Topic: "A Course is a Course"(2)
President George Walker (Armstrong Custer) Bush has recently initiated a course in remedial elocution for the Citizens of Middle Earth. His theme in the Course has been that what the citizens hear is not what is being communicated. Had the public not been distracted by those who choose to "cut and run," they would have understood that what was being said is not what they heard.
Frodo has offered to help make the point for the President. Frodo suggested that we start with the recently compromised Un-Policy statement, "Stay the Course." Any truly cognizant listener would have quickly surmised that the President actiually meant "Play the Horse." The President was endorsing pari-mutuel betting to help States reduce their dependence on Federal largesse. Sam, who is sometimes a bit too argumentative on matters such as these, pointed out that the President actually said "Slay the Norse," which was a reference to the growing tensions with the socialists of Scandinavia. Boromir phoned in to correct both Frodo and Sam with his interpretation that Bush had called for a "Gray Porsche," perhaps in preparation for his next scheduled backrub for the German Prime Minister. Merry sent in an e-mail from South Carolina and told all that our Leader had specified that listeners should "Belay the Force," in their continuing efforts to overcome evil influences in Mordor.
It was quickly becoming clear that the Un-Policy had been widely interpreted, and thereby required corrective definition by the "Great Communicator" from Crawford. The best example of this need was Pippin's allegation that the real message had been to "Delay the Borscht," which truly makes no sense whatsoever, but adequately reflected the fact that the audience was running out of rhyme.
Presidential Press Secretary Tony Snow, who serves as the point of coordination for re-phraseology and definitive adjustments, asked only that we all bow our heads and "Pray for the Source."