Topic: "Kodak Moment" (2)
Jim Webb probably has as much interest in having his picture taken with George W. Bush as Frodo has in having a photograph taken with Smeagol. The Senator-Elect from the State of Virginia was roundly assaulted by Columnist George Will for his apparent snub of the congeniality initiated by Sauron. Webb, claims Will, responded to the Presidential inquiry of "How's your boy?," with a shortarm reference to the need to get all of the troops home from Iraq. Sauron, with his nose now bent out of joint, followed up the retort with something to the effect that that was not his question, he wanted an answer to "How's your boy?" At that point Webb evidently told him that it was none of his business, or something along that line.
Frodo has long-believed that George Will pays deference to George W. Bush because Bush traded Sammy Sosa to the hapless Chicago Cubs. Will thinks he owes Bush.
For one, Frodo was quite proud of the soon-to-be Senator. Without a single obscenity, Webb let the President know that his attempt at personal interest in relation to one of the very few offspring of any political personage involved in the pre-emptive war was not a welcome area of discussion. Frodo has been trying to think how he might have responded had the Incomparable Moron asked him a similar question, in order to not have offended Mr. George Will.
"How's your boy?"
"Thank you for asking Sir. He's actually doing quite well as I understand. He has been on R & R in Argentina. Evidently, Argentina is a good place for a single young guy to go sow 'a few wild oats,' if you know what I mean."
"Argentina, you say?"
"Yessir, evidently he had quite a time with a couple of chickies from back in Texas somewhere, and they just about wore him out."
"Is that Senator-to-be Corker I see over there?"
"Listen George, from what I hear those two girls picked up a lot from their old man, wink wink!"
"Well, I certainly hope that your boy gets home safe and sound."
"Oh I know you do. You see Commander-in-Chief, little Jenna left her purse under the bed, and my son sent it to me. Those girls must have told you that they had some interesting items in that purse. I understand they reported it stolen."
"I beg your pardon? What are you talking about?"
"Do you want to tell the American people about the surgical procedure little Jenna went through in Buenos Aires, or do you want me to release it directly to The Washington Post?"
"Uh, I'll tell you Mr. Frodo, why don't you and the Mrs. join Laura and me out at the ranch in Crawford this weekend?"
"Mr. President, I am just so pleased and proud that you are so sincere about working with the incoming Congress in an impartial, nonpartisan effort to get things accomplished."
"You'll come then?"
"Not on your life you hairless lizard. Now get this, you will accept the Baker Commission Report as submitted, and will proceed with the complete adoption of their recommendations on Iraq immediately."
"But. . ."
"Butt this, you will reverse your position on government funding for Stem-Cell Research tomorrow, and then you will announce that the government will no longer seek to eliminate the Estate Tax."
"You can't do things like that to the President. . ."
No, maybe Frodo couldn't, but if it meant saving the life of somebody's son from this stupid, nonsensical, useless War, then what Frodo might actually do would truly surprise George Will, that is, if he has a conscience.