very large all-white cat can amongst the English Ivy and the low-hanging bushes. He has also learned to use these hiding places in order to develop his hunting prowess.
Frodo is not fond of the fact that he is harboring a killer. At first, it was kind of neat that Beau Neau was making mincemeat, literally, of the field mice and wood rats who routinely invaded the bird feeders of the Shire. Once all of them were gone, Sam began to notice pieces of blue-tailed skink and garter snake on the floor of the laundry room. Trophies were being left for Sam's approval.
Moles were next. Since moles do harm to many plants, although they are blind and very helpless, Frodo accepted their demise.
The chipmunks ("Chipmonkeys" in our lexicon) have been something else however. These miniature rats are cute, and Frodo can't help but ruminate on memories of "Chip" and "Dale" from the Wonderful World of Disney. Now Frodo would not mind if Beau Neau would turn his attention to the squirrels who plague the Shire, and certainly Beau Neau is big enough to kick some aerial rat butt. He is however much more interested in the Chipmonkeys. He is also fond of bringing them into Sam's laundry room.
Frodo believes that the Chipmonkey Saga will come to a swift conclusion once Sam takes an active role. There is no fury like that of a Hobbit protecting a laundry room from uninvited visitors.
In the interim, Frodo notes a great similarity between the Chipmonkeys and the current controversy regarding illegal immigration. Although the Chipmonkeys are keenly aware of the danger, they know that bird seed fallen from feeders is a great source of nutrition to the offspring, and it is a risk worth taking.
Frodo knows that he is not further able to secure the borders of the Shire, and Beau Neau certainly represents a segment of the population that wants these illegal intrusions to continue. Frodo certainly hopes that no one discusses this quandary with George W. Bush. The National Guard has enough to do, and one anarchy at a time is sufficient to keep the House of Representatives from scheduling hearings at St. Andrews.